People Used To Have Media Literacy, Now You Find Lolita On The Booktok Romance Section On Libraries

The 2005-2006 Under the Red Hood arc is 90% Jason having a great time fucking with everyone, 10% Jason have a very bad time, and 100% everyone else having an absolutely terrible time (mostly because of Jason).

Bruce Wayne’s search history:

This outfit 10/10

Dick, hearing Bruce’s explanation for Jason: This is kidnapping.

Bruce: That’s a little melodramatic.

Jason, ten years old: Yeah, he just told me to get in the car and now I live with him.

Bruce: Well when you put it like that I may have been a little rash-

batman: what’s the situation?

commissioner gordon: Harley and Ivy have hijacked an AM radio station and taken the employees hostage

batman: what are their demands?

commissioner gordon: they haven’t issued any. they, uh.

batman:

[commisioner gordon turns on the radio]

harley: —you gotta walk away, sweetie. His family sounds completely toxic, if not outright emotionally abusive, and he’s too enmeshed to see it.

caller: no, you’re right. you’re right. I gotta do it.

harley: you got this, honey. now, stay on the line a minute, I’m writing down some the names of some books for you and you can get those from Ivy after we’re done. okay! our next caller —

[commisioner gordon turns off the radio]

batman: what station is this?

commisioner gordon: WGTM.

batman: the one that rebroadcasts rush limbaugh?

commissioner gordon:

batman:

commisioner gordon: you know what, i probably didn’t need to call you for this.

Ripley: Oh that’s the mural from the void century

Franky: The wha-

I think it would be very cool if Jason todd was meta-human and his whole thing was that he just kept coming back to life.

It would funtion like an advanced healing ability but only after he dies and only to make him alive again not necessarily to heal all his wounds. Just a really shitty healing ability that only works when he's dead and only just enough to get him one foot out of the grave.

At the very least I like it better than the other reasons canon's supplied us with why he's come back to life.

It’s a sunny day in Gotham, one of three they’ve had all year, and Bruce has been bullied by his doctor to go outside and get some sun. He’s slathering himself in sunscreen and is just about to finish up his face when he gets a text.:

Clark: JL meeting at 3PM Tuesday. Luthor is active again :(

Bruce: ✓ Seen 8:27 AM

Mind spinning about what Luthor could be up to, Bruce puts his phone down and dives into the pool.

—

The next morning, Bruce wakes up with his nose feeling strange. He examines it in the mirror and sees it’s lobster red. He never finished applying the sunscreen.

Bruce: Hn

Damian: Father. You look like a fool.

—

By Tuesday, Bruce’s nose is peeling. He shrugs it off and heads to the meeting. Once they’ve all settled down, he realizes his cowl is irritating his nose. Since the attendees are only Diana, Barry, Hal, J’onn, and Clark, he pulls the cowl off so he can concentrate.

Clark, finishing up his points on Luthor’s latest scheme: Any questions?

Hal: I’ve got one. Spooky, how come your nose is all white and flaky?

Bruce, flipping through his mental Rolodex of responses: Hn.

Hal: What, do you have that white nose fungus syndrome that bats get? Lol.

Bruce, stopping his mental Rolodex at Gain Sympathy:

Bruce: Are you treating me unfairly due to my medical condition?

Hal: What?

Bruce: Clark, is this workplace harassment?

Clark: Hal. :(

Hal: But he’s always…????!!! He’s… a BAT?!

Clark: Hal, I’m going have to report this to HR :/

Bruce to Damian: If you see any of your siblings doing something that appears reckless, such as jumping off of a cliff, don't hesitate in following them, they've definitely accounted for every possible variable.

Bruce: Except for Tim. If you see Tim anywhere near a cliff, tranquilize him immediately.