⟶ Satoru Is A Stinking Glasses Thief

reblog to add +10 haunting power to your ghost when you die

⟶ let you break my heart again

cw:: i have never written angst like this before. gn!reader, reader is MEAN in this one, reader implied to be an english speaker, reader gets drunk? satoru + reader met at jujutsu high

Satoru Gojo is not a coffee drinker.

It’s bitter, it's either scalding hot or biting cold, and in your words, “it tastes like dirt.”

He remembers the way he laughed in agreement last year when you muttered that under your breath, consequence of sneaking a sip of Nanami’s coffee. He remembers looking at you, his cheeks flushed and his words all airy. And he can't scrub from his mind the way you didn't spare him a glance.

Satoru Gojo hates coffee. But after a long night of entertaining a drunken you, he needs something to propel him through the day. And cocaine is illegal.

His eyes follow you around the staff room. Rubbing your temples and groaning, snapping at anyone who dares to speak.

“Someone’s hungover,” he smirks.

“Shut up,” you hiss. “Your voice is so grating.”

He shuts up, and pretends you didn't say that. He shuts up and pretends you don't always say that. He shuts up and pretends he doesn't spend night after night picking you up from a bar, completely wasted, or dropping you off to a date, or picking you up from some fling’s apartment at 7am.

On days when the staff room is silent, he allows himself a fleeting moment to close his eyes and picture you. He dreams of the thirteen-year long softness with which he can't help but afford you, and he lets himself fantasise that once, just once, you'll turn around and return his lovesick smile.

But on days like this, he presses his lips together in a fine line and ignores the sympathetic glance Shoko spares him.

He wonders what it is about him that is so unappealing. Nursing a whiskey at some dive bar, he slurs out his troubles to a sympathetic barkeep.

“Girls like me. I get asked out all the time. But she doesn't want me, and I don’t know why!” He wants to scream, or cry, or laugh, but he's not sure which and he slumps over the bar and barely catches his glass before it goes tumbling over. “I don't want the other fish in the fucking sea. I want her. She’s the prettiest fish.”

No one comes to pick him up.

Some days you're sweet on him. You throw him a bone. You send him songs in English that he doesn't understand, but he listens to the melody and the gibberish lyrics and he finds pieces of you in the songs.

[satoru gojo]: good song

[satoru gojo]: i like your taste in music ;)

Read, 11:06PM.

On other days you pick him up as the unforgiving sun is setting. You drive, asking him about his day, letting him ramble about his students, or vent about the higher ups, or tell you about this super funny thing Nanami did as though you weren't there.

He turns his head away from you as he finishes speaking, and he's glad he wears a blindfold as it catches his tears.

He downs the rest of his coffee, shuffling over on the couch to give you room to sit next to him.

“Thanks for picking me up last night,” you mumble, picking at your nails. You refuse to make eye contact, which is just as well because he'd hate for you to see the wide-eyed stare he's subjecting you to.

“... No problem.”

omg haiii!!!

I am over 5'5/ I wear glasses or contacts / I have blonde hair / I often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose to tight clothing /I have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or had braces / i have freckles / I paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don't often smile / Resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / I know more than one language / I can cook or bake / I like writing / I like to read / i can multitask / I've never dated anyone / I have a best friend I've known for over 5 years / i am an only child

ok tagss ermmm @bluukive @your-sleeparalysisdem0n

@mypoptartburnt @loveyislost @selfish-machinesz

tag game 🤭

rules: color the sentence that's true about you

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

this is a whole lot of yellow lmfao

no pressure tags: @marthawrites @schniiipsel @aemonddtargaryen @aemondsbabe @adragonprinceswhore @arcielee @black-dread @lovelykhaleesiii @aemondsbabygirl @valeskafics @connorsui

he's so cute i think this calls for a new tag

choso is so expressive with his hands

my super duper awesomepilled college au

ପ(੭ ´ᵕ`)੭°• જ⁀➴

satoru x baker!reader

ʚɞ (1) (2)

suguru x ex!reader

ʚɞ (1)

takuma x childhood bsf!reader

ʚɞ (1)

is there plans for any Ino content? >^v^>

id love to write for him but i love him so much idk if i cud do him justice .. but ill give it a go just for u ..

⟶ "i'm so hungry i could eat ___" trend with satoru

⟶ who wants to send me requests ("meeee! ☝️" you all say in unison)

cw:: crack, not proofread, i wrote this in 10 minutes half an hour before my shift, then finished in the 5 minutes before i go to bed, reader wears glasses, gn!reader, astoundingly short seriously its 348 words

You stretch out, reaching your arms above your head and arching your back slightly. You groan in relief, before settling your head back into Satoru’s lap.

All your students are out on missions, but the intimidating stack of paperwork on almost every surface of your office meant you couldn't take the day off. And although he whined and moaned seeing you get dressed for work, your fiancé still dragged himself to Jujutsu Tech with you. Someday you'll have to address his attachment issues, but not today.

“I’m starving,” you mumble. You'd taken a much-needed break from filing papers and reports to lay in Satoru’s lap, but before long, another need popped up.

“Yeah? What d’you wanna eat, cutie?” Satoru grins, booping your nose, before sliding your glasses slightly further up your nose.

“Mmm… I dunno,” you groan. “I'm so hungry, I could eat Yaga-sensei.”

…

Satoru pauses, his hand hovering above your face. “Huh?”

You're fighting back a grin at the confusion on his pretty features. “I said, 'I'm so hungry, I could eat Yaga-sensei.’”

“Ugh,” Satoru groans. “What does that mean?”

You feign confusion at the way he grimaces, blinking up at him. “What? It's like… a thing people say.”

“Do you wanna have sex with Yaga?”

That got you. You burst out laughing, slapping his side as you cackle. “What the hell?”

He blinks at you, before a splitting grin breaks out on his face, and he playfully shoves your shoulder. “Oh my god, what's wrong with you? 'I could eat Yaga-sensei’? Seriously?”

“Haven't you seen the trend?” You're pulling out your phone, struggling to type on Tiktok, your giggling causing your thumbs to shake. But you manage, and you're shoving the first video you see in his face.

He blinks owlishly at the video, before giggling along with you. “That's so stupid.”

“It's funny!” you argue. “But I am actually hungry.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He's gathering you into his arms, standing up with you in a bridal carry. (“I'm practicing,” is what he'd say if you asked.) “Let's get you some real food. Before you fuck our boss.”

can i be in ur taglist !! ✌︎('ω')✌︎

yes and also i love u ໒꒰ྀི˶˃ᆺ˂˶ ꒱ྀིა

The TikTok-fication of Tumblr and why it needs to stop before your fave writers are gone for good:

1. “Part 2??”

Unlike TikTok, writing 5,000 words for a fic does not happen in 6 seconds or more. Weekly updates are from a writer who spoils you and is passionate about their story. Don’t kill the passion by demanding for more and not appreciate what’s already given.

2. The DC Conundrum

Many writers on this platform hail back from the ff.net days where dark content is a norm, not like TikTok where even death has to be censored or you could get flagged.

Despite that, writers are doing you a service by sharing fic warnings despite how it may take away from a plot twist or a big reveal. However, there’s a fine line between sharing warnings and downright spoiling our own work. Heed the warnings, don’t be a dick. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Learn how to filter your own content, too, while you're at it.

3. The Wild Algorithm

Unlike TikTok, Tumblr’s FYP is not in your face and you have a choice to not view it. Content often gets buried a few days after it’s posted without reblogs or comments to keep it alive.

4. Passive Content Consumption

Ties back with point #1. If you’re only sitting back and reading works without supporting the writers, they can’t spend 6 seconds to conjure up a fic. Writing takes time, editing, proofreading. Tumblr is a book club, not a delivery service.

5. De(constructive) Criticism

If an opinion isn’t asked for, don’t give it. Many writers choose this craft for their own enjoyment and to share a thought or story about a beloved character to those who love them, too. If an opinion is asked? Be kind when you share it across to them. No one likes their hard work to be shat on by someone who doesn’t understand the time and effort it took to create this piece.

6. Are You My Content Machine?

Again, back to point #1. Writers have busy lives. There are days when we want to scream into the void about our favourite characters. We want to share our thoughts about them or sometimes, we just want to talk about what happened during lunch break. Demanding and expecting that a writer post content without giving a shit about the soul behind the screen? Dehumanizing.

Don’t ruin the experience for those of us who are still here. Do your part to make fandom better for everyone.

is this not gojo