Time Of Year I Remind Every Cane User To Get An Ice Pick So You Dont Fall And Die

Visibly Disabled Nonexistence

[ Plain text: Visibly Disabled Nonexistence ]

Visibly disabled people don’t exist. We don’t get that privilege. 

We are our aids. Our deformities. Our movements that don’t match abled expectations. We are our weird noises and our inability to speak. We are medical and gross and nonhuman. We are disabled. We are not people.

We get asked about our private, personal medical information and we are to share the correct amount at all times. The correct amount is enough to satiate abled curiosity but not so much that it makes them uncomfortable. We are not to complain. We have nothing to complain about. Because we are not people.

We are fictional characters that make abled people remember how lucky they are. They would kill themselves if they were us. But they are not us. They will never be us. Because we are not people.

We cannot be happy, because we are disabled. And disability is tragic. We cannot be sad, because we’re not immediately dying. And when we’re immediately dying, that’s okay. Because we are not people.

We have to work or be in the hospital getting treatment at all times. If our lives aren’t for money, we shouldn’t exist. We don’t exist anyway. We are fictional characters. We are not people.

Our lives are simply stories made to tell children to behave. You don’t want to end up like that filthy cripple do you? You’re only a cripple when you misbehave. Because behaving makes you human. And we are not human.

We don’t exist. We are nonexistent, ungendered, unsexual disableds. We are stories. We are our disabilities first and ourselves never. Because we are not people.

Yet another reminder that faking is a conscious choice that you make.

It is not something you can do accidentally, regards of what you're talking about.

You can't accidentally fake depression, or anxiety, or bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, or any other mental illness.

You can't accidentally fake Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, personality disorders.

You can't accidentally fake ADHD, autism, Tourette's Syndrome, auditory processing disorder, aphasia or any other neurodivergence

You can't accidentally fake being trans or ace-spec or aro-spec or any other LGBTQIA+ identity.

You can't accidentally fake chronic illnesses like CFS, fibromyalgia or any chronic illness.

You also can't accidentally fake being good/intelligent at something. You didn't fool your peers into reaching your position.

You can't accidentally fake trauma, PTSD/cPTSD, DID/OSDD/DDNOS or any other trauma-based disorder.

Tldr:

Faking is a conscious choice.

You cannot do it by accident.

If you are worried that you are faking, that in itself is proof that you are not.

the only life advice i feel equipped to give:

when you’re young u can only romanticize your pain and hurt for so long. one day you’re going to realize u have to stop sabotaging yourself by assuming your hurt is all that makes you. you have to consider all your good qualities. that u are a bright and creative person who might’ve been dealt a bad hand, and all u can control is how you treat yourself. you have to be kind to yourself to survive. you have to let go of that impulse to treat yourself poorly because u think u deserve it. forgive yourself for whatever makes you feel like you don’t deserve the same love and care as everyone else. please.

From friends and family, to doctors, and strangers: disabled people have to face judgement, disbelief and hurtful comments. But guess what? There are so many more disabled people in the world than you realise, in fact many of us try to fake being well, because of the stigma and judgement surrounding disability.

Faking disability and illlness is rare. The 1 in 4 disabled people in the world are not rare. So next time you think about questioning someone's disability - don't. That's all.

I finally got the tattoo I've wanted for years😁 so I always have an extra spoon for bad days🥄

Went on a date and they were like "I'm sorry you're disabled". My first thought was to get frustrated or feel patronised, but, that doesn't get us anywhere. So i thought about it and tempered my reaction, and what I came to was this: they're sad, but I'm not!

I understand the impulse to feel bad about my life situation. I get it. It sucks. Like objectively. It bums me out too sometimes.

But im not sorry I'm disabled, I'm happy I'm alive! Im happy with disability, not in spite of it. It's a part of my life. I can no more be miserable about my disability than I can be about getting a bad haircut. It's a part of me and I can either live with it, or I can suffer. If those are my options i choose live with it. Its really that simple and drastic.

Disability means pain, yes, but pain does not mean suffering. I am in pain every day of my life, but I do not suffer. How does that work? I live my life. I live! Isn't that wonderful? I am alive and I have a good, privileged life! I have friends. I have community. I have family. I have passions. So long as i can find the good, I am not focused on my pain, and if i am not focused on my pain it cannot consume me, and if it cannot consume me then I cannot suffer.

My disability is just another thing that is part of me. I don't look at what I can't do. I look at what I want to do, and I find a way to get there.

My life looks different from an able bodied person's life. It just does, and it always will. It's going to be different. I can either embrace it, or I can be miserable. I can either live with it or i can suffer.

I choose to embrace it. I choose to live with it.

It wasn't easy to do so, don't get me wrong. I was miserable for such a long time. I wanted to die; I wanted to die so badly. I thought there was no worth in my life and that I'd never be worth anything. But that's not true.

My life is beautiful. It's not exactly what i wanted for myself, and yeah, if i could wave a magic wand and be in a perfect body... I wouldnt even hesitate to take that option. But that's not gonna happen. So i look at what I have, and I'm so grateful to have it in the first place.

I could be so much worse off. Im fortunate. Im lucky. Im an immigrant success story. I live in a better land. Im happy here. Im well integrated. This place is my home. My country looks after me. I dont want for food. I dont want for shelter. Thats amazing. So if I can look at the little things that im grateful for and build from there...

I dont have all the abilities i want. I will never have everything I want, no matter how simple it may seem. So instead, I will be grateful for what I do have.

Im not sorry i'm im a wheelchair! Im happy! How many people in the world dont have a wheelchair who need one? Im fortunate to have one. My wheelchair is freedom. My world opened up when i got my wheelchair the same way it did when i got my licence.

My life may be sad to you, but its not sad to me. And if its not sad to me, then its not sad! You dont have to feel sad for someones disability. I think its natural to want them to be able to do the same things you can, or to achieve the same things you can. I think you should foster that desire into finding ways to help bridge the gap between what someone can do and what they cant. Access is how you bridge that gap.

Feeling sad for someone with disability is a natural empathetic response. I think its wrong to shame people for it, but it is worth it to redirect their thinking. They are sad for me, but its because they can only see limits. But disability isnt about seeing limits, its about finding out how to move past them.

My life might look sad to you, but you dont know what i can do. You dont know how far ive come. You dont know what my life looks like beyond my disability because you've never been shown that. Its not a story thats told. And i dont mind showing you that theres more to my story than what i cant do.

So, i dont mind if someone tells me theyre sorry im in a wheelchair. Im not. Lets get past that impulse of empathy, and have a real conversation. Because you'll see that i'm not sad. I have a rich life and im happy. Once you can see all that joy, the wheelchair becomes secondary. Of course i'm happy, my life is good.

The wheelchair. The disability. Its set dressing. Its the stage my life takes place on. We cant ignore it. Its there. But it is not so big that it robs goodness from my world.

Am I happy about having my disability? No. But I'm not sad about it. Not anymore.

And that is going to be true about any other disabled person you meet. We dont need pity, because our lives dont warrant it. We dont need you to feel bad for us, because there is no need to feel bad. Its just life. Thats how it goes sometimes.

Once a disabled person's hit the acceptance stage, there's really no need to offer them your sympathies anymore. Be happy with them in their life, however that looks.

I love Switzerland’s entry so much