(+🍞) He Got That Boyish Look That I Like In A Man ꜝꜝ

˚. ♩ i'm the wind in our free-flowing sails ⁺ . and the liquor in our cocktails ⭒ ֗

TOWARDS YOU ── lovely runner.

𝗧𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 ─ a lovely runner fanfiction.

even if the whole world turns its back, i'll be right here, running towards you.

𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆𝗯𝗳𝗳𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

(do not repost) (all rights reserved) (new chapters every friday and saturday) (ON HIATUS TILL APRIL 4TH)

list of chapters:

TOWARDS YOU (intro)

i. life: a tempest

ii. start afresh

iii. opportunities

iv. something worth saving

v. sudden shower

vi. coincidences? or were they?

vii. desperate measures for desperate times

viii. heartbeat

ix. silent confession

x. a taste of victory

xi. strings of fate

xii. melting

xiii. pieces of my shattered heart

xiv. the space between us

xv. echoes of yesterday

xvi. my fragile heart

xvii. bandaids don't fix bullet holes

xviii. the anatomy of a smile

xix. on my mind

xx. heart to heart

xxi. clarity in the darkness

xxii. you and me and awkward silence

xxiii. whispers in the dark

xxiv. the start of something new

xxv. between notes and secrets

xxvi. all roads lead to rome

xxvii. dead end

xxviii. the aftermath

xxix. blackout

xxx. the memory of you

xxxi. second chances

xxxii. your embrace

xxxiii. the ticking clock

xxxiv. the rose that grew thorns

xxxv. tunnel vision

xxxvi. those eyes

xxxvii. home is where the heart is

xxxviii. undeniable

xxxix. looking back

xl. whispers from the past

xli. threads of fate and regret

xlii. piercing through my soul

xliii. unfinished business

xliv. truths unspoken

xlv. break free

xlvi. intoxicating

xlvii. unforgettable

xlviii. hopeless

xlix. drifting away

l. all because i liked a boy

li. thunderstorm

lii. rain, romance and revelations

xiii. pieces of my shattered heart

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN ─ pieces of my shattered heart.

❛ even in my worst times, you saw the best in me ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Taesung found himself lingering around the music club after the rest of his bandmates had left. He tried his best to explain to himself why he was waiting there. He had nothing to do after going home anyway. May as well hang around there for a while; But at the back of his mind, he knew he was waiting in hopes of seeing her.

As if she was listening to his thoughts, Yumi emerged from her usual practice room. Trying to act nonchalant, he pretended to look around.

"You're still here?" she asked. He turned to look at her, "Yeah, I'm just passing time."

"Oh."

The awkwardness in the air was painfully obvious.

"Why are you standing there like that?" he asked her.

"Like what?"

"Don't you have to go home?"

"Why are you trying to get rid of me?" she questioned suspiciously, "Are you in trouble? Doing something wrong?"

"Why do you assume the worst of me?" he demanded of her.

"Can you blame me?" she shrugged, "You're the spitting image of a delinquent. You look like the kind of guy who would beat up kids in a dark alleyway."

"Thanks for telling me what you really think of me."

"You're welcome," she answered with a sarcastic smile.

He scoffed, getting up and making his way towards the exit. Yumi was left confused at his strange behaviour, but still followed him out, realizing she needed to go home.

She saw Taesung standing sighing on the pavement. In a split second, before she could comprehend what was happening, he turned around rapidly, grabbing her by the waist and looking into her eyes with an unblinking gaze. The thumping of Yumi's heart sounded in her ears. The touch ignited a spark inside her as her eyes widened. She could hardly make sense of what she felt at that moment.

"Is she gone?" he asked.

"Huh?" Yumi squeaked out, conscious of the warmth on her face.

"The girl standing across the streets; Is she gone?"

"There's no one there."

She stumbled backwards as he let go with no word of warning. There was no way to calm the rapid beating of her heart. All she could think of was that she wanted to run away. She wasn't ready to face whatever the hell she was feeling.

"I have to study for a test," she yelped, breaking into a run.

She ran all the way home.

💿

Eunyoung stood waiting at the bus stop. She distinctly remembers going home alone every day in the past, but somehow, today Sunjae's absence affected her greatly. She missed his company, his sweet gestures and the way he made her laugh. The bus doors opened in front of her. There was no queue as per usual, but she couldn't get onto the bus. It felt as if a supernatural force was holding her back. In her hesitation, the automatic bus doors closed and the bus went on without her.

Her feet led her straight to the swimming pool. It was almost an unconscious decision. When it came to Sunjae, she seemed to act without thinking. She felt it was strange as she had always been a rational person, so why was she acting like this now?

On spotting one of the swim team members she interviewed, she went up to him and asked, "Hey, I was wondering if you've seen Sunjae?"

"You're looking for Sunjae?" he repeated, his voice laced with hesitation to answer her question, "It might not be my place to tell you this, but he was rushed to the hospital this morning."

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

My breathing had become heavy, my vision blurred with tears and my entire body trembled in shock as I stumbled up the hospital stairs to see where Sunjae was. I could hardly believe it; I thought I averted his injury. How could this happen? How could I let this happen?

The lady at the reception told me that he had just come for a check-up and consultation and that she couldn't reveal anything more. After that, they practically kicked me out of the place and I was left sitting on the bench outside the hospital, my eyes spilling out buckets of tears.

The familiar pang of self-doubt twisted in my gut. A wave of nausea washed over me – a crushing failure to safeguard him. My mind spun, questioning my very presence in this past. Was I just a fabricated hope, a delusion of control? Was Sunjae's fate an immovable monolith, destined to crush him regardless of my intervention? The questions echoed in the hollowness of my chest, a chilling mirror to the grief that shattered me upon learning of his death. It felt as if my heart, once a fragile hope, had shattered into a million, irreparable pieces, each shard piercing through my skin as an unwelcome revelation dawned upon me.

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

The palm of my father's hand crashed against my cheek, pain erupting on my face. Tears began to form in my eyes as I avoided his gaze. I had no desire to look at the disappointment in his eyes, which I already felt from within. The meagre physical pain couldn't compare to the storm of self-hatred that raged within me. Years of gruelling training, the sting of chlorine in my eyes, the ache in my muscles─ all replayed in my mind as if I needed to be reminded of everything I went through during my time as a swimmer that had now come to an abrupt halt. 

"You dare talk about quitting in front of me! If you ever say such nonsense again, don't you ever think of coming home!"

That was the last straw for Sunjae.  He ran blindly, the sting of tears mixing with the salty remnants of the pool on his face. He didn't care where his feet were taking him, just as long as they were taking him away from the crushing weight of his father's disappointment and the prison of his own unfulfilled dreams. His vision blurred to the point where he could no longer see the road in front of him.

Just then, he felt the touch of a familiar, delicate hand grab hold of his wrist and he came to a stop. As he wiped his tears, the sight of Eunyoung standing before him became increasingly clear. He was stunned, momentarily forgetting his sorrow that came crashing back in an instant. That was when he noticed the tears flowing from Eunyoung's eyes as she embraced him in a despairing hug. He could feel her sobbing against his shoulder, breathing heavily.

"Eunyoung, I─"

"I know," she cried as her grip around his shoulders tightened. 

Sunjae too began to sob uncontrollably, wrapping his arms around Eunyoung's waist. Words were unnecessary. In that embrace, Sunjae found a solace he hadn't known he craved. The weight of his father's disappointment, the crushing burden of his secret – it all seemed a little less unbearable with her arms wrapped around him. He clung to her silently in the middle of that dark narrow lane as the world around them seemed to dissolve.

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nayoung's notes: i just want to be hugged by sunjae. that is my new goal in life. this chapter was such a rollercoaster ride. hope you enjoyed!

delphi's notes: yumi's accusations are too funny istg. sunjae and eunyoung must be protected o((>ω< ))o

next chapter: saturday list of chapters here!

xxiii. whispers in the dark

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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE ─ whispers in the dark.

❛ and i should get a ciggarette for so much restraint ❜

Kim Taesung's Perspective

For a few moments after Yumi left, I found myself staring blankly at the door. I too was shocked at the fact that I offered to teach her guitar. Did I have that much restraint? And that too, at my house? I couldn't stop thinking of her and it drove me nuts. Tonight, she looked stunning. She had always been pretty, but today? She took my breath away. Her hair framed her face in a way that seemed so effortless, like a masterpiece painted with the dim light bulbs that lit up my living room.

I couldn't shake off the conversation that I had with Inhyuk in the kitchen. He said Yumi was the one who planned everything, and then slapped my shoulder playfully. Was it really the case? Or was he just teasing me? I had so many questioned swirling around my head, and I couldn't make sense of any of them.

I suddenly remembered that she got me a gift. It really wasn't a big deal, I tried to tell myself. Everyone got me gifts. But desire to see what she got me devoured me whole and I found myself inching towards the dark blue paper bag that sat on the table, which seemed to be calling out to me, waiting to be opened.

I sensed some hesitation as my hand reached inside it, pulling out a box—that seemed rather heavy for its size. My heart pounded in my ears as my fingers brushed against the smooth, velvety surface. A chill ran down my spine as my eyes landed on the label.

It was a perfume.

The delicate glass bottle shimmered in the dim light, its contents a mystery waiting to be unveiled. A wave of emotions crashed over me—surprise, confusion, and a strange sense of anticipation. How did she know? Had she been paying attention to my preferences, or was this a random act of kindness?

With a shaking hand, I lifted the box lid, revealing a delicate glass bottle. It was a simple rectangular bottle, yet its cold surface sent shivers down my spine. A clear blue liquid swirled within it. My hand reached for the bottle cap, unscrewing it with a newfound gentleness in my hands. I lifted the bottle up to my nose, inhaling the scent.

Unlike anything I'd expected, the fragrance was a captivating paradox. Woody notes, reminiscent of sun-warmed cedarwood, formed the base, grounding the scent with a sense of strength and earthiness. But then, a wave of unexpected freshness washed over it. A hint of salt air hit my nose, and I could practically feel the ocean breeze. It was the scent of a tropical beach after summer rain, where the heat had coaxed out the earthy aromas of the forest floor while leaving the air fresh and alive.

What does this mean?

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

My mom had come into my room about half an hour ago, bidding me good night. I too, had tucked myself into my warm, comfy bed, when the realization that Yumi wasn't home hit me like a speeding truck on an expressway. An uneasy feeling washed over me, as all my drowsiness was drowned out by worry and concern. Ever since then, I've been sitting on the kitchen platform, staring out the little square window that looked down on the street.

I remember the day I first met Yumi. It was one of my most vivid memories as a child when my age was just a single digit. I don't remember a lot of things from when I was that little but that day was fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday. I had heard a loud wailing sound from the sand pit in the park and found Yumi crying because all the other kids had sand toys except her. I remember chuckling and offering my toys, telling her to stop crying. I never knew that she would become such a significant part of my life.

When Yumi had been working at the law firm, I watched the spark slowly disappear from her eyes each evening she reached home. The vibrant young woman I knew was slowly fading away, slipping from my reach, replaced by a weary stranger burdened by unseen woes. My heart ached for her, but my attempts to reach out were met with a wall of silence. Whenever I brought up the subject of her job, a guarded look would cloud her features, and the conversation would hit a dead end. It was as if her feelings were locked in a vault, and she'd thrown away the key.

That's why, when I spotted her- practically skipping down the street, my lips stretched into a huge grin. I hadn't seen her smile like that in ages. It was as if someone had flipped a switch within her, igniting a forgotten light that had been buried beneath the weight of her burdens. The world, usually cast in a dull, dreary filter, seemed to come alive again. Even the streetlights, normally harsh and flickering, seemed to dim in reverence, their feeble glow overshadowed by the radiance emanating from Yumi.

Instead of letting myself ponder on the reasons for her newfound joy, I let myself appreciate the happiness radiating off her. Though we weren't related by blood, our bond was as strong as that of real sisters. I wanted her to keep smiling like that for the rest of time. 

As I heard her footsteps making their way to the front door, I leaped off the platform and bolted to my room, switching off the lights in a frenzy. I stumbled on my way, not being able to differentiate a lamp from a clothing rack thanks to the fact that I was sitting like a ghost in the darkness. Aside from the fact that I would have knocked the living daylight out of her, it would have been pretty difficult to explain why I was awake at that ungodly hour. I lay in my bed- that somehow felt warmer than before, and let myself fall into a slumber as the smile never left my lips.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: the header turned out so cute (*^_^*)

delphi's notes: taesung entering his loser era

next chapter: saturday list of chapters here!

xlii. piercing through my soul

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CHAPTER FORTY-TWO ─ piercing through my soul.

❛ i wanna hold you just for a while

and die with a smile ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

The chatter and buzz in the interview room rekindled after the cameraman's "Cut!" People switching off all the extra studio lights, packing up their things and chatting with each other. The tense atmosphere that previously hung over the room while the filming was ongoing was replaced with a new friendliness and lightheartedness. Words of encouragement and several people saying "Good job!" seemed to raise everyone's spirits. 

I heaved a quiet sigh the moment the cameras were out. During the interview, I felt as if I had been holding my breath the whole time. Never in my career of doing interviews for famous, influential personalities had I ever felt so nervous. At the same time, I knew I was obviously holding myself back. Every cell in my body wanted to drop all formalities and throw my arms around him and tell him how glad I was to see him. 

His experience writing 'Sonaki' was something that pricked me from inside. His words constantly echoed inside my mind. He met her on a rainy day. It was dangerously similar to how I met Sunjae. A part of me- the hopeful part, wanted to believe desperately that it was me. Despite wanting to hold onto the hope, an anxious and worried voice inside me told me not to get excited over it. It was too good to be true. Him writing a poetic masterpiece about his first love who was none other than me? It sounded impossible. I was also afraid. Afraid of being wrong after thinking it was about me. At the end of the day, I'm nothing more than his fan. And to him, all he's going to remember me is as a distant memory from his teenage years.

I gave in to all my temptations as I stole a glance at Sunjae, sitting across from me rummaging through his bag and talking about something or the other with his manager. I nearly smiled seeing his relaxed posture and radiant glow. Something about him had changed in the best way possible. He looked happy, and that was enough for my heart to be content. For a split second, our eyes met and I tore away forcefully and unnaturally, probably making a fool out of myself. It was too much. Seeing him again uprooted so many repressed feelings.

Soon, he was telling his manager to go on without him and saying that he would be out soon. Watching his manager leave the room, I found myself thinking- Am I really going to be here alone with him? It hadn't even been that long since I'd last seen him, yet my heart pounded in my ears like a thousand drums.

"Hey," he began once he was sure everyone was gone. I nearly jumped out of my skin hearing his voice, "It's been a while, huh? How've you been?"

"Hi," I answered with a small smile. So he remembers me... "Yeah, it's been ages. I've been good. How 'bout you? How's everything?"

"Good, you know. Life's full of surprises," he answered, smiling.

"That's nice to know; You...look... good- like you've been well," I stuttered like an idiot, "This is awkward, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed, sounding disappointed, "It's been too long, I guess."

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air as we both looked here and there, thinking hard about what to say next. It seemed like both of us had a hundred thoughts racing through our minds, but no words nor courage to express them.

"You don't have any like... illness or anything lately, do you?" I asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

"No, not at all," he answered, sounding confused.

"I read some of the articles you wrote," he said after a few more moments of silence.

"About Eclipse?" I asked, sounding a bit too eager.

"Yeah," he replied, fidgeting with his clothes, "And other things. Your writing's as good as ever."

"Thanks," I cracked a real smile, "Should we go? Your manager must be waiting."

"Yeah."

We made our way through the door and into the elevator. I had never realized that our building elevator had no mirror. Or music. I stared at the ground, soaking in all the silence between us. The awkwardness sent a chill down my spine. I wanted to do something. I wanted to tell him that I missed him. But that would make things even more awkward and I would die of embarrassment.

Gosh, were elevator rides here always so insufferable?

The elevator finally stopped at the ground floor after what felt like a million years, and we exited the building, still completely quiet. Standing on the pavement looking onto the highway, I looked up at Sunjae, who was already looking. My face felt hot as I forgot what I was about to say.

"So this is it?" he said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"We should keep in touch this time," I blurted out too quickly. Why was I so jittery? "You can get my number from your manager."

"Yeah, let's do that," he said with a smile, finally showing his beautiful dimples. I returned his smile, feeling my heart swell up at the very sight of a happy Sunjae.

"My manager's car is over there across the street," he said, looking at the black car parked on the other side of the road, "I'll see you?"

"You will," I said with conviction, the smile never leaving my face.

I watched as the made his way across the zebra crossing, going further away, but in that moment, he felt the closest that evening. The soft glow of the streetlamp and the dim starlight seemed to give me a glimmer of hope. That this was the beginning of something new. Something special. Then, as if to throw water over all my happiness, I loud crashing sounded, like a huge truck suddenly stopping. My eyes went wide as my body seemed to freeze from shock. I felt my blood go cold.

Time seemed to splinter into fragments, each one more agonizing than the last, as I watched the massive, green truck barrel forward, unstoppable. There was a horrid screeching of brakes, but it was too late—the impact was thunderous, like the world cracking open right before my eyes. Sunjae's body collided with the force of the vehicle, a sickening blur of motion as he was thrown to the ground, his form limp and unmoving.

A piercing cry escaped my throat, one I barely recognized as my own. My chest constricted, an unbearable ache tearing through me as if the impact had shattered not only him but every part of me, too. For a brief, surreal moment, I couldn't move; I was paralyzed, bound by the horror of what I'd just witnessed, by the helplessness sinking like iron into my bones.

I stumbled forward, heart hammering wildly, tears blurring my vision as I rushed toward him. "Sunjae!" I cried, my voice trembling, desperate. My knees hit the ground beside him, the unforgiving pavement scraping through the fabric of my jeans, but I barely registered the sting. All I could see was his stillness, his face pale and serene in a way that frightened me more than any amount of pain ever could.

A sob broke free, raw and guttural, as I reached for his hand, cold and heavy in mine. Memories flooded my mind—his laughter, his warmth, the look in his eyes when he talked about the future, a future I suddenly couldn't see. It was slipping from me, unraveling like sand through my fingers, and I was powerless to stop it. The sight of him lying there, broken, filled me with a heartbreak so deep I felt hollowed out from within. I could feel my heart shattering, piece by piece, each shard lodging painfully within me.

"Please...please, Sunjae," I whispered, voice breaking as I clutched his hand, unable to stop my tears. The world had collapsed around us, reduced to this one horrible moment, to the unbearable thought of losing him.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: sunjae's death breaks me in every timeline.

delphi's notes: here we go again.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxv. between notes and secrets

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE ─ between notes and secrets.

❛ and i feel so high school

every time i look at you ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The sunlight peered into my room through the translucent curtains hanging over my window. The light cast itself on every surface- my desk, the wooden floor littered with various teenage junk and my spinning chair. Even my bed, which was in an obscure corner of my room couldn't avoid the stingy hot rays of the sun. I lay on my bed like a dead starfish abandoned on the sea shore, staring blankly at the ceiling above, deep in thought.

It's been a couple of weeks since I started learning guitar from Taesung. No matter how hard I tried to be nonchalant about it- I couldn't help myself. He was on my mind, all right, consuming my thoughts day and night. Here I was, rotting in my bedroom on a perfectly pleasant summer Sunday afternoon, thinking about a boy who probably never had a comprehensible thought in his life. Scenes played in my mind like flashbacks in a movie. His gentle tone explained things to me; How our hands would brush ever so often and my stupid heart would start racing like a mad horse.

I wanted to believe so desperately that I was the only one in the world who knew this side of him. Sensitive, kind, gentle- vulnerable. His tough-guy act was all just a pretence. I could see a new part of him now that I had spent so much time with him. His eyes showed a glint as he spoke about music- passion. There was something else about him that he wasn't ready to tell me. The melancholy in his voice whenever the subject of family came up- neglect.

I felt pathetic thinking this to myself, but I wanted to know. Curiosity pierced through my heart, a desire to know him better. What kept him up at night? What makes him smile? Or cry? I wanted to know it all.

I lazily moved to my desk, slouching in my chair as I propelled myself towards the table with my legs. I gazed at the music sheet lying on the table. This music sheet wasn't an ordinary one. It was for the song Taesung was teaching me on the guitar. My fingers played with the corners of the paper, mindlessly folding it. My other hand reached for my pencil as I began to scribble on a different scrap of paper.

The long-hidden time, calls us back again.

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"Have you ever felt like someone is keeping something from you?" I asked Sunjae as we walked back home from the bus stop through the warm Monday afternoon.

"The feeling of being lied to?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "Like they're withholding information on purpose."

"I don't know," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck that glistened with sweat, "Is something on your mind?"

"It's probably nothing," I shrugged, looking up at him to smile reassuringly, "Yumi had been coming home late these days. She said there are extra lessons at the music club, but I have a feeling that isn't the whole story."

He smiled back at me, flashing his dimples. My face must have turned the colour of a fresh tomato because I could feel the heat rising. I tried to play it cool, but it was no use. 

I knew it was silly. But there was something about him that just drew me in. Maybe it was his kind eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, or his laugh that not once failed to bring a smile to my face, or it was just the way he made me feel. Whatever it was, I couldn't deny it. I had a stupid, hopeless crush on him.

"It feels amazing to take off my shoulder brace," he sighed as we turned a corner.

"Does it still hurt?"

He shook his head, "The doctor said that it won't get triggered unless I engage in strenuous physical exercise."

"I'm glad you're better now."

A comfortable silence filled the air, our smiles never leaving our faces as we journeyed home. I don't know when I'll be going back to my time, or how much time I had left. In that moment, none of it mattered. All that was important was the soft melody of "Sonaki" in my mind and Sunjae's company which was as warm as the summer breeze flowing through my hair.

💿

I stared blankly at my flip-phone screen displaying a message from an unknown sender.

Hello Eunyoung. 

It's your dad.

My heart raced, threatening to burst out of my chest. I felt my breath become shaky and my hand reached up to my heart in attempt to calm myself. There were a million thoughts and questions running through my mind since the moment I saw the message. What did he want? How did he find my number? But one question brought my spirits crashing down to rock bottom. Where had he been my whole life?

Everything seemed to come back to me. Memories of me as a baby, tiny and vulnerable, desperate to be loved. Now I remember everything I did to try and get my dad to look at me longer than a fraction of a second. I once even tore his favourite pair of shoes to catch his attention. That seemed to make things worse. I thought he hated me. I never once thought he was capable of love. The way he screamed at my mom...

I covered my ears in agony- I could hear the scene replay in my head.

Another message flashed on the screen.

Let me make things right. Can we meet up somewhere?

"Eunyoung?" My mother's voice fell upon my ears. In shock, I spinned in my chair to look at her beady eyes staring down at me.

"M-mom..." My voice stuttered and stammered as I felt a lump in my throat, "D-did you..."

I want to cry.

"Listen, Eunyoung," she began, her voice cold and stiff, "I know this isn't your fault, but under no circumstances will you agree to this. Do you understand? I hope I've made myself clear."

"Yes, mummy," I said, faking a smile, trying to blink away my tears. A warm smile appeared on her face as she pulled me in for a hug, "You're all the family I need." I said to her, biting my lip, trying desperately to hold back the urge to cry my eyes out.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: i'm so proud of that header 🥹 also eunyoung is so real for that last line.

delphi's notes: the way she calls her mom mummy ;(

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xiv. the space between us

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FOURTEEN ─ the space between us.

❛ our secret moments in a crowded room, they got no idea 'bout me and you. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae and Eunyoung sat silently in Eunyoung's living room, the sound of occasional hiccups or sobs breaking the silence. She reached for his clenched hand, gently squeezing it as an acknowledgement of the agony that he felt as if to say, "I'm here for you."

"How did you know?" Sunjae asked quietly, trying to conceal the spark he felt at her touch, "That I got hurt."

"I realized you never showed up the the bus stop, so I asked your friend," she answered, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" he countered, "Even though we haven't known each other for long, you've been here for me like a pillar of support. You always seem to say the right thing at the right time. I feel comfortable with you. You've got nothing to be sorry for. In fact, I'm the one who should be sorry. I should have listened to your advice."

His words seemed to melt her heart like ice cream on a sunny day as her face began to feel warm, "It's not your fault, Sunjae. I should have tried harder."

"No," he said firmly, taking both her hands as she gazed into his glassy eyes, "You tried to warn me, but I was too stubborn. You can't possibly blame yourself for what happened to me. Maybe fate has other plans for me."

His words echoed in her mind; all she could do was sit and stare at him because she was the only one who knew what destiny had in store for him.

Their eyes locked as both of them desired to look nowhere but at each other. The air seemed to grow heavy with words they had been holding back since their first meeting. Eunyoung's breathing became slow and the sound pierced through the silence. As she continued to stare at his perfect face, her gaze shifted from his pillowy, soft lips to his eyes, moist from crying, then fixed on his lips, unable to look away. Sunjae, slowly, in a moment of realization, became aware of where Eunyoung was looking. Eunyoung's breath hitched ever so slightly as he leaned towards her, the action filled with hesitation. Their lips were a whisper apart, a secret yearning about to be fulfilled.

The doorknob rattling filled the air as they pulled away abruptly. Sunjae let go of his grip on Eunyoung's hands, startled at the rude interruption. Both their eyes began blinking rapidly, looking everywhere but at each other. 

As Yumi entered the room she stopped in her tracks, trying to make sense of what they were doing. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "What are you two─ have you been crying? What happened?" Her voice was now laced with worry, oblivious to what she had walked in on.

"It's nothing," Eunyoung said sharply. A hiccup escaped her mouth as she sloppily tried to cover up the situation. 

"I'll leave you two alone," said Yumi, although as she walked to her room, her eyes seemed to convey a message to Eunyoung, as if to say You're telling me everything later.

Sunjae and Eunyoung were left alone once again and the silence felt louder than ever. Tension filled the room as she avoided his gaze. A tangled web of emotions and unspoken desires hung heavy in the air, a barrier that was both thrilling and terrifying.

💿

The newspaper room of Jagam High School was usually a lively place to be. The place always buzzed with heated discussions and the sound of busy fingers typing. However, at this moment only Hyejin and Yerin sat lazily in their designated chairs, gazing out at the bright summer day through the single, huge window in front of them. Yerin's cellphone buzzed, breaking the silence.

"Hey, look Mrs. Hong just messaged," she told her friend, who peeked into her phone, curious as to what their teacher had said, "The meeting is shifted to tomorrow."

Hyejin groaned, "The one day we show up early the meeting gets cancelled. Great."

"It's so unfair," Yerin grumbled.

"By the way, did you hear from Jiwoo? How's she doing?" Hyejin asked after a few moments of silence.

"I spoke to her yesterday," answered Yerin, "She's supposed to be discharged from the hospital this weekend. I can't believe she got chicken pox; It must have been so painful."

"Who wrote her article about the swim team?" Hyejin inquired.

"Don't you remember the teacher praising Eunyoung about─ oh yeah, you weren't there," she realized suddenly, "Do you know Choi Eunyoung?"

"Yeah, of course I do," she answered as if it was the most natural thing in the world, "She's probably the prettiest in our grade─ or maybe in our whole school."

"Well, she's the one who wrote the article," Yerin said, "She wrote it well, honestly. All the teachers like her."

"The people in my class said that Jiwoon sunbae likes her," she remembered suddenly, "He tried to get close to her and stuff last year. They're saying he's planning on confessing his feelings to her."

"Really?" Hyejin exclaimed, "I saw her with Ryu Sunjae on the bus the other day─ I thought they're going out. He kept her head on his shoulder and all. It seemed kind of serious if you ask me."

"No way!" Yerin remarked, shocked, "She's like─ really pretty, though. She and Sunjae would look good with each other. I've heard she's kind of reserved, so I don't think she would go out with someone for fun. I know so many people who tried to speak to her, but she gave them the cold shoulder and was really formal."

"Ugh, I hate girls like that. They always turn out to be so bitchy," she grumbled, "She has a sister who she's close with; but I don't think she has many friends. It's so high-and-mighty of her."

"Have you ever spoken to her?"

"Can't say I have."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nayoung's notes: the first scene of this chapter is literally just a product of my intrusive thoughts lmao. i randomly came up with it and ended up keeping it. hope you liked it!

delphi's notes: yumi's got no idea what she walked in on 🫢

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

; i wonder what you see . . .

. '・ when you see someone like me ( + 🍞 )

xxiv. the start of something new

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR ─ the start of something new.

❛ you know i want you bad,  show me mercy ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Where were you last night?" Eunyoung asked Yumi as they got on the bus. She couldn't shake off the feeling that she had been kept in the dark about something. Yumi choked out a mock cough to cover up her gasp. She was really hoping to avoid any confrontation- because she hadn't decided how she would deal with it.

Yumi remained silent till they took their usual seat at the back of the bus. Her eyes blinked rapidly, darting from one side to another, frantically trying to come up with an alibi.

"I had plans, so I ate out," she said vaguely; but she knew it wasn't a satisfactory answer.

"Plans with who?" Eunyoung chuckled mockingly, "Since when did you have friends?"

"How nice of you to say that," Yumi snapped sarcastically, "I do have friends now; times change."

"Sure they do," Eunyoung mumbled. It was just a playful comment, but Yumi's words stung more than they should have. After all, there had never been secrets between them. Curiosity grew in her mind as she pondered what could possibly be the secret that Yumi was so determined to keep from her.

💿

"Hey, Eunyoung!"a familiar voice called out to her as she was heading to the newspaper room. She stopped, then turned to find Kim Harin running towards her. It was like a reminder that she had travelled back in time, and hadn't seen these people in ages. It made her reminisce of all the people she once knew, but didn't keep in touch with; and she couldn't help but feel sorry that there was a point where they weren't a part of her life anymore.

Harin had been Eunyoung's closest friend, apart from Yumi, who worked at the newspaper just like her.

"God! I haven't seen you in ages!" she chirped, walking alongside Eunyoung towards the newspaper room, "But it made me realize that I have a popular friend."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you know?" she asked inquisitively, "People gossip about you all the time. I heard about how you rejected Jihoon sunbae. Someone sitting behind me was going on about how she wondered where you got the audacity from. Honestly, I'm glad you did it. Someone had to put him in his place."

"I didn't know people made such a fuss," said Eunyoung, gazing blankly at the empty corridor before them, "But then, again, nothing ever happens around here."

"I know right?! They're just desperate for entertainment," she agreed enthusiastically, "Enough with the gossip, now. I read your article on the swim team and it was fabulous! I can't imagine anyone who could have done it better."

"Thanks," said Eunyoung with a wide grin, "I'm so glad you liked it. I'm also grateful that someone appreciates my writing. You know it means a lot, right?"

"Of course! But I was only stating the facts; There's no one better than you on our team," she beamed.

I couldn't hide my smile as I entered the newspaper room. God knows for how long I was grinning; But one thing I know for sure, is that my childhood was a magical time.

💿

Choi Yumi's Perspective

My feet felt rooted to the ground as I stood before Kim Taesung's front door. It was as if I was paralysed. A million questions swirled through my mind; Was this really a good idea? What would Eunyoung say if she knew what I was up to? Why was I here? Every cell in my body was screaming at me to run away- go home! But I just couldn't; I couldn't take a step forward either.

Suddenly, my hand reached up to slap my face lightly. I realized that what I needed to do was start acting sane. This wasn't a big deal. I was just learning something new, and a friend of mine was helping me out. I heaved a sigh at my odd behaviour and pressed the doorbell.

I cracked my knuckles nervously as I heard footsteps nearing the door. I nearly fell backwards when the door swung open to reveal Taesung's face that stretched into a dimpled grin on seeing me, "You're here, piano girl?"

"I sure am," I said, trying to hide the awkwardness in my voice. It was at moments like this that I realised that among Eunyoung and I, god gave all the social skills to her; even though we weren't related.

He stepped aside, "Come in. And unclench your fists while you're at it. It makes me feel unsafe."

💿

"Put your index finger here."

"Here?"

"Yup. And then your middle finger here- yeah."

"Now?"

"Your ring finger has to be here."

"Is this right?" I asked Taesung. I had lost track of time as minutes slipped through my fingers while I sat in his living room. The silence that was once deafening at the start of our guitar lesson had now turned comfortable. The room would go silent every time we stopped talking and the room would be filled with the soft sound of our breathing. 

Just as I was getting less jittery, I looked up at Taesung who was already looking at me with his beady eyes. We were sitting so close. His arm held the guitar in my hand, brushing against my back ever so slightly. In my determination and focus, I never batted an eye at our proximity and I suddenly became conscious of it.  I felt my breath hitch as a warmth crept up my face. Once again, an unnatural stillness settled in the room. The both of us seemed to be holding our breaths, waiting. 

I tore away first, fixing my gaze on the coffee table in front of the couch, letting go of the guitar. He lunged to prevent it from crashing to the floor, "It's only your first lesson. I think it's a bit early to break the guitar so soon, don't you?"

Any reply I may have come up with me disappeared on the tip of my tongue.

"It's six-thirty already, should we call it a day?" he asked, looking at the clock.

"Yeah..." I replied, wide-eyed, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Unless you run away," he said, "And considering that look on your face, I would say it's very likely."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: eunyoung having her nostalgia moment and then yumi's having a quarter-life crisis.

delphi's notes: a cookie to the person who guesses where the lyrics are from.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xviii. the anatomy of a smile

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN ─ the anatomy of a smile.

❛ but i see sparks fly whenever you smile. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Oh! Eunyoung!" Inhyuk called out when he spotted Eunyoung on her way to school.

"Hmm?" she turned to look at him, "Oh, it's you. Hi."

"Hey," he began, "I visited Sunjae yesterday. He went on about today's school paper. He practically begged me to bring it for him. The fellow who distributes the papers in our class is a real ass. He won't give me any extra papers. Can you do me a favour and help me out? I have no idea why he's so hell bent on getting it."

A small smile surfaced on Eunyoung's face. He remembers.

"I'll bring it to him after school, don't worry," she assured him. Inhyuk cocked his head to the side in confusion. He seemed to be the only one left in the dark.

The previous evening

"Sunjae?" Eunyoung called out to him, knocking on the open hospital room door. None of the other patients seemed to be there, and Sunjae sat in solitude on his bed, staring blankly out of the window.

"Eunyoung?" his head whipped around sharply. A small smile surfaced on his face slowly. The despair in his eyes was very much evident despite his efforts to put up a brave front.

She returned his smile with the same sorrow in her eyes. She took a seat on the chair next to him, "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly?" he started, the smile fading from his face, "Not great. They said I won't be able to continue swimming."

I know. Eunyoung thought to herself. Each time she was faced with that reality, she could feel an ache in her heart. The lump in her throat left her speechless. Her hand reached forward to clutch Sunjae's, which seemed so huge in comparison. Sunjae's breath hitched at her sudden movement. The colour seemed to return to his face as he felt warmth blooming in his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," is all Eunyoung could muster out, "I'm sorry for coming late, I'm sorry you have to go through this."

"It's not your fault," Sunjae whispered.

A spark of warmth glimmered in the sterile hospital room, igniting a new kind of fire in them both. The silence conveyed feelings that neither of them could dare to put into words.

💿

Spotting Taesung exiting the music room before her, Yumi called out to him, evident excitement in her voice, "Taesung!" She approached him as he turned quickly to look at her. 

"Piano girl?"

"How original," she frowned.

"Why did you call out to me?" he asked her.

"Oh yeah," Yumi remembered, "The kitten let me pet it the other day!"

"Really?" he chuckled. He found her excitement strangely endearing. Yumi always seemed to be frowning or her eyebrows would be raised and her eyes would be wide with confusion. She had often stared at him blankly, making it impossible to guess what was on her mind. But her face lit up when she smiled. There was a glimmer in her eyes, and a soft redness on her cheeks. Taesung's heart pounded against his chest.

"I was right, wasn't I?" he said, trying way too hard to act cool. 

Could she tell I'm bluffing? Does she have any clue about the effect she has on me?

💿

The white walls of Sunjae's hospital room seemed a little less oppressive today. A sliver of sunlight snuck through the blinds, painting a warm rectangle across his lap. Sunjae, propped up against pillows, traced the lines of a sports magazine with a listless finger. The events unfolding on the pages held little interest for him. His own future in swimming felt like a deflated balloon, limp and useless.

A soft knock at the door startled him. Before he could answer, the door creaked open, revealing Eunyoung. Her eyes, usually sparkling with mischief, were clouded with worry. She clutched a neatly folded newspaper to her chest.

"Hey," Sunjae managed, a weak smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?"

Eunyoung shuffled closer, her gaze flitting between him and his father, who sat perched on a visitor's chair, a newspaper propped up in front of him. A hint of a blush crept up her neck.

"Actually, I brought you something," she mumbled, extending the newspaper towards him.

Sunjae's father chuckled, lowering his own paper. "He's been yapping about your article all morning. Took you long enough!" His tone was light, but Sunjae detected a playful jab in his words.

"I'm just glad someone's eager to read what I wrote."

Sunjae carefully unfolded the newspaper, his heart skipping a beat as he saw the headline: "Setting the Pace: A New Season for the Jagam High Swim Team" with his own team photo splashed right below it.

He scanned the article, his eyes widening with each paragraph. Eunyoung's words painted a vivid picture of the team, their dedication, and their unwavering spirit. He felt a forgotten spark ignite within him, a flicker of pride for his team and the sport he still loved.

"This is..." he stammered, searching for the right words. "This is amazing, Eunyoung! You captured everything perfectly. I could practically smell the chlorine."

A genuine smile bloomed on Eunyoung's face, chasing away the worry in her eyes. "Really? I'm glad you like it. Everyone misses you so much." Especially me.

"Maybe you can take some advice from Eunyoung," his dad advised Sunjae, a teasing smile forming on his face, "You never know! You might become a famous writer like her."

Sunjae swatted his father's arm playfully, a laugh escaping his lips for the first time since the surgery. "Don't listen to him, Eunyoung. He's just jealous he can't write like you."

The room, for a brief moment, was filled with a warmth that had nothing to do with the sunlight peering in through the window. It was the warmth of shared passion and perhaps, the beginning of a new kind of hope.

💿

"Sportsmanship is not just about good manners; it's about creating a positive environment where everyone can thrive. It's about fostering a love for the sport that goes beyond individual accolades, and it fills me with pride to know that the swimming team of Jagam High School navigates the triumphs and challenges of this season with this very sportsmanship as their guiding principle." Yumi read out from the newspaper in her hand.

Eunyoung's mother put down her chopsticks and clapped enthusiastically. A smile formed on Eunyoung's face as Yumi too joined in the applause. "We're so proud of you, Eunyoung!" said her mom.

"You do this every time I write something," said Eunyoung, embarrassed as she hid her face in her hands.

"It's because everything you write is so profoundly eloquent that Shakespeare would start shaking in his grave," replied Yumi dramatically.

"She's right, Eunyoung," their mom piped in, "At this rate you're going to become the CEO of a big news firm."

Eunyoung and Yumi exchanged glances, smiling at the fact that she had just predicted the future that only they knew about.

"Don't count your chickens," Eunyoung shrugged.

"You never know," said Yumi, grinning.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nayoung's notes: rare occasion where sunjae's dad doesn't embarrass his son.

delphi's notes: the best part of this chapter is how eunyoung's mom suddenly becomes a fortune teller.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!