Friend Referred To Jason As Male Wife Two-One Actual The Other Day And I Still Haven't Recovered

Nurse: You scored a 25/27 on your mental health questionnaire.

Jason: So that means I'm good at mental health, right?

*Crisis Counselor enters the room*

Jason: Ah, shit.

Salim, whose first language isn’t English: Hello! I’m sorry if my English isn’t very good.

Jason, whose first language is English: Hte fuckign.

Salim: Is this... normal for them?

Jason: Yeah, trust me, it's normal for everyone, hey Salim, do you wanna... get outta here?

Salim: And go where? Home? We just got here.

Jason: Right... wait did Merwin just come out-?

Merwin: Joey, I'm gonna pretend for a second that you're my wife and that we have children,

Jason: Do any of us have good relationships with our dads?

Nick: Well-

Eric: I do! I love my dad.

Rachel: You're like a disney adult about specifically that guy.

Eric: My dad's the best :)

Jason, depressed, lying on the floor: I just feel like a noodle

Salim joining him on the floor and hugging him: Good, I like pasta

Salim, thinking about Jason: I could fix him

Jason, thinking about Salim: I could make him worse

Eric: truth or dare

Rachel: truth

Eric: do you want to kiss Nick?

Rachel: dare

Eric: kiss Nick.

Rachel: never have i ever-

Eric: that’s not the game?!!

Jason: The alphabet is somewhere between 25-27 letters.

Nick: Oh yeah, it used to be 28 but they got rid of some letters due to budget cuts.

Jason, counting on his fingers: No, yeah, it's 26.

Nick: THAT WASN'T A BIT?!?!?!?

Jason: StOp crossing the road like that, do you have no anxiety??

Salim: Oh, I have anxiety, but my anxiety is more like I'm confident the cars won't hit me but I'm worried the drivers don't like me.

Clarisse: What's up guys? I'm back.

Jason: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Clarisse: Death is a social construct.