Our Waiter Said...

Who will set me free

My pen is my comfort. Behold, my poem. *Who will set me free? I have been deceived, I believed my own lies. I am rooted to the earth, and I bare no fruit, only that of death. There is conflict within myself which holds me fast. I am in bondage to my own sin, which is eternally battling within. What gives life eventually gives one death. A cry of despair leaves my lips. I am disease, and whoever touches me, receives death. I do not possess the power of a life pleasing to live, for my leaves wither dry. I leave myself open and vulnerable to sin. I am rooted to the earth and I bare no fruit, only that of death. I wait for the one to set me free, to whom I will surrender all.

Buddha said.....

What we think, we become.

Honoring yourself...

and being truthful to yourself.  I haven't really delved into this whole mindset that you can forgive yourself when everybody else has or hasn't.  I have so much pent up guilt within myself that it's sometimes suffocating, that sometimes on those rare moments that I have time to think, it makes me dizzy when I think about that one event in my life, or that one memory of a memory that isn't really complete, but you know it's there, but forever fragmented every time you try to recall.

I'm 32 now, and I'm allowing myself, little by little to let things go that happened to me in that past, so that I can gain new experiences, and not let the past weigh me down.  But like they say, it's easier said than done.  I want to heal, I want to not have guilt and pain so easily manifest itself if I'm alone. 

Also, people get this mixed up sometimes.  Being alone doesn't necessarily mean you're lonely.  People say that so freely, that I sometimes wonder if the lonely they're talking about is them just being bored. 

I was asked, "If I don't have this (insert emotion), then what am I?"  I asked myself this the other day.  If I didn't have that abortion, and the pain, depression, and guilt that came with it, then what am I?  It's been 5 years, and I hardly know myself before all that happened, that I have to ask myself, could I ever go back to the girl I was?  Probably not.  I've built walls, and I've found comfort in things that brings me joy, that probably wouldn't even cross my mind 5-6 years ago.

I was also told once that you change every 5 years or so, and I didn't used to believe that, but now I do.  I definitely am not who I was 5 years ago, nor do I want to be.  I'm honoring myself by being truthful to this decision.  I'm happy, and that's all that I can ask for.  It's more than anyone can ask for.

Be well, my friends.

Ima gardenist

8 vegetables that you can regrow again and again.

Scallions

You can regrow scallions by leaving an inch attached to the roots and place them in a small glass with a little water in a well-lit room.

Garlic

When garlic begins to sprout, you can put them in a glass with a little water and grow garlic sprouts. The sprouts have a mild flavor than garlic and can be added to salads, pasta and other dishes.

Bok Choy

Bok choy can be regrown by placing the root end in water in a well-lit area. In 1-2 weeks , you can transplant it to a pot with soil and grow a full new head.

Carrots

Put carrot tops in a dish with a little water. Set the dish in a well-lit room or a window sill.  You’ll have carrot tops to use in salads. 

Basil

Put clippings from basil with 3 to 4-inch stems in a glass of water and place it in direct sunlight. When the roots are about 2 inches long, plant them in pots to and in time it will grow a full basil plant.

Celery

Cut off the base of the celery and place it in a saucer or shallow bowl of warm water in the sun. Leaves will begin to thicken and grow in the middle of the base, then transfer the celery to soil. 

Romaine Lettuce

Put romaine lettuce stumps in a ½ inch of water. Re-water to keep water level at ½ inch. After a few days, roots and new leaves will appear and you can transplant it into soil.

Cilantro

The stems of cilantro will grown when placed in a glass of water. Once the roots are long enough, plant them in a pot in a well-lit room. You will have a full plant in a few months.

If you put it out in the universe, maybe it'll come true.

One of the movies I love. It would’ve been perfect if Mickey Rooney wasn’t the “Japanese” landlord. How embarrassing and racist.

There was once a very lovely, very frightened girl. She Lived alone except for a nameless cat.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961) // dir. Blake Edwards

Red

The Nekromancer’s Daughter

Am I feeling dirty feelings?

"Eros" A Limited Edition Erotic Tarot by Uusi

All we need is LOVE. A naughty take on the traditional Marseilles tarot makes this Limited Edition deck one you don't want to miss!

This needs to happen.

XENA

I guess you guys want to see the marriage proposal from where I was sitting?

Am I right?

Heavenly

Florence and the Machine at last night’s Spotify event in Brooklyn. As Florence began to sing Sky Full of Song a literal storm began to hit, she never faltered and embraced the storm.