The Croaker's Revenge
The Croaker's Revenge
The Croaker will be present at Dashcon 2, and will guard the ballpit, after a fashion… but nobody will notice or recognize them. Many cosplayers will attend as the Croaker, but none will be @the-muppet-joker, not even the one in full purple-leisure-suit Joker cosplay, with a Kermit puppet fastened to his fly like a codpiece.
@strange-aeons will be there, in full Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven-Way cosplay, guarding the ballpit and posing for mock battle photos with Brotherhood cosplayers, but nobody will claim to be the actual Muppet Joker. Things will be whispered into Master Strange's ear, but they will mostly be along the line of what a lovely couple she and her wife make. Perhaps Master Strange will lean down to hear one person whisper, "I think he's here," and she will turn around, but she will not be able to tell who she was leaning down to listen to.
The ballpit will be a hit. Not as big as the raccoon talk given by @raccoonmilf, but the organizers, @dashcon-two, knew that if they were going to have a ballpit, they'd have to go big and make it as nice as possible, and the party supply company will deliver the perfect thing. Among other activities, getting selfies with Homestuck cosplayers reenacting their time in the original Dashcon ballpit will be popular.
Nobody will urinate in the ballpit.
Nobody will think very hard about how the laconic, sullen young person in a polo shirt and work slacks, who set up the ballpit alone and unassisted, had bright green hair.
Nobody will think very hard about how this green-haired young person spent every day of the convention posted up against a wall in view of the ballpit, scrolling on their phone, not interacting with anyone.
Nobody will realize until after the con, that the party supply company did not contract to set the ballpit up for the organizers, or to provide a maintenance person for it.
Nobody at the party supply company will care, when the Dashcon 2 organizers tell them that whoever initially signed for the ballpit wasn't event staff. Nor will they have any idea who actually did sign for it.
After the con, everyone will assume that the young green-haired nonbinary person, who set up the ballpit and spent the entire con leaning on the wall in view of it, scrolling on their phone, will pack up the ballpit and load it into the party supply company's truck, but in fact, the ballpit will still be standing, quite abandoned, and the green-haired one will have vanished without a trace. Eventually, the organizers will find badge details matching the green-haired one in their records: a standard visitor pass with no special privileges, under the name of "John Smith."
After the con, over the next few weeks, the repercussions will start to become apparent. Bit by bit, the Croaker's devious, twisted, insane, magnificent, hilarious plan will come to fruition before the eyes of an astonished and terrified Tumblr community, and the Croaker will have revenge upon all of us.
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Does this mean the era of fish-post-reblogging is at an end?
I eat paper
if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.
What does the asker think "propaganda" means? That's the least weird explanation for this, is that they've never actually learned what propaganda means, but their childhood guess, that it means something like "antisemitism" or "Communism" or "dictatorship" slots in to what they hear people saying close enough that they never realize they're misunderstanding everything.
If the asker doesn't engage with politics or history or social justice much, there wouldn't even be much chance of anyone noticing, until they get confused enough to send this ask.
how are you people alive.
wtf why isn't it @raccoonmilf who's reblogging this instead of you and me
Comics by Rose Anne Prevec.
--Hey, didja hear what happened to Brett?
--No, tell me!
--Well, last night, some assholes came out to his dock and ripped off his Johnson.
--What?! Is he gonna be okay?
--Yeah, he was in bed, he slept through the whole thing.
--How can someone sleep through getting their Johnson ripped off?
--Yeah, he's a pretty heavy sleeper, I guess.
--That's... so weird. But is he gonna be okay?
--Oh, he's not hurt at all. They never even came in the house.
--Wait, what?!
--They didn't actually make much noise. But now he needs to borrow your truck.
--To go to the hospital?
--Huh? No, to pick up his spare.
--His spare what?
--His spare Johnson. It's in his shop.
--Okay, why are you messing with me like this?
--What! He's got his spare Johnson up at his shop. He just needs your truck to bring it down here.
--He needs my truck. To pick up his spare Johnson. And attach it, right? After getting his original Johnson ripped off, and he didn't even wake up... or bleed out! Look, what the...
--Well, they didn't actually rip it off, I meant he got ripped off. They had tools, and they unbolted it from the back of the transom.
--...Transom??
--Yeah, you know, the board at the back of the skiff? Where the motor sits?
<long pause>
--You're talking about an outboard motor. A fucking Johnson brand outboard fucking motor.
--Uh, yeah? What did you think I was talking about?
I have successfully resisted the urge to use the phrase "well-placed bazinga" suggestively. You're welcome.
they dont want you to acknowledge this, but a well-placed "bazinga" is actually the funniest and most lethal thing on eartj
Olivia's -- and Nix's -- incredulity as she discovers one by one the various shenanigans Open and Shut got up to in Season 1 is a beautiful thing... I am going to miss her reactions at the end of this arc! I hope the next guest player gets similarly surprised...
How about hat racing? You can hat race on foot, or with horses or bicycles, or even in convertibles.
Everyone wears the same kind of hat. If your hat blows off or falls off during the race, you're disqualified.
No trying to knock off each other's hats. No adhesives.
The adhd modes of food
1. You ate that burger so fast. You ate that burger so fucking fast and now the whole Red Robin is staring at you god what the fuck
2. You started eating like a normal person, but then you started talking or daydreaming and now the waitress is handing you the check but you’ve still got half a plate of cold fettuccine
3. You were going to go out to eat, but then you saw a video in your YouTube recommendation that drew you towards it like moth to a flame, and now it’s 10 pm and you’ve got an empty bag of tortilla chips in your hand and shame in your heart
4. Mac And Cheese
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I have thousands of shitposts, rants, and essays sitting in notebooks, left over from decades of not using social media or having many friends. Hold on tight.
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