Blitz And Self-hatred, Plus His Self-forgiveness Journey.
Blitz and self-hatred, plus his self-forgiveness journey.
Aka, watch me try to make sense of the massive lore drops in ghostfuckers. (Long post alert, my first meta post after ghostfuckers dropped)
Section 1: The roots of Blitz's self-hatred.
The circus fire. We know what Blitz's actions were that day, he saw Fizzarolli, and tried to call for help, but then he realized that Tilla was also caught up in the fire, and instantly rushed over to attempt to save her the moment Blitz realized that fact.
We know that Fizzarolli getting severely hurt in that fire affected Blitz very deeply, considering that it was one of the memories in that slideshow.
If you look at this frame by frame, you can see some sort of face in the fire when Blitz is rushing to save Tilla from the fire. The face in that fire looks like a mix of an angry face and a screaming face at the same time. Signaling that Tilla has been consumed by the flames. That she's dead.
There's an interesting detail within the hallucination sequence as well.
"This is your life." The fact that the fire in this sequence starts right at Blitz's hand is really telling. It tells us that Blitz still blames himself for accidentally causing the fire. Blitz blames himself for the fire that severely hurt Fizzarolli, and the fire that killed Tilla. Blitz feels like he hurt Fizzarolli and killed Tilla, his own mother.
Look at Blitz's hand during this memory, you can very clearly see that it's quite badly burned, including some that haven't even fully scarred properly yet, placing this memory very shortly after the fire happened. During this scene, Cash hits Blitz, and it's very clearly a memory that still deeply affects Blitz, a memory that most likely reinforced Blitz's own self hatred, because he's blaming himself for Tilla's death and Fizzarolli's injuries at this point, and his dad is just rubbing that in a lot by getting extremely pissed off with Blitz and hitting him because of the circus fire.
Plus, just look at Blitz's reaction to this memory, look at Blitz flinch, look at Blitz starting to struggle against the chains the moment this memory comes up. Blitz's reaction to this just proves how deeply it affects him to this day, and also proves that Cash hitting Blitz added to Blitz's self-hatred over the circus fire. Also, just how many times did Cash physically abuse Blitz like this over the course of his life so far?
Finally, we have the memory of Cash keeping Blitz from seeing Fizzarolli at the hospital. "But they told me you didn't want to see me.", Cash lied to Blitz and most likely the hospital staff as well considering the 'they' used, saying that Fizzarolli didn't want to see Blitz again, having strong implications to Blitz that Fizzarolli hated him. He also lied to Fizzarolli and said that Blitz never even visited him in the hospital. Further adding to Blitz's self hatred over the circus fire.
Section 2: Everything that has reinforced Blitz's self hatred, and is important on Blitz's self-forgiveness journey.
Let's start with Loona, we see her two times during the memories sequence.
The first having this exchange of dialogue.
Blitzo: Because, I adopted you! And that should mean something!
Loona: Oh, what does it matter?! You're not my real dad! I was almost eighteen!
Blitzo: It still counts!
Loona: Well, it shouldn't! I didn't need you then, asshole! I don't, now!
Notice the word 'need.', it's something that Blitz has internalized by now, Blitz thinks that if the people in his life don't 'need' him, they'll just leave him. Another thing that this shows is that Blitz is worried about if Loona hates him.
And it's very clear that Blitz is still effected by this exchange in s1 e3, even quite a while later. In s2 e2, we see Loona kick Blitz right in the balls, and just look at Loona's face in this scene, what Blitz sees here is his fear that Loona hates him, which is why it's in the memory sequence, and there's also these pieces of dialogue to consider.
Loona: If I'm so terrible, how about you just grow a pair and replace me?
Blitzo: Okay, well, maybe I- Maybe I might.
Blitzo: Oh, Loona, my sweet baby girl! I'm so sorry, I'll never replace you no matter what you--
Blitz is still concerned that Loona hasn't forgiven him/hates him for saying that he might replace her, hence why he instantly says he'll never replace her the moment Blitz sees her again, and that face and kick in the balls definitely fed into Blitz's fear that Loona hates Blitz.
And this fear that Blitz has about people who he cares about hating him seems to be something that applies to a lot of different people.
We see this fear in Fizzarolli, because this is one of the memories that comes up in that sequence. The malice-filled stare Fizzarolli gave Blitz during Ozzie's, and we all know Cash was the reason why Fizzarolli hated Blitz for so long, because he lied to Fizzarolli and said he started the fire on purpose, and said that he never visited him once. Alongside other things like Cash making Fizzarolli the golden child. So even all those years later, Cash is still contributing to Blitz's fear of the people he cares about hating him.
Don't be mistaken as well, just because they made up in s2 e6 doesn't make this fear of Blitz's go away, doesn't make the pain of the malice-filled stare go away, which this memory being brought up proves.
And, as I've said before, Blitz still blames himself for accidentally causing the fire that severely hurt him, also adding to the fear and self-hatred.
Barbie Wire, we can see this fear play out with her as well.
"I never wanna see you ever!"
Looking at both Blitz's face at the time and the fact that this scene made it into the memories sequence, it just shows us that Blitz has this fear for Barbie Wire as well, just like how he had it for Fizzarolli. The fact that Barbie Wire doesn't even want to see Blitz again just confirms that fear he has, that Barbie Wire hates him, and the memory of it also confirms just how deeply her saying that effected Blitz.
"Are you worried I may have enough of it one day as well?"
Truth Seekers, the fact that this is Blitz's subconscious telling him this is proof of the fact he has this fear that Moxxie will get tired of Blitz's behavior, that Moxxie will hate him and just, leave.
And the sequence with all the dead Millies and her appearance in the memories sequence also confirms that Blitz has this fear when it comes to Millie as well. Plus, the sequence with the dead Millies also tells us quite a few things, but I think the main ones are the insecurities Blitz has that he 'keeps fucking people's lives up' and 'leaving them worse and more broken than he found them', which both add to the fear that the people in Blitz's life who he cares for hates him.
The last person, Stolas.
There's three memories in ghostfuckers of him I'd like to bring up here.
The first being the All 2 U song memory, just look at how angry Stolas looks to Blitz in this specific memory, while singing lines like "'Cause I don't think it meant a thing at all!"
This one, Stolas was literally just crying a moment ago with all the makeup streaming down his face, but Blitz doesn't seem to remember that fact, instead, he's more focused on what Stolas said, more specifically, "You! Why are you here? I don't want you here, go home, please! Let me not feel so sad!"
And the final one, Stolas and the BTB guy. It's not jealousy, it's god damn heartbreak, especially considering the 'I mean you're a fucking prince. How could you ever actually care for an imp... Me? How could anybody?' Which shows us that Blitz thinks Stolas deserves a better partner, and then a guy literally with a shirt named 'Better than Blitzo' came in, with them dancing and enjoying each other, something that Blitz most likely wished he could do.
Plus, it had been around 24 hours since Stolas' confession to Blitz, and to Blitz, Stolas is already with someone else, someone 'better' than him. With the moment of the BTB guy kissing Stolas being all the confirmation Blitz needed, that he'll never be enough for Stolas, that Stolas has found someone better than him. That he's unlovable.
With all these three memories just massively contributing to Blitz's fear that Stolas hates him, and his self-hatred in general.
(Obviously Stolas doesn't hate Blitz, and that the BTB dude is a one night stand at most, but I'm speaking like how Blitz sees things rn)
Something else that's also relevant is this memory of Verosika, and the reason why this is specifically in the reel is because this was the moment that Verosika said "A reckless, heartbreaking freak!", all while Stolas was watching, which is something Blitz very clearly noted in his memories of the event, showing how much this effected him as well.
And to show that even more, this is the exact point that gets Blitz's tears flowing.
Another thing I want to quickly mention is that Blitz struggles to understand concepts and such of love, outside of a transactional context. Like, correct me if I'm overthinking this, but the 'unconditional support' card is yet another example of Blitz doing this kind of stuff. Everytime they give Blitz 'unconditional support', Blitz punches a hole in the card, with the one at the end being that Blitz has to leave M&M alone for one date, like, my babygirl, that isn't unconditional.
I also suspect that this has roots with Cash as well, considering that Cash was 100% the type of person to only see their value as 'how much money they can make him', and that the less they make for him, the less that Cash will 'love' them, something that is extremely clear in the difference that Cash treated Blitz and Fizzarolli on multiple occurrences. Like, here for example. Plus, there's also the fact that Blitz was bought by Paimon to be friends with Stolas as a kid.
And well, I think we all know what the biggest example of this kind of relationship has been throughout the show, it being something that only ended a few episodes ago.
Of course, I have to mention "I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but… also crave it as well.", which is something that is extremely intertwined with this subject, and the best example of this is probably s2 e8.
Something else in the memories sequence that this line from truth seekers also heavily applies to are these memories.
It shows us very clearly that Blitz is rather envious of the relationship that Moxxie and Millie have, because Blitz craves proper intimacy, so what Blitz sees is something he wants, but something he feels like he can't obtain.
Finally, the last subject I'd like to talk about is the fact that Blitz, hasn't really been able to see much of the good things he's done for the people he cares about or that he straight up doesn't know, by just being himself.
Blitz saved Moxxie from a life with Crimson and also busted him out of prison, Blitz gave Millie a life, a husband, and a purpose, Blitz gave Loona a home and a loving father, right before she was about to get kicked out the system, and Blitz gave Stolas the courage to stand up to his abuser, to allow him to choose for himself and get that divorce.
But, the sad part is that Blitz doesn't really see much of that.
Section 3: The progress Blitz has made on self-forgiveness journey so far.
S2 E6, the fact that Blitz and Fizzarolli was able to make up after so long removed a huge roadblock in the way of Blitz's self-forgiveness journey. The fact that Fizzarolli no longer hates Blitz. While there are still memories about Fizzarolli that still haunt Blitz, as I've shown in this post, this is still a huge step forward for Blitz being able to repair his relationships.
tbh, thinking about it, the memories sequence, and the other bits worked quite similarly to how exposure therapy works, which I believe has proven benefits for mental health. I know it wasn't therapy in the slightest, but I still believe that in the long-run, that memory sequence was important for Blitz to witness, as it tells us a lot about Blitz's self-hatred, something that is extremely important.
The first real heart-to-heart Blitz and Millie conversation, a lot gets brought up here, just exactly how Blitz has improved Millie's life for the better, confirmation to Blitz that Millie never hated Blitz and the fact that they're best friends. Of course, there's also Millie's apology to Blitz, with this conversation being something that Blitz desperately needed to hear, and I really hope everyone else eventually tells Blitz just how much he's changed their lives for the better.
And the second conversation between the two, the first thing that Blitz mentions is Millie's best friend comment, and that is huge for Blitz, because it signals the start of Blitz learning that people in his life can care for Blitz unconditionally. That Blitz can just have friends in his life, as the line "I- I've never had a real friend that I didn't want to fuck."
(hit the image limit, so time for timestamps!) Timestamp 24:31
(Timestamp, 24:45) "The bird got to you that bad, huh?", it just means so much to me that Blitz has finally admitted the fact that Blitz has feelings for Stolas, because it shows that Blitz is slowly, but surely starting to open up, and this is gonna be a huge thing for Blitz's relationships, including when Stolitz finally gets back together.
More Posts from Impossiblesublimelight and Others
I think a bunch of us have already posted/fawned over how smooth/nice Stolas' laugh was in this moment (jfc Bryce Pinkham your VA work never misses). And how significant it is that Blitzø can get a laugh out of him even when he's having literally one of the worst days of his life and feeling serious grief.
But I've been mulling over how good that laugh must've felt to Blitzø.
IIRC, he hasn't made Stolas laugh since Seeing Stars. It's been at least 4-5 months, probably more like 6+.
And of course we know that, when Blitzø was in denial about Stolas' feelings, one of the things that hurt the most was the thought that Stolas laughing at his jokes was fake. We know he has lifelong insecurities about how his humor is perceived, stemming from Fizz always being more liked and charismatic.
This is the first time Blitzø has made Stolas laugh, not since the not-a-breakup, but since very, very soon after Ozzie's.
It's the first time he's made Stolas laugh knowing it was real and letting himself feel that it was real.
Even if Stolas is feeling like shit and the happiness is just for a moment, it's there and it's genuine. The real, walls-down Blitzø is who he's connecting with. Blitzø knows he can and does make Stolas happier just by being himself.
And oh lordy does it make him so relieved and happy, too.
Look at that face. Man down! He's smitten all over again. His heart's going to vacate his chest and ascend straight out of Hell.
There's been discussion on how/why Blitzø fell for Stolas, and here we're seeing evidence. He fell for the tall, pretty bird who has a really nice laugh, who exchanges banter easily with him, who goes along with his offbeat ideas like dancing on the balcony, who understands that being compared to a tall-tall horse is a compliment... the one who thinks he's funny even when no one else in Hell does. Blitzø would fight 1,000 Andrealphuses and all of Hell for that laugh.
Why must my favorite HB YouTuber post a video talking about the Stolas, Blitz, and Vassago love triangle headcanon, I can seemingly never escape.
Please don't act like it's a good idea, especially after the events of Mastermind and Sinsmas. IT'S NOT.
"Oh Blitz and Stolas can have a bit of a breakup, and explore other people."
THEY HAD A BREAK-UP!
"Oh they can spend some time apart during their breakup to see if they still want the other."
OH YES, LETS MAKE THIS FUCKING DUET ABSOLUTELY MEANINGLESS.
"Maybe they can explore other people."
STOLAS DID EXPLORE OTHER PEOPLE, AND THE MEMORY WAS SO FUCKING TRAUMATIC FOR BLITZ THAT IT'S IN THIS FUCKING MEMORY REEL.
Blitz is not strong enough for a love triangle! This man is a fucking bitch baby, he can't HANDLE IT!
Also...
Blitz has ZERO intentions of exploring other people when THIS IS HIS DREAM.
I... PLEASE STOP WITH THIS HEADCANON I FUCKING CAN'T.
Why can't Vassago just be a friend to Stolas, please? FFS Stolas has no friends! The closest he has to a friend is Blitz, but they might as well be fucking married by now at this point, since they live and work together.
If You Act Like You Don't Need Support, People Believe You: Blitz's "Bulletproof" Act
We know pretty well by now how Blitz's outer shell looks and why he built it. He's carrying a whole cargo load of trauma, and he doesn't want to get hurt anymore. So he puts his natural resilience and charisma front and center and channels all negative emotions into being an asshole. No one gets in.
I think we often fall into seeing Blitz's mask as all negative. But one thing I took away from Ghostfuckers though is how much the people in his life actually find security and comfort in that same shell.
Millie:
Based on her backstory, who can blame her? The final sign that made Millie trust/respect Blitz enough to agree to his job offer?
I can blame this partly on imp culture (valuing toughness), but also, Millie says "you're fucking weird," and I think that comes down to how Blitz doesn't look angry or scared even for a moment. He keeps the smile. The charm. "Unbothered."
When M&M give each other most of their attention (understandable), Blitz just pushes his way past their boundaries anyway, seeming to make a game out of it. We see in Ghostfuckers that his jealousy of M&M, his fear that they don't really care for him . . . that becomes part of his trauma reel. But his friends have no way of knowing that.
When he's on a solo mission in Wee-a-boo-boo, Blitz tells Millie in no uncertain terms that he's got this.
So yeah, Millie's truly never seen him SERIOUSLY upset before, even if WE'VE seen him screaming into the abyss (Truth Seekers) and crying himself to sleep (Ozzie's).
Luckily, Millie has the capacity to adjust and offer the support that Blitz needs.
Loona:
I think Loona gets comfort too from Blitz's outer shell. This time, it's not so much that Blitz never shows her that his feelings are hurt. But that he bounces back quickly. That he always ends up fine.
And at an even farther extreme, Loona can literally throw Blitz across the room and have him doting on her again later that day.
There's comfort, especially when you're someone with a temper, in knowing that there's someone who you can't really hurt, who will stick by you no matter how you behave.
But again, in the Ghostfuckers trauma reel, we get a clip that shows us that's not true either.
Like Millie, when Loona sees Blitz at a true emotional low (this time, his guard is lowered by alcohol . . . and perceived rejection from Stolas), she's able to adjust and be supportive.
Stolas:
Was fairly careless with Blitz's emotions in Season 1, until he saw some vulnerability in Ozzie's and immediately started rethinking his approach.
We often talk about Blitz not realizing that Stolas is vulnerable, but the opposite is also true.
I'm thinking about the flirtatious classism, the teasing, the initial idea that the book deal would be fun and sexy. I think it stems, at least in part, from the idea that Blitz is amazing, that his spirit is kind of unbreakable.
Which again, is not true. His optimism and resilience are wonderful, but he can be hurt (intentional reference to Blitz realizing the same about Stolas).
After the debacle that is Ozzie's, after Stolas sees Blitz in pain from the treatment he received and unable to believe that Stolas's romantic interest in him is genuine, he understands much more. He immediately starts trying to undo the deal, and later in that process, there's this beautiful line . . .
"It's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live."
Stolas isn't there yet by any stretch, in terms of understanding Blitz fully, but even while hurt, there's a part of him that wants to understand, that knows that Blitz is hurting under his mask.
Moxxie:
Ahaha. I bet you thought Stolas would be the twist ending of this meta. NOPE. It's Moxxie. He's the only person close to Blitz who hasn't even begun to adjust to seeing Blitz be vulnerable yet.
Not to psychoanalyze the poor guy, but. His daddy issues are off the fucking charts. Not in a sexual way (though who knows). In a sad way.
Moxxie was raised to follow authority, and the consequence for not doing so was death. Crimson made it very clear. And that's horrible, obviously, but also, there's a certain level of comfort in having everything decided for you.
In having someone who's "got this" in charge. Cult survivors often recall feeling this way.
And I'm not saying Moxxie wasn't incredibly relieved to be rid of Crimson or that he was happy under his control in any way.
But he likes that Blitz is confident, unbothered, and takes care of his team.
I'm done looking for exact lines and screenshots because I have a dinner to get to, but Moxxie does ask in his Truth Seekers hallucination why Blitz pushes his friends away. But he never gets a clear answer, never sees beyond the symbolic mask that Blitz wears there.
And in Unhappy Campers and in Ghostfuckers, we really see him crumble without Blitz's confident leadership. Millie, letting Moxxie take charge and having her own needs that have to be met . . . isn't really enough.
And this is a problem.
Moxx needs to learn some confidence because the unshakeable Blitz he follows . . . doesn't really exist. So I'm interested in seeing how this develops in upcoming seasons.
Octavia joining the family
foreshadowing and shit 🙂
Blitz answer her dad call
His phone number is saved as dad (with a few *s)
Alo can't tell me Via long winded dunk on Blitz; isn't a little similar to his on Stolas in the pilot
Blitz says let's go find our daughters, refering to Loona and Via.
(Yes I know English is a silly imprecise language, but I'm counting it).
And this moment had a big effect on Stolas
They have the same taste in music 🎶
Blitz uses the same pet name for Octavia, as he does for Loona
They have the same reaction to Stolas being overly PDA
They both Hate Fizzbot
And both think Stolas' damsel in distress act is bit much
They have a very similar sarcastic snarky wit
(She was having so much fun making Loo loo sweat)
And Stolas treats them in a similar way when they snark
He fires back with a minor piss take of his own. (Think one of the reasons Stolas wasn't as put of by Blitz's walls early on is because of understanding Via).
You can see how well this plays together when they back eachother up taking this mick out of Andy
Blaming @quillyfied for this one but she's in front of both of them saying this.
I need to give some love to Loona in this episode. Specifically how she did not object to Stolas coming home with them.
Because she’s been in the exact same situation. Left alone, nowhere to go…
And then Blitz saved her.
So she paid that same kindness forward to Stolas.
By not asking any questions.
Just doing what she can to help.
Giving him a similar (edit oops) sweater she was wearing at the orphanage when she met Blitz.
Because she knows that no one, no matter who or what they are, should be alone.
Sigh
Hi I’m back to explain media to the antis
Stolas is grateful for everything Blitz is doing for him but because that’s not blatantly expressed people are whining that Stolas is being ungrateful and mean
Maybe yall just haven’t experienced hard things like for example when my parents died I didn’t exactly thank my husband outwardly for all he was doing for me I was a lot like Stolas, numb and upset and just in autopilot. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t grateful for him being there and helping me.
Blitz isn’t doing it to be thanked, he’s doing it because he loves Stolas and wants to take care of him. Stolas doesn’t need to gush in gratitude, it’s understood.
It’s implied.
It’s what happens when you love each other.
Season 3 prediction: Andrealphus and Stella will try to set Octavia up in an arranged marriage.
And it will either result in her being put in a position where she is powerless/unable to take her place as Stolas’ heir, or she will renounce her position as heir altogether to avoid said marriage.
As we know, Andrealphus’ claim to Stolas’ position is on a time limit. Not only does Stolas get his power and position back in 100 years (a mere blink of an eye to immortals), but Octavia’s impending 18th birthday seems to also be a point of contention. Especially if Andrealphus wants to keep his position of power.
As things stand now, Stella and Andrealphus really have nothing to fear of Octavia coming of age and inheriting her father’s position. After the events of “Sinsmas”, there’s no way she’d kick her mother and uncle out after her confrontation with Stolas. Octavia will want stability more than anything after that, and she’ll cling to Stella and Andrealphus in desperation for even a chance at that stability/normalcy.
Which makes her the perfect target for Andrealphus and his scheming. There’s no way he’s going to hand over his new position of power willingly, especially not after all the work he put into getting it in the first place. So, what better way to get Octavia out of the way than to make her marry into another Goetia family altogether?
Without Stolas there to prevent it, Stella would happily jump at the chance to further their family’s standing by marrying her daughter off.
Not only would this be the perfect way to reveal to Octavia her parents’ arranged marriage, but it’d also give Stella a good excuse to reveal to her daughter (and us) her own backstory/experiences with the Goetia.
Just as promised for season 3.
What is with this family and the full moon?
Ever since season 2 concluded back in December, I’ve been rethinking Brandon Roger’s slip of the tongue about how Blitzø “ran” I.M.P. instead of “runs”. A lot of us were convinced that Mastermind was going to have Blitzø’s business being destroyed along with the building it was being run in. But then Sinsmas aired, and I.M.P. is still going strong.
But then that begs the question, was that earlier statement by Brandon just a slip of the tongue? Or were we given a hint to a future conflict/conclusion that takes place in a later season?
Personally, I think there’s still a chance that Blitzø is going to lose I.M.P. And my obsession with finding lore/future hints in Vivzie’s official merchandise turned a simple passing thought into a freakin full blown obsession that just won’t leave me alone. So of course I’m going to share the insanity.
This Halloween T-shirt’s art is what started it all.
Blitzø is dressed up as an angel, something that anyone from hell would consider as terrifying or monstrous. Perfectly in theme with Halloween while also being ironically hilarious to the audience.
But what if it’s more than that? What if it’s a possible hint about how Helluva Boss will end? What if Blitzø doesn’t lose I.M.P. or willingly retire and pass it on?
Helluva Boss could just as easily end with Blitzø’s death. But that doesn’t mean it’s actually “THE END” the end for Blitzø’s or even Helluva Boss’ story. Because Blitzø could be reincarnated as an angel, just like he’s dressed up as in the Halloween art.
After all, Vivzie is also famous for another show based in hell that focuses on redeeming those condemned to live in hell. And one of those sinners was even redeemed and made it into heaven after sacrificing himself for his loved ones.
This sounds exactly like something Blitzø would do. In fact, he’s already tried to sacrifice himself for his family once already, and I highly doubt he won’t do it again. Especially with Stolas in the picture being as apathetic of his own life as he is.
Now, we know little to nothing about how death affects hellborns, or if they even have souls that can die like a human’s from earth. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be a possibility! After all, ghosts might not exist in the Helluva Boss universe. But reincarnation hasn’t been taken off the table yet! And it would really add an interesting twist in the lore of the Helluva/Hazbin universe. Which would then be the perfect excuse to bring some Helluva Boss characters over into Hazbin Hotel.
Oh, and then there’s the full moon/heaven imagery to consider.
Heaven is the freaking moon in Helluva Boss! And Stolas has already visualized Blitzø as being unreachable in the glow of said moon…
So, maybe there is merit to the idea that Blitzø can be reincarnated into heaven. Thoughts?
Oh dang! I’m not the only one that thinks Octavia might be forced into an arranged marriage in season 3. I’m not sure if I’m terrified or gratified. Just depends on who ends up being the one that tries to set her up with someone in the end.
Though I do like Cartoon Universe’s take on it too
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My attention span is sporadic at the best of times or downright obsessive the rest of it. There is no in between. Once the obsession hits, there’s nothing else I’m gonna be talking, reading or writing about. So enjoy it while it lasts, cuz the obsession changes randomly. And regularly.
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