Sonic Says

One of the weird things about having multiple types of hallucinogenic disorders (in this case schizophrenia and sleep paralysis) is that I have one single hallucination that crosses between the 2. Like it doesn’t do anything unless its during a sleep paralysis episode but sometimes it’s there even when I’m not “asleep”.

Like when it’s a paralysis thing it like crawls on my ceiling, hangs down every so often, growls/clicks, and just kinda acts like a giant spider with only 4 legs. But when it’s just a schizophrenia thing it just kinda “sits” upside down in the corner of my room staring. It’s not there all the time but sometimes it is.

And there isn’t even like a connection between seeing it paralyzed vs phsycotic. Like if this was a fucking tv show or something it would be like “oh if I see it during the day it means I’m gonna have sleep paralysis tonight” or some shit like that but it’s really just random.

(Picture below the cut that I drew of it during my most recent manic episode)

Everybody always so bold when dunking from the other parallel dimension 😔

"Redraw tumblr post" time of the year again, based on this one specifically that i found weeks ago but I needed to do something with it hfgjdh (with the original post being on tiktok). I just love canon Blaze being absolutely ass at cooking💜

My girlfriend doesn’t remember this but the way we started dating is quite literally an enamies to friend to lovers pipeline.

Said pipeline goes as follows

In 6th grade math class we had to do an assignment with a partner and my favorite person happened to be in that class so obviously I was gonna pair up with her, but she had decided to do it with somebody else instead. My autistic 11 year old self thought of this as a rejection and so I didn’t bother trying to find somebody else to partner up with.

Well doing the assignment myself wasn’t an option for some reason so the teacher tried to pair me up with the only other kid that didn’t have a partner. But because this person wasn’t me favorite person I couldn’t work with them. So I threw a fit and was sent to the little side room that the classroom had to fill out a “green sheet” (basically a behavior sheet).

So I did that and then sulked under the table because what else was I to do. About half way through the class the teacher being the kid in with the paper and leaves us to it. Despite how much I hated it I worked with my now mortal enemy (at least in my mind) to complete the paper. At the end of class we leave and go about our lives (and the teacher ripped up the green sheet so like what was even the point of having me do it wtf miss Gardner)

I ignore the kid in the halls because I am incapable of letting go of anything and for some reason I saw the fact that the teacher forced us to work together as their fault. Covid hits, school closes, Covid more or less ends, school reopens and the kid is in my choir class.

Time has passed so I’m more or less Indifferent to their existence in my space. My friends become friends with them tho so over the course of a month or so I become friends with them. Then in November my boyfriend at the time tells me that my now girlfriend has a crush on me. My bf was poly and so our relationship was kind of an open deal so after class I decided to ask the person about it.

WELL APPARENTLY WHILE I HAD MY HEADPHONES IN BEFORE TALKING TO THEM ABOUT IT THEY STRAIGHT CONFESSED TO ME AND I JUST DIDNT HEAR IT. SO HERE I AM LIKE AN ASSHOLE LIKE A MINUTE AFTERWARDS GOING “hey so, Kodi said you have a crush on me. Is that true?” AND THIS ABSOLUTE SAINT JUST GOES “yeah. I just told you that”

So anyways like the idiot who didn’t know I was aromantic yet I was at the time I asked them if they wanted to date. They say yes, we start dating, a year later she tells me she’s trans, nada bing bada boom I have a girlfriend with a gorgeous flower name (Dahlia), she has a fucking idiot as a partner and life’s all good.

Then I decided to tell my best friend (the favorite person from 6th grade the worked with somebody else forcing me to work with my now gf [thanks Janie couldn’t have done it without you]) about the whole story and this mf says “oh so like real life enemies to lovers. Your love story is a fanfic trope”.

And oh my god.

I both hate and love that fact with all my heart

(Dahlia my love if you see this I’m sorry I was such a cunt in 6th grade)

y’all my friend decided to investigate what was blocking their drain system and you are not prepared for the answer

I'm scared.

*cocks sub machine gun like its a shotgun*

(familial/platonic) more sketches of shadow integrating into the fam🫶🏽

it may take me a month to put out a chapter but at least im not using ai to write it.

it may take me a month to put out a chapter but at least im not using ai to write it.

it may take me a month to put out a chapter but at least im not using ai to write it.

it may take me a month to put out a chapter but at least im not using ai to write it.

it may take me a month to put out a chapter but at least im not using ai to write it.

IT MAY TAKE ME A MONTH TO PUT OUT A CHAPTER BUT AT LEAST IM NOT USING AI TO WRITE IT