Maria Gray, From “Bad Nostalgia”

birthday blues really need to be studied more cause why the fuck am i being sad on my birthday again??? and it's not even my birthday yet, but i can feel the sadness rising up? what the fuck???

it's crazy how I put myself under so much pressure to fit into what society deems a girl is. like I made two versions of my stardew valley profile picture and won't use the one here on any other app because there are people who know me irl and I'm afraid of them seeing me with "short hair"

does anyone have that picture of the mlm couple kissing with a wlw couple kissing on their shoulders I can’t find it

When will my life begin?

Counting life in appointments

One week, one month, one year.

Horrified of what there is to come

Glad that what was is over.

Putting everything on hold

Friends, emotions, youth.

I have to wait for the new me

Wait until she's me.

I'm trapped inside this body

Or maybe it's her who's trapped?

What even is the difference

when we'll never be one another?

I don't know how to feel, what to feel

The hope of getting there is like a candle

in the midst of a storm at the coast.

Please end this waiting

Why cry if it doesn't change a thing

Why hope if the appointment turns into

a disappointment

Why try to build up something

if it's gonna be for nothing?

I'm here

nothing more, nothing less

just ordered "hold still" with a gift card i got from donating blood. it doesn't get much better than this

i picked up "watch over me" by nina lacour today after having it on my desk for almost a month now because i was afraid it wouldn't make me feel as much as "we are okay" did. and oh boy was i wrong. i don't know how she does it, but she just gets the loneliness i experience so often

someone just said "bring me the horizon are at their best when they're just weird as fuck" and i couldn't agree more. i know some people don't like their new style, but in my opinion it slaps and i love that they're blending everything they've done before in their latest songs

I finally started playing life is strange (only almost ten years late to the party I guess) and I love that the game warns me if an action will have consequences cuz well I'm always second-guessing everything. but why did it warn me that watering my houseplant will have consequences?

there really isn't anything that hits quite as hard as hearing the singer of the band that helped you through some of your worst years sing "it's okay to cry" from the top of his lungs. like technically i know. i don't know how many songs of yours made me cry already. but hearing you say it made me feel something i haven't felt in a long time

i wonder

i wonder if anyone would notice

if i just stayed here

in bed

it's getting so dark outside

and I can't pull myself up

can't bring myself to leave

i wonder if anyone would notice

if i just sank into

the pillows

deeper and deeper

until the world is shut out

and all these fears can't find me anymore

i wonder if anyone would notice

if i just stayed home

with tea and a book

so i can witness

other people fighting their demons

hoping they are braver than me

hey girl awesome pussy. it looks like it was expensive