Grey--scales - Nikki

Cass is out on patrol and sees Polka Dot Man trying to rob a Dollar General. After she shoos him away, she wanders down an aisle and soon finds the most absurd item in the store.

Cass, in full costume, approaching the cashier: How much?

Paul the Cashier, a fifty year old man who has been working night shifts in Gotham for over thirty years: Just take it. Christ.

—

Later that week:

Tim, stepping into the shower, sees this peeking out at him from behind his shampoo:

Tim: …okay

Tim, texting Cass: Did you give me a Rainbow Batman?

Cass: Pass along the Rainbow Batman for good luck

—

Jason, returning to his safe house after a long night, opens the fridge and sees Rainbow Batman standing knee-deep in his potato salad.

Jason: fuck is this

Tim, texting him seconds later: Pass along Rainbow Batman for good luck.

—

Over the next few months, Rainbow Batman circulates its way around most of the Bat-team. It bounces from Jason to Dick to Damian to Steph. Eventually it gets to Duke, who is tasked with presenting it to Bruce. He waits until Bruce is in a decent mood, then puts it on the driver’s seat of the Batmobile one night as they are all wrapping up a case.

Bruce, opening the Batmobile door: —thank you for your help, Dick. I know you’ve been busy. And Duke, I appreciate you altering your schedule for us. Steph, your intel was excellent. I’m very pleased with the outcome of this mission. You all managed to keep the insubordination at a tolerable level.

Jason, whispering to Dick: Damn, two thank-yous, a compliment, and only one passive-aggressive comment? Did he get laid or something?

Bruce, spotting the Rainbow Batman: I…

Bruce:

Bruce: This??

Bruce: Is this…

Duke, about to explain: Cass found it—

Bruce, clearly trying to process something, blurts out: Is this your way of telling me you all know about Clark?

Everyone:

Jason: called it

stephanie brown is worth any wrist pain <3

we agree that bernard has contributed to at least half of the dcu’s “third robin x reader” fics right??

Jason comes back to life but instead of the Pit being rage, it travels with him as a very murderous but also slightly helpful voice in his head. (A lá Venom)

Pit: kill Tim.

Jason: No. We don’t do that anymore.

Pit: … kill for Tim?

Jason: Sure. I can get on board with that.

———

Pit: Drink water!

Jason: I’m busy.

Pit: You have not drank water in 6 hours and 42 minutes. Drink water!!

Jason: ugh. Fine.

———

Pit: Death. Death comes. Death comes to those who dare be insolent before us.

Jason: No.

Pit: Yessssss… let us eat our enemies.

Jason: omg NO. We are not eating Dick because he stole a cookie.

Pit: You are weak. You are a coward. Let us tear the cookie from his innards.

Jason: No. Remember how we stopped eviscerating two months ago. Dick is keeping his intestines just the way they are.

Dick: I’m sorry, but what?

the only thing you need to know about the batman movie is that this bruce is dumb enough, emo enough, and guilty enough to adopt an acrobatic orphan and think it’s absolutely the right decision

Pale | Art

art journal

my piece from the Gotham City Unmasked Fanbook!

Photosynthesis - Alexandra Levasseur