Xxxii. Your Embrace

xlii. rain, romance and revelations

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CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO ─ rain, romance and revelations.

❛ but i can't help myself, when you get close to me ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Sunjae and I sat side by side on his living room couch, dripping with rainwater that soaked into the sofa fabric. The couch was large enough to seat at least four people, and yet we sat close together, soaking up each others' warmth, afraid to let go. One of Sunjae's jackets was now draped over my shoulders. My brain could hardy comprehend anything that was happening. He had found me in the rain and kissed me. I couldn't believe it. It was like a scene straight out of a rom-com movie. My heart pounded against my chest, and the rain and chilly breeze couldn't put out the fire inside me.

Sunjae reached for a towel, his movements unhurried and gentle, as if he were handling something precious. He stepped closer, the warmth of his presence cutting through the chill that clung to my skin. Without a word, he began drying my hair, his touch soft and deliberate. The fabric brushed against my scalp, and I could feel the care behind every motion.

My body froze for a moment, caught off guard by the intimacy of it all. My heart stumbled over its rhythm as I became fixated on him—on the way his eyes held a quiet tenderness, the kind that made it impossible to look away. His damp hair clung to his forehead, and I could see the faint shiver in his frame, but he didn't seem to care. His only focus was on me.

The butterflies in my stomach took flight, their wings fluttering wildly at the realization of how selfless he was. He didn't even think twice about his own discomfort, his own cold. His hands moved with a kind of attentiveness that made my chest tighten, like I'd stumbled into a dream I never wanted to wake up from.

Then he paused. His hands stilled, the towel resting lightly against my head. Slowly, he looked at me, his gaze shifting, as if he'd just realized how close we were—how my eyes hadn't left him for even a second. His expression softened, yet there was a flicker of uncertainty, of awareness that hadn't been there a moment ago.

I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, spreading like wildfire. My breath hitched, and I wondered if he could feel the way my pulse quickened, even though I wasn't sure I could speak. The air between us felt charged, delicate, as if a single word might break whatever spell we'd found ourselves under.

"What's the matter?" he asked softly. His voice rung like the melody of a love song.

"You're so sweet," I breathed out after a few seconds.

His face melted into a smile, showing his adorable dimple and his eyes becoming like crescent moons. My own lips stretched into a smile. All I wanted was to see him happy; No matter who he was with. But now here he was, wrapping his arms around my waist, smiling sweetly at me.

"I cant believe you avoided me for so many days."

"I do feel a bit silly now, thinking back," I giggled out, "But you really gave me a scare. I thought you were going away for good."

"I would have," he confessed, "If it weren't for someone making it impossible for me to go anywhere."

"I didn't realize you were so cheesy."

"So what, you don't like me anymore?" he asked, bringing his face closer to mine.

"I still like you," I answered with a laugh, giving him a short kiss. I watched his face and ears turn red in an instant and I couldn't help but chuckle. He's so cute...

Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening startled the both of us. Before we had any time to process what was happening, Sunjae's dad appeared with a blue cloth bag and an umbrella in his hand. He stood before us, paralyzed in a state of shock. I moved a bit further from Sunjae, trying to increase the distance between us.

"Oh! Eunyoung!" he exclaimed finally, "I see... you both got drenched in the rain! Oh, dear, you must be very cold..." He rattled on.

"I'll get going then!" I got up suddenly, waving an awkward goodbye to both of them.

"Sunjae, I'll- uh, return your jacket! Later..."

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

I watched as Eunyoung practically bolted out of my house after muttering out an excuse for my dad. Dammit, now I have to explain myself to my dad. Looking at my father's smug smile, I realized he must have put two and two together already.

"I wasn't born yesterday, son," he said, still smiling.

"I know," I gulped.

"I can't say I'm surprised."

"Oh, you're not?"

"Not a bit," he said rather confidently, "You finally got your act together!"

"So," I began, "You're okay with this? With Eunyoung and I-"

"Okay?! Oh, I'm more than okay!" he let out a hearty laugh, "You have my blessing!"

I felt my heart relax and I let out a sigh of relief. I had my father's permission. He was a stubborn man, and it was a huge deal. I just hope Eunyoung's mother is as supportive.

Narrator's Perspective

Eunyoung, her mother and Yumi sat in the living room for dinner while the rain pitter-pattered against the windows. Everyone was eating in silence- as they often did, but tonight, Eunyoung kept smiling to herself every few seconds while still looking down at her plate. Her mom glanced at Yumi, hoping that she would know why Eunyoung was so happy. 

"We gotta get used to this," she said loudly.

Eunyoung looked up at Yumi in confusion, "What?"

"Why is that?" Their mother asked tentatively. 

"You wanna tell her or should I?" Yumi asked Eunyoung.

"Tell her about what?"

"About your boyfriend."

Her mother's eyebrows shot up, "Boyfriend?"

"Oh," Eunyoung realized, "Right. I was going to tell you after things were official... but I guess since Yumi's already spilled the beans... I'll just tell you. I'm dating this guy..."

"Who?"

"Oh, you know," Eunyoung avoided her gaze, looking at the walls behind where her mother was seated, a red tinge appearing on her face, "It's umm... Sunjae. Ryu Sunjae- you know he lives-"

"Oh," her mother exclaimed, pleasantly surprised, "The guy next door? He seemed nice..."

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nana's notes: cute chapter after all the hell i put them thru :P last chapter before my hiatus :( see u in april!

delphi's notes: somebody check my blood sugar this is too sweet-

next chapter: april 1st list of chapters here!

lv. in the shadows

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CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE ─ in the shadows.

❛ oh this place is the same as it ever was but you don't like it ❜

Narrator's Perspective

The members of Eclipse sat around a small coffee table on mismatched couches and chairs in Inhyuk's humble abode. The walls stained with water leakages and chipping paint were filled with posters and random picture frames. A white electric fan was plugged in in one corner of the room filled the place with a constant whirring sound that cut through their silence. All of them knew what there was to discuss. They were just waiting for someone to bring it up.

Their equipment- drums, guitars, a piano and mics, crowded the tiny room that seemed too small with the four of them there. When they had the Jagam School Music Club to practice, things were different. But now that they used their own practice space, their dream of being a famous band seemed unrealistic and childish. Everyone was this close to calling it quits, yet none of them had the heart to voice their concerns. So Sunjae, Inhyuk, Taesung and Jay sat in silence, staring at the instruments longingly.

"I don't think I'll be able to stay till the university festival," Inhyuk spoke at last, "I'm not able to pay rent here, and my parents are calling me back to my village. I'm also going to have to drop out of college. I'm really sorry guys."

"I've also been thinking of calling it quits," Taesung said, placing a hand on his guitar, "It all seems a little pointless now."

His joy for playing the guitar had diminished after everything that went down with Yumi. While teaching Yumi, he had hit a high point in his life. It felt amazing to pass on his skill to someone he cared so much about. After the accident, the guitar seemed almost heavy in his arms, like a burden he had to carry along with the guilt of hurting Yumi. The scar on his face was a constant reminder of his mistake.

"If you all are leaving..." Jay couldn't get himself to finish his sentence.

Sunjae stood up in disbelief, "So, that's it?" he asked, frowning, "You're all just going to sulk and give up because a few things didn't go your way? Is that all this meant to you? Come on, we're better than this!"

"You don't get it, Sunjae," Inhyuk said wearily, "It's not going to work. In fact it's not been working for a while now. We just need to accept it now"

💿

"What was so important that we had to meet like this?" Taesung asked, staring down at the cracked pavement beneath his sneakers. His voice carried a mix of irritation and curiosity. "It feels like I'm doing a drug deal."

The sun hung mercilessly in the afternoon sky, its rays sharp and unrelenting. The heat wrapped around him like an unwelcome second skin, and sweat clung to his brow before trickling down the side of his face. The neighborhood was eerily quiet—no kids playing, no distant hum of lawnmowers—just the oppressive weight of midsummer silence. Most people had wisely chosen to stay indoors, leaving the two of them alone on the deserted street.

"Oh, and you'd know how a drug deal works?" Eunyoung quipped, folding her arms across her chest. Her voice had the usual teasing edge, but it was undercut by an unusual tension. She had something important to say—something that had been eating at her—but now that she was here, face-to-face with Taesung, she found herself second-guessing her decision. Could she really trust him with this?

"What did you want to ask me?" Taesung pressed, letting her taunt roll off him like water off a duck's back. He was used to her jabs by now; they were as routine as the rising sun. He sighed, his gaze flickering up to meet hers. "You didn't drag me out here just to be annoying, right?"

"Well..." Eunyoung hesitated, her eyes darting away. Her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her shirt as she tried to gather her thoughts. "Your dad is a cop, right?"

"Yeah," Taesung replied, his brow furrowing slightly. His voice carried a note of suspicion now. "Why?"

"How do I know?" Eunyoung echoed his unspoken question, as though anticipating it. "Yumi told me," she said simply, as if that explained everything.

"Of course she did," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

"When are you going to man up and tell her how you feel?" Eunyoung asked abruptly, her tone sharp and cutting through the heavy air. She leaned closer, her expression equal parts exasperation and challenge. It was a question she'd been holding back for too long, but her patience had finally worn thin. Ever since the accident, Taesung's feelings for Yumi had been impossible to ignore. They hovered around him like a shadow, obvious to everyone but him. "How long am I supposed to act like I don't see what's going on?"

Taesung froze, caught off guard. His ears turned a vivid shade of red, and he stammered, "Is that what you wanted to ask me?"

"This discussion isn't over," Eunyoung warned, narrowing her eyes. "But no, that's not why I asked you here." She straightened, her playful tone replaced by something heavier.

"You mentioned my dad," Taesung reminded her, seizing the opportunity to steer the conversation away from the uncomfortable subject of Yumi. "What about him?"

"Right," Eunyoung said, exhaling a shaky breath. She rubbed the back of her neck, avoiding his gaze. "I... know someone who's been involved in some crimes, and I need someone trustworthy to help catch them."

"There's no one better than my dad for that," Taesung said, his tone even. It was clear he wasn't saying it out of admiration, just cold fact. "What kind of crimes?"

"Oh, you know..." Eunyoung mumbled, glancing at the ground as though it might provide her an escape. "Money laundering, gambling... that sort of thing."

"What?!" Taesung's eyes widened in shock. His voice pitched up, the incredulity plain on his face. "What's any of that got to do with you?"

Eunyoung hesitated again, her fingers twisting together. The truth hovered on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it down. "I'm not sure I should say," she murmured, doubt flickering across her face.

"It's fine," Taesung said gently. His voice softened, as though sensing her unease. "I'm not going to tell anyone."

Eunyoung took a deep breath, bracing herself. "It's my dad," she confessed quietly, the words heavy in the summer air. "My dad's the criminal."

Taesung froze, his expression shifting from surprise to something deeper—shock mixed with disbelief. His mouth opened as if to respond, but no words came out. What was there to say to a revelation like that?

"He came to see me the other day," Eunyoung continued, her voice steady despite the knot tightening in her chest. She couldn't tell him the truth—that she knew about her father because she was from the future. Instead, she stuck to the story she'd prepared. "He told me everything. He wanted me to convince my mom to lend him some money, but I refused and walked away."

For a long moment, Taesung said nothing. Then he nodded slowly, his expression unreadable. "I can get you in touch with my father," he said quietly. "He'll know what to do."

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nana's notes: someone send help-

delphi's notes: shit's bout to go down

xxxv. tunnel vision

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CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE ─ tunnel vision.

❛ we got nothing else to do, and nothing else to lose ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Eunyoung stood at Sunjae's doorstep, her backpack hanging from one shoulder as her legs shook nervously. The truth was that she was so insanely anxious. It was a foreign feeling to Eunyoung who tends to look at the positive aspect of every situation. But her stupid little crush on Sunjae had her considering all the horrible possibilities by which she could screw up. What if she stuttered and stammered like an idiot? What if she was too distracted and couldn't help Sunjae at all? All these trivial matters occupied her mind as she fidgeted with her clothes.

She then remembered the previous night...

Eunyoung paced around her room biting her lip in frustration. After all the lengths she went to to prevent Sunjae's death, nothing had changed in the future. He was still dead. And time was running out. Depression. Suicide. These words rang in her mind in an endless loop. They made her heart twist and ache unbearably. What could he possibly have been going through for him to make such a decision? 

Fear crept in her mind. The future seemed to be advancing like a hungry beast, ready to take Sunjae away from her once again. Then, all of a sudden, like a light had been turned on in her brain, she had an idea. Her eyes shifted to her window, which was facing Sunjae's. His window was open, and no one seemed to be there inside. 

She scrambled through her drawers and pulled out a blank, blue sheet.

"I know life's tough sometimes. It feels like everything is falling apart and the world has turned it's back. But you need to hold on to hope. Lean on your loved ones. Because they're the ones who are always rooting for you."

She poured her heart out onto the paper and made a bunch of  folds. Eunyoung herself was amazed at her memory and at how her mind suddenly pulled out everything she learnt from some random origami workshop she attended. Everything had gone through one ear and come out through another. But, somehow she seemed to remember just one thing. Paper airplanes. Destiny had been working in strange ways, leading her to Sunjae.

Then, she did one of the most irrational things in her life. She leaned on her window sill and threw the paper airplane as she watched it land inside his house.

Taking in a deep breath, Eunyoung reached out and rang the doorbell. She waited before the blue gate till Sunjae's father emerged from the main entrance of their house and approached her with a wide, toothy grin. Eunyoung returned his smile. It had been a while since she had seen his father and she was glad to see his warm greeting.

"Oh, come in, dear," he said, unlatching the front door.

As they stepped into the house, her father motioned her to sit down. Sitting down on the little sofa in the center of their living room. It was a cozy little dwelling, with warm lamps and light bulbs and a brown carpet lying across the floor.

"So, Eunyoung," his father began, "What brings you here?"

"I'm here to help Sunjae with math," the moment those words fell out of Eunyoung's mouth, Sunjae's father's expression suddenly turned grave. She chuckled at the worry on his face.

"Ah, yes," he said, sounding embarrassed, "It is quite a... ehh... shameful thing. He got an earful from me already."

"Nothing to worry about, really," she said with a small laugh, "He'll catch up soon."

"Well, if there's anyone who can help him, it's you!"

While Eunyoung's ears turned red at Sunjae's blind faith in her abilities, she heard a thudding as Sunjae's tall figure emerged from a flight of stairs. He was dressed in simple, black track pants and a navy blue tshirt, and yet Eunyoung's eyes turned wide. The mere sight of him made her feel like her heart would jump out of her chest.

"Sorry I kept you waiting," he said sheepishly, shooting her a dimpled smile that she hadn't seen in far too long. His smile never failed to fill her heart with a comfortable warmth that she could easily get used to. A blush crept up her cheeks that she tried her best to hide.

"Nonsense," she waved her hand in front of her face, "Your father is a great conversationalist."

"Pfft!" his dad laughed heartily, "You flatter me."

"Should we get started?" Sunjae interrupted rather impatiently. His dad smiled knowingly, aware of his eagerness to spend time with Eunyoung.

"Oh, yes let's do that."

They made their way up the stairs, then entered Sunjae's bedroom. The door shut with a thud behind them, and they were alone at last. Eunyoung scanned his room briefly, a smile surfacing on her lips. There were trophies, certificates, medals on display and her eyes lingered on the photos of Sunjae. 

"There's a lot of blue in here," she observed. Suddenly, her smile grew wider as she spotted the blue paper from the paper airplane she had sent the previous day.

"My favorite color," Sunjae said, the words basically fumbled out of his mouth. His heart was pounding in his chest, daring to jump out any second. His gaze lingered on Eunyoung. She wore a pair of dark blue, comfortable-looking jeans with a dusty pink top. She looked as pretty as ever, with her long, flowing hair and sparkling eyes. He quickly looked away, feeling the warmth on his face.

They sat down at his desk, and Sunjae's lethargic and sloth-like movement indicated his unwillingness to study. The truth was that if he could, he could sit and stare at Eunyoung in admiration for the rest of his life. Snapping out of his trance, he blinked his eyes rapidly and took out his math textbooks .

"What are your grades like in other subjects?" she inquired, turning to look at him.

"A B is probably the most I've ever gotten," he answered, his ears turning red in shame. This wasn't exactly the side of himself he wanted Eunyoung to know.

The small, rather elegant chuckle that escaped her mouth filled his ears, "You don't have to look so embarrassed, Sunjae, I'm here to help you, not judge you."

There it was again. She had such a way with words, the way she weaved them just the right way. Her words never failed to be a source of strength for him. This newfound vulnerability filled him with a sense of comfortability instead of the usual unease and fear that came with opening up to someone.

"So, what do you hate most about math?"

"Algebra," he said, sounding quite petrified.

"Then let's start with that."

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nana's notes: sunjae's dad being the best wingman ever.

delphi's notes: FEAR OF ALGEBRA IS SO REALL. eunyoung you demon.

next chapter: saturday (out now) list of chapters here!

xlvi. intoxicating

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CHAPTER FORTY-SIX ─ intoxicating.

❛ the taste of your lips is my idea of luxury ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Night had fallen on that obscure hillside hidden away in the middle of a forest. A chilling, cold stillness hung in the air, threatening to bite anyone who dared to step out. Even the never-ending buzz of the Yeonseo University students had died down, enveloping the place in complete silence. Everything went on within the tents- late night talks and hushed conversations. Outside, just the crickets chirped endlessly, singing their symphonies throughout the night. There were soft, warm, yellow fairy lights that gave a tender illumination to the campsite, just bright enough to make out vague shapes in the night.

Eunyoung sat on the makeshift stage, giggling to herself. Being really bad at drinking games, she had taken one too many shots and had gotten extremely drunk to the point where she didn't have any control over what she was doing or saying. Her mind fogged with confusion and uncertainty, yet she didn't move from her seat. Sunjae's jacket was now draped on her legs that shivered with the biting cold. She let out another soft giggle.

The sound of leaves crunching under someone's feet fell upon her ears and she became suddenly alert. The sound grew louder, as if someone was advancing towards her. Louder and louder, till a tall figure emerged through the darkness. It took a few moments for Eunyoung, in her drunken state, to figure out who it was. The dim glow of the fairy light helped her understand that she was looking at none other than Ryu Sunjae.

The sight of him seemed to sober her up momentarily. He was roaming about with no shirt or any clothing covering his upper body. She could only see him wearing black trousers in the barren cold of the night. Her gaze traced the contours of his upper body, lingering on every sharp definition and smooth curve carved by years of discipline. The play of light accentuated the ridges of his toned muscles, the strength in his broad shoulders, and the graceful taper of his torso. His arms were masterpieces that hung by the pockets of his trousers. Each line and shadow seemed sculpted, as if his body were a masterpiece crafted by the gods themselves. Her eyes followed the subtle shift of his muscles with every movement, captivated by him like never before.

Their eyes met, and there was a silent agreement between them. Sunjae's face flushed with warmth, feeling slightly embarrassed that she had seen him like that. Despite his embarrassment, he couldn't help but notice her shivering in the cold. Putting aside his own pain in the frosty air, he made his way to where she was sitting.

Eunyoung watched as he walked towards her, his figure becoming increasingly clear in the yellow light. She felt a kind of warmth creeping up her cheeks, which she wasn't in a state to decide whether it was because of all the soju in her system or because of the majestic man standing before her. She turned her head up to look into his beautiful, glass-like eyes. Her lips stretched into a smile, "Sunjae," she called out longingly.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked, frowning, his voice full of concern and worry, "It's freezing, why are you still here? Are you... drunk?" He cupped her face without thinking much of it and examined her flushed face and dazed eyes, "You are, oh god."

She pushed his hands away, confusing him even more. She pushed herself off the stage, standing to face him. He picked up the jacket that slipped onto the ground- his jacket. He noticed how she almost came up to his ears. She's so tall... He tied it around her waist as carefully as he could.

Eunyoung's unreadable expression perplexed him to no end. She gazed into his eyes for a long time, eventually smiling at his confusion. Her hand reached up to caress his face, feeling warmer than her hands that shivered in the cold. There was a new kind of bravery burning inside her. Her hand traced the definition on his shoulders, feeling his arms sculpted by endless hard work. Trailing down to his chest, and then his waist, her fingers lingering on his toned abs as she watched in wonder. Finally, in a delicate motion, her arms rested on the sides of his waist.

Every touch sent sparks flying across Sunjae's skin. His heart pounded in his ears. He'd never felt this way and he couldn't possibly put the feeling into words. Her chilly hands feeling up his body and fingers tracing every sharp edge and curve seemed to burst fireworks inside him. Their eyes locked in a split second, never looking away. This felt so right. His body fit perfectly in her hands- as if they were made only for each other.

"How could you be roaming around like that? What if someone else except me had seen you?" she asked, stepping closer to him. Her hands moved back up to his shoulders, one hand cupping his face. It took him a few seconds to realize that she was no longer looking into his eyes. Her gaze lingered on his pillowy lips.

"I can't believe you're so oblivious. You're beautiful. I like you, silly. More than anyone or anything else. You're all I want. Stay here with me, won't you?"

Those words were all he ever wished to hear from Eunyoung.

His eyes examined her features in the illumination of the dim fairy light. The slope of her nose that was unbelievably perfect, and her intoxicating gaze that stared right at his lips. And her glossy lips that seemed to shine even on that dark night and her radiant skin that seemed to have a soft glow through her flushed cheeks.

Before Sunjae had a chance to comprehend the situation, Eunyoung reached up and pressed her lips onto his. The kiss was like fireworks on new years day. He overcame the initial shock, giving in to her touch. His hands reached for her waist, pulling her closer. She pulled away for a few seconds to admire his face. The cold didn't seem to matter anymore while they held each other.

There was no need for words in that moment while he looked at her with a kind of hunger and longing in his eyes. Those two years of accidental touches and thoughtful actions dismissed as friendship had led up to this moment. She likes me. And I like her. Nothing else mattered to Sunjae. This was all he ever needed. All his self-doubt and negativity melted away into something insignificant.

He pulled her towards himself by her waist, kissing her lips harder than before. He could now feel the slight taste of her sweet lip gloss mixing with the intoxicating taste of alcohol as their lips moved against each others' without a care in the world. Eunyoung's hands roamed his back absent-mindedly, feeling the warmth of his body against her chilly hands that seemed to thaw at his touch. Feeling a tiny bit of his hand against an exposed part of her waist pulled her in deeper. The kiss seemed to make her sober for a moment, butterflies taking flight in her stomach just like the first time she laid her eyes on him.

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nana's notes: it took them forty six chapters but they finally did it

delphi's notes: who's gonna match eunyoung's freak?

previous chapter next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

( +🎧 ) take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die . . .

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

so obsessed with her lately 🍓 PS: sorry for the post and ghost 🫢🤐 edit: HELP- i was supposed to post this on my sideblog TT

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

omg 😭 i cant believe its been a year!!

　 　♡﹒ and you almost ran red, cause you were looking at me . . .

  ˳ 𓇼       、wind in my hair, i was there, i remember it all too well.

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

xviii. the anatomy of a smile

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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN ─ the anatomy of a smile.

❛ but i see sparks fly whenever you smile. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Oh! Eunyoung!" Inhyuk called out when he spotted Eunyoung on her way to school.

"Hmm?" she turned to look at him, "Oh, it's you. Hi."

"Hey," he began, "I visited Sunjae yesterday. He went on about today's school paper. He practically begged me to bring it for him. The fellow who distributes the papers in our class is a real ass. He won't give me any extra papers. Can you do me a favour and help me out? I have no idea why he's so hell bent on getting it."

A small smile surfaced on Eunyoung's face. He remembers.

"I'll bring it to him after school, don't worry," she assured him. Inhyuk cocked his head to the side in confusion. He seemed to be the only one left in the dark.

The previous evening

"Sunjae?" Eunyoung called out to him, knocking on the open hospital room door. None of the other patients seemed to be there, and Sunjae sat in solitude on his bed, staring blankly out of the window.

"Eunyoung?" his head whipped around sharply. A small smile surfaced on his face slowly. The despair in his eyes was very much evident despite his efforts to put up a brave front.

She returned his smile with the same sorrow in her eyes. She took a seat on the chair next to him, "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly?" he started, the smile fading from his face, "Not great. They said I won't be able to continue swimming."

I know. Eunyoung thought to herself. Each time she was faced with that reality, she could feel an ache in her heart. The lump in her throat left her speechless. Her hand reached forward to clutch Sunjae's, which seemed so huge in comparison. Sunjae's breath hitched at her sudden movement. The colour seemed to return to his face as he felt warmth blooming in his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," is all Eunyoung could muster out, "I'm sorry for coming late, I'm sorry you have to go through this."

"It's not your fault," Sunjae whispered.

A spark of warmth glimmered in the sterile hospital room, igniting a new kind of fire in them both. The silence conveyed feelings that neither of them could dare to put into words.

💿

Spotting Taesung exiting the music room before her, Yumi called out to him, evident excitement in her voice, "Taesung!" She approached him as he turned quickly to look at her. 

"Piano girl?"

"How original," she frowned.

"Why did you call out to me?" he asked her.

"Oh yeah," Yumi remembered, "The kitten let me pet it the other day!"

"Really?" he chuckled. He found her excitement strangely endearing. Yumi always seemed to be frowning or her eyebrows would be raised and her eyes would be wide with confusion. She had often stared at him blankly, making it impossible to guess what was on her mind. But her face lit up when she smiled. There was a glimmer in her eyes, and a soft redness on her cheeks. Taesung's heart pounded against his chest.

"I was right, wasn't I?" he said, trying way too hard to act cool. 

Could she tell I'm bluffing? Does she have any clue about the effect she has on me?

💿

The white walls of Sunjae's hospital room seemed a little less oppressive today. A sliver of sunlight snuck through the blinds, painting a warm rectangle across his lap. Sunjae, propped up against pillows, traced the lines of a sports magazine with a listless finger. The events unfolding on the pages held little interest for him. His own future in swimming felt like a deflated balloon, limp and useless.

A soft knock at the door startled him. Before he could answer, the door creaked open, revealing Eunyoung. Her eyes, usually sparkling with mischief, were clouded with worry. She clutched a neatly folded newspaper to her chest.

"Hey," Sunjae managed, a weak smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?"

Eunyoung shuffled closer, her gaze flitting between him and his father, who sat perched on a visitor's chair, a newspaper propped up in front of him. A hint of a blush crept up her neck.

"Actually, I brought you something," she mumbled, extending the newspaper towards him.

Sunjae's father chuckled, lowering his own paper. "He's been yapping about your article all morning. Took you long enough!" His tone was light, but Sunjae detected a playful jab in his words.

"I'm just glad someone's eager to read what I wrote."

Sunjae carefully unfolded the newspaper, his heart skipping a beat as he saw the headline: "Setting the Pace: A New Season for the Jagam High Swim Team" with his own team photo splashed right below it.

He scanned the article, his eyes widening with each paragraph. Eunyoung's words painted a vivid picture of the team, their dedication, and their unwavering spirit. He felt a forgotten spark ignite within him, a flicker of pride for his team and the sport he still loved.

"This is..." he stammered, searching for the right words. "This is amazing, Eunyoung! You captured everything perfectly. I could practically smell the chlorine."

A genuine smile bloomed on Eunyoung's face, chasing away the worry in her eyes. "Really? I'm glad you like it. Everyone misses you so much." Especially me.

"Maybe you can take some advice from Eunyoung," his dad advised Sunjae, a teasing smile forming on his face, "You never know! You might become a famous writer like her."

Sunjae swatted his father's arm playfully, a laugh escaping his lips for the first time since the surgery. "Don't listen to him, Eunyoung. He's just jealous he can't write like you."

The room, for a brief moment, was filled with a warmth that had nothing to do with the sunlight peering in through the window. It was the warmth of shared passion and perhaps, the beginning of a new kind of hope.

💿

"Sportsmanship is not just about good manners; it's about creating a positive environment where everyone can thrive. It's about fostering a love for the sport that goes beyond individual accolades, and it fills me with pride to know that the swimming team of Jagam High School navigates the triumphs and challenges of this season with this very sportsmanship as their guiding principle." Yumi read out from the newspaper in her hand.

Eunyoung's mother put down her chopsticks and clapped enthusiastically. A smile formed on Eunyoung's face as Yumi too joined in the applause. "We're so proud of you, Eunyoung!" said her mom.

"You do this every time I write something," said Eunyoung, embarrassed as she hid her face in her hands.

"It's because everything you write is so profoundly eloquent that Shakespeare would start shaking in his grave," replied Yumi dramatically.

"She's right, Eunyoung," their mom piped in, "At this rate you're going to become the CEO of a big news firm."

Eunyoung and Yumi exchanged glances, smiling at the fact that she had just predicted the future that only they knew about.

"Don't count your chickens," Eunyoung shrugged.

"You never know," said Yumi, grinning.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nayoung's notes: rare occasion where sunjae's dad doesn't embarrass his son.

delphi's notes: the best part of this chapter is how eunyoung's mom suddenly becomes a fortune teller.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xvii. bandaids don't fix bullet holes

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN ─ bandaids don't fix bullet holes.

❛ who do i have to speak to about if they can change the prophecy?❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

Meow!

The moment the shrill sound reached my ears, I looked around frantically to see where it was coming from. I hadn't seen the kitten in a few days; Now that I think about it, the last time I saw her was when Taesung was petting it. I advanced towards the bushes behind the bus stop near the music club. There it was, a tiny ball of grey fur hidden in the overgrown green shrubbery. 

I crouched down slowly and cautiously, taking a deep breath. Every instinct in me screamed to scoop up the fragile creature, but Taesung's advice echoed in my head. Blinking slowly, mimicking the cat's lazy blinks, I extended my hand, palm down. The kitten, all matted fur and wide, wary eyes, remained frozen. A pang of disappointment squeezed my heart. Maybe Taesung's advice only worked for him.

Just as she was about to withdraw her hand, a tiny pink tongue darted out, giving my fingers a tentative lick. A delighted gasp escaped my lips. The tension in the kitten's body seemed to ease, and it nudged its head against my palm, purring like a little engine. A warmth bloomed in my chest, a warmth that had nothing to do with the summer heat.

The little kitten's gestures, its soft blinking and mouth that seemed to smile, all resembled Taesung. It was as if I could see his face in front of me, unserious as ever. 

"You know, you look exactly like him," I whispered to the kitten, who was merely a clueless furball purring against the palm of my hand.

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

It was a regular summer afternoon─ except it wasn't. The bright light from the blazing sun entered my room through the gaps of my curtain. The humidity in the air pressed upon me like a burden I had been carrying for many years. My lunch seemed to have started dancing in my stomach, making me drowsier; But there was a different something that kept me alert. My school books lay open on the desk in front of me as I sat in my spinning chair, my head leaning against the backrest. I fidgeted with the pencil in my heart.

Today wasn't just any ordinary day, it was the day of Sunjae's surgery. My left leg shook like a 4.0 magnitude earthquake, occasionally hitting the underside of my study table, sending a shooting pain through my body. My eyes fixed on the window in front of me─ Sunjae's bedroom window. I had often caught glances of him moving around his room, going about his life. The events of last week flashed before me. 

The sharp sound of his father's palm against Sunjae's face still echoed in my mind. The sound of Sunjae's frantic footsteps against the pavement coming to a sudden halt when I stopped him; Our quiet sobs as we clung onto each other, and the space between us was too clear in my head. I could practically see it unfold in front of my eyes.

A single tear traced a cool path down my cheek, a stark contrast to the prickling heat that had bloomed on my face. I reached up to wipe it away, the sterile silence of the apartment pressing down on me. But the quiet couldn't contain the storm brewing inside. My body seemed to act on autopilot, a stark contrast to the sluggish crawl of time earlier. I bolted from my chair, a desperate energy coursing through me.

"Mom! I'm going out for some time!" I yelled, the words tumbling out in a rush. The nail salon door clattered shut behind a customer as I raced down the stairs, not bothering to lace up my shoes. My mom's reply, if there was one, was lost in the pounding of my own heart. 

Everything seemed to happen so fast. Jumping into a taxi, I blurted out the name of the hospital, feeling a desperate need to be near Sunjae. Was he okay? Had the surgery gone well? I had to know. My hands reached for my skirt pocket, as a sigh of relief escaped my mouth knowing that my wallet was still there.

Bursting through the automatic doors, I skidded to a halt, chest heaving. The sterile smell of disinfectant stung my nostrils, a harsh counterpoint to the frantic questions bubbling up my throat. But before I could voice any of them, a sliver of conversation snagged my attention, pulling me towards a curtained-off area.

"...extensive damage," a doctor's voice, grave and laced with sympathy, drifted through a door left ajar. "The surgery went well, but the nerves... I'm afraid competitive swimming is out of the question."

My heart, as if it was made of glass, shattered into a million pieces scattered across the hospital floor. The world seemed to tilt on its axis, the sterile white walls morphing into a dizzying maze. Sunjae wouldn't be able to swim? The very foundation of his dreams, his passion, shattered? A strangled sob escaped my lips, the sound harsh and alien in the sterile silence. My hand flew to my mouth, muffling the sound, but the damage was done.

As I sat on the metal benches outside the room where Sunjae was, the contact of my legs against the metal was almost as cold as the reality that had been shoved in my face a few moments ago. All my feelings of self-loathing and self-doubt had become a mush in my chest as my muffled sobs echoed against the pale white hospital walls. The sitting area was almost devoid of people. The occasional nurses and doctors passing by paid no attention to the breakdown I was having.

After all, the sight of someone crying in a hospital is not an uncommon thing.

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae emerged from the operation room, the syringe poking through his hand was a painful reminder of the doctor's words. His heart ached for the ruins of his future career, reduced to dust. He leaned against a wall, heaving a deep sigh as he felt a lump in his throat as he felt the tears forming in his eyes. Just then, the sound of muffled sobbing reached his ears before his tears could spill out. He thought he was hearing things,  but this presumption was quickly disproved as he peeked into the waiting area.

A girl sitting in solitude on the metal benches─ Eunyoung. Sunjaes heart seemed to stop at the sight. She leaned forward, her head buried in her hands as her sobs echoed through the empty hospital halls. This seemed to send a shooting pain through Sunjae. She was crying because of him, he thought to himself.

Sunjae had never felt more pathetic as he watched her from a distance, not daring to take a single step forward. 

A single tear slipped down his cheek.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nayoung's notes: i cried while writing this btw.

delphi's notes: i think i'm emotionally attached to this cat. (the other one too)

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!