Confessions

confessions

summary: Bucky can’t find the courage to share his feelings for you, so he gets a little help from an old friend.

pairing: college!Bucky x reader

warnings: alcohol consumption, some profanity

word count: 4k

a/n: this is my submission for @pellucid-constellations love letter writing challenge! this is also my first ever Bucky fic so I hope people like it! I have a few more fics in the works that I will (hopefully) be posting soon. any and all feedback is greatly appreciated :)

“Buck…are you listening?” Steve nudged him.

“What’s that?” he snapped back to his friends.

“Could you be more obvious?” Sam added.

“What?”

“The minute Y/N walks into a room you completely lose focus.”

“That’s not true,” he defended.

“And…she’s heading this way.”

“What?” Bucky panicked, running fingers through his hair. Sam and Steve chuckled as Y/N and Natasha joined them at the table.

“Hello boys,” Y/N said. Natasha planted a fresh pitcher of beer in the middle of the table along with a stack of plastic cups.

“You are the best girlfriend a guy could ask for,” Steve said, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

“I knew there was a reason you kept me around,” she winked at him.

“So what are you guys doing tomorrow night?” Y/N asked.

The boys looked at each other and shrugged, “Probably just hanging out here.”

“Not anymore. Nat and I are hosting a little end of semester party at our place and I expect you all to be there.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Steve said.

“Perfect, party starts at 9! Don't be late. Oh there’s Thor. I’m gonna go invite him,” she said, departing from the table with her beer in hand.

Sam, Steve, and Natasha all looked at Bucky.

“What?” he feigned innocence.

“That was real smooth,” Sam said.

Bucky looked at them all confused until Steve added, “You’re completely in love with this girl and you don’t say one word to her?”

“I’m not in love with her!” he denied, though they all knew he was full of it.

“Buck…” Natasha sighed, “I’m doing the best I can to help you out here but you’re not helping yourself.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to her.”

“She’s a person. Just talk to her like you would anyone else.”

“But she’s not anyone else. She’s…perfect.”

“Oh here we go again,” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Buck, we’re about to graduate. You’re gonna miss your shot,” Steve added.

“I’ve seen you pick up women before, you know what you're doing,” Sam commented.

He put his head in his hands, “I know, but Y/N’s just different. I’ve never had it this bad before.”

“You need to shoot your shot or else you’re going to regret it,” Sam said. Bucky nodded his head, knowing he was right.

“Talk to her tomorrow night. Have a few drinks to loosen you up and just go for it,” Natasha advised.

“What am I supposed to say?”

“Just tell her how you feel,” Nat said.

“Think it over tonight before you go to bed,” Steve suggested.

Bucky hastily agreed and while the conversation shifted, he felt like he needed to sort out his thoughts. He finished what was left of his beer in one sip, “I’m gonna head back, I’ll see you guys at home.”

It was a short walk from the campus dive bar to Bucky’s apartment and his head was spinning. He kept trying to rehearse what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t keep his thoughts straight. He walked into the apartment and dropped his keys on the counter top, immediately heading to the fridge for another beer. He thought the alcohol might help him relax and sort through his feelings. Yet the words felt all jumbled up in his head. Then an idea hit him. When Bucky was a kid and he argued with his sister, his Ma always made both of them write a letter to each other to get their feelings out and sort through why they were so upset. That always gave him clarity on the situations, so what better way to organize his thoughts now. He grabbed a notebook and sat on the couch with his beer, determined to get his thoughts out.

Dear Y/N,

Since the first day I met you, I knew you were special. I’ve never had trouble talking to girls before, but with you I’m so worried about saying the wrong thing, so I tend to keep quiet. I have never been able to get you out of my head no matter how hard I try and I’m worried that I’ve missed my chance with you. Y/N, you are truly the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, but more than that, you are exactly the kind of girl I’ve been looking for. I love that you get just as worked up as Sam when we’re watching a sports game. And I love that you treat every single person you meet with kindness, even if they don’t deserve it. I love the witty remarks you make seemingly without thinking. I love that you can answer almost every question on Jeopardy before the contestants even buzz in. I love that you are always doing things for others before taking care of yourself. Everything you do is perfect in my eyes. You are the type of girl I want to take home to introduce to my parents, and they would adore you. I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’ve always had a huge crush on you and I’d be the luckiest guy in the world if you’d agree to a date with me.

Forever yours,

Bucky

He read the letter over and over again, trying to find ways to improve his words or add to it, but he ultimately grew tired. He ripped the page out of his notebook and folded it in half, writing Y/N’s name on the folded page. He finished his beer and retired to his room as he tried not to worry about tomorrow night’s party.

“Bucky!” Sam called, knocking on his door, “You almost ready?”

Bucky opened the door for his roommate. “Yeah I think so.” He looked himself over once more in the mirror, ran his fingers through his hair, and nodded.

“You look great. You know what you’re gonna say to her?”

“I wrote some of it out last night.”

“Let me see.”

“No way, it’s personal.”

“Come on man, I’m just trying to help you.”

“Dude, it’s fine.”

“Is this it?” Sam said, picking up the notebook paper with Y/N’s name on it. Bucky gave him a warning glare and Sam darted out of the room, reading the letter before Bucky caught up with him.

“Sam!” Bucky yelled, chasing after him. He lunged at Sam, but Sam was quicker and held him off. Bucky realized it was too late and he slumped into the couch with discontent.

“This is really nice and I can tell it’s genuine, but you can’t say this stuff to her. It’s gonna scare her away. You have to build the foundation first.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Bucky asked, growing frustrated with his friend.

“Just talk to her, find something that you can connect with her on. And then if things go well, ask her out.”

“I’m overthinking this so much.”

“You just gotta be yourself and if she doesn’t like you then she’s crazy.”

“You guys ready to go?” Steve suddenly emerged into the living room. Sam and Bucky nodded, grabbed their keys from the kitchen counter, and left for the party.

Bucky took a deep breath as he stepped inside the party. There were a lot of familiar faces which put him at ease and Nat greeted them with a round of tequila shots which helped cut his nerves. He had to stop overthinking. He kept replaying Sam’s word in his head, just be yourself.

Bucky walked into the kitchen in search of a drink when he saw Y/N pulling a tray of jello shots out of the fridge.

“Hey Bucky!” she smiled at him. “Jello shot?” she offered him.

“Only if you take one with me,” he replied.

“You don’t have to twist my arm.” She handed him a plastic ramekin filled with blue jello and she took one for herself. “Here’s to…a great night,” she said, holding up her shot to tap Bucky’s.

“Cheers,” he responded and they both swallowed the tainted gelatin.

“They taste okay? Too strong?” she asked.

He shook his head, “Perfect jello to vodka ratio.”

She smiled, “Good, I’m gonna go pass the rest of these around. Oh, there’s a keg with cups out in the hall or if you want, you can help yourself to my secret stash of Miller High Life in the fridge,” she winked.

“Thanks Y/N.” She walked out of the kitchen to the party and Bucky helped himself to a beer from the fridge. He stayed in the kitchen for a moment to catch his breath. He considered that to be a successful interaction and it gave him the confidence he needed to continue.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard someone calling his name. He joined the party in the living room and found a folding table sprinkled with red solo cups.

“Come play beer pong,” Steve waved him over, as Natasha set up the game. Bucky was never one to turn down a challenge and moved to the opposite side of the table.

“I need a partner,” Bucky scanned the room looking for Sam.

“Oh I’ll play!” a familiar voice said. Bucky froze and noticed the knowing smirk on Natasha's face. Y/N slid in next to him and elbowed his arm, “You think we can take ‘em?” she said.

“Absolutely. I hear you’re a stud at beer pong.”

She smiled and shrugged, “I won’t deny that.”

Y/N and Natasha each took a ball for the face off that would determine who would shoot first. Y/N sank a cup easily, while Nat’s shot hit the rim of a cup and bounced into Bucky’s hands.

“You wanna shoot first?” he asked her.

“No, you go,” she offered. Bucky lined himself up at the table and took his first shot, sinking the front cup.

“Oh, we’ve got this,” Y/N smiled. She stood at the center of the table and tossed the ball with a casual ease. Her shot sailed through the air and easily landed in one of the back corner cups. Steve and Natasha groaned in tandem as they pulled the corner cup away and rolled the ping pong balls back to the other side of the table.

They beat Steve and Nat with ease and welcomed their next challengers, Thor and Loki. The two continued making shots at a rapid pace and they found themselves running the table as a line of people formed to play them next. As the victories poured in, they became more comfortable with each other. The celebrations started with high fives which quickly turned into double high fives, and then suddenly, Y/N was lightly massaging Bucky’s shoulders as he focused on the cups for his upcoming shot. The contact intensified as they secured a come from behind win by sinking the last two cups back to back. Y/N made the last shot and immediately jumped into Bucky’s arms and he picked her up and spun her around. It happened so naturally and Bucky couldn’t help but notice his nerves had evaporated away and his overactive mind had shut off.

Eventually Nat came in and put an end to beer pong, clearing the table for flip cup instead. Bucky left the room to use the bathroom and when he returned, Y/N was nowhere to be found. He assumed she’d join in on flip cup but he didn't see her in the crowd. He caught Natasha’s eye and like a mindreader she signaled to the back porch and gave him a sly smile. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and headed outside.

Y/N was out on the back deck, studying the night sky. When the door opened, she turned around and eased up when she noticed it was Bucky.

“Hey,” was all he said. He stood next to her and placed a can of beer in front of her.

“Thanks,” she said, cracking the beer and taking a sip.

“Not a fan of flip cup?” he asked, trying to make conversation.

“I just needed a break from winning,” she joked.

He chuckled and said, “We make a pretty good team, huh?”

“We do,” she smiled at him before returning her attention to the sky.

“But seriously, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m good. I was just feeling a little claustrophobic in there. Needed some fresh air.”

“I get that. I can leave if you want some alone time. I’ll guard the door and make sure no one else bothers you.”

“No you should stay. It’s nice to have some company.”

They sat in silence for a while, staring up at the sky. Bucky drank his beer to find the courage to speak up.

“The stars are really bright tonight. You can see a bunch of the constellations.”

“You know constellations?” she asked. He nodded and she asked, “Will you show me?”

He moved a little closer to her and pointed up to the sky, “See that really bright star right there? That’s the North Star. And that’s the end of the Little Dipper’s tail.”

“Okay I see that.”

“And then from the North Star, if you move to the right…that first star forms the bottom of the big dipper.”

“Oh wow.”

“Now look a little bit lower and you’ll see three stars real close together in a row.”

She was quiet and her brow furrowed as she scanned the sky. “I’m not…” she trailed off, “I’m not seeing it.”

Bucky took a step closer to her and he hovered his head right above her shoulder to better see from her vantage point. He pointed to the three stars in question and connected them with his finger.

“See right here?” he spoke into her ear.

“Oh…yeah I see it.”

“That’s Orion’s belt. And if you move up there…those are the shoulders. And down here are the legs.” He traced the outline of the constellation as he spoke.

“That’s amazing,” she breathed. She turned her head towards him, their faces inches apart. “How do you know all this?”

“I took an astronomy class last semester.”

She let out a small laugh and he did the same before adding, “I know it’s not a great story.”

“No but it’s cool that you know this stuff. Show me some more. He continued to show her the constellations that he knew until he eventually ran out. They stood there together in silence, hearing nothing but the muffled music from the party, reminding them of the other world waiting for them inside.

“So what’s your plan after graduation?” she asked him.

“I haven’t quite figured it out yet. I know I’m gonna go back to New York and stay with my Ma for a bit. Other than that I don’t really know. What about you?”

“I’m heading to New York too actually. I got a job working in finance on Wall Street.”

“Wow, that’s impressive.”

She shrugged it off, “It’s fine. It’s mostly just because of my parents’ connections that I got the offer. I’m not even sure if that’s what I want to do.”

“Yeah but at least it’s a start. If you don’t like it you can always make a change.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“Well maybe I’ll see you around, in New York,” he added.

“Yeah, that’d be great.” She studied him for a moment and he tried to ignore it but he couldn’t.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“I’ve never seen this side of you before. Truthfully, up until a few hours ago I didn’t think you liked me very much.”

He looked at her with a confused look, “That’s impossible. Everyone likes you.”

“I don’t know, you’ve always been a little cold towards me. And I wasn’t sure if it was something I did or said or if you just didn’t like me. But I’d like for us to be friends.”

“Y/N…” he started, running his hands through his hair as he reviewed the bullet points in his head.

“Oh god, you don’t want to be friends do you?”

“No, no it's not that. But I want to tell you that-”

“Hey Buck, ready to head home?” Sam interrupted, sticking his head out the back door.

“Yeah just give me a minute.”

“Come on man, pizza place closes in 5.”

“I’ll…I’ll meet you there.”

“Oh it’s okay Bucky. You can go. I should clean up a little bit anyway,” she said. Bucky gave her a forced smile and walked toward Sam to head back inside.

The minute they reached the street, Bucky punched Sam in the arm.

“You fucking asshole!”

“What the hell man?” Sam said.

“I was just about to tell her.”

“You were out there for hours man, I figured you’ asked her out already.”

Bucky sighed, “I’ll never have that chance again.”

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll all work out.” Sam was always so happy-go-lucky when it came to love and it frustrated Bucky to no end. As they walked home, he tried to focus on the positives instead of his missed opportunity.

Nat woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. Steve was propped up next to her, reading his latest World War II book.

“Good morning,” he said and she groaned in response.

“Did I really leave my own party early?” she asked.

“You did,” he confirmed.

“Why did you let me do that?” she whined.

“You were insistent and you know how you get when you’ve made up your mind.”

“I guess that’s true,” she took a deep breath and added, “I should probably get back and help Y/N clean up.” She climbed out of the bed and gathered her things, determined to get home before the hangover truly hit her.

When she went to grab her keys from the counter top, she noticed something. There was a piece of notebook paper folded in half with her roommate’s name on it. Natasha snatched the paper, opened it up and read the first sentence. It was a love letter. From Bucky. Nat didn’t read any further, but she slipped the note into her bag as she left. She knew this was probably never meant for Y/N’s eyes, but she thought Bucky could use a little nudge in the right direction.

Bucky woke up with a smile on his face. Despite how his night ended, he played over the memories of the night before and realized he connected with Y/N. He felt like there was a definite potential for more, so he decided to make another opportunity for himself. But first, he wanted to reread his words. He went to grab the letter from his dresser only to find it wasn’t there.

“Ugh, Sam…” he said to himself. He walked out to the living room searching for the letter. “Where did he put it…” he said to himself. He pounded on Sam’s door, waking him up. “What?” he said through the door.

“Where did you put the note?”

“The note?”

“Yes…the note…”

Sam opened the door, “I thought I put it on the counter when we left.”

“Well it’s not there.”

“It has to be there,” Sam said, rushing past Bucky. He glanced around the room and it was nowhere to be found.

“It’s not here,” Bucky reiterated.

“I’m sure Steve just threw it out. You know that he doesn’t like clutter.”

Bucky stared daggers into him and Sam retreated into his room. Bucky tried to ignore his unease and focus on his next move.

“Hey there roomie. How ya feeling?” Y/N asked as Nat trudged through the door.

“How do you think?”

“There’s coffee in the kitchen if that helps.” Nat poured herself a cup and joined Y/N on the couch in the living room.

“I have something for you.” Natasha pulled out the letter from her purse and handed it over.

“What is this?”

“Just read it,” Nat said, trying not to obviously study her roommate’s reaction.

Y/N read the letter and her expression shifted multiple times, ranging from flattery to confusion to happiness. She subconsciously put her hand over her heart as a blush crept up her face. When she was finished, she looked up at Natasha in confusion.

“What is this, Nat?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, I didn’t read it but I found it sitting on the counter at the guys’ house when I left.”

“What am I supposed to do now?”

“Go talk to Bucky,” Nat said, as if it was obvious what she should do next. Y/N sat there, contemplating what her options were and concluded that Natasha was right. Y/N went to take a long shower in an effort to rinse off her hangover and delay the awkward talk she was about to have with Bucky.

Bucky was working on crafting a text to Y/N when there was a knock at the door. He stood to answer it, assuming it was Nat to hang out with Steve, but he was surprised to find Y/N standing on his doorstep. He then realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt and his cheeks immediately flushed as he noticed her looking at his sculpted abdomen.

“Hi Bucky,” she breathed, finally meeting his eyes. “Can we talk?”

He scratched the back of his neck and Y/N watched his bicep flex and tried to hide the impact his muscles were having on her.

“Come on in,” he opened the door for her and she made herself comfortable on the couch. “I’ll be right back,” he announced as he fled to his room to grab a shirt. He re-emerged into the living room with a skin tight t-shirt and sat next down with her on the couch.

“So what’s up?” he started.

“Well…” she said, as she pulled out the letter.

“Shit,” he exhaled. “Where did you get that?” He immediately tensed up.

“Nat gave it to me.”

He froze for a second, trying to understand how that happened and when he solved the puzzle he immediately put his head in his hands, “She must’ve grabbed it from the counter.”

“It doesn’t matter how I got it, but can we talk about it?”

“Y/N, you were never supposed to see that.”

“Well why not?” He looked up at that. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What was I supposed to say? ‘Y/N, I think I’m in love with you?’”

Her breath caught in her throat. Hearing those words come out of his mouth was unexpected. But what was more unexpected were the butterflies dancing around her stomach as her cheeks flushed.

“Is this how you really feel?” she asked, holding up the letter.

He made eye contact with her but all he could do was nod. She let out a deep sigh and he couldn’t look at her. He leaned forward, forearms on his thighs, as he stared down at the floor. She didn’t feel the same way. He could tell from her demeanor that she was about to let him down lightly.

“Bucky…” she reached out and placed a hand over his, “it’s just that…we’ve wasted so much time.”

He looked up at her, waiting for more, “I’ve had a crush on you forever dude.”

“What?” He looked at her in disbelief.

“As much as I enjoy spending time with your roommates, there was a reason I was always hanging around with you guys.”

“So…what are you saying?” he said, unable to form coherent thoughts.

She did the first thing that came to mind. She reached over and placed her hands on his jaw. She gently rubbed the stubble on his cheeks with her thumb and she said, “I’m saying that I like you.” She smiled and looked at him with adoration and Bucky couldn’t help himself.

He slowly leaned forward, giving her plenty of time to pull back. But she didn’t. It almost felt like she was pulling him in ever so slightly. He paused when they were centimeters apart, more out of uncertainty than anything. But she closed the gap, unable to stand the tension any longer. Their lips brushed together, softly at first. And then he felt her mouth curve up into a smile and he gained confidence. He moved one arm around her waist and his other hand landed on her jaw as he intensified the kiss. She moved her hand from his jaw to the back of his neck and her fingers played with his hair. The two pulled away, out of breath and a huge smile spread across Bucky’s face.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Mmm…I think I do,” she said, glancing at the letter.

“You’re never going to let that go are you.”

“Are you kidding? I loved it. No one’s ever done that for me before. Even if it wasn’t completely intentional.”

He kissed her again and he didn’t want this moment to ever end. Bucky realized he’d have to thank Nat, and Sam for that matter. Without them he wouldn’t be here. They parted yet again and Bucky said, “Not that I want you to leave, but you should probably go home and get ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“I’m taking you out to dinner tonight.”

“Really?” she beamed at him.

He planted a sweet kiss on the tip of her nose, “Darling, I’ve been waiting years to take you out. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

She pecked his lips and said, “Pick me up at 8.” She gathered her things and he walked her to the front door. She stepped outside and then turned around before she walked away.

“I’m really glad you wrote that letter, even if you weren’t actually going to give it to me.”

He nodded and pulled her into a tight hug, “Me too.”

More Posts from Happycat547 and Others

happycat547

1 year ago

Honey Girl. Chapter Two.

Chapter One. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Pairing - Dad's Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Chapter Synopsis - You and Bucky try to navigate what it means to be soulmates - and how difficult it is to keep your hands off each other.

Warnings - smut. cursing.

Word Count - 4k

Author's Note - part two!! thank you SO much for all of the love on part one - it has made me immensely happy. you're all the sweetest and i'm so grateful. i'm going on vacation in a few days, so i'm taking a hiatus for a few weeks as i won't have cell service. so, consider this my parting gift to you <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3 please, send me your thoughts, predictions, desires!! I will get excited with you!!

Masterlist. Inbox.

Sunlight streams through the billowing white curtains, rousing you slowly. The gentle breeze cools the room, salt sticking to the air. Warmth is seeping into the glass of the windows, encouraging you to kick your sheets to the foot of your bed, limbs stretching and rolling.

You wake, and for a moment, you feel perfectly at peace. You feel light, tranquil, relaxed. You flex your neck from side to side, yawning as you do it. You notice that the sun is already up, beaming into your bedroom. It's going to be a very warm day, you think. I better pack sunblock.

You glance to where your bag is thrown haphazardly on the floor, contents spilling everywhere. It's unlike you, to not put something away properly. You take pride in being a tidy person. You must have been exhausted when you got home last night.

That's when it hits you.

Bucky.

The events of yesterday coming crashing down around you like a tidal wave. Hearts racing, hands interlacing, lips melding. Bodies tangling, breaths matching, knees buckling. Two souls, tied together forever.

Your Tethering.

To Bucky. Your Dad's best friend Bucky.

His absence is suddenly all you can think about. He's not here, and you feel like half of your heart is missing. You ache. There's a discomfort that you know can only be cured by the presence of your soulmate.

You're deep in thought when your phone rings, startling you. It's Bucky.

"Mornin' sugar," he drawls. The low tone of his voice is like molten honey, gorgeous and golden.

"Good morning, Buck."

You hear him exhale at the sound of your voice.

"I know we said we'd meet at ten, but can we make it earlier?" he asks. Then, quieter, "Feel like I can't breathe without you."

He murmurs the last part, as if it's a secret. Something sacred.

"Of course, Buck. I can be ready by nine?"

"Thanks, sweet girl. I'll pick you up?"

"Perfect. See you then."

"See you then."

It's almost painful to hang up the phone. It's like there's a gravitational force in The Universe, willing you against it. You ignore it defiantly and press the red button, swinging your legs over the side of the bed.

There's something in your gut telling you that this might just be the first day of the rest of your life. You certainly can't go back to the way things were. You're not sure if you want to.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

Bucky arrives at 8:45.

You're in the bathroom with the door closed, so you don't hear him pull up. You feel it. Like a magnetism, alerting you to his whereabouts. You breathe a little easier immediately, knowing he's outside.

You grab your bag and the picnic and pull on your shoes, eager to see him. You feel like a teenager again, giddy with anticipation. Apart from, this isn't your average first date. No, this is your last first date ever. This is a first date with the man you're bound to spend the rest of your life with. No pressure, you tell yourself. One step at a time.

Your heart kicks up in double time, thundering against your ribcage. You inhale deeply, cracking your knuckles. You can do this. It's just Bucky.

You bound down your stairs, practically running to his truck. Bucky's leaning against the passenger door, the wind ruffling his hair, sunlight reflecting off his steely blue eyes. He's wearing shorts and a white button up, which is blowing gently in the breeze. His sleeves are pushed up his forearms, exposing his gorgeous tanned skin. He has several shirt buttons undone, accentuating his broad chest, sunglasses tucked into the breast pocket. He looks so handsome. So classically elegant. Like he belongs in an old movie - a perfect leading man.

He eyes you carefully, gauging your reaction. You can tell he doesn't want to overstep, worried about pushing you too far too fast. You walk over and run your fingers across his exposed chest gently, tracing a path up his neck until you're caressing his cheek. His stubble tickles your fingertips, causing a smile to curl at the corners of your mouth. You finally meet his gaze, and all your stress is forgotten. You feel peaceful again.

"Hi," you whisper.

"Hi, pretty girl," he murmurs back, hands finding your waist. "You alright?"

"I'm okay. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," he grins. "So, how do you feel about a day of sailing? You, me, and the ocean, baby."

"I think that sounds perfect."

He opens the car door for you, helping you up and into the passenger seat. He climbs in, clicking on his seat belt and starting the engine. Before he pulls away, he turns and looks at you, holding your stare for a moment. Bucky reaches for you, lacing your fingers together, resting your intertwined hands on your thigh. He begins to drive away, taking you towards the ocean. Towards your future.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

You know nothing about sailing.

Luckily, you don't need to. Bucky's quite content to keep you sitting pretty on the top deck while he does all of the work, pulling and tying and knotting. The crisp white sails billow in the wind, the ocean waves providing a steady, constant soundtrack. Birds fly overhead, sunshine beaming down, the wood underneath you warm and smooth. It's paradise.

You're soaking up the sun rays when you hear a click. You sit up to see Bucky holding his film camera, pointed right at you.

"Creep," you tease.

"Just want to have something to look back on. Our first day as soulmates. It's an occasion, you know," he grins.

He moves across the boat to sit next to you, thigh pressed up against yours. He's so close you can taste the spearmint on his breath. You tangle a hand in his hair, caressing the back of his head.

"I brought you a few new things to try," you tell him. "Some recipes I'm testing. I want your honest opinion. No sugar coating. Promise?"

"I promise," he winks, holding up a scouts honour. "I wouldn't lie to you, honey."

You reach over and grab your picnic basket, unwrapping various beeswax packages and laying them out in front of you.

"Okay - we have white chocolate and pistachio muffins, raspberry and lemon macarons, earl grey and lavender cookies and carrot and cinnamon cake."

You glance over at Bucky, expecting him to be deciding what to try first. Instead, you find him watching you carefully, gentle smile etched across his face.

"What?" you laugh.

"Nothing," he beams. "I just... I love it when you start talking about food. You're passionate. You light up."

"Don't make it weird," you joke, slightly taken aback by his honesty. He did promise not to sugar coat.

He reaches for a macaron, eager to try one after you mentioned them yesterday. He pops one in his mouth, and lets out a groan that can only be described as pornographic.

"Fuck," he moans. "This might be the best thing I've ever eaten."

"You promised you wouldn't lie," you laugh.

"I'm not," he chuckles, placing his hand over his heart. "I swear to you. These things should be used as medicine. They'd cure anything."

"Shut up," you tease bashfully, bumping your shoulder into his.

He tries the other sweets one by one, complimenting you immensely. He's so specific in the way he commends your baking. He comments on certain flavours, and textures, and the way everything melts on his tongue. He really takes the time to think about what he says. It's so intimate.

"You're gonna do this for a living, right?" he asks, turning to face you.

"I hope so," you confess. "It's all I want to do. Going to culinary school was a huge risk, but I did it. It was difficult, but they were also the best four years of my life. I just learned so much. I want to put it all into practice."

"I think you should. It'd be such a waste if you didn't. You're so talented, sugar."

"Thanks, Buck," you grin. "I just don't know where to start."

He thinks for a moment.

"If you could do anything, anything in the world - what would you do?"

He's looking at you so intensely, you almost want to shy away. His steel blue eyes are boring into you, reading your mind, figuring out your soul.

"I'd... I'd open a bakery of my own. I want a lot that overlooks the ocean. With big windows."

Bucky smiles gently, adoration written across his face.

"I'd be your most loyal customer," he vows. "Oh, I have a better idea - I'll be your quality control. I'll taste test everything before you sell it. You know, just in case."

"Just in case," you laugh. "Right."

"It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it," he winks.

The sound of your laughter is like dopamine to Bucky. It fires off neurons in his brain, receptors buzzing and alight. He almost feels drunk off the sound, floating above ground.

You relax into him, laying down and resting your head in his lap. He's warm, and soft, and so comfortable. You could lie here forever.

He runs his fingers through your hair gently, playing with the strands. The repetitive rocking of the boat lulls you into an easy sleep, the sunlight wrapping around you, taking the place of a blanket. Bucky watches you drift off, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

A particularly strong gust of wind wakes you, rousing you from sleep. Your fingers are interlinked with Bucky's, head still resting on his strong thighs.

"How long was I out?" you ask, looking up at him.

"Like, twenty minutes? You looked peaceful, thought I'd let you rest."

"Sorry, Buck," you chuckle.

"Hey, don't apologise. I'll take it as a compliment. You know, they say you only sleep around the people you feel safe with."

"They say a lot of fuckin' things," you laugh, repeating his words from yesterday.

"I do, though," you say after a moment. "Feel safe with you. It's not just the soulmate thing. I always have."

Bucky leans down to press his forehead to yours, closing his eyes. He pulls away and kisses the spot where you were just connected.

"We should talk about us," you murmur, sitting up to face him.

"Uh oh. Are you breaking up with me?" Bucky jokes, nudging your knee with his.

"Yeah, right," you scoff. "As if you'd be so lucky. You're stuck with me, I'm afraid."

"I'll survive," he winks. "But we should. Talk about us."

You look at each other for a moment, carefully. You notice that the ocean is reflecting in Bucky's eyes, waves gleaming and blue.

"I don't know where to start," you whisper.

"Maybe start at the beginning," he suggests, reaching out to rest his palm on your thigh, fingertips rubbing comforting circles into your skin.

"I... I think - I think we should do exactly that. Start at the beginning."

He nods at you reassuringly, urging you to continue.

"I want to start slow. Really slow. I know we already know each other, but this... this is different. We don't know each other like this."

"Like soulmates," he agrees. "It's a whole other level. A league of its own."

"Exactly. I know we're Tethered, but, I think we should treat this like a normal relationship. We should date, and just... take this step by step."

"One step at a time," he confirms. "Prepare yourself, honey. I'm about to date the hell outta you."

"Someone save me," you laugh, throwing your head back. "All those poor girls that have come before me - they had to put up with this?"

He laughs with you, the sound rumbling in his chest.

"Trust me, sugar, you're different."

Bucky leans forward and slots his lips to yours, hands going to your waist to pull you closer.

Kissing your soulmate is unlike any other feeling. It's complete serenity. Two bodies, designed by The Universe to fit together perfectly.

Your fingers thread through Bucky's hair as you move to sit in his lap, straddling him. You grind your hips forward, illiciting a groan from the both of you.

Bucky slips his tongue into your mouth, tasting the sugar there. He can't get enough. You're so sweet and soft underneath his hands, underneath his tongue. He wants more.

He tips you backwards, so you're lying flat on the deck. Bucky moves to kneel in between your legs, prying them open gently. He kisses his way from your ankle to your knee, occasionally nipping at your flesh. He likes the idea of there being a mark on you that he left. He feels more protective of you than he ever has of anyone. The feeling vibrates through his bones, fires up his nerve endings. He needs to feel every inch of your skin as soon as possible, or he's convinced he'll burst into flames.

He smooths his hands up your thighs, fingers catching in the waistband of your shorts. He shimmies them down your legs, and inhales sharply at the sight before him. You're laid out on the deck of his boat like a goddess, the white shirt adorning your body matching the white lace underwear underneath. The sun rays are beating down, illuminating you, making you glow from the inside out. Bucky can't breathe, looking at you. He feels like all of the oxygen has been stolen from his lungs, replaced with pure desire.

You're breathless, panting, chest heaving. You're shaking with anticipation, willing him to do something. Anything.

"Bucky," you whine. "Please."

He's never heard a prettier sound. It's like angel song, the way you say his name.

"Patience, sweets. I thought we were taking it slow."

"Asshole," you laugh, poking him in the chest with your toe. "You're a hypocrite."

"Am I?" he smirks, running his fingertips across the inside of your thighs.

"Yes. You can't kiss me like that and then tell me to have patience."

"My apologies, ma'am."

He leans over and kisses you again, biting your bottom lip as he pulls away. Bucky slips your underwear down your legs and tucks them into the pocket of his shorts, ignoring your scoff as you watch him do it.

"Come here, pretty baby," he murmurs, tugging at your hips to pull you closer to him.

He nudges your core with his nose, inhaling deeply. It's filthy, the action, but it makes you ache with want. He licks into the crease of your thigh next, tasting the salt on your skin. Your hand flies to his hair, tugging the chocolate strands. You whine again, and Bucky commits the sound to memory.

He surprises you by sucking your clit gently, causing your hips to buck up towards his mouth. He splays one hand across your stomach, holding you down. He uses his other hand to insert a finger into you, groaning at your warmth. He crooks it up, and you keen.

"I know, baby, I know," he coos, adding a second finger.

You're not sure if it's because of the glaring sunlight or because of Bucky, but there's a thin sheen of sweat coating your skin, dripping down your temple. You're burning from the inside out, white hot heat running through your veins.

He thrusts both fingers in and out of you steadily, curling them on the up stroke. You throw your head back, hips wriggling and writhing.

"Where you going, pretty girl?" he drawls. "Come here - that's it."

He pulls you back to him, fingers never stopping. He looks up at you, and notices that you've thrown a hand over your face, shielding yourself.

"Don't go shy on me now," he practically purrs, smiling when you move your arm away. "Most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Fuck," you moan, suddenly glad you're in the middle of the ocean. The sounds you're letting out are filthy.

"I know, pretty baby. I know."

His fingers push you closer and closer to the edge, speeding up slightly. You're whining, keening, hips bucking up into him. You can't stay still. You feel like you're on fire, red hot electricity running through you. It's never been like this with anyone before. It never will be again.

"You're close, honey, I can feel it. You're almost there," he drawls. "Atta girl. Come on, baby. You got it. Good girl."

His low, honeyed words throw you into your climax, back arching off the sun warmed wood. Bucky talks you through it, encouraging and praising you in hushed murmurs. You see stars, bright white patterns flashing behind your eyelids. The world goes quiet for a moment, and all you feel is peace.

Bucky brings you back to reality by rubbing soothing circles into the bare skin of your thigh, still muttering softly. He lets you catch your breath before leaning over and kissing you gently.

"You okay, sugar?"

You smile at him in a daze, still floating on air.

"I'm good, Buck. Very good, actually."

He laughs at your response, moving your hair away from your face. You sit up to look at him, admiring him carefully.

"You're so pretty," you whisper. "I mean, I've always known it. But now, it's so... blinding. You're the most beautiful person in the world."

He's not sure how to process your words. He's never felt so loved, so safe, so appreciated before. It's overwhelming. He doesn't know what to say - so instead, he kisses you hard.

"You're the sweetest girl in the world, you know that right?" he whispers against your lips.

He moves to sit behind you, so your back is resting against his chest. You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. He smells like warmth, and salt, and home.

"I don't think we should tell my parents," you say lowly, afraid to ruin the moment. "Not yet, anyway."

"I agree," he reassures. "I think we should figure this out first. Figure us out."

You lean up and peck his lips gently, pulling away to trace your fingertips over the contours of his face.

"It's gonna take a while to figure this out, isn't it?"

"That's the thing, sweet girl. We have all the time in the world."

You relax back into his arms, letting his steady heartbeat lull you into complete tranquility.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

You spend all day on the boat with Bucky, soaking up the sun. Your shirts are billowing in the wind, hair blowing in every direction. The ocean rocks you both in routine motion, gentle and calming.

He teaches you the basics of sailing, sitting knee to knee with you while you repeatedly tie knots into pieces of rope. He stands behind you comfortingly as you pull and tug at the rigging, supporting you only when you ask for help.

The two of you sit tangled together on the deck, enjoying your picnic. You take a moment to rub sunblock into Bucky's shoulders, ignoring the heat that rises in your chest when he groans in delight. He's irresistible. This is more than just lust. This is a magnetism, an almost animalistic connection. It's quite literally written in the stars.

The both of you are clearly reluctant to go home. You sit in Bucky's truck outside your apartment for hours, talking about nothing and everything. You don't invite him upstairs. You know that if you do, you'll jump his bones instantly. You've both agreed to take this slow. You have to start being strict with yourselves, or you'll just keep ending up in bed.

Eventually, your stomach rumbles, making Bucky chuckle.

"You should go. Eat something."

"I know. I just... I like being with you."

He leans over the centre console to press a kiss to your lips, revelling in the way you taste like the ocean breeze.

"There's no one else in the world I'd rather be with," he murmurs against your mouth.

You pull away and take a deep breath, preparing to leave Bucky for tonight.

"Thank you, for today. It's been perfect."

"Perfect day for a perfect girl," he winks, making you both laugh.

"One step at a time."

"All the time in the world," he echoes.

"Goodnight, Buck," you whisper, moving in closer to press your forehead to his.

"Goodnight, honey girl," he whispers back, pecking your lips quickly.

He jumps out of the drivers side to help you down from the truck, holding your hand carefully. You smile at the déjà vu. He does too.

You look back at him once more before closing your front door. He's already looking at you, his eyes never once leaving your frame, smile never leaving his face.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

You're curled up on the couch when your phone rings, startling you from your peace. You look at the caller ID in confusion.

"Stella? Hey - you okay?"

"Hey, you. Long time no see, huh?"

"It's been a while," you laugh. "I didn't expect a call from you."

"I'm sorry we haven't talked in so long. I've been super busy - I'm opening my own café! It has a bookshop inside it too - oh it's gorgeous, you wouldn't even believe it."

"That sounds amazing, Stella. I'm so happy for you, wow."

"I'm actually calling because I have something to ask you."

"Ask away, Stell."

"I have a sort of... proposition for you. An offer, if you will."

"You're really building the anticipation here," you chuckle.

"Sorry, sorry! So, I'm gonna need a Head Baker. I can't do it, because I'll be manager, and I'm the owner which is a tough job in itself. Opening a café is fucking difficult, you know!" she laughs, before continuing. "You'd have complete creative control - you'd design your own bakes, everything would be completely down to you. There's quite literally only one person in this world that I'd want to do this job, and it's you."

You almost can't believe what she's telling you. It sounds perfect. It sounds like a dream.

"Stella - are you sure? This is a huge deal. You want me?"

"I only want you. I can't picture working alongside anyone else. We made such a good team in culinary school, and we always said we'd find each other in the future."

"I... I don't even know what to say."

"Say yes!" she encourages, giggling down the phone.

"Yes!" you echo, giddy with joy. "God, Stella, yes!"

You're smiling from ear to ear, unable to wipe the grin off your face. Your dream job has been presented to you on a silver platter. You'd be stupid not to take it.

"I mean - when do I start? What should I wear? Do you want a set menu, or can I change it up all the time? Vegan options? Gluten free?"

"I can send you all of the boring stuff in an email - contracts, salary information, all that shit. You can quite literally do whatever the fuck you want, girl. I trust you completely. I trust your culinary skills even more."

"Oh my god, I'm so excited. Thank you, Stella. Seriously. This is just amazing."

"I can't wait to have you here with me again!"

You process for a moment, trying to make sense of what she just said.

"Wait... what? Where?"

"In California. The café is here, in California!"

You can't hear her next words due to the ringing in your ears. Your chest tightens, your hands ball into fists, your breathing becomes ragged.

There's a million thoughts racing through your mind, and you can't quite get a firm grasp on any of them.

Bucky would never leave this place. This is his home. I can't ask him to abandon his life here - I wouldn't want to. We've been soulmates for two days. What about his job? His friends? Would I leave everything behind and move across the country for him? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I can't have my cake and eat it too. He'd give everything up for me in a heartbeat - I can't let him. It's not fair.

You're suddenly intensely aware - you have to make a choice.

Bucky or your dreams.

Tag List -

@lillytracy6996 @securegorgon @roostersforevergirl @povlvr @val-writesstuff @dreadfulxives18 @1deadpool26 @abbygraceasd @nyutasgirl @mavrellover91 @winterslove1917 @f-this42 @skewedcherries @noisesinthedark @kandis-mom @black-cat-2 @harrystylesandthegoobs @vladsgirlxx @h0nestly-though @arienotari @nash-dara @wandaneedstherapy @galaxy-dusk @justherefortheficandsmut @cremebruleequeen @cjand10 @buggy14 @avengers-fixation @blueberrybambi @beautiful-loserr @sarah1barnes @miss-rebel-without-applause @ragingrainbowshipl @shamrockqueen @savemeroman @jenn-f @8crazy-freak8 @daddyjackfrost @openup-yourmind @adangerousbalance @mandijo17 @daddylorianisastateofmind @rcarbo1 @casa-boiardi @spideegwen @navs-bhat @mssbridgerton @asuni921 @middle-of-the-earth @mfrnchsk

tag list continued here <3

3K notes View Post

happycat547

9 years ago

If you want to get to know me for real?! Check My tumblr Not My Facebook.

0 notes View Post

happycat547

1 year ago

Accidents Happen Series Masterlist

Summary: Reader is accident prone, comes from a sheltered background, and has been with the Avengers almost a year when Steve finds Bucky and brings him to the Avengers Tower (post CATWS, pre CACW). Bucky takes an interest in the reader’s quirkiness. (mostly fluff)

Part One: Accidents Happen

Part Two: Melt With You

Part Three: Evasive Maneuvers

Part Four: Never Tear Us Apart

Part Five: Unavailable

Part Six: No Light, No Light

Part Seven: Tabula Rasa

Part Eight: Somethin’ to Talk About

Part Nine: No One Like You

Part Ten: Happy Accidents (End)

__________________

Full Masterlist (avengerofyourheart)

1K notes View Post

happycat547

1 year ago

EVERYBODY STAY CALM !!!,

Ahhhh so excited 🤯😍 i KNOOOW it will be great

and if I said… you’ll get honey girl chapter eight on saturday 30th march… how would we feel about that… <3

and if I said… i’ll have a sneak peek for you over the next couple of days to tide you over until next week… how would we feel about that <3

35 notes View Post

happycat547

1 year ago

I Hate My Job - Part 2

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary - You are a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent that gets assigned the worst job, in your opinion.

Series Warnings - Violence, Death, Bloodshed, Guns, Knives, Sexytimes, and Cursing

Word Count - 1.6K

You walked into the compound at exactly 8:00 am, hoping to have a quiet day to spend in the conference room filing the reports from the last mission. God’s Gift was waiting for you in the conference room, so you knew today was not going to start off on a good note.

“Mr. Stark, is there something you need?” you asked as you set your bag on the conference room table.

“Actually, Agent (Y/L/N), there is,” Stark replied. “I’ve just had a talk with Director Coulson about you.”

“Did you try to get me fired?” you asked, trying to keep the excitement out of your voice.

63 notes View Post

happycat547

11 months ago

828 notes View Post

happycat547

9 years ago

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

(via difficult)

83K notes View Post

happycat547

9 years ago

Most Overlooked Signs That Your Girlfriend is Cheating

82 notes View Post

happycat547

1 year ago

as you wish, ma’am - (ppt)

prompt: SOCIAL MEDIA AU || Bucky Barnes fucks up and sends you the wrong presentation file.

warnings: dumbassery, swearing

note: this is now an entry to my pumpkin’s #mypassionsarenysins1k challenge [OPPOSITES ATTRACT AU]. my lovely @mypassionsarenysins i am so proud of you i love you

as you wish, ma’am - masterlist || ko-fi