I Don't Need Therapy I Just Need To Be Saved By An Older Wealthy Woman With An I-could-fix-her Complex

The legacies people leave behind in you.

My handwriting is the same style as the teacher’s who I had when I was nine. I’m now twenty one and he’s been dead eight years but my i’s still curve the same way as his.

I watched the last season of a TV show recently but I started it with my friend in high school. We haven’t spoken in four years.

I make lentil soup through the recipe my gran gave me.

I curl my hair the way my best friend showed me.

I learned to love books because my father loved them first.

How terrifying, how excruciatingly painful to acknowledge this. That I am a jigsaw puzzle of everyone I have briefly known and loved. I carry them on with me even if I don’t know it. How beautiful.

Sundaekids on Instagram

I’m yearning so bad, I just want to have a person.

I want someone I can cuddle up with when I’m home. I want to be able to hold hands when we’re walking, and hold her bag in my other hand, so she doesn’t have to. I want to get her flowers for no reason, and craft silly things for her. I want to make art inspired by her and show it. I want to cook together with her favourite music playing softly in the background. I want to have dinner together and simply chat about anything. I want to grab her coat and hold it open for her, so she can slide her arms right in. I want to watch the sunset together, and stargaze afterwards. I want someone who takes my hoodies, and to get hers in return. I want to go fetch her favourite drink while she’s busy, because she deserves it. I want to watch her favourite films, so I can admire her as she talks about them excitedly.

I want to do so much for someone, I just need that someone.

im 19 :)

i'm a bit new to the whole dom/sub thing- i know id be submissive and all, but i tend to be extremely sarcastic and i struggle taking things seriously and focusing in on stuff. it's not that i don't want to submit, i just tend to struggle with letting myself. and when things do get serious, i tend to panic and make a lot of jokes and quips to try and lighten the mood / get out of the situation. im a bit worried that if i did end up in a dom/sub relationship, that my panic attitude would be mistaken for brattiness or disobedience. i really want to be obedient and be able to submit to someone, i just don't know how to let myself and to be honest im kind of scared.

also- i'm not sure why but sometimes i get these really intense like submissive urges (?) and my thoughts get all foggy. it usually results in me having a mental breakdown and cuddling a stuffy and crying. do you know what that is / why it happens?

- 🦊

Hello, my lovely little fox,

Thank you so much for sharing your age. That fox is all yours now, for as long as you want it.

Now, let me just say how brave and self-aware you are for sharing all of this information about you with me. It takes a tender kind of courage to speak so honestly about the things you’re feeling, especially when they feel big or confusing. I see you, I’m proud of you.

Let’s start with that wonderful, sarcastic streak of yours. I think it’s important to say this right away: submission doesn’t mean becoming someone else. It’s not about shutting off your personality or “performing” submission in one rigid way. Some submissives are quiet and still. Others are cheeky, giggly, sarcastic, or even a little chaotic. All are valid.

What you’re describing; using humor and quips as a way to cope or deflect when things get intense, is something so many people experience, especially if they’re sensitive, neurodivergent, anxious, or have trauma responses. It’s not disobedience. It’s not brattiness. It’s your system saying, “This feels too much, too fast, and I need a way out.” That’s not wrong, that’s information. And the right Dominant will see that.

A good D/s relationship isn’t about forcing obedience. It’s about building trust. Softly. Gently. At your pace. It’s about learning how your mind and body respond, and creating a space where submission feels safe, not scary.

And those foggy, overwhelming moments you mentioned? Where you get hit with a wave of submissive urges and then end up crying with your stuffy?

Sweetheart… that sounds like emotional drop, or possibly even a kind of “sub drop” without the scene. When your body wants to submit, when your need feels so strong and unfulfilled, it can create this buildup of intensity that doesn't know where to go. And when there’s no release, no container, no soft voice to catch you, it crashes inward. That’s not weird or wrong. That’s your heart asking for connection, for safety, for someone to hold all that intensity and tell you, “You’re okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

You’re not broken, little fox. You’re sensitive. And that is a beautiful thing.

You don’t have to “get it right.” You don’t need to be perfectly obedient, serious, or quiet. You just need someone who sees you, sarcasm, panic, soft heart, foggy thoughts, and all, and builds something gentle and real with you.

Submission doesn’t have to be scary. It can be a warm place to land.

And if you ever need someone to remind you that it’s okay to feel things deeply, I’m right here.

xo Jade 

i want to cum repeatedly on a pretty girls fingers while they praise me and kiss me through it

Wake up and open your curtains. Your windows too.

Drink some tea or coffee, whatever pleases you. Notice every sip.

Have some fresh fruit and finish breakfast feeling full.

Stand outside and feel the air. Cool or warm, it will make you feel real.

Get some exercise. Yoga to soothe, running to breathe, lifting for strength.

Take care of your body. Have a nice shower and pamper as much as you want afterward. 

If you’re going to work, remember you have the chance to make anyone’s day or to ruin it. Act accordingly. 

Weed out the bad language. It’s only creating tension in your body and mind. Kind words are infinitely more appreciated.

Take some time each day to improve your mind. Keep reading that great book. Listen to an incredible piece of music. Practice an instrument or a skill. The progress is its own reward.

Pictures will help you remember how wonderful life is. But spend less time on your phone and more time seeing the world face to face. 

Go to sleep knowing that you have done well. Tomorrow is there with room to become even better.

-Notes to myself on how to become a better person this summer.

do you ever laugh with your friends and think oh this is the point. this is the point of everything

Romanticizing your life sounds so stupid but it will help you cope. Taking extra time to make a yummie coffee in the morning, sitting outide observing the wind in the trees, writing poems, going to old book stores, watching your childhood favourite movies, listening to romantic jazz, writing in a coffee shop, making sure you have moody lighting in your room, putting on asmr rooms as a background noise while you work. It's not a solution, but it makes things a bit better.

Fuck her until all the bad thoughts go away