Hi Sweet Angels,

Your theme is fye

thank you, lovely!!!! i finally figured how to get colored text yay

TRASHY 2000’S PATRICK ZWEIG HEADCANONS

pairing: trashy2000’s!patrick zweig x reader (f!implied)

warning: sexual content, oral fixation + implied oral sex, dry humping, marking, casual substance use, questionable hygiene habits. MDNI

⟡ his room smells like a violent cocktail of weed, cheap deodorant, sweat, and whatever microwaved shit he ate at 2am. probably totino’s pizza rolls, or a burnt grilled cheese sandwich. there’s a stale open mountain dew on the nightstand. it’s been there for days.

⟡ will 100% play video games with your legs across his lap, absentmindedly tracing circles on your calf while yelling at the screen. “you’re a fucking idiot. no, no, not you. the character. unless you’re into it.”

⟡ bites. like, actual biting. shoulder, neck, inner thigh. leaves marks and smirks about it the next day. “oops.”

⟡ you wake up to find him staring at you sometimes. not creepy. just soft. blinking real slow, like he doesn’t believe you’re real. “you’re pretty,” he mumbles, voice thick with sleep. “like…like real-life pretty. not just ‘i like you’ pretty.”

⟡ he kisses like he means it—messy, desperate, always with a little tongue and too much breath. like he thinks he’ll never get to do it again.

⟡ every now and then, he says something stupidly sincere like “y’know, you’re the only thing in my life that doesn’t suck” and then immediately throws a cheeto at your face to ruin the moment.

⟡ plays old bootleg burned CDs of limp bizkit, breaking benjamin, and early muse. he still calls mp3 players “those tiny ipod things.” he doesn’t trust streaming services. says they’re “too clean.”

⟡ he has zero boundaries when he’s in love. sticks his cold feet under your thighs. eats off your plate without asking. chews your gum after you spit it out. “it’s romantic,” he insists, already popping it between his teeth.

⟡ can fix anything with duct tape and a bent butter knife. you don’t ask how he knows this. he once got a broken dvd player to work using a safety pin and a guitar pick.

⟡ lives on energy drinks and bagel bites. once you watched him eat cold pizza at 7am and wash it down with monster and he just shrugged like it was fine.

⟡ has a soft spot for you but tries to hide it behind constant teasing. “you’re wearing that?” followed by “nah, you look hot. don’t let it go to your head.”

⟡ he’s loud during sex. whiny, growling, panting. curses a lot. grunts “fuckfuckfuckfuck” when you ride him. moans into your neck like he’s scared of being alone. sometimes you don’t even fuck—he just wants to grind up under you, your weight pressing him into the mattress like gravity is a comfort.

⟡ doesn’t sleep much. not cause he’s an insomniac, just cause he always forgets. plays tony hawk pro skater 3 till sunrise, then crawls into bed with his arms around your waist, muttering “i’ll sleep better if you stay.”

⟡ has the worst oral fixation you’ve ever seen. he chews pen caps until they’re mangled, always has a sucker in his mouth (blue raspberry to match his tongue), and if you’re laying in his lap while he’s watching tv, he’ll slowly guide your fingers into his mouth and suck on them like it’s nothing. like it’s just another habit. if you shift your hips even a little while you’re grinding on him, he groans into your palm, eyes half-lidded, and lets your index finger drag across his tongue like he’s starving for it.

⟡ he’s the type of guy who watches donnie darko on loop and pretends it’s for the cinematography. absolutely convinced he gets it on a level no one else does. “this movie’s about me,” he says, half-joking. “you’re not allowed to date anyone who doesn’t like it.” he 100% had a frank the rabbit poster on his wall for years.

⟡ his idea of a date is going to a laundromat at 1am, splitting a slushie from 7/11, and making out in the detergent aisle. you’re sitting in the spinning dryer drum and he’s got his head between your legs. “just five minutes,” he says. you stay there until the sun rises.

⟡ won’t admit it but he loves it when you brush his hair. especially when he’s lying with his head in your lap. makes this quiet humming sound, eyelids fluttering like a sleepy cat. if you stop, he whines. literally whines.

⟡ he picks up little things for you constantly. a soda you like. a broken charm off a keychain. a gas station sticker. gives them to you like treasure. like, “this is trash, but it made me think of you.” you keep them all in a drawer.

⟡ never remembers to charge his phone. it’s always at 3%, held together by tape, and missing the back panel. but he keeps a photo of you as his background. not one where you look nice. one where you’re eating chips in bed with crumbs all over your shirt. he says it’s his favorite.

guys i’m curious—what do you guys want to see? more fics? more bots? fics or bots from a certain fandom? specific tropes? let me know 😇😇 send in an ask don’t be shy

this bot is my favorite one on the whole app.

OMG???????????

also it's crazy the way everyone tries to act like patrick is solely a dom!top! when this is lit patrick

like yeah he's switchy but this is a brat. to me.

retweet. do i think he can dom and rail the shit out of you?? yes. is he the biggest brat to ever walk the earth?? ALSO YES

like the way he literally drags her fingers into his mouth... fuck !!!

slapping spitting choking. all of it. wants you to yank his hair and force him to make eye contact as you sink down onto him. hands obediently curled into fists by his sides bc you said he couldn't touch you until you got off first. "c'mon, harder. you're slapping like a girl. can barely even feel it" when you hit him. 'accidentally loses count' of how many just to prolong the entire thing. completely shameless about wearing the red brand on his cheek afterwards

or him acting up just to get a rise out of you. like you're in the middle of studying n just letting him toy with your fingers to shut him up for once. except he just ends up sliding them into his warm mouth, coating them in saliva and biting down on your knuckles. gives an innocent smile as he starts to pump them in and out, tongue circling keenly around your digits. he takes them all the way down to the second knuckle without so much as a gag. he's bored and just wants to get fucked!! n he knows the sight of drool spilling down his chin and your fingers curled in his mouth will get him what he wants.

definitely antagonises the shit out of you while he's getting pegged. "that all you got?" "i can feel you getting tired. y'giving up that easily?" his idea of a good time is you smothering his face in your pillows to shut him up, ass in the air and legs trembling under your spitefully rough thrusts. or the way he hooks his legs around art to pull him closer in the gif?? like ugh strong thighs urging him deeper, heels pressed into his ass to force him to bottom out. trying to sound smug but he's whining like a little bitch. he might be bottoming but he certainly doesn't act like it !!!

idk i think he just likes the game of "fighting for power." he knows it'll end w you riding him until he's begging to cum but he wouldn't be patrick if he wasn't difficult first. it's hotter to watch you get all pissed at him. put that little slut in his place

also he was Not joking ab the racket fucking thing. he'd let her do it. in fact he'd beg her to

wait… what do you mean 200 followers… (⊙_⊙;)

i literally just hit 100 on may 8th… it’s may 15th… you guys are unwell (affectionate) and i love you so much for it. i truly don’t have the words to explain how much this little blog has meant to me lately. i’ve been going through kind of a rough patch irl and being able to come home, open my phone, and just giggle, kick my feet, and scream about challengers and other nonsense with you all has been the brightest part of my days.

you’re all so funny and sweet and completely unhinged in the most delightful ways and i feel so lucky to have found this weird little corner of the internet where we can be so unserious together. (｡•́‿•̀｡)♡

i don’t have anything special planned for 200 because. well. i literally just did for 100 like a week ago LMAO but!! my sfw/nsfw alphabet challenge is still running until the end of may so if you haven’t sent in a letter yet… consider this your official invitation (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

thank you, seriously, from the bottom of my sleep-deprived, fic-addled heart. you’ve made such a weird, hard time in my life feel a little softer. ily. mwah.

Elowyn is such a gorgeous name wow. It reminds me of the name Éowyn, like the Lord of the Rings character.

thank you so much!! i just googled her and shes gorgeous ❤️

idk how you manage to make porn sound beautiful your writing is sooo good,, could i request D from the nsfw alphabet for carmy??🙏🙏🌸 please and thank you

😭😭 thank you so much, this is seriously such high praise! i’ve definitely spent a lot of time honing my craft, so i’m happy that it’s paying off! now, enjoy getting let in on carmy’s dirty little secret…

d is for dirty secret | carmen berzatto

warnings: explicit sex, degradation (consensual), emotional vulnerability, power dynamics, aftercare, past trauma mention (work-related stress), crying, dom/sub elements

tags: @destinedtobegigi, @pittsick, @bambiangels, @talsorchard, @angeldoll1e, @itachisank, @tennisprincess, @lexiiscorect, @esotericgirlwannabe, @lovefaist, @won-every-lottery, @zionna

It doesn’t come out easily. Nothing ever does with Carmy—not the good things, not the soft things, and definitely not this. He’s too guarded, too clenched behind the ribcage he built out of guilt and grief and sharp-edged expectations. Sex, for him, was always something that existed in theory. He’d had it, sure. Here and there, quick and forgettable. Mostly desperate. Never deep. Never slow. Never safe. And never like this—with someone patient enough to wait for the real him to come out, for the parts he doesn’t understand, the ones he’s afraid to want.

It starts one night with him restless beneath you, half-sweaty, half-high from the way your mouth had ruined him earlier, his chest rising sharp and fast like it always does when his brain’s spinning. You’re curled over him, sticky from his come, his hands still trembling a little on your waist. And you whisper it again—what you’ve been asking for days now, soft and coaxing at the seam of his ear.

“Tell me what you want.”

He’d brushed it off every time. With a shrug. A scoff. A smile so fake it could’ve been carved out of soap. But now, with his body unraveled under you and his walls cracked just wide enough to bleed, he gives you something real.

It’s barely a whisper.

The kind of truth that feels like it might fall apart if he says it any louder.

“I want you to… talk down to me,” he breathes, like he hates himself for saying it. Like the words are burning their way up his throat.

You don’t react at first. You don’t laugh, or blink, or flinch—and that’s what keeps him from shutting down. Just you, breathing steady, still wrapped around him like warmth itself. Your hand rests flat over his ribs, right where his heart stutters like a wounded animal. You feel it when he says the next part, even softer.

“Like, really mean. Tell me I’m fucking lucky. That I don’t deserve it.” He closes his eyes, shame flickering behind his lashes. “Tell me I’m not good at it. That my dick’s big but I don’t know how to use it. Just—fuck with me. I want that. I think.”

There’s silence between you for a beat. A long one. Weighted like a decision.

You kiss the underside of his jaw, gentle, slow. Your voice stays low, careful, reverent in a way that makes him shiver.

“Okay,” you murmur. “Why?”

He turns his head, eyes still shut. His breath catches. Like he’s scared you’ll ask, and even more scared you won’t.

“I used to get screamed at every day,” he says. “New York kitchens. Every service. Every fucking hour. About things I couldn’t fix. About things that weren’t my fault. I’d throw up before shifts sometimes. Wake up with my heart pounding so hard I couldn’t breathe. And no one gave a shit. You just kept your head down. You took it. Or you left.”

He swallows.

“But when you do it—when you say those things—I’m not alone in it. I’m not scared. You still want me. You’re still inside me, on me, with me… whatever. I can take it. It makes it feel like… power, I guess. Like I get to choose it, this time.”

The words bleed into the dark between you, soft and aching. He’s not looking at you, not even now. He’s never looked so open and so closed at once—shoulders tense, jaw sharp, but his chest… wide open. Exposed. Like a wound that stopped bleeding and never learned to scar.

You take your time before responding. You run your thumb over the ridge of his hip, feel the tremor in his leg as your palm drags down the muscle of his thigh. He’s still half-hard. The confession didn’t scare his body like it scared his voice.

“Okay,” you say again, slow and deliberate. “I’ll say whatever you want. I’ll be so fucking mean.”

He groans at that, almost involuntarily. His cock twitches between you, already starting to swell.

“But I want you to listen, too,” you add, leaning in, brushing your mouth over the corner of his. “When it’s over. When I say the other stuff. The real stuff. You gonna be able to do that, Carmen?”

His eyes open finally. Wide. Blue. Fragile.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “I want that, too.”

So you rise to your knees over him, slow and deliberate, watching the way his gaze trails up the length of your body like it’s a prayer he doesn’t know the words to. He’s beautiful in this light—hair a mess of curls, collarbones sharp and flushed, chest still marked where you bit him earlier. He doesn’t look away when you reach down and wrap your hand around him again.

He’s thick in your palm. Heavy, flushed pink with arousal, veins standing out with the blood rushing under his skin. His head tips back again as you stroke him, your thumb grazing the slit—wet, slick, leaking already like the need never really left him.

“Fuck,” he gasps. “Please.”

“You are lucky,” you say, your voice sharpening just a little, steel under silk. “You don’t even know how fucking lucky you are, do you?”

His eyes flutter. He pants.

“You get to fuck me, Berzatto. And you don’t even know what you’re doing. All this dick and no clue how to use it.”

He moans. Loud. Desperate. You climb over him again, press the thick head of him against your entrance and watch him come undone.

“God, look at you,” you murmur as you sink down onto him—inch by inch, slow and merciless. “Already losing it. Haven’t even started.”

And he hasn’t. His hands clutch your hips like you’re a lifeline, his chest arched up into yours, breath wild and broken as you bottom out.

You see it in his face—this release of something deeper than lust. Like shame being peeled off layer by layer. Like trauma being rewired by pleasure so sharp it makes him cry out. You ride him slow at first, but the way he bucks up into you, the helpless noises—he’s not going to last. He’s not meant to.

You lean in, fingers gripping his jaw. Your mouth close to his ear.

“Bet they made you feel small, didn’t they?” you hiss. “Made you feel like you weren’t worth shit.” He nods, choked, undone.

“Well now I’m making you feel like that. And you’re fucking hard for it.”

He shouts, hips jerking helplessly under you, his whole body convulsing with the force of it.

“That’s it, baby. Fucking take it.”

And he does. With everything he’s got.

You don’t slow down. You don’t stop—not when he’s this far gone. Not when his eyes are rolling back, not when his jaw’s gone slack and his hands are pawing blindly at your hips like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. His cock is twitching deep inside you, thick and swollen, pulsing like it’s too much for him to hold in. Like he’s going to break apart and you’re the only thing keeping him from floating off the bed entirely.

“You feel that?” you whisper, dragging your hips up and slamming back down—hard enough to knock a sharp gasp out of him. “That’s me doing the work. Not you. You just get to lie there like a good little fucktoy and take it.”

His breath shudders. You can see the way the words hit him—low and deep and hot, turning something in his chest inside out.

His mouth opens, tries to form a sound, but nothing comes out. Just a gasp, a moan, something wrecked. You lean down, mouth against the sweat-damp skin of his neck.

“I could get off on this cock without you even doing a single thing,” you murmur, voice sharp as teeth and sweet as poison. “All that talk about how good you are with your hands, how precise you are in the kitchen—but in bed? You’re fucking useless.”

He groans—full-bodied and helpless. His hands clench on your thighs like he’s in pain, like the pleasure is boiling over and he’s barely holding it in. His face is flushed to his ears, hair stuck to his forehead in damp curls, jaw clenched so tight you can see the muscle twitching.

You grin—slow, dangerous, almost fond.

“Pathetic,” you hiss. “You’re so goddamn pathetic like this, Carmen. You like that, huh? Being used like this? Being told what a worthless little thing you are?”

His whole body jerks. His back arches off the mattress. “Yes—fuck, yes—don’t stop, please don’t—”

You don’t. You fuck him harder. Faster. The wet sounds of your bodies colliding fill the room, slick and obscene. His cock slips so deep inside you it punches little cries out of your throat, but you don’t stop—not when he’s so close, not when you feel his stomach start to tighten and his legs begin to tremble under you.

You bring your hand to his throat—gentle at first, just resting there, just enough pressure to feel his pulse hammering. His eyes flutter open, dazed and desperate. You don’t squeeze—you don’t have to. The look in your eyes alone has him panting like he’s about to die from it.

“You’re gonna come for me again,” you say, low and firm and mean. “You’re gonna come like a desperate little bitch because I said so. Because you’re mine. You hear me?”

“Yes,” he gasps. “Please, I—fuck, I’m—”

You slam down on him one more time, and that’s it. His mouth falls open around a silent cry and he comes—hard. Harder than before. Harder than he’s ever come in his life. His whole body seizes beneath you, thighs clenching, spine bowing, his cock kicking deep inside you as he fills you with it—hot and pulsing and endless.

He doesn’t make a sound at first. Just trembles. Just holds on like he’ll die if he lets go. His eyes are glassy, unfocused, wet at the corners like he’s short-circuited, like whatever he just felt was too much to process in real time.

When it finally passes—when the shock stops rolling through his nerves and his body goes soft beneath you—he blinks up at you like he forgot how to speak.

You pull off him slowly, carefully, your thighs trembling as you settle next to him. He’s a mess—chest heaving, sweat gleaming on his skin, hair ruined, come smeared across both your thighs. You reach for a towel and gently wipe him clean, pressing kisses to his jaw, his temple, the corners of his mouth.

He swallows hard. Blinks. Still not quite there yet. You drag your fingers through his curls and wait.

“You okay?” you whisper, soft again. Stripped of cruelty. Honest.

He nods, dazed. “Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, I just—” He lets out a long breath, like something that’s been stuck in him for years finally dislodged. “That was… insane. I didn’t even know I could feel that much.”

You stroke a thumb under his eye, wipe away the tear you hadn’t pointed out.

“I meant what I said earlier,” you whisper. “You’re not useless. Not even close. You’re so fucking good, Carmen. And I love you.”

His eyes cut to yours then, sharp and clear, and he smiles—small and warm and real.

“I know,” he murmurs. “You’re sweet.” He leans in, kisses you lazy and slow, tongue dragging against yours like a man drunk on want. Then he laughs, rough and low. “But goddamn, you look so hot when you’re mean.”

You grin against his mouth.

“Lucky for you,” you whisper, “I love being mean to you.”

And from the look in his eyes—hungry, wide, reverent—he knows you mean it.

need mike faist in some sort of period piece drama/romance like i need water and oxygen. i literally had a dream about him candlelit in a poet blouse confessing his undying love for me last night. woke up and cried a little 💔

ֹ ⑅᜔ ׄ ݊ ݂ BOT RELEASE ۪ ֹ ᮫

BREAKFAST FOR THE BROKEN, the morning after mikey’s funeral, carmen wakes up on the couch to the smell of butter and thyme. his apartment is quiet in that hollow way grief makes everything sound quieter, and you’re standing in his kitchen cooking eggs in the pan he never put away. he doesn’t say anything when he first sees you. just stands there, watching, like he doesn’t know if he’s still dreaming.