Guys.

guys.

Tony’s a guest judge on the latest season on Masterchef meant for those in the 18-21 year old category. He’s not sure why the fuck he’s there when he can’t differentiate shit in the kitchen, but he’s definitely there to bump up the ratings.

He’s supposed to be giving insightful comments, maybe give a pep talk or two, comfort a candidate during a meltdown, but goes absolutely speechless when the first person to present his dish is 18 year old Peter Parker from Queens.

“Tony.” Rhodey hisses from the side. “Tony.”

“Absolutely brilliant. Five stars. You know what? Make it ten. It’s fantastic. Cooked just right.”

Beside Tony, Rhodey’s trying not to cuss up a storm, “You haven’t even tasted it, man!”

Tony accepts the fork that’s handed to him, his gaze still fixed on pink-cheeked smiley Peter. Stabs his fork through a piece of chorizo and pops it into his mouth.

“…comments, Tony?” The host prompts him, somewhat nervously.

“Nothing. He’s perfect.”

“I meant…the food. Your comments on the food.”

Peter’s trying to maintain his composure, but it’s obvious he finds the whole situation hilarious.

“Look, I’m not even qualified to judge a cooking competition, but what do you feel about being my personal chef?”

The person behind the camera is yelling “Cut!” and Pepper is in him in a heartbeat, her stiletto heels clacking ominously against the floor.

“Tony-“

“Seriously.” Tony sets the fork down. “You should see my kitchen. It’s state of the art. Pepper.” He turns to his personal assistant. “Tell him how fantastic my kitchen is.”

“Um.” Peter glances uncertainly towards the side where the producers are in the midst of a heated discussion whether that little segment should be left in for airing. “…that’s nice?”

Pepper smiles apologetically at Peter, “I’m sorry. Really.”

“It’s fine. Not everyone can say that they’ve been on Masterchef and got flirted with by the Tony Stark. But seriously, how’s the food? I did spend an hour trying to perfect this.”

“Honestly, kid. I’m gonna maybe need a personal demonstration of how you cooked this dish. You know-“ Tony gestures uselessly with his hands. “-for evaluation purposes.”

“Uh huh. Of course.”

Obviously, it’s a competition and Tony can’t be having favorites, but it’s obvious who he’s rooting for. The episode airs with that little clip of Tony flirting kept in, and the ratings go insane. A couple of episodes later, Peter announces that he’s withdrawing from the competition because of a much better offer and Tony officially interrupts the live episode with a,

“Yes, as my boyfriend.”

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More Posts from Ighostmyself and Others

3 months ago

“You can’t consume problematic media!”

Maybe YOU can’t. I, on the other hand, have critical thinking skills and a lot of spite.

1 month ago
This Ad Wants To Hire Philosophy Specialists To Train Their AI.
This Ad Wants To Hire Philosophy Specialists To Train Their AI.

this ad wants to hire philosophy specialists to train their AI.

in philosophy.

they want to train the machine that can't think on the subject that's literally thinking about thinking.

someone smarter than me write in the comments how the classical philosophers are freaking out in the afterlife

(diogenes brandishing a texting autocomplete feature: Behold, a man!)


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2 months ago

On sensitivity readers, weakness, and staying alive.

The other day I was part of a Twitter conversation begun by a fellow-author on the subject of sensitivity readers, in which he said that no serious author would use sensitivity readers, and spoke of work being “sanitized”. The conversation devolved, as it often does on Twitter, but it got me thinking. It must have got someone else thinking too, because a journalist from the Sunday Times got in touch with me the next day, and asked me to share my ideas on the subject. Because I have no control over how my words are used in the Press, or in what context they might appear, here’s more or less what I told her.

I think a lot of people (some of them authors, most of them not) misunderstand the role of a sensitivity reader. That’s probably mostly because they’ve never used one, and are misled by the word “sensitivity”, which, in a world of toxic masculinity, is often mistaken for weakness. To these people, hiring someone to check one’s work for sensitivity purposes implies a surrendering of control, a shift in the balance of power. 

In some ways, I can empathize. Most authors feel a tremendous sense of attachment to their work. Giving it to someone else for comment is often stressful. And yet we do: we hand over our manuscripts to specialists in grammar, spelling or plot construction. We allow them to comment. We take their advice. We call these people editors and copy-editors, and they are a good and necessary part of the process of being an author. Their job is to make an author’s work as accurate and well-polished as possible.

When writing non-fiction, authors sometimes use fact-checkers at the editorial stage, to make sure that no embarrassing factual mistakes make it into print. This fact-checking is a normal part of the writing process. We owe it to our readers to be as accurate as possible. No-one wants to look as if they don’t know what they’re talking about.

That’s why now, increasingly, when writing about the lives and experiences of others, we sometimes use readers with different specialities. That’s because, however great our imagination, however well-travelled we may be and however many books we have read, there will always be gaps in our knowledge of the way other people live, or feel, or experience the world. Without the input of those with first-hand knowledge, there’s always a danger we will slip up. That’s why crime writers often consult detectives when researching their detective fiction, or someone writing a hospital drama might find it useful to talk to a surgeon, or a nurse, or to someone with the medical condition they are planning to use in their narrative. That’s why someone writing about divorce, or disability, or being adopted, or being trans, or being homeless, or being a sex worker, or being of a different ethnicity, or of a different culture – might find it useful to take the advice of someone with more experience.

There are a number of ways to do this. One of my favourites is The Human Library, which allows subscribers to talk to all kinds of people and ask them questions about their lives  (Check them out at https://humanlibrary.org/). The other possibility is to hire a specialist sensitivity reader to go through your manuscript and check it. Both can be a valuable resource, and I doubt many authors would believe that their writing is sanitized, or diluted, or diminished by using these resources.

And yet, the concept of the sensitivity readers – which is basically another version of the specialist editor and fact-checker – continues to cause outrage and panic among those who see their use as political correctness gone mad, or unacceptable wokery, or bowdlerization, or censorship. The Press hasn’t helped. Outrage sells copies, and therefore it isn’t in the interest of the national media to point out the truth behind the ire.

Let’s look at the facts.

First, it isn’t obligatory to use a sensitivity reader. It’s a choice. I’ve used several, both officially and unofficially, for many different reasons, just as I’ve always tried to speak to people with experience when writing characters with disabilities, or from different cultures or ethnic groups. I know that my publisher already sends my work to readers of different ages and from different backgrounds, and I always run my writing past my son, who often has insights that I lack.  

Sensitivity reading is a specialist editorial service. It isn’t a political group, or the woke brigade, or an attempt to overthrow the status quo. It’s simply a writing resource; a means of reaching the widest possible audience by avoiding inaccuracy, clumsiness, or the kind of stereotyping that can alienate or pull the reader out of the story.

Sensitivity readers don’t go around crossing out sections of an author’s work and writing RACIST!!! in the margin. Usually, it’s more on the lines of pointing out details the author might have missed, or failed to consider: avoiding misinformation; suggesting authentic details that only a representative of a particular group would know.

Authors can always refuse advice. That’s their prerogative. If they do, however, and once their book is published, they receive criticism or ridicule because their book was insufficiently researched, or inauthentic, or was perceived as perpetuating harmful or outdated stereotypes, then they need to face and deal with the consequences. With power comes responsibility. We can’t assume one, and ignore the other,

Being more aware of the experiences of others doesn’t mean we have to stop writing problematic characters. Sensitivity reading isn’t about policing bad behaviour in books. It’s perfectly possible to write a thoroughly unpleasant character without suggesting that you’re condoning their behaviour. Sensitivity is about being more authentic, not less.

People noticed bigotry and racism in the past, too. Some people feel that books published a hundred years ago are somehow more pure, or more free, or more representative of the author’s vision than books published now. You often hear people say things like: “If Dickens were around today, he wouldn’t get published.”

But Dickens is still published. We still get to read Oliver Twist, in spite of its anti-Semitism. And those who believe that Dickens’ anti-Semitism was accepted as normal by his contemporaries probably don’t know that not only was he criticized by his peers for his depiction of Fagin, he actually went back and changed the text, removing over 200 references, after receiving criticism by a Jewish reader. And no, it wasn’t “normal” to be anti-Semitic in those days: Wilkie Collins, whose work was as popular as Dickens’ own, managed to write a range of Jewish characters without relying on harmful and inaccurate stereotypes. 

But it isn’t automatic that a book will survive its author. Books all have shelf lives, just as we do, and Dickens’ work has survived in spite of his anti-Semitism, not because of it. The work of many others has not. Books are for readers, and if an author loses touch with their readers - either by clinging to outdated tropes, or using outdated vocabulary, or having an outdated style – then their books will cease to be published, and they will be forgotten. It happens all the time. What one generation loves and admires may be rejected by the next. And the language is always changing. Nowadays, it’s hard to read some books that were popular 100 years ago. Styles have changed, sometimes too much for the reader to tolerate.

Recently, someone on tumblr asked about my use of the word “gypsy” in Chocolat, and whether I meant to have it changed in later editions. (River-gypsies is the term I use in connection with Roux and the river people, who are portrayed in a positive light, although they are often victims of prejudice.) It was an interesting question, and I gave it a lot of thought. When I wrote the book 25 years ago, the word “gypsy” was widely used by the travelling community, and as far as I knew, wasn’t considered offensive. Nowadays, there’s a tendency to regard it as a slur. That’s why I stopped using it in my later Chocolat books. No-one told me to. It was my choice. I don’t feel as if I’ve lost any of my artistic integrity by taking into account the fact that a word has a different resonance now. On the other hand, I don’t feel that at this stage I need to go back and edit the book I wrote. That’s because Chocolat is a moment in time. It uses the language of the moment. Let it stand for as long as it can. 

But I don’t have to stay in one place. I can move on. I can change. Change is how we show the world that we are still alive. That we are still able to feel, and to  learn, and to be aware of others. That’s what “sensitive” means, after all. And it is nothing like weakness. Living, changing, learning – that’s hard. Playing dead is easy.


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1 month ago

What if: werewolves, but instead of only transforming on full moon, the amount they transform goes according to the phases of the moon - only becoming a whole wolf on full moon, not transforming at all on new moon, and transforming into a vague range of wolf-human anthros in the middle. Like going from "regular hairy human person but with yellow eyes, claws and fangs" to "almost completely wolf except with unsettlingly humanlike hands on the front paws."


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3 months ago

"Taking a crap on the establishment. I salute you!"

A cat dressed up as spider-punk, a tattered blue shirt over a long-sleeved red rests under a leather accessorized jacket. The Spidermask has a full metal spiked mohawk.

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2 months ago
R/batman Comment Sections My Beloved
R/batman Comment Sections My Beloved

r/batman comment sections my beloved


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1 month ago

Ngl I totally forgot fandom discourse was a thing. I don’t care man, I have car payments

3 months ago

The Alchemy- Football Player! Bucky x Ballerino! Peter

The Alchemy- Football Player! Bucky X Ballerino! Peter
The Alchemy- Football Player! Bucky X Ballerino! Peter
The Alchemy- Football Player! Bucky X Ballerino! Peter
The Alchemy- Football Player! Bucky X Ballerino! Peter
The Alchemy- Football Player! Bucky X Ballerino! Peter
The Alchemy- Football Player! Bucky X Ballerino! Peter
The Alchemy- Football Player! Bucky X Ballerino! Peter
The Alchemy- Football Player! Bucky X Ballerino! Peter
The Alchemy- Football Player! Bucky X Ballerino! Peter

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ighostmyself - Sem título
Sem título

26yo, Brazilian. Back to this site after years, still getting the hang of it and feeling old. (I multiship; It may not be of your liking.) She/Her 🩷💜🩵

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