Nobody On Earth Is Funnier Than The Winners Of The Bulwer-lytton Fiction Contest

That‘s what I would call unconditional love

I love the fact that the Madara fandom never downplay his war criminal's record. Like, go babe, go! Enslave them, kill them all, let your repressed feelings express themselves in meteor shape. I support you and I love you.

None of your old writing was a waste of time

You had to write what you did, when you did, so you could write what you’re writing now.

We only get better with experience.

So don’t worry if what you’re working on now doesn’t quite feel up to par. Think of it as paving the way for bigger and better things to come.

being a self-taught artist with no formal training is having done art seriously since you were a young teenager and only finding out that you’re supposed to do warm up sketches every time you’re about to work on serious art when you’re fuckin twenty-five

"well, the Uzumaki and Uchiha have around 25-ish members again, which would allow them to be reinstated as clans allied to the village by charter right," Tobirama stated, entirely unfazed by the eyes of the many clan heads watching him speak. Itama shifted his tiny (painfully tiny, was he always that small??) body in his hold, gripping on tighter to his mother's fur collar. both he, Kawarama, and Nawaki were heartbreakingly silent through the whole ordeal, even when the resurrection started by way of the lost Hatake boy, Orochimaru.

"but the Hatake and Senju still only have less than 10 and 15 members respectively, meaning that there would be a power imbalance between the four newly resuscitated clans. given the feud that is, arguably, still active to some of us revenant, it doesn't seem wise to leave it be."

and that was the crux of the matter. several members of both the Uchiha and Senju that had been resurrected had died when the Senju-Uchiha blood feud had been ongoing. both his brothers (his brothers!!) had died far before the village had even been a thought in Hashirama's wood cork of a brain, along with Madara's own siblings, like his older brother Hidehiko, Izuna, their younger brother Matsuri and his twin sister Shouko, and their youngest sister Choushi. thats not even mentioning the adult shinobi under the same circumstances; 22 year old Senju Yasuiro and 28 year old Senju Fuushinshi had attacked and injured Uchiha Kouga, and also injured the man's 12 year old niece Uchiha Rukia, before Tobirama, Madara, Hashirama, and Mito managed to tie them all down.

(if Fuushinshi was sporting a break in his arm, in the same place as young Rukia, well. That was between Tobirama and his cousin.)

"Thats not even mentioning the non-clan shinobi who were resurrected, who, in all likelihood, are probably related to one of the four clans in question. if they become affiliated with said clans is entirely by their own choice." he said, his tone brokering no room for argument. Tobirama was honestly surprised that he hadn't been interrupted yet, but it might be the shock of having so many once-dead shinobi in Konoha's meeting hall.

pursing his lips ever so slightly, he looked to Hashirama, holding Kawarama who was making faces at Itama, then to Touka who was standing behind Mito and holding Nawaki. his brother tilted his head and Touka nodded, flickering her chakra in code pattern for 'plan, question.'

Tobirama sighed, mostly as a visual sign of reluctance for the other clan heads present. 'contract, agreement. kill, home-clan; fade, wild-clan.'

Hashirama's eyes sparkled, his smile not fading from his face in the slightest.

"our agreed upon solution to both the power imbalance and the lacking size of the Senju and Hatake clans is to incite the charter's directory number fourteen."

only two of the clan heads seemed to recognize what he was referencing, tjose being the Nara clan head, as expected, and Madara, who literally co-wrote the damn thing with him. Madara threw his head back with thundering laughter, which Tobirama related to on a personal level.

it was extremely ironic that the ones to end the Senju way of life would be the very people who had been hurt by it the most.

Itama jerked in his arms at the noise, so he adjusted his grip to hold him tighter. several eyes landed on the still laughing Madara, who Tobirama knew was not going to explain anything. the Nara head didn't look any worse, so he either knew what the Senju used to be like, or he simply didn't care.

Tobirama had expected most of the clans to not have invested in that particular article after it was written, but... he was extremely unpleased with Hiruzen's puzzled, near silent question of "the what?"

Madara's laughter died off with the (to most) unexpected line of, "wonderful play, Senju." vicious smile almost mocking to anyone unfamiliar with him. which was everyone except him, Mito, Hashirama, and Izuna.

Tobirama simply inclined his head in acknowledgement. he ran one hand through his hair, carefully avoiding the carefully disguised braids he'd tied into it this morning with Hashirama, Touka, and Orocchi.

"to answer your question, Hiruzen, 'the what' is the clause in the village's Constitution that states, 'when a clan is no longer large enough to support itself and its members, an allied clan who is willing and able are to induct the clan into their own, allowing the continued survival of the bloodline. this can be enacted when a clan's number drops beneath the range of the clan's expected member count.'"

clearing his throat, he continues on, projecting his voice to call over the now disorganized shinobi.

"in essence, this means that the senju will join either the Uchiha, Uzumaki, or Hatake clans, as those three have priority over other clans in the village due to both personal and blood relations being closest. thus, to avoid further power imbalance in the number of members to each resurrected clan, the Senju will be hosted by the Hatake clan."

idk if this is a young fan thing or new fandom culture but some of yall think fics are abandoned way too quickly. a few months or a year or two is not unusual to go without a fic update. sometimes fics take longer to write, other times writers have rl events, or maybe there's multiple fics and one gets more priority. there are tons of reasons for fics not to be updated every week or every month. it also isn't uncommon for people to come back and update fics after a number of years—ive read updates that took five, or ten years. people's lives change, but they still want to tell their stories. personally, i never consider a fic abandoned unless the author has said so; though if it's been a few years i manage my expectations. but a last update being a year ago is... generally not a sign that a writer has abandoned their fic

‘boy i sure wish i was asleep,’ i whisper, clicking Next Chapter fourteen fucking times

Here comes my Bleeding Out Project! Part one.

Finally

Angst galore, beware!

So, instead of Hashirama, Madara met Tobirama at the river. They became friends, eventually they became lovers. And yet, despite that, Tobirama kills Izuna by mistake, and Madara never forgives him.

Konoha is builts, but Madara’s sanity keeps on slipping, torn between the grief for his brother and how he loves Izuna’s murderer. Eventually, Madara refuses to accept it as reality, and decides to destroy Konoha and break the illusion.

Tobirama has no choice but to put down his lover.

Humans Are Weird

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

Source 

So I was just wondering, in happy AU where Izuna lives and Konoha is formed and Madatobi happens and everything is sunshine and roses, how would the Shinobi Wars have been influenced? Konoha was the most powerful of the villages in the original universe, but add to that the power of Madara and the dozens of Uchiha and Senju that would not have died if the fighting had stopped earlier, they would be ridiculously stronger than the other villages. Also, would the Daimyo of Fire Country take advantage of having such an overpoweringly strong ninja village to expand his borders? 

On another note: in the books they mentioned that the Senju and the Uchiha were always hired to oppose each other, what happened when people could no longer do that? Would there be people willing to pay Konoha not to take a job, or secondary parties willing to pay Konoha extra to take certain jobs?

@hiruma-musouka , @blackkatmagic, @redhothollyberries, and @elenathehun what are your thoughts?