Hiraya-hiraeth - Untitled

No because pride and prejudice isn't "I changed myself for you so you would love me back." It's "your blatant rejection and disdain for me made me realize things about myself no one had ever been bold enough to tell me so I sat down and evaluated all my behavior patterns and why they came about and came to the realization myself that I had to work on myself. Also I don't expect you to love me now that I'm a work in progress, so I'm just going to do nice things for you because I don't like seeing you hurt." No wonder P&P fans refuse to settle.

!!!!!!!

Free Palestine Reading List

Haymarket Books: Free Ebooks for a Free Palestine!

Verso Books: Solidarity with Palestine: Free Resources and Further Reading

OR Books: THE FREE PALESTINE READING LIST

City Lights Books: Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear by Mosab Abu Toha

How does one go back to the things they once loved?

I've been trying to write. I've been trying to read. I've been trying to drink coffee.

I've been trying to trace my steps back to my first loves.

I didn't know going back to those things that you once loved was hard. It scared me how things that I once said were a part of my soul feel like strangers.

Going back to things I loved before is like meeting an old version of me that I didn't even know I'd forgotten.

It's painful. But it also feels like I am slowly healing.

I love so seriously. When I say I love you, I mean it with more of me than you can imagine. It breaks me when people play along, and I learn it was just a game to them. Don't get me wrong, I am all poems, and romantic notes, flowers, candies, inside jokes, personal little games, but if I give you my heart, it is all vulnerability and trust. I'm letting my walls down so I can give you the love and the me I feel like you deserve. I'm letting go. I'm holding on for dear life. I'm tired of being heartbroken because everyone wants to pretend to offer that kind of love, but nobody's actually delivering

1.1.24 - writing progress & new year's resolutions

I've recently decided to try and write a little every day: so today I sat down and put on a timer (I use this one) but I changed the pomodoro settings to 10 minute work time and 1 minute break (with a 5 minute long break). I wrote 1,3k in a sitting! This is the most I've written in so long.

here are some writing things I want to try in the new year: - keeping a writing progress chart - doing ten minute writing sprints with 1 minute pauses - having conversations out loud on a voice memo and retyping it later on - writing scenes in the order I feel like writing them and reorganizing them later - having a journal of random scenes that I can put into stories (keeping track of my random prompts) - keeping a word count diary

on the other hand, here are my writing (related) resolutions! - post consistently on tumblr, both with journal (like this one) entries and prompts - to try and keep writing even if it's bad. you can be a bad author, or you can not be one at all (though frankly I don't *really* believe this. but it's a resolution, so I'll try) - engage my tumblr community! (would anyone be interested in sharing their own prompts in responses to asks?) - this is The Year (like last year and the one before). I'm going to Write A Book. - stay in love with writing. even if it means knowing when to stop, or trying to start again.

but cheers to everyone I've met in 2024, who have come, and cheers to those who have stayed. I wish you the best creative year yet. until tomorrow!

k.

I really wish

that I was strong enough

to keep you at arm's length,

but every time we talk,

my elbows go weak.

- G.L. Angelone

My pen has fallen in love with you.

Letters, Franz Kafka

For years, I’ve tucked away the thirst to create in the deepest corners of my heart. I squeezed it into the corner until it grew cobwebs and dust; until it became lost under the mess of my unstructured days; until it became nothing but wishing thinking of who could I be.

Coming into a new city made me feel small. Honestly, I still feel small and an untalented mess as days fly by.

Why can’t I be as outgoing and creative as the others?

Why can’t I be as smart?

Then, I realized, it’s not that I can’t. It’s that I don’t allow myself to.

I love plans. I love creating plans. I love planning what to do. I love listing my plans. Until I woke up one day that plan is all I’ve ever done.

It’s about time I start doing. It’s about time I come back to my first loves. It’s about time I clear the cobwebs and dust covering my thirst to create. It’s time I allow myself to try even if I’m unsure of what to do. It’s about time I grow and leap.