Would Let Him Make Me Juno Any Time Any Day

if i survived a slasher it’s because i fucked him

I love my solitude but I was meant to be a lover

Need him in the ways that are concerning to feminism

tweaking out i love hot nerds

“slut era” i whisper to myself as i rot in my bed, sick like a frail victorian child

nothing dry abt the way i hump

And I’ll hold your hands when I say this: my favorite trope has to be Theo Nott x russian girl. I believe the Italian bf and russian gf pairing is the hottest pairing possible.

I imagine them going to Moscow every winter break, to visit her family and spend the most fairytale-like winter there, walking the streets, buying her a new fur coat, dressing up for a night out in the Bolshoy Theatre, partying with her russian friends (and do believe me Russians know how to party), maybe inviting the whole slytherin gang too.

They’d then take a 3 day trip to St. Petersburg to see the art exhibition at the Hermitage museum (I just know they both are massive art enjoyers) and maybe do some sightseeing and walking along the streets of the old city center.

Now thinking of how they met…

Theo turned into a puddle the first time he saw her, some animalistic urge - to get this woman to be his - gnawing at him. He yearned, in fact. It didn’t help that she was straightforward, confident, HOT and so so feminine, it’s like she carried a bag of pheromones with her. Her Russian background, though, and her formidable father kept the guys at bay. Not Theodore though. My boy was cooked the day he heard her swear in russian.

As tough as she may have seemed, she couldn’t resist his Italian charm (can’t blame her). Some pining on both sides and one angry love confession after they became inseparable. And trust me when I say they matched each others freak perfectly.

i’m v cute and my boobs are big