The Legend Of The Minecraft Glow Squid

Nick: so… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Salim recently.

Jason: no, Nicky, its not what it looks like, I swear.

Nick: oh really? so no reason for me to be jealous?

Jason: no! you’re the only one for me.

Nick: is that so?

Jason: i promise! Salim and I are just dating, okay? He’s my boyfriend.

Nick: so there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Jason: you are still my one and only best friend! He’s just the love of my life, nothing more!

Nick: but I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Jason: of course bro!

Nick: bro...

Salim: what the-

TRUEEEE and he yells at me a lot >:(

Solas is so tragic. How did BioWare go ‘we are making an elven trickster god companion’ and then end up with ‘elf benedict cumberbatch negs you asmr’

Jason: OK I’M GIVING YOU TEN SECONDS TO TELL ME WHO ATE MY OREOS BEFORE I START WREAKING HAVOC ON YOUR ASSES

Eric: i saw Salim go into the cabi…

Salim: Eric please don’t do this

Eric: cabinet and grab the pack

Salim: why would you do this to me

Jason: oh Salim it was you? do you want another pack babe?

Jason, watching Zain steal something: Man, what an idiot, where are his parents?

Jason:

Jason: Oh shit, I am the parent

I’m going with: it’s a reference to the Pink Panthers episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved for the points

i think it’s reasonable to assume that any spacefaring version of humanity would probably end up wearing funny hats as a cultural thing

Semper Fi? more like Simper Fi, amirite? 

Eric: The Middle East is on the brink of war-

Salim: Brink???

Jason’s whole character arc summed up

Jason: I suck at apologies, so...Unfuck you or whatever.

there’s a guy listening to that song that goes “if you gave me a chance I would take it” on full blast during a test and I-

don’t worry, he’s using headphones

meanwhile jason is kicking and screaming bloody murder

Nick: I gotcha!

Jason: I WILL KILL YOUR PARENTS I WILL END YOUR BLOODLINE PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW.

Absolute tomfoolery