ʚɞ Gojo Satoru Fic Recommendations ʚɞ

ʚɞ Gojo Satoru Fic Recommendations ʚɞ

ʚɞ Gojo Satoru Fic Recommendations ʚɞ

Forever Yours

J’adore

Scars don’t fade

August

Sincerely Not

Sincerely Yours

Everyone’s Doll

Missed Connection

Confessions

Confidential

Violet Lights

Starboy

The Twist of a Knife

A Dangerous Game

Fate’s Gamble

All I Need

Baby Steps

Finite

Sensual Epiphany

Two Lines

Changes

Infidelity

The Fuck List

In Other Words, I Love You (Dead Dove: Do Not Eat)

Permanent Mark

Sundered

Kick Off

The Unfaithful

I Still Want You

Untameable Waves (please come back)

ʚɞ Gojo Satoru Fic Recommendations ʚɞ

More Posts from Hanmapolo and Others

3 years ago
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMEON!!!✨🎆🎊🎉✨💓 I Love This Angel Sm I'm Crying

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMEON!!!✨🎆🎊🎉✨💓 I love this angel sm I'm crying

Background clouds by dearest sibling @webtail!!!! I told you I'd use it!!!

3 years ago

not to be basic but 😳 do you have any thoughts on the demon brothers courting MC? Like any specific Devildom culture aspects that come into play? (Maybe something SUPER important that MC writes off as “oh huh. wonder why my ~friend~ is all nervous today”.) wink wink romantic demon tension wink wink.

Apologies for the long wait on this but YES, we love thinking about Devildom culture(s) and possible traditions, and courting ones are certainly fun to imagine!

We've come up with a handful here (plus a special bonus at the end), so we hope you enjoy them!!

(You can see a follow-up of mini-stories with the characters we missed here!)

DEVILDOM COURTING

Not To Be Basic But 😳 Do You Have Any Thoughts On The Demon Brothers Courting MC? Like Any Specific

Sharing Bloodseed Fruit

There are a few different kinds of fruits in the Devildom that can have romantic meanings when shared with someone you're interested in.

Bloodseed fruits, which vaguely resemble human-world dragonfruits on the outside and pomegranates on the inside, are the most popular of these by far.

The number of seeds you each eat is meant to be representative of how long you will stay in love with one another.

The average bloodseed fruit has around 1,000 seeds in it, with especially large ones able to have up to 1,500 seeds.

Which of course means the demon brothers and royals aren't going to settle for anything less than the largest ones they can possibly find to share with you.

Favored by: Diavolo, Lucifer, Beelzebub

It's not uncommon for Diavolo to invite you over for tea. Today, however, you've scarcely seen any sign of his loyal butler, aside from a single moment where he delivered both tea and a much smaller plate of sweets than usual.

"Does Barbatos have a lot going on today?" you wonder aloud.

"Oh, no," Diavolo laughs. "He's keeping his distance today out of respect for me. You see, I invited you over for...something rather special."

He takes your hand then and places a massive, spiky-looking fruit onto it. "I suppose you wouldn't be familiar with this, but this is a bloodseed fruit. They're rather rare, but we have a legend here in the Devildom that lovers who share one will stay in love for how many seeds they each eat," he explains. "And so, MC...would you do me the honor of sharing this with me?"

Not To Be Basic But 😳 Do You Have Any Thoughts On The Demon Brothers Courting MC? Like Any Specific

Matching Makeup

In the Devildom, there are certain patterns that one paints on their face that are based on their yearnings or desires, or signify something about the wearer.

These looks are usually only worn for special occasions -- and there is one event in particular where if you wear a certain matching makeup look with another, it signifies being together.

The Bacchanal of Illumination is a special time in the Devildom, where a variety of colorful demonic flora bloom and glow with an ethereal light once every few centuries.

Since ancient times, it has been customary to celebrate the three day window in which these flowers bloom with great revelry, parties thrown throughout, and imbibing an intoxicating drink created from the sap found in these flowers from past seasons.

It is considered good luck if a couple finds a flower in these fields the exact shade of the makeup they are wearing, signifying a healthy and long relationship.

Favored by: Lucifer, Asmodeus, Barbatos

"There we go, now we match!" Asmodeus giggles with delight, finishing the last flick of makeup over your cheek before turning you around to his mirror with a flourish. "Let's go show the others, hm, darling?"

You nod enthusiastically, excited to head out for this festival that everyone has been talking about lately. You've hardly taken two steps into the common room, however, before the rest of the brothers alternately gasp and/or pounce on the Avatar of Lust.

"ASMO, WHAT THE FUCK!" Mammon shouts. "Why the fuck does MC have that makeup, you bastard --"

"Because they're mine, of course," Asmo just grins back cheekily, draping himself possessively all over your shoulders. "Should have done it yourself if you wanted them!"

Not To Be Basic But 😳 Do You Have Any Thoughts On The Demon Brothers Courting MC? Like Any Specific

Offering a Passiflora Hellbloom

Purple and white with a crown of barb-like vines around a protruding spike ending in an eye-like orb, these Devildom flowers can look quite bizarre to humans at first glance.

However, if offered to a love interest, they represent passion, affection, sweetness -- and agony, if the recipient refuses it.

You see, giving a single flower of this kind to someone is seen as equivalent to asking them to be in a relationship with you, and accepting the flower is to accept the relationship.

The giver can also cast a spell before giving it, where if accepted, the flower will then actually undergo a second blooming where it sheds the vines, and the spike opens up into a set of brilliant petals.

Favored by: Mammon, Diavolo, Leviathan

"Ahhhh, that was fun!" you exclaim with a stretch, ready to head to bed after a long night of gaming with Leviathan. "It's late though, I should probably get to sleep. Good night, Levi!"

"A-a-ah, MC, wait!!" he calls out to you just before you reach his door, his voice unintentionally almost a shout with nervousness. "Wait, I have something for you." He pulls a long, thin stem of a bizarre-looking flower from somewhere in his room and thrusts it towards you.

"Oh, what a...nice flower," you smile politely, taking it from his hands.

"Y-you'll really take it?! I know you probably don't want this from me, but you'll really accept it?" His words are gushing out with excitement.

In his excitement, sadly, he forgets to tell you what the flower actually means. But Asmo will be sure to tell you when he sees it in your room tomorrow.

Not To Be Basic But 😳 Do You Have Any Thoughts On The Demon Brothers Courting MC? Like Any Specific

Passing a Red Candle

Candles can often be symbolic in magic, and the Devildom is no exception.

Red candles, in particular, are known for representing the fire of love and passion.

For this reason, when a demon gives someone a red candle, it's akin to a confession -- essentially, they are "giving the fire of their love" to another.

The House of Lamentation, by the way, has a lot of red candles that just happen to be sitting around all the time...

Favored by: Lucifer, Leviathan, Satan

"Oh, Lucifer, perfect timing," you say as he enters the dimly lit library. You quickly thrust the plate of the red candle you were holding into his hands, explaining, "Would you hold this for me for a sec? I'm trying to get this book out, but it's so firmly wedged in here, it's a bit stuck, and I didn't want to put the candle somewhere where it could fall over."

The barest hint of a blush crosses his expression before it's quickly replaced with a mischievous smirk.

"Oh? MC, you ought to be careful who you give a candle like this to in the Devildom," he murmurs, placing a finger under your chin to turn your gaze back to him. "Or I'll have to take this as a sign you mean to surrender yourself to me."

Not To Be Basic But 😳 Do You Have Any Thoughts On The Demon Brothers Courting MC? Like Any Specific

Written Story

For demons, giving someone their grimoire is the ultimate sign of trust, as it is akin to surrendering complete power to that person.

Long ago, demons sometimes actually gifted each other their grimoires as part of marriage ceremonies, though it has generally fallen out of practice at this point.

However, the sentiment of the act is still quite popular, and as a symbolic equivalent, nowadays demons will sometimes write down a story from their life as a gift to their beloved.

Especially popular is for couples to choose a story about each other, such as when they met, a special date, etc.

Favored by: Satan, Belphegor, Barbatos

Come up to the attic, the text you get reads. I have something for you.

Even after everything, it's still one of Belphegor's favorite places to nap. You gently push open the door, half expecting him to already be asleep, but even though he's sitting comfortably on the bed, he's definitely awake and looks uncharacteristically nervous.

"What's up, Belphie?" you ask, taking a seat next to him.

"I told you, I have something for you." He passes you an envelope patterned like the worn cover of an old leather-bound book.

Inside, there's a single slip of paper, with just a short handwritten story describing the night he made the pact with you. You tilt your head at him with some confusion. "Thanks...? It's very sweet, but...what's this for?"

"Trust." A small smile tugs at his mouth, though he himself hardly even notices. "I told you I believe actions speak louder than words, didn't I? So here it is. All of my trust."

Not To Be Basic But 😳 Do You Have Any Thoughts On The Demon Brothers Courting MC? Like Any Specific

Gifted Locket

A much more direct way of courtship, some demons have partaken in the tradition of gifting a locket to their intended partner.

While this might sound rather ordinary on the surface, there is something particularly special about these lockets -- they are imbued with a special, intimate magic.

When one opens the locket, it pulses with the other's heartbeat -- mirroring it in real time.

It also feels warm, as if you are holding the other's hand instead of the locket.

Favored by: Mammon, Beelzebub, Belphegor

Beelzebub has never really been one to particularly fuss about with over-the-top romantic gestures, but with his brothers all fighting over you all the time, he wants to do something to express his feelings to you too.

"I wanted to give this to you," he says sweetly, handing you a lovely red jewelry box.

Inside, you find a beautiful, intricately designed locket, and to your surprise, it quickly warms in your hand when you click it open. And even more surprisingly, it begins pulsing as well.

He holds his hands over yours, mirroring the warmth from the locket. "So you can hold my hand any time you want," he explains with a gentle smile.

"Thank you, Beel. It's wonderful." You rest your head against his chest, feeling how the rhythm of the locket perfectly matches the reassuring, steady beat of his heart.

Not To Be Basic But 😳 Do You Have Any Thoughts On The Demon Brothers Courting MC? Like Any Specific

The Boutonniere's Challenge

At high-class Devildom weddings, it's common practice to serve something called a boutonniere elixir, a special kind of sparkling demonus with a single flower floating atop.

On its own, the drink tastes somewhat plain, much like any other kind of sparkling demonus.

However, if two individuals hold the chalice at the same time, even for just a moment, the cup reacts by warming up to represent the strength of their connection -- the hotter it becomes, the better a match they are.

The demonus inside, in turn, also transforms, lighting up and bubbling over, and becomes infused with the taste of the flower inside.

It is considered incredible good luck for both the pair and the marrying couple when a chalice of boutonniere elixir is spilled from the abrupt searing heat.

However, due to the pain of burning their hands on the goblet, it is often referred to as the "Boutonniere's Challenge."

Favored by: Satan, Asmodeus, Barbatos

"What a beautiful wedding!" you remark, clinking your glass against those of the others around you.

Just then, someone bumps your arm, causing the cup to start to slip from your fingers when one pristine butler quickly rushes to catch it. But, at the sudden feeling of searing heat against your fingertips and blinding light against your eyes, it only serves to make both of you drop it. "Ow!" you cry.

To your utter confusion, this somehow sends a wave of applause rippling through the entire wedding crowd.

With an apologetic smile, Barbatos takes your hand and pulls you towards him, completely ignoring the fallen chalice. "My apologies, MC, I should have been more careful, but it would appear that the cups think we're a good match. Now...let me heal that burn on your fingertips. Perhaps with a kiss?"

Not To Be Basic But 😳 Do You Have Any Thoughts On The Demon Brothers Courting MC? Like Any Specific

BONUS: Ceremonial Proposal Knives

When one wants to propose in the Devildom, they do so with beautiful, intricate ceremonial knives.

At the base of the blade, the proposing demon inscribes their personal sigil on one side and the intended recipient's sigil on the other, making each knife unique to the pair.

The handles, which can be made of various magical materials -- bone, onyx, gold, the wood of a special tree, etc. -- are personalized with engravings.

These engravings can tell a small story, or just be very symbolic of the relationship the involved parties share.

What makes these knives most special of all is that it is customary to infuse a part of oneself into the knife -- whether it be a feather, a scale, their venom, or blood, they are giving a part of themself to you.

If the recipient chooses to accept, the two of them hold hands over the blade, cutting their palms open to form a blood pact in the shared wounds.

The shared blood then seeps into the blade, imbuing it with both their magical energies.


Tags
3 years ago

THE NAME THEY CALL YOU THE MOST - HQ

THE NAME THEY CALL YOU THE MOST - HQ

includes: iwaizumi hajime, suna rintarou, kyoutani kentarou, sakusa kiyoomi, miya osamu, bokuto koutarou, kita shinsuke, tendou satori, hinata shouyou, kenma kozume.

a/n: some time skip mentioned in various scenarios! so very soft and fluffy, but much needed.

THE NAME THEY CALL YOU THE MOST - HQ

IWAIZUMI - it’s such a simple word, yet is somehow the most effective at getting you flustered. hajime’s arms holding you close in the early morning hours, whispering against your forehead as his lips place a soft kiss to the skin. “hi pretty, did you sleep well?”

SUNA - although he tends to save this name for the more quiet moments shared between you two, it’s not uncommon to hear it slip past suna’s lips. always a soft murmur of “cmere bunny, i missed you.” when he returns home from a long day at practice.

KYOUTANI - he's all rough exterior and furrowed brows, this bad boy persona making people shy away from him. but for you? he's got a soft spot, quiet whispers of affirmations being pressed into your skin. his lips rest against your forehead, lingering as he speaks against you. "look at you, doll. you're doing just fine, yeah?"

SAKUSA - in the beginning of your relationship, nicknames were not something he used very often, but on the rare occasion it did occur, he always stuck with a name he felt fit you best. watching as he struggled to get his tie in place, omi huffed when he met your teasing gaze. "can you do this for me? please, sweetheart?"

OSAMU - the phrase is one that rolls right of his tongue, a quick and easy way to remind you that he adores you. your arms rest around his shoulders as his own find their way around your waist. a gentle kiss is placed along your temple, his voice a little raspy as he speaks to you. "you look tired, my love. let's head home, okay?"

BOKUTO - he’s a stickler for all things cute and catchy, so you cant blame him when kou uses a more common name for you. your hip bumps against his as you walk into the kitchen, shuffling your way into his arms as he swipes across his phone screen. “i’m feeling take out for dinner, is that alright babe?”

KITA - you should have expected someone as gentlemanly as kita to use such a soft pet name with you. the cool, air conditioned breeze wafts through the door as he walks into your home. “dove? where are you? i’ve got a surprise i want you to see.”

TENDOU - your actual name is something that hardly makes it past satori's lips, always choosing to use some cutesy form of it or a nickname instead. the ringing of the doorbell brings his attention up from the chocolate mixture setting up in candy trays. "angel! missed me that much you decided to visit? come! try this!"

HINATA - he's never been one to like spending time away from you, so when him and his team have to travel for a game, hinata makes it known that he misses you. your phone is tucked between your ear and shoulder, trying your best to heat up dinner and talk with him. "what are you up to, baby? i just got back to the hotel, tell me everything!"

KENMA - it’s not a name either of you would have thought he’d enjoy saying, yet it’s something he calls you more often than your own name. his voice is muffled from behind his closed door, muting his mic as to not disturb those listening to his stream. “hey bub? can you bring me a snack?”

THE NAME THEY CALL YOU THE MOST - HQ

YVVJI © 2021


Tags
3 years ago

lucifer flicking your forehead when you start blowing bubbles into your drink at mealtimes because “it’s improper” and “you’ll set a bad example for my brothers.”

mammon looking horrified when you burp a little at the table. it’s not because he thinks it’s gross, but because lucifer ties him to the ceiling whenever he does.

leviathan glaring at you when you put your feet on his chair and keep him from getting up. you don’t notice, and he is getting a little more irritated by the second because he wants seconds before beel gets to his fifths.

satan kicking your shins and trying so hard not to laugh when you bring up an inappropriate topic at dinner. you just keep going and he just keeps chortling when everyone else looks so done with you. lucifer is rubbing his temples. you‘re in for it later, mc.

asmo playfully smacking your arm when you start complaining about school. it’s funny, because he‘s acting all cute while the rest of the table looks very worried as lucifer stares you down.

beel vigorously shaking his head when you eat too fast. he can’t blame you, but mc please youre going to get in trouble!

belphie trying to shake you awake when youre nodding off at lunch. if lucifer catches you, who knows what he‘ll do.

3 years ago
Kabedon Compilation ; 7 Brothers
Kabedon Compilation ; 7 Brothers
Kabedon Compilation ; 7 Brothers
Kabedon Compilation ; 7 Brothers
Kabedon Compilation ; 7 Brothers
Kabedon Compilation ; 7 Brothers
Kabedon Compilation ; 7 Brothers

Kabedon Compilation ; 7 Brothers

Diavolo + others

a series of commission for @KimetsuYou on twitter over the past few months, thanks so much! so satisfying to see it all finally lined up yay~ 


Tags
3 years ago

Obey me! Things I'm Constantly thinking about pt. 1

1. The order of the oldest is based on strength

2. Mammon is actually quite strong [makes me wonder just how strong Lucifer must be to overpower him so easily, and how strong Satan must be for being born last and still being considered the 4th oldest...man I could make a whole different post on this]

3. Mammon sleeps naked

Obey Me! Things I'm Constantly Thinking About Pt. 1
Obey Me! Things I'm Constantly Thinking About Pt. 1
Obey Me! Things I'm Constantly Thinking About Pt. 1
Obey Me! Things I'm Constantly Thinking About Pt. 1
Obey Me! Things I'm Constantly Thinking About Pt. 1

[yes this is proof for all three]

4. Asmodeus loves butts

Obey Me! Things I'm Constantly Thinking About Pt. 1

5. Lucifer had a picture of Mammon sleeping on his wallpaper

Obey Me! Things I'm Constantly Thinking About Pt. 1

6. Diavolo is a living lie detector

Obey Me! Things I'm Constantly Thinking About Pt. 1

7. Levi had a pet snake that ran away

Obey Me! Things I'm Constantly Thinking About Pt. 1

8. Lucifer was a beacon of light when he was angel [i don't even want to imagine]

Obey Me! Things I'm Constantly Thinking About Pt. 1


Tags
3 years ago

"I have a story and Lucifer going to kill me for it, but fuck it."

*already getting glared at*

"There was a fire in the kitchen and I ran to tell Lucifer and I burst into his room and saw him with no clothes on."

*instant laughter*

"You saw him naked?!" -Diavolo

"No, he had underwear on. But what was funny was he screamed when I entered."

*Lucifer already gotten up and is approaching them to cover their mouth, but they wiggle pass him and continue telling the story*

"He was getting dressed and the door just burst open out of nowhere it scared him. He immediately covered himself with his blanket on his bed and started yelling at me, but I was too busy laughing in the doorway after hearing him scream."

*the brothers are now protecting them from Lucifer as he getting flustered*

"He threw a shoe at me and told me to leave and I tried to tell him about the fire in the kitchen through my gigging. He got what I wanted to say and had to throw on a robe before handing the fire. It's one of my fondness memories."


Tags
2 years ago
The Softer Side Of Life

the softer side of life

pairing: lucifer x gn!reader

summary: reincarnation au, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending

The Softer Side Of Life

1.

"What happens when we die?"

The question came unprompted. Lucifer's gaze flitted down to you. His hand hovered in the air, the pink petal sitting still between his fingers as a cloak of tension fell upon you. 

It was one of the rare weekends where his schedule was clear and he wasn't already worn out by the week's work, so an impromptu vacation was what you went for. It just so happened that the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. It had been a while since your last visit to the human world, so Lucifer figured that it would be the perfect trip.

And it was– the park was packed with families and friends, but you were lucky enough to have scored a spot right under a pink canopy. He could lean against the trunk and adorn your hair with petals, sake and bentos forgotten on the far side of the picnic mat, as the wind carried his troubles into the far far distance…

… where his brothers were loitering.

Of course they had to tag along. It wasn't like he had a choice. 

Whatever. He was determined not to let their intrusion ruin this perfectly serene date. 

And then you dropped the question. It was so sudden– there was nothing in this rosy paradise that could've provoked that kind of thought. It made him wonder whether death was a topic that constantly plagued your mind.

You stole a look at him. He was unmoored, to say the least. "There's no saying what happens. There's heaven and hell, but you could also get reincarnated or become a wandering soul."

"I see," you shuffled, shielding your true reaction behind closed lids. "Do I get to choose?"

"Would you like to?"

"Sure."

"Which one would you choose, then?"

"Mm… hell. Isn't that right below Devildom? You can come pick me up."

He scoffed, putting the petal down on the side. "Too bad you don't get to decide."

While Lilith was reincarnated as a human, it was through Diavolo's effort. Generally, souls, humans and non-humans alike, did not have a say in matters after death. They would simply be thrown into some divine judgment. And being a demon himself, death was still far away. It rarely crossed his mind what would happen after his end. Even when it did, he would just brush it off.

"Well, you can still find me if I get sent to heaven. And if I get reincarnated…" You trailed off, brows clenched in deep thought. "I'm going to be a whole different person, right?"

"Yes." 

A pause. You hesitated for a split second before you said, "I don't want to lose any of this."

Lucifer ran his fingers through your hair, sending the petals into disorder. He didn't want you to fear death and what came after. Humans had such a ridiculously short lifespan (again, a fact that he hated to linger on). It would be a waste to spend its entirety dreading the imminent end. 

"It's nothing to be afraid of," he said in the softest voice he could muster, "Though if you really do forget, I will just have to find you."

You hummed. "How are you going to do that?"

"With this." He took your hand and placed it above his heart. Your eyes flew open. He didn't have to say any more for you to understand– the pact, a bond that had woven itself into your very being, the very embodiment of the feelings you had for each other. Was it possible that it could transcend lifetimes as well?

A master at reading your expressions, he bent down to kiss your forehead, like a shot of sunlight piercing through and dispersing a storm. Your lips curved into a smile. "I still have a long way to go, my love. I will meet you and love you again and again. I promise."

Mammon's voice traveled from a distance, beckoning the both of you to join them. Lucifer pulled you onto your feet and grabbed your hand, giving it a brief squeeze. It was enough to chase the gloom out of your mind. 

Your death was instant. Lucifer felt it before he knew it– the jab in his heart. The twist. Then, the fall.

It was unlike anything he'd felt before. He rested his hand where the pain originated, feeling for the magic flowing in the pact, but it was gone now, slipping through his fingers into nothingness. It felt as though his heart had been torn apart, half of it bitten off by some brutal abomination. All that was left was the ache. It overcame him, so much that he couldn't see anything in front of him despite his eyes being wide open. He didn't flinch when he felt the spilled tea pooling around his trembling hand. 

Your death didn't just happen to you, it happened to him as well. The moment your heart stopped beating, the pact broke apart, and his end of it took the brunt. 

The rest was a blur of memories. Memory of your cold skin, the funeral, carving your name onto the gravestone. Memory of standing in front of it, a bouquet of white flowers in hand, and the fragility of a human's life.

The first few years were bleak. The house was so much quieter without you, and so much darker with seven demons in mourning. Lucifer would wake up in the dead of the night just to find his hand outstretched at the cold side of his bed. He buried himself in toil, even openly asked for it. It worked, but only for a while, because for how long could one ignore their heart's longing? For him, there was always something amiss. In the scarce moments when he was happy, it was fleeting, and was never enough to be bliss.

Just like that, more years passed, paving way for decades. 

It would be a hundred years before his heart came alive again.

2.

Lucifer recalled vividly the day he felt it- no, you . It started as a spark that roused him from his slumber, which turned into a boulder dragging his heart down. He had almost forgotten how much a heart was supposed to weigh. 

In desperation, he reached out for the intangible magic— something that he hadn’t done in a long time in fear of disappointment— and felt it materializing into a golden thread. It wavered and shuddered, but it was there, an invitation, a promise that if he focused on it hard enough, it would bring him to you.

It took almost zero contemplation. Lucifer pulled out his clothes from the bottom of the wardrobe, left behind a hasty note, and stumbled into the human world. He reminded himself over and over again that a brief look would be enough. Just to know that you were doing well, wherever you were, whoever you were. He would be satisfied, and then he would move on.

The human world had made a few shifts during his absence. Skyscrapers shot even higher into the sky, like arrows aimed at the sun. Roads in the cities were wider now, but it was as congested as ever. Lucifer held onto the invisible thread tugging at his heartstrings and zig-zagged his way through the crowd. 

Searching for a single person in billions, it turned out, was arduous. He was constantly terrified that you might've walked past him without him realizing, carried away in the waves of people. It took him days to reach the quieter part of the city, where the pact showed him no more clues.

It was an overcast day with a storm brewing in the grey clouds above. The air was still with anticipation of rain. Lucifer spent some time sauntering around the local market before walking out onto the concrete roads, where the first raindrop hit his skin. It was a drizzle at first, but it got heavier by the second, and before he knew it, it'd turned into a downpour. Umbrellas bloomed around him, and the unprepared ones spread out to find cover. 

He found shelter under an awning outside a closed flower shop. The exotic flowers bloomed ever so brilliantly behind the thick glass wall. You would've loved them , he mused. You'd always had a soft spot for flowers. 

Hurried footsteps pattered closer. A figure rushed under the roof, panting slightly after all the running. Lucifer paid them no mind, still absorbed in his thoughts. It was only when they started mumbling that his attention was torn away.

"I can't believe I left my umbrella at home…"

He held his breath at the distinct voice. He could recognize it anywhere– amidst the noisiest party, on the other side of a blizzard, even decades and decades away. He turned.

There you were: untangling your damp hair, eyes darting out at the flooding roads with impatience, as though you were completely unaware of his presence. But you weren't, because you turned to him as soon as you felt his astonished stare.

Little had changed about you, which wasn't to say that you looked exactly the same, just that you were like a painting, a portrait. Though he could make out the slight changes in your features, you were just as radiant as he'd remembered you to be.

"Annoying, isn't it?" You jutted your jaw towards the rain, trying to strike a conversation with the stranger. (Right, a stranger. You bore no memory of him, which shouldn't have hurt as much as it did considering that he'd seen it coming miles away.)

"Yes," He said. The response was terse because he suddenly forgot how to speak. There was a racing heart stuck painfully in his tightened throat. "Yes, it is." He tried again.

You flashed him a tight-lipped smile before turning away. 

There it is, he told himself. The brief look you were looking for. You've got it now. You should go.  

"I know it sounds absurd," before he could move, you faced him again, a hesitant shine in your eyes. "But have we met before?"

In hindsight, if he were to pinpoint the exact moment he knew that he was doomed for eternity, it would be this. As the rain raged on and the world enclosed around you, he realized that maybe love wasn't a question after all.

It was easy falling in love with you. After all, your soul was one and the same. Little by little, his heart mended itself, and happiness seeped back into his life. He spent most of his time in the human world now, right where you were, and he had the impression that he was drunk, intoxicated by the new things he got to learn about you, by every unintended touch and all the passionate ones, by instants when your heart danced the same rhythm. 

He'd never thought he could have this again, but you managed to find your way back to each other. He would watch the moonlight spill onto your hair in the dark and feel invincible, like death had nothing on you. 

And death, lurking in the corner with an amused smirk, let him have his fun for a handful of years. When it decided that time was up, though, it wasn't so lenient.

It manifested as a reckless vehicle and trapped you unconscious on the hospital bed for days before finally releasing its chokehold. As the monitor beeped its flat tone, the doctor explained over and over again, they're gone, we're sorry, they're gone . Lucifer pushed them out of the way with his reckless strength and whisked you away. 

He remembered bargaining with reapers, with angels, with Diavolo again (he'd done it once, he could do it again). He remembered the tremble possessing his body as he pleaded and pleaded until the words were only blood in his mouth. Diavolo tried to pry his hands away from you, but he wouldn't let go. "There's nothing I can do, Lucifer." Lucifer shook his head. "It's too late. They're already gone. I'm sorry." There must be some way. "Shouldn't you have known? "

Yes. He should've known, which was why his chest hurt twice as much. The room sank into silence as his cries subdued. Holding your icy hand, he swore that he would never love you again.

But we all know how the story goes.

3.

Twenty-nine thousand and two hundred days later, in front of two identical graves with different names, you tapped on the door of his heart. This time, he turned a blind eye, because the thought of losing you the third time was mortifying. Who in their right mind would sign up for that kind of pain?

That's the thing about grief. It messed with people's heads and made fools of them. Lucifer knew better than to make the same mistake, but his heart was constantly demanding its other half, and it would not rest. 

In his defense, he hadn't meant to fall in love again, but all his high walls crumbled at the mere sight of you– not as worn photos, not as gravestones, but as a living soul. You welcomed him into your life with open arms. Acquaintanceship grew into stolen glances, and before long, you were lovers again, pushing the rusty grief out and making space for happiness.

But it wasn't easy. He had no idea when you were going to leave him again, which led to protectiveness on his end. He was sure that, if he were around you at all times, he could prevent accidents from happening. It made him as sensitive as ever. That time he lost you in the crowd, he got so hysterical that he refused to let go of you for the rest of the day. It was only until you confessed that his grip around your hand was too firm that he resolved to stick by your side.

"Can I ask you something?" You asked from the other side of your studio apartment, stirring your mug of warm drink. It was a small flat, but it felt like home to him.

He hummed.

"Are you afraid that I'm going to leave you one day?" You refused to meet his eyes. "You can ignore it if you want to. I know it sounds dumb." 

The prolonged silence was what made you look up. Lucifer was so still that he might as well have been petrified. Finally, he parted his mouth. "Why do you ask?"

"You always act like I'm going to disappear. I'm not going anywhere. You know that, right?"

But you were. You didn't know it yet, but you were always going to leave. 

"Luci," you called. "You can tell me anything."

Sincerity welled up in your eyes. He wanted to tell you everything so badly, so that he could lift the weight of memories off his back, but would you even believe him? If he told you that you were lovers in past lives and that your souls were bound together, would you call him a lunatic?

His legs moved before he could make a decision. Lifting your hand to his heart and vice versa, he recounted fragments of your previous lifetimes: how you first met, how you stole his heart, and how he'd not known peace ever since. Unreadable emotions flashed across your face. He didn't stop until he'd got everything off his chest, throat parched as he waited for your response. 

"You can choose not to believe it," he said. "It must sound absurd."

"Then am I more absurd for thinking that it actually makes sense?" You laughed nervously. "I mean, the first time I saw you, I already found you familiar. I'd always had this impression that I've known you for a long, long time, I just never thought anything of it. I– I'm so sorry, Lucifer, for making you bear everything alone, but I'm here now."

Those single, simple words were full of an ocean's worth of comfort. The tears came in floods. Lucifer buried his face into your shoulder and dampened your shirt. Neither of you cared. In this moment, you were just two souls clinging onto each other in the vicious currents of life.

"I won't leave you behind again, I promise. I will remember you," you repeated it, desperate to make it true. "I will remember you. I will remember you. I will–"

4.

"Can I have your name?" You asked behind the counter.

"It's Lucifer."

The corner of your mouth quirked up. "Alright, one black coffee for Lucifer."

You'd taken the path of a barista in this life, and had opened a neat little coffee shop in the corner of this coastal town. 

Over the span of a hundred and three years, humans had made drastic changes to the landscape. He could scarcely see evidence of the old geography now, let alone get from place to place. Had he not had his heart as a compass, he never would've been able to find you.

Things were easier this time around. You got to know each other, you fell in love, you spent time together. He decided not to come clean like last time. It hadn’t gone the way he'd wanted. The knowledge had filled you with guilt, which, when mixed with affection, didn't feel so pleasant. He didn’t want you to love him out of obligation. 

Another reason was that he didn’t want to tell you that you were always going to die regretfully young. No one could live with that kind of knowledge. 

So he settled for simplicity. You, a coffee shop, the warm sun. He did his best to leave no regrets, to live everyday as if it was your last. When you died, it hurt just as much, but he took to the pain like fish to water. 

During his years of waiting, as he stood before the three graves, he wondered for how long this could go on for. There was only so much breaking and healing a heart could handle before it would come apart at the seams. The possibility of a never-ending cycle was ghastly. He distracted himself by thinking about all the sweet moments you would share together in the next life.

5.

While the landscapes might change, nature never lost its colors. Lucifer rested his head against the bumpy window and looked out at the flashing scenery. Scarce houses were distributed on the green land. Behind the green was a lake, then mountains that went as far as his eyes could see. It was a sight he could never get bored of.

The train came to a stop. Passengers came and went. He hadn't the slightest idea where it was bringing him, but it didn't matter. His heart had led him here after incessant searching, and it had always been right.

Someone moved into the seat opposite him. He could tell it was you without looking. 

You were typing on your phone with one hand, the other hidden inside the pocket of your jacket. Little had changed about you, though even if you were to don a completely different appearance, he could still recognize you. 

You grinned at your screen. He hadn’t heard your laugh for so long that the simplest hint was enough to send his stomach into a whirlwind. 

The view outside started moving again. As sufficient as it was to simply be in your presence, he still wished to strike a conversation with you. Then the rest would come together by itself, just like how it’d been all those times before.

At least that was what he expected. You never addressed him. Whatever was on your phone seemed to be hogging all your attention. Time passed on. At some point, just as he was about to say something to you, you pulled out your other hand. Sunlight caught on something wrapped around your ring finger. 

The world froze.

Lucifer had thought that there would be nothing worse than your deaths. He was wrong.

It turned out that he was two years late. By the time he made it, you already had eyes for someone else. 

He hadn’t planned to linger, but he did— as a passing stranger, as the customer in the far corner of the restaurant, as a shopper looking at fruits he knew nothing of. To keep an eye out for you, that was the excuse he used. It worked for the first few months. A full year later, not so much.

There were a few things going on in his mind :

Disbelief. Anger. Betrayal. For almost four centuries he had devoted himself to finding you in every lifetime despite knowing that there would be no happily ever after. He let the grief drag his heart through jagged rocks. Why couldn’t you have waited for him the way he did you for so many years?

Underneath gritted teeth, jealousy. Because it wasn’t him whom you’re smiling up at. It wasn’t him who got to hold you in his arms, who got to taste your mediocre yet homely cooking (did your dishes still taste the same? He wouldn’t know). You wouldn’t even see him in this crowded world. Maybe he should hate you, maybe he would feel better that way. Yet the idea was like a match thrown into gunpowder. It only burnt him more.

He only got to talk to you once. You were browsing flowers with your partner as he stood on the other side, fingers rubbing soft, heart-shaped petals absent-mindedly.

“…I don’t want to pick a random one,” you said to them in a low voice. “I need something more meaningful.”

“Yea,” they looked at the empty counter. The shop owner had gone into the back of the shop. “Maybe we should wait for a bit.”

Lucifer heaved a deep breath and picked up the vase he had been toying with. One step. Two steps. Three steps. He came up to you, tucking his closer arm behind his back to keep the want to touch you at bay.

“How about this?” He started. You turned to him, and for the first time, truly registered him. “Hollyhock. Fairly easy to grow, just make sure it gets enough sun.”

“What does it represent?” 

“Epiphany, nostalgia, ‘remember me’.” He pushed the words out. In his throat was a silent pleading : here is my bare heart. Please tell me you recognize it. 

You took the plant from him and observed it. He noticed the twitch in your brows, a sign that you were in deep thought. Did they know this about you? He spared them a glance. They were leaning into your space. He hated every single thing about this. His heart was beating out of his chest.

“It’s a nice message, promising to remember each other and all,” you turned your back to him, completely and utterly ignorant. “What do you think?”

“I think it’s perfect,” they smiled, disgustingly sweet, and left a kiss on your temple. “I’ll go pay for it.”

By the time you remembered to give your thanks, Lucifer was already nowhere to be seen.

Outside, as he shot through the crowd in haste, he caught a glimpse of his reflection glaring at him, eyes shining and mouth trembling. 

At the core of all the things he was feeling (rage and jealousy and all that came between) was fear, because for the first time, he learnt that his heart could be wrong.

His return to Devildom was immediate. There was no place for him in this world.

When his heart told him you’d died, he showed up at your funeral only after the guests had left. He peeked inside the casket and felt sourness in his nose. Even if he could kill his desires, he couldn’t kill the ache in his chest or the tears streaming down his face at the sight of your lifeless body.

“Here. Just let it out,” your partner walked up to him and patted his shoulder. After he’d calmed down, they chewed on the inside of their cheek, “I don’t think I’ve met you before. Were you friends?”

So much more.  

“Something like that.” He said and tore himself away.

6.

Your life was largely occupied by two things, one during the day and another during the night.

In your waking moments, it was the feeling that you'd lost something, much like how people would forget their earphones in their back pockets, only that you had no idea what you were missing, and thus had no way of finding it.

You'd tried searching under the bed, in the library, even online where no one treated you seriously, but nothing turned up. As you grew up, you came to understand that it wasn't an object at all, but something deep within.

A part of yourself had been erased, leaving a gaping hole in its wake.

This kind of longing changed you in more than one way. You would be walking on the street and feel the need to turn back, only to see nothing in the crowd. You would look into the mirror and find yourself unrecognizable. Being cut in half meant that you saw the world in half too– all its beauty and all its ugliness. Movies that made your friends weep couldn't force a tear out of you. Jokes that had the whole audience chortling only elicited a chuckle from you. 

"You're pretty cold-hearted, aren't you?" Someone (you couldn't remember who. It would seem that even your memories were fragmented.) said once, to which you responded with an uncaring shrug. In retrospect, you should've corrected them like this, "I'm not cold-hearted. I'm missing part of it."

The only way to escape the brokenness of your being was to fall asleep, but even in the land of nod peace was scarce. You dreamed way too much. At night, in the early morning, even during the twenty-minutes nap you took on Saturdays. They were mostly pleasant: a grotesque mansion perched on a small hill where the sun never shined on, comforting laughter echoing down hallways, the warmth of a fireplace. A city drenched in afternoon rain, the starry canvas above a green field. For the less pleasant ones : a wild beast hurtling at you at full speed, disease crawling under your skin, being chased by something less than human.

Mostly they didn't bother you, despite how familiar they felt. No, what really bothered you was this: the man who was always present in all these dreams, the man whose face was always obscured. You dreamed of the way sunset caught in his hair, as if he was consuming a star. You dreamed of him, the way he walked and the way he talked. You dreamed of him, yet you couldn't recall his name.

And the most nightmarish of them all: Under a shower of pink petals, he was making you a promise, and you knew that this promise was the key to all your questions, so you made sure to memorize it. But as soon as you woke up, the words quickly ebbed away from you until there was nothing left on your tongue. You were back to knowing nothing.

That was to say, your life was largely occupied by two things, one being the haunted house that was yourself, and the other being the ghost that did the haunting.

"I have to say, I expected you to seek my help a long, long time ago," was what Solomon had said when Lucifer asked him for a way out. Naturally, as a sorcerer who had made pacts with more demons than stars in the sky, he must’ve had to cut ties with a few, or at least knew how to. He wasted no time bringing out a flask of mauve potion. It was as if he had been waiting for it.

Lucifer had to agree with him. He should’ve let you go instead of letting himself drown in centuries of grief. It had manipulated him for too long, this good-for-nothing heart of his that tethered you to him.

Which was why he was going to end it once and for all.

Back at the house, he poured the potion into a glass and grimaced at the pungent smell. Solomon had warned him that the taste would be more than unsavory. All the more reason to mix it with demonus. 

Even as he was dissolving the potion, the small voice in the back of his head was still protesting. Don’t do it, it’s begging. You’ll regret it. 

He wouldn’t. He raised the glass and held his breath.

The liquid reflected his furrowed brows. Instead of emptying it, his arm stayed in place, and started to grow sore from the angle. Huffing, he placed the drink down and opted for a stroll around his room instead.

Once he’d gathered enough determination again, he sat himself in front of the desk and glared at the glass like it was a villain with a shit-eating grin. He could do it. He should do it, for everyone’s sake. Just one gulp and he would be free of torment. He would no longer know when you’ve returned to life. He would no longer be tempted to meet you. He would no longer be tricked into playing another inevitable tragedy.

That was all it was, tragedy. Everything had been a mistake from the start. From meeting you to subjecting himself to loving you. A slight miscalculation, a tiny indulgence was all it took for everything to spiral down.

Yet the small voice didn’t agree. It can’t all be bad, it argued. There were good memories. Priceless ones. Don’t you remember any of them? 

Of course he remembered. He twirled the glass absent-mindedly as he recounted the days spent with contentment and nights in each other’s presence. Sitting at the dining table with food just enough for two. Feeling your arms around him on the sofa, solid and warm. The tears that he shed in front of you were never those of sorrow, but those of joy. More precisely, the joy of being able to meet you again.

It was only when he was alone that he could be honest. He still missed you. He missed you like hell . And it wasn’t fair because whenever you died, you took away so much of his happiness. He only ever had a few years (decades, if he was lucky) before everything was ripped away from him again. 

The funny part was that he just kept going for it. Every single time, he ran into the fire. Maybe it was his heart that took the wheel and made the decision. Maybe the pact was the only reason he managed to find you— so that the pain would go. But he wasn’t so blind that he would blame it entirely on magic. Was it not also him who made the choice to see you? Somewhere along the way, was it not his belief that, even just for a short while, your tenderness would make all the pain worthwhile?

This must not go unsaid— it was love through and through. Love was the only trap he would dive into head first, reason and pride abandoned. He would be nothing without it.

The concoction looked to him like a stupid mistake now. After all, did he not promise to find you no matter what? He had to keep his words so that when you finally broke free of this laborious cycle, he would be able to face you with pride.

As if on cue, he heard a ring in his heart, much like a doorbell, and with it the door opened and sunlight spilled in.

It was drizzling the day you got onto the express. Despite the rain, the summer air was still ruthless, clinging to your skin like a layer of mist. You cupped the iced coffee for some much needed relief.

This wasn’t how you’d planned to spend your weekend. You were supposed to stay in, pull up some movies, and waste the time away, but after another night of dreams filled with deja vu, you decided to put the day off to good use.

After some research, the pink tree— cherry blossoms, to be exact— turned out to be more than just your rich imagination. While such species did exist, they were facing the dire threat of extinction. Among the few that survived in the world, one was just a few stops away from you. There was no reason not to go, if just for the peace of mind. Even if you didn’t get anything out of it, it would still be a nice trip.

The train came to a stop. You were flooded out onto the platform, but the group dwindled as you made your way towards your destination until you were the only one mounting the cobblestone path. 

To say you weren’t disappointed would be a lie. Sure, the sight was out of this world. The cherry tree was massive and rich with flowers, and with every hint of breeze petals fell and pooled around the trunk. No, the disappointment came from the lack of spectators. It was just you and the tree on this dry, unplanted soil. 

The flowers provided shelter from the rain. You lay down directly underneath and watched the sun filter in through the gaps, dappling all over you. The summer heat left you gradually, courtesy of the occassional wind.

Any other human, upon being in your shoes, would probably find themselves in solace, but all you felt was melancholy. As always, it wasn’t enough. 

You didn’t know how much time had passed, but you started slipping in and out of consciousness. You were still under the blossoms, but there was something else now— distant voices, sake in the air, fingers running through your hair. The brief pressure on your forehead felt so real that there was no way it could've been an illusion. 

In anticipation, you opened your eyes.

Of course, no one was there. 

Shaking your head, you got on your feet and spared the tree one last glance before turning away. Before you could take another step though, you stopped in your tracks. 

Your eyes landed on a figure, frozen in his movement as if you’d caught him off guard. He hesitated, then continued walking closer.

A flurry of petals blocked your view, but then he was still there, hair windblown and tousled. 

At that moment, you knew that you knew him.

There were no doubts. Every atom that made you up had him memorized. The clarity was throbbing in your heart, restricting your throat. His name slipped your mind, but you were certain, because despite the fact that his expression was unreadable, you could picture his grin. You were out of earshot, yet his voice fluttered in the air. You could trace the size of his hand, accurate down to the very inch.

For the first time in your life, you felt it all— things that were powerful and magnificent enough to conquer you and render you speechless. He came to a stop a few feet away, and, recognizing your expression, his shoulders relaxed.

“You found me,” the words came naturally, despite the fact that it didn't make sense.

A smile fought its way to his lips, as if saying, I kept my promise.


Tags
2 years ago

anyways before i forget.

coward!MC lesson 16 reactions,,, bro the angst potential there is so real idk even where to start.

i legit imagine,,, you're in such a state of abject terror and shock, like, you literally died, not a game, no joking, it HAPPENED, and no one saved you, belphie didn't stop, there was absolutely nothing you could do

first lucifer rejecting you, and then this. it'd be a massive setback to any kind of bravery you'd been able to muster because seriously, post lesson 16, literally fuck that. you could DIE, this is REAL, and you were stupid for ever forgetting that.

hhh just. satan, lucifer, mammon,, whichever other boys (i love me some dia so maybe him and barb, who probably deserves to feel at least a little responsible), knowing how much you suffer. trying to help.

HNNNNNG YOU WROTE MC'S TERROR SO FUCKING GOOD AND NOW THE ANGST POWER LIVES IN MY BRAIIIIN

strongly worded and more detailed letters to follow, love, elsey,

Coward! MC here

Hellfire tea sits cold in your lap.

The flames in the fireplace burn with vigour, bright and burning as expected of something like Hell. Mammon once threw a broken chair in there, to hide it from the eldest, and it reduced to ashes in front of your eyes within seconds.

The fire devour anything it gets.

Like that black tapir roasted to perfection by Satan. Babylon curry stirred by Asmodeus, with two pink hairclips that he put in place before beginning with the cooking and as he chirped "so that my hair won't be affected by the heat !," and the cheerful chatter in the air. Plans made and some promptly turned away (exploring all Devildom restaurants in a day might just lead to bankruptcy) and smiles which were not seen before.

And Quetzalcoatl brain soup stirred by a tall demon.

For his twin, of course.

Bony fingers that gripped the ladle and lips curling into a smile at the taste. Those same fingers around your throat. Tightening, not letting you breathe even when you begged. Black spots in your vision and a throbbing pain in your chest after having been thrown down the stairs. You must have broken a bone or two in there, but you're not sure.

You're not even sure why you are alive.

Belphegor laughs, and you freeze in your seat, fork with spaghetti twisted around it falling on the table with a plop!

You blame it on clumsy hands. And yet, your heartbeat can be heard by inhumane ears.

You stare at it with detachment, perhaps wondering if the piece of food will jump to life.

"Here," Belphegor says, passing you a plate of sushi. "I thought you would like it, since its from the human world."

You stare but smile, and when his fingers brush against yours you tremble.

"I missed out on a lot, didn't I?" He mentions with gaze half-lidded. "I want to catch up on everything."

You chew on rice and fish but the taste doesn't matter at the moment. The room is gigantic and you already dwarf in comparison. Eyes gaze at you in concern, but you pay no heed.

Did your death even get a mourning?

When Belphegor says your name, you nod and say yes.

Even when you beg yourself to say no and get out, out of the room where he is sitting and eating and you're dining with him and his brothers and you're dining with rejection and death in front of you and oh god you can't say no—

Your fingers dig into your thigh.

"MC, are you alright?" Asmodeus whispers, unable to avoid the way in which your hands tremble when Belphegor is near. You don't hear him, continuing to stare at the half-eaten sushi on your plate. Your heart pounds in your chest, the familiar tendrils of fear clinging to you as the seventhborn draws nearer.

"MC—"

He is barely able to place a hand on your shoulder before you jolt, throwing away your cutlery with a clang. The chair makes a noise that makes everyone else wince, following which you're gone and out of the dining room.

You're gone in a flash, footsteps fading with the door of your room slamming shut.

This is your chance.

Go back in time. Find out what helped Belphegor escape. Come back.

Sounds like a pretty neat plan.

"Thank you, MC." When Lucifer expresses his gratitude for your help, you smile in understanding.

Even after what has happened, you will show everyone that you can be better. That you're not the coward you used to be. After having faced rejection and cried outside the firstborn's door, writing on paper that tore due to how much you erased your work and after Lucifer's demon form towering over you. Teeth bared in a display of aggression, and the sickening thud that was made when Beel collided with the furniture.

And after all that has happened, things are finally looking up for you. You've fallen down many times, but you're learning to brush yourself and get up, persevere, and not shrink when faced with the slightest threat.

This is your chance, you affirm, clenching your fist. You can finally prove that you're worthy of respect, a value that you want to be admired for.

"Remember, you must not tell anyone that you are from the future, as well as me. That might end up warping history. Return after finding out the reason for Belphegor's escape."

The butler instructs, finger under his chin. You nod, flashing the demon a smile to let him know that you are prepared. Barbatos's warning echoes clear in your head as you approach the door, and open it, revealing a purple mist.

When you look back at the demon, his expression reveals nothing. Bidding him bye, you step forward.

You can't wait to return.

As soon as the haze clears, you find yourself in the hallway of the House of Lamentation. You pace around, trying to ascertain as to during which event you are here.

The sound of bickering catches your ears, and you step forward into Mammon's room.

"When you're silencing yourself, ensure to quieten that stomach too!"

"Hey! Don't ask me to do the impossible!"

"Lucifer and MC should have opened up to each other by now."

Your breath hitches in your throat as you take in Asmo's words. So the whole game with the firstborn was planned...

A smile forms on your face at the realisation, but it drops as soon as you remember that they don't know what will happen. Screaming and shouting. Bristled wings and snarls. Threats on your life. Careful to not make noise, you step forward to listen better.

And the sound of the empty can crushing beneath your feet is enough to attract attention.

Mammon's head whips around. "I didn't know you were in here the whole time!" He says in disbelief, and the others look on. You gulp, having the urge to get out of the room without explaining yourself, but you stop.

"Yeah, I followed Satan around.." You mutter, embarrassed, and the fourthborn frowns.

"See! I told you to be careful" Asmo complains, pointing a finger accusingly at his brother. "Now look what you've done."

The idea to make Lucifer and you talk again has not worked out, and the demon pouts.

Levi furrows his brows."You should see him." He says, and you nod, glad to get out and solve the mission. Back in the hallway, you hear faint voices, and on inspecting closely you discover that they're coming from the top of the stairs.

Where Belphegor is held prisoner.

"The old Lucifer wasn't like this! The old Lucifer didn't care what others thought of him!"

You don't hear a retort.

Perhaps this was one of the many reasons why you fell in love with Lucifer. Brave and confident of himself, willing to sacrifice himself for those who loves.

Something you wouldn't have been able to muster the courage for.

But you're growing. You're making progress, as small that might be. You no longer tolerate lower-level demons stepping up and stealing your lunch or bothering you in class. Grades are improving, and so are your relations in the house.

You don't want it all to shatter.

You don't want to pick yourself up again like that night.

Descending footsteps alert you, and so you hide.

And Belphegor's pleading voice for help is something you are unable to resist.

And so you step forward and open the door.

And so Belphegor embraces you.

And then he transforms.

"What—What the hell are you doing?!" You stammer, fear creeping in your veins at the sudden reveal of his demon form. "Belphegor, what exactly are you planning?"

When his hand curl around your neck, you scream.

He pushes you against the wall of the attic, your head colliding with the stone, further adding to your agony. The demon laughs, and you wonder if this is his genuine smile, finally revealed in a moment of cruelty.

"Don't blame me for tricking you, blame yourself for falling for it," He snarls, teeth too sharp and eyes too bright in the dim light. You struggle to breathe, your clawing and kicking of no use.

"Please," You beg, barely able to rasp out words when he squeezes your neck so tightly you fear he might just wrung it and kill you. "I don't want to—I—please d-don't—"

His smile is cruel.

"It's rather unpleasant, in't it? Being choked like this." Belphegor laughs, the sound throaty and cruel, and you feel your heart breaking further at the betrayal. You thought you were friends. You trusted him. You freed him.

All that courage you had gathered, all gone to waste. Your mission—failed. What you feared during your time in the Devildom is happening, and you can't even do anything to stop it.

You are about to die.

Your vision blurs with tears, and you struggle to breathe in his grasp.

Not this time. Not this. Anything but this. Please don't kill me.

His laugh still rings in your ears as your eyes close.

Anyways Before I Forget.

"Not my breakfast!"

Leviathan protests, unable to do anything but watch as Beel downs the rest of his food, miffed at his ignorance. He slams his hand on the table, and Lucifer frowns.

"Beel and Levi—"

The delicate normalcy in the room has been broken, and now it lies shattered like a thousand glass pieces that will be hard to pick up and will pierce skin.

If not of demons, than of a human.

The demon straightens his posture, realising that his presence has stopped the chatter that he had anticipated. Belphegor gazes around the room, and when he turns to look his brothers in the eye they don't meet his gaze.

"Come on," He drawls, pulling back the chair to sit down, the sound making everyone wince. "Continue."

He grabs his portion of bread and soup, but no one resumes their actions.

Indifferent, the demon takes a bite of the bread.

"So...are you going along with Belphie to school?" Asmo questions, hand resting under his chin.

Besides him, Leviathan announces that he will grab something to eat at the cafeteria, and the fading footsteps create a sound no one wants to hear.

Belphegor takes a sip of the soup. "MC doesn't have to go along if they don't want to." His expression reveals nothing; and your shoulders sag with relief.

You don't go with Belphegor to school that day.

But that doesn't spare you from his presence next to yours in the class.

Neither does the fact that you're sitting next to the demon that killed you once.

Has he brushed aside what happened so easily? And have the others done the same? You ask yourself as the professor demonstrates how to manifest magic circles. And rejection still sits bitter within you.

After that class is over, you have to go shopping for Diavolo's birthday. You're not sure if you'll be able to do that with Belphegor around.

Every step you take will have to be done with caution. Because you, foolish human, had forgotten that you were defenseless, with or without the pacts.

They knew what would happen when you would step into the portal.

Neither did you find someone who loved you.

Neither was your love returned.

The pain of rejection dulls in comparison to death, and even then you find yourself in shambles.

You were, after all, sent to your demise instead. You laugh at the fact, a low chuckle that breaks off into a crack at the end, and it doesn't help that Mammon winces noticing your expression of happiness is a bitter one. Nor is it true.

After running into the residents of Purgatory hall, you find that nothing escapes Simeon's gaze.

When he advices you to serve as a bridge for the brothers, you are tempted to cackle.

The angel quietens when he sees the dark circles under your eyes, and the way your eyes dart around the stairs, waiting for someone to strike. Instead Simeon breathes out, murmuring that you are welcome to come to Purgatory Hall whenever you wish. The angel doesn't know what took place, but he knows you're in turmoil.

"If you want someone to talk to, I'm right here." He departs with those words.

He leads Luke back home.

He doesn't know what to say.

And your vision blurs as they walk away.

Nothing can be said of this moment, nothing is left to say. Its silence silences.

Anyways Before I Forget.

Game night is not a peace-building activity.

Rather, it leads to chaos.

"Wrong decision Mammon! You could have had Ruri work as an idol and instead you've sent her to the casino!"

"She'll make more money and then you'll get more! Stop shoutin at me!"

"This was my videogame—"

The door slams open.

And then it begins.

"So you're telling me that Beel is feelin guilty because he didn't know you were being held..prisoner?"

"What else," Belphegor rolls his eyes, and when his gaze meets yours his expression is unreadable. He settles away from you, swiping a pillow from Levi's lap who gazes around the room, and placing it on his own. Although he's not touching you, his presence is enough to inspire fear. Your nerves stay on edge, body stiffening as you attempt to stay still and not shrivel besides him.

You want to go back to your room.

"Should we go and see Beel?" Mammon mutters in your ear, not wanting to let Belphie hear, but the action has you nearly jolting in your place.

Your eyes are downcast. "S-Sure," You whisper, voice low. "We should see him." You play with your thumb, refusing to meet either brother's gaze. The audio from the game stops playing, and the silence that follows starts to envelope the room in a heavy blanket.

The secondborn frowns.

"Ya alright?" He questions, eyes travelling over your form, inspecting for any injuries you might have been trying to hide or any signs of illness, but when he sees the way your hands tremble and breath runs ragged Mammon bends down.

"Let's go to your room MC, how about that?"

You nod, and let him lead the way.

When the door closes again, it is Levi's turn to gape at Belphegor.

"They're scared of you," He blurts out, unable to bear the silence. "MC doesn't want to be near you."

Belphegor stares at the tank in resignation.

Back in your room, Mammon dims the lights with a simple incantation that he heard Lucifer recite countless times. "Thanks," You say, voice muffled under the blanket. The demon smiles, his eyes looking unusually bright in the dark, but you brush it aside as a demon quirk.

"Anything for ya."

He turns to leave, ready to walk out the door and close it, then walk straight towards the end of the hallway where—

"Mammon?"

His name comes out in a whisper, and he stills.

"Could you stay?"

A smile. "Of course."

Anyways Before I Forget.

"Are you alright?"

Lucifer questions, and you tremble.

"I'm fine," You mumble, unable to meet his gaze. You don't have the courage to even look the demon in the eye, and so you stare at your notebook. "Just doing some assignments," You blurt, picking up a pencil in hopes of making yourself look busy. "We've got a test tomorrow in Hexes and Curses."

The demon eyes you, lips turned downwards and brows furrowed.

The man can see you trembling. The way your eyes flicker nervously over lines of text, or the way you keep fidgeting with the pencil.

You're scared.

And who's fault is it?

Who is responsible for your death?

Who is responsible for locking Belphegor?

Who is responsible for the fall from the Celestial Realm?

Who is responsible for destroying any courage you had gathered?

All these questions are screamed at him, and the war comes to mind. When others had believed in him, and he failed them.

He failed you.

Lucifer knows that it is him, and no other being. All that had happened to you are the consequences of his own actions. That after having finally gathered yourself from the pain of rejection, the pain of dying had finally torn down any remnants of your happiness and peace here.

And...would you even trust him?

The firstborn asks himself this question as he ogles your form; desperately trying to find a way for you or him to leave. Because he can't be trusted, not anymore.

And he can't even believe you when you say that you're fine.

"You should rest," He says, voice raspy. "The past few days have been....."

The demon winces, stopping himself before he goes and says something that will tear the manufactured normalcy you've been desperately trying to present.

You nod in return, muttering out a 'good night,' before gathering your notebook and scurrying out from the room. You can feel eyes burning holes in the back of your head; you can feel Lucifer staring at you, but you don't want to look back.

And as your footsteps retreat, Lucifer replaces the vacant spot you had left, on the chair.

He inspects the wood, eyes gazing over the material before he rests his head on it—too exhausted to do anything else. Too tired to try right now.

He's worsened your agony.

Gloves fingers pick up the pencil lying abandoned, and the firstborn stares at it. Your departure sets something in his chest throbbing with pain, and he knows it is love that he cannot speak about.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

He loves you. But it is an affection he does not have the courage to speak about, for his actions say something else.

Does he even deserve you?

Lucifer's throat tightens, and he refuses to acknowledge it.

His mind drifts back to the time when his brothers were creating a fuss about that Devilgram photo with you and Satan. How you both looked so happy and it was someone else who'd made you smile. How hard you had cried that night when he had rejected you and how scared you were after. How you avoided him after and how you must have cried and how scared you must have been when Belphegor killed you—

A garbled cry spills from his throat.

The sound Lucifer makes is something he's mortified to hear from himself. The man's vision blurs and all he can feel is the agony in his chest. His face is wet. And upon realising that the library isn't soundproof he casts an enchantment, through a tone that cracks in the end.

No one will be able to hear his cries now.

Your spirits have been crushed, and the MC he once knew is gone, replaced by one that had their spirits defeated.

Lucifer is witness to that. From watching you run away, leaving behind Beel and Luke in the underground tomb to standing in front of Diavolo, going back in time....and being rejected and yet bouncing back...there's no greater testimony than it.

He calls you to his room the night before you're supposed to leave for the human world.

You walk into the room to see Lucifer by the fireplace. The flames frame his features in a way which takes away your breath. It is in this moment that you're reminded that you are in a room with the Avatar of Pride and fallen angel, Lucifer himself.

You suppose there's no better time to be wary than now.

In hindsight, you should have never trusted them from the start. For who knew smiles and laughter would get you killed? So when the demon asks for you, it takes fifteen minutes itself to muster up courage to move.

And even more to stand in front of him.

"Come, sit down," He murmurs, gesturing to an empty couch across him. "Please make yourself comfortable."

The man attempts to make yourself feel relaxed in his presence, but you can't help the racing of your heart when you sit down on the plush couch, darting your gaze around the room, looking everywhere but in his eyes. When you finally do, look in his direction, you find that Lucifer is not scrutinizing you.

Rather, he's focused on the fire.

"I chose you as the exchange student for this programe." Lucifer declares, voice somber.

You fidget in your seat, not knowing what to make of his words. When he looks at you, your guts tell you to flee, yet you remain like a deer frozen in headlights.

"There were times when I regretted my choice."

Your heart sinks. You know Lucifer doesn't have the best opinion of you, you are pretty sure you are nothing more than a coward in his eyes, just a human to take care of for a year. A responsibility.

"But I made the right choice in choosing you." Lucifer smiles, and it is an expression full of warmth, unlike anything you've seen before.

"H-How?" You question, utterly bewildered and confused. "I thought you—that you—"

"That you had no value in my eyes." The man cuts you off, and you flinch. "That I had no respect for you." Your hands tremble, not knowing where this conversation is leading to. The door is right in front of you, maybe if you just excused yourself—

Yet another part wants to stay. Remain and listen to the demon. Lucifer's voice is soft. "I was wrong about you," He admits, smiling softly. "For you are someone to be respected."

?!

"Ever since the day I saw you in the Devildom, I assumed that you would be another hassle, another responsibility to take care of. And observing you during your first week here, didn't exactly put a decent impression of you in my mind."

You gape at the man, waiting for him to continue.

"You ran away from me in the underground tomb, and yet you went up the stairs that I stated were forbidden. I have seen you struggling with coursework, thrust into a new environment which you did not consent to have been put into..." He places a hand under his chin. "In hindsight, I should have been more understanding of your situation. I was the one to bring you here and you even got killed because of my mistake.."

"Don't say that."

He sighs, his shoulders sagging, and you've never seen Lucifer look more defeated.

"I have seen you grow. I assumed you were weak, a coward, and yet you grew and overcame your fears. You have helped me and my family immensely, and all I did was get in your way." He says, and your heart aches. "I've been cruel."

A sob chokes your throat.

"I am proud of you for what you have done and achieved, and I can never make enough reparations for what you had to suffer. But I swear I will prevent anything like this from occurring again." He gets up, suddenly, startling you. "And I offer you my pact as promise and as gratitude."

And as you watch, the Morningstar gets on his knees in front of you.

"Control over me as your demon, and you my Master," He mumbles. "Will you allow me the honour of making a pact with you?"

When Lucifer gazes at you with nothing but sincerity in his eyes, you have to blink back tears.

"Y-Yes."

The firstborn bows his head. "You will never have to fear me again." He swears. "And I will give you a reason to believe." And with that, you feel infernal magic flowing through your veins. A burst of energy so intense that it raises your heartbeat and makes you close your eyes momentarily.

When you open them again, you feel powerful.

For you have command over the Morningstar himself.

"Thank you," You whisper, placing your hand atop his own.

Anyways Before I Forget.

Satan has seen the way you carry yourselves now at RAD, an invisible presence amongst the crowd of chattering demons. Withdrawn and downcast. Despite the pacts, you were murdered.

He's seen you fall and rise, unwavering determination as you gathered courage and spoke up for yourself. Improved yourself and went against Diavolo, the literal Prince who few dared to oppose. You went back in time for all of them, and what did that get you?

Death.

But now you can barely muster any courage to even look him in the eye. Lucifer and Belphegor have made their pacts with you too in penance and forgiveness, but that is not enough to help the trauma inflicted upon you.

Satan doesn't know what to say now, seeing your downcast gaze and the way you tremble when Belphegor is near. He's seen you rise and fall, and seeing you destroyed makes Satan realise that he and his brother are all responsible for what happened to you. He loves you too; for seeing you strive to improve and overcome the fear that is justifiably humane, and observing you grow reminds Satan of himself.

But you've fallen down and been killed.

Therapy, he concludes one week before you're supposed to leave. It is perhaps the best option for you.

And all that on Diavolo's dime.

Lucifer and Satan had worked it out all together, and the Prince had readily agreed. He knew what would happen, and yet he allowed it.

One life in exchange for peace and order.

It sounds simple, but when you realise the weight it carries you can't bring yourself to do it. The man is a Prince, and with that title comes responsibilities and power more than anyone could fathom.

But did it give him the right to put you in a completely different realm and place an unwanted burden on your shoulders?

He muses, late at night when the moon is at its brightest. When he can't sleep, and the dark circles in the morning will surely concern Barbatos who won't hold back on a lecture.

But some questions won't stop bothering him.

Do you hate him?

Would you have hated him?

For what he's done to you?

Was he making the right choices?

Was he trying enough?

But he's still learning, still observing, still growing. He never lies.

And Diavolo doesn't ever want such a circumstance to occur. When he felt infernal magic radiating from you, so intense and of a magnitude that only the firstborn could muster, the Prince knew what had happened.

Pacts with the seven avatars.

Command over them.

Could....would you have forged one with him, if possible? Would you want to? He wants to ask, and yet Diavolo knows he can't make one even if you were willing.

Not yet.

But he'll work towards ensuring a world where he can.

Anyways Before I Forget.

Tags
3 years ago
hanmapolo - millie

Tags
Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • y56n11
    y56n11 liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • ryugonsstuff
    ryugonsstuff liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • raspberryday-blog
    raspberryday-blog liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • krazyyyyyanna
    krazyyyyyanna liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • xep9rtia
    xep9rtia liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • islasworldd444
    islasworldd444 liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • shartnart1
    shartnart1 liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • ncityhoe
    ncityhoe liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • 2oul3aterr
    2oul3aterr liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • w33bc3ntral
    w33bc3ntral liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • coolestg1rluveneverm3t
    coolestg1rluveneverm3t liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • upsidedowneye
    upsidedowneye liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • lia-2braxy
    lia-2braxy liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • bayanmai
    bayanmai liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • pochitae
    pochitae liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • rosalietodd013
    rosalietodd013 liked this · 1 month ago
  • sksksksskksks-blog
    sksksksskksks-blog liked this · 1 month ago
  • w33d34u
    w33d34u liked this · 1 month ago
  • rottenpassions
    rottenpassions liked this · 1 month ago
  • thekindredspirit04
    thekindredspirit04 liked this · 1 month ago
  • ilovecatx33
    ilovecatx33 liked this · 1 month ago
  • yesdere
    yesdere reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • kiyoomiomis
    kiyoomiomis liked this · 1 month ago
  • thegirlwithwifi
    thegirlwithwifi liked this · 1 month ago
  • ssianaa
    ssianaa liked this · 1 month ago
  • frlmegumi
    frlmegumi liked this · 1 month ago
  • spotzdotz30
    spotzdotz30 liked this · 1 month ago
  • mikeysprincessz
    mikeysprincessz liked this · 1 month ago
  • raikiri-sensei
    raikiri-sensei liked this · 1 month ago
  • yanderelover101
    yanderelover101 liked this · 1 month ago
  • rina-keddle
    rina-keddle liked this · 1 month ago
  • diana081603
    diana081603 liked this · 1 month ago
  • youmemi
    youmemi reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • floatingteas
    floatingteas liked this · 1 month ago
  • frfrdoda
    frfrdoda liked this · 1 month ago
  • midor3en
    midor3en liked this · 1 month ago
  • skskskvt
    skskskvt liked this · 1 month ago
  • favorite-storiess
    favorite-storiess reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • bhangiyooo
    bhangiyooo liked this · 1 month ago
  • utyblyn
    utyblyn liked this · 1 month ago
  • dazaifungus
    dazaifungus liked this · 1 month ago
  • gloweydoll
    gloweydoll liked this · 1 month ago
  • vixonal
    vixonal liked this · 1 month ago
  • zanybearfreakflower
    zanybearfreakflower liked this · 1 month ago
  • izzybell93
    izzybell93 liked this · 1 month ago
  • originalwitchnightmare
    originalwitchnightmare liked this · 1 month ago
  • gojoskohai
    gojoskohai liked this · 1 month ago
  • ravenqueennn
    ravenqueennn liked this · 1 month ago
  • 1nfinity666
    1nfinity666 liked this · 1 month ago
hanmapolo - millie
millie

she/her | 18

58 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags