Well, This Is Going To Be My Entire Personality For The Rest Of The Week.

I dream about Jareth, sometimes. I always wake up aching for that world and this man.

Labyrinth - 1986

I’m hooked on this series. So ready for the next piece!

Look for the Light - 6

Masterlist

Summary: Four years ago, Joel saved you from certain death. In return, you followed him faithfully. Always ready to do and give him whatever he asked, despite the hurt it inflicted on you, body and soul. Agreeing to go with him to deliver Ellie to the Fireflies… this would be the last time you’d follow him… After this, your debt would be paid.

Relationships: Reader x Joel Miller, Joel Miller & Ellie, Reader & Ellie

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (I know this took a while and I'm sorry for that. I have somewhat strayed from the main storyline now but you will see why soon ♥️)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

You were frantic as you desperately tried to keep Joel's blood inside him. His blood-curdling scream as you pressed the bloody rag in your hands onto his stomach had you sobbing.

"Stay with me, Joel." You choked as you glanced at the man.

His head pressed back onto the towel under it, the veins in his neck prominent and his skin three shades whiter than usual. Ellie sat in the corner, anxiously chewing her thumbnail as she watched you work on Joel. Her eyes filled with tears as the man cried out with each poke and prod.

Joel looked up at you, his bottom lip quivering as he weakly watched you panic. His heart ached to tell you that it was going to be okay but he knew it wouldn't. He was losing blood quickly and was almost certainly going into shock. If that didn't kill him, the infection from his wound would. His time was up and he knew it.

"Leave." Joel choked, tears welling in his eyes as he watched you continue to try and save him "Leave." He repeated a little more forcefully and you scoffed.

"Shut up, Joel."

"Take the gun."

"Joel shut the fսck up!" Ellie growled and she crawled to his side and took his hand in hers. "You go." He said with a little more force, shoving Ellie back before trying to do the same to you "You go. You go north. You go to Tommy." He forced out, his breath coming in short pants and had him feeling dizzy "You go." He said one more time, eyes watching as Ellie got up and stormed up the stairs in a fit of rage.

"We're not leaving you here to die Joel." You growled, ignoring Ellie's outburst "Don't be stupid."

"Please." He all but whispered to you "Please get her to safety."

"Joel-"

"This is the last thing I will ask of you." He interrupted, tears falling freely now "I'm as good as dead baby." He choked, the term of endearment making your heart skip "Please, just take her back to Tommy. She'll be safe with him."

"Joel." You sobbed, taking his hand and squeezing it.

Suddenly everything that had happened in the last few months. All the guilt you felt for the animosity and anger you directed towards the man for the past three or so months suddenly consumed you. You realised you still loved him. That was painfully clear now as you held his bloody hand in your own.

"Please darlin'." He pleaded again "I've made so many mistakes... with you, Tommy and especially with Ellie but I need to die knowing she's safe."

"You're not going to die Joel." You growled, unable to admit that he was indeed dying.

Your mind wandered to the conversation you'd shared with him when you'd left Jackson. How bitter you had been towards him for his choice to leave her with Tommy in the first place. You'd known that he was just trying to do the right thing but you were so angry that you'd chosen not to acknowledge that.

Now he could die thinking you blamed him.

You woke early and sat with Ellie as she waited for Tommy to turn up. Joel had been gone by the time you'd woken up that morning and you'd found yourself feeling even more angry about that fact. The man was a coward if he had just run out on you both rather than at least say goodbye.

When Tommy stepped into the room Ellie had called hers for the night, you both stood and walked out, not a word being shared between the three of you as you made your way to the stables. When you walked into the dimly lit structure, your feet stopped dead in their tracks as you came across Joel, saddling a horse with days worth of supplies. When his gaze drifted up to look at the three of you, you could see the conflicted look in his eyes and your shoulders dropped. He was a complicated man and you knew that.

"You came here to say goodbye or something?" Ellie growled as she glared at the man, eliciting a snort from you.

"No. I came here to steal one of these horses and go." Joel confessed, glancing at you and Ellie before settling on Tommy.

"I woulda gave you one." Tommy piped up.

"I know." Joel sniffed "Anyway... that was 30 minutes ago, and I guess..." he trailed off, looking at Ellie and taking a few ginger steps towards her "You deserve a choice. I still think you'd be better off with Tommy..."

"Let's go." She interrupted, shoving her bag in his arms unceremoniously before walking up to the horse.

"Okay."

"Let's get your horse saddled up." Tommy directed at you and you gave him a small nod before waiting for him to lead the way.

Stepping off you were stopped by a hand on your arm and you didn't have to look up to know who it was. You let out a steadying breath as you waited for him to speak, anger simmering beneath the surface.

"Can we talk?" He asked and you groaned.

"I need to get my horse ready."

"It will just be a moment." He pushed, his tone pleading and you sighed, giving him a slight nod. He led you outside and around the side of the stable, his hand finally letting go of your arm as he shoved them both into his pockets.

A tense silence settled over you both for a moment which only made you more impatient for him to spit out whatever he had to say to you. So when you'd finally had enough of the awkward silence and nervous glances you forced it out of him.

"Whatever you want to say to me Joel, spit it out."

"I want you to stay here." He stated, his hands leaving his pockets and falling to his sides.

"What?"

"I think you should stay here." He repeated "Ellie and I can head to the Fireflies alone from here. You've done your part."

"Excuse me?"

"Please don't do this..."

"Do what?" You growled "I didn't stay with you both for my own amusement. I didn't go through hell just for you to dump me because you can't handle being around me anymore."

"That's not..."

"It's obvious that you've wanted rid of me since I lost the baby." You growled "I have stuck with you through everything. If I hadn't followed you so blindly I would still be pregnant but because of some false sense of loyalty to you, I did. I followed you into hell and I lost my..."

"You blame me for the miscarriage?" He choked and you scoffed.

"Yes." You replied plainly, your expression stony "Yes I do." You finished before leaving him standing out in the snow.

He watched you leave. His ears started to ring and he knew what was about to happen. These attacks had started to increase in frequency since leaving that old couple's shack a few days ago. His heart felt sluggish and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't catch his breath.

The longer he struggled, the more he panicked.

How was he supposed to protect you and Ellie if one conversation sent him spiralling? The idea of losing you, because he wasn't strong enough to keep you safe, had his knees starting to give out beneath him. His brothers calling him pulled him from his panic attack.

"You alright brother?" Tommy asked, his brows pulled together as he watched his older brother straighten his spine and look up at you, Ellie and Tommy.

"Yeah." He replied, giving you all a nod before walking over to his horse. He spared you a brief, wounded look and you couldn't help the brief pang of guilt that washed over you.

You hadn't really meant what you had said to him. You didn't blame him for the baby.

Your tears flowed freely then as you returned to the present moment. Joel was watching you through hooded eyes, his fight to stay conscious getting the better of him. You looked down at him, eyes locking in an intense gaze and at that moment what you did next was the only thing that made sense. You kissed him.

"I don't blame you." You sobbed as you pulled away from him "I need you to know that."

"I know." He choked, nodding weakly but you shook your head.

"No, I don't think you do." You wept "I know you've been hurting too and I shouldn't have treated you the way I have."

"Baby-"

"I need to say this Joel." You interrupted "I love you. I have for a long time and I need you to know that."

Joel was rendered speechless.

He lay there, whole body shaking as his silent tears leaked from the corner of his eyes. A small, almost invisible, smile tugged at his lips as he looked up at you.

"I love you too."

You leaned down and kissed him again. Your tears mixed with his own as you rested your forehead on his. Ellie's abrupt entrance into the basement had you leaping back like you were a teenager getting caught doing something you shouldn't.

"I found this." Ellie announced as she showed you a needle and thread.

Dropping to Joel's side she handed you what she'd found before looking at him and taking his hand again. This time though he didn't push her away. They shared a silent conversation as he squeezed her hand and gave her a weak smile.

"Hold him down." You instructed as you pinched wiped his wound as clean as you could make it and pinched the torn flesh between your fingers.

Joel didn't scream when the blunt needle pierced his flesh. Instead, he gripped Ellie's hand tighter and arches his back as he tried to internalise the pain.

"Breathe Joel." Ellie urged as she stroked his hair in an attempt to calm him "It'll be over before you know it."

Breathing meant Joel couldn't keep it in anymore. He yelled and cried as you sew him up with as much care and speed as you could muster. Then, just as you were about to finish up he went limp.

"Joel?" Ellie called out as she cupped his face "Joel, open your eyes."

She was frantic which only made you panic more. Finishing up you quickly reached up with a shaky hand and placed two fingers on his neck, breathing a sigh of relief when you found a weak pulse.

Ellie looked at you with tearful eyes and you gave her a weak smile "He's alive." You stated as you wiped your brow with your sleeve "Just passed out."

"He going to be okay?" She asked and you shook your head as you pulled down his undershirt down over the new rag you'd placed to soak up and other blood.

"I don't know." You answered honestly "I've closed the wound up the best I can but we need antibiotics. Without them, he'll likely get an infection. That needle wasn't clean and no doubt, neither was the bat that did this."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that really we need to get him back to Jackson asap or he's going to die." You stated plainly.

...

Joel shivered on the filthy mattress he was laid out on. Since losing consciousness, he had not regained it. You and Ellie took it in turns to watch over him. Dabbing his brow with a snow-soaked rag and whispering words of comfort to him as he twitched and whimpered in his sleep.

Glancing to your left, you noted that Ellie had managed to get to sleep. The teenager had been worrying and fretting over every little sound that left Joel for the last 12 hours. She would shut her eyes, only to wake as soon as the smallest sound slipped from his lips. Joel's delirious mumbling pulled her gaze back to him. His teeth were chattering so much you were worried his teeth would shatter. Placing a hand on his brow, you winced at the heat that radiated from his flesh. You pulled his thick jacket off of him, knowing he needed fewer layers right now. You had noticed a rolled-up picnic blanket when you had gone in search of more towels so got up as quietly as you could and scaled the basement to grab it, placing it over his legs and up to his elbows.

"C-c-cold." Joel muttered, his teeth chattering as the shakes wracked his whole body and your heart broke as you watched him suffer. Even in his unconscious state, he was still suffering.

"I know Joel." You whispered as you lay yourself down beside him and placed your head on his chest. You could hear the weak beating of his heart and your own shattered. He was so very weak and you knew he was slipping away.

He needed medicine or he wasn't going to make it.

...

"Why won't he stop shaking?" Ellie asked as she watched you clean his wound, grimacing at the infected state it was in.

"Because his wound is infected." You stated simply "He's probably suffering from Sepsis." You stated plainly as you pulled his soiled shirt down and sat back on your legs "If it gets into his bloodstream, he'll die."

"What can we do?" She asked and you let out a long sigh.

"Honestly?" She nodded and you dropped your head to stare at your hands in your lap "He's not well enough to ride but without Antibiotics he's going to die." You stated plainly "The way I see it we have two options "We can try and get him back to Jackson and hope that he makes it the week it'll take us to get there."

"Or?"

"Or we try and see if we can find some antibiotics nearby." You finished " Looks like all the houses have been pilfered so I doubt we'll find anything."

"So we move him." Ellie stated plainly "We made it here in five days, we can get back just as quickly."

"We made it in five days because we were all fit and well." You sighed "With Joel in the condition he's in, it'll slow us down."

"What other choice do we have?" She asked and you shook your head.

"None."

Getting Joel's dead weight back onto the makeshift stretcher you and Ellie had created had been difficult. Whereas before, Joel had regained consciousness and had managed to limp into the basement. You and Ellie had had to carry his comatose form up the stairs and onto the mattress stretcher that was now strapped to the back of Ellie's horse. You had managed to pad the stretcher more, meaning that Joel would not feel the journey as badly as he had before.

Now, six days later, you could see the tall walls of Jackson come into view. You breathed a sigh of relief as you glanced down at the still-unconscious Joel. He had not woken the entire trip and his fever had reached new highs. He was stripped down to little more than this undershirt and jeans now in a desperate attempt to keep his temperature down but the longer he went without medicine, the closer he crawled to death.

"We made it Joel." Ellie called out as she nudged her horse to walk again "Just hold on old man."

You followed her lead, wishing you could move a little faster. What felt like an age later you were within shouting distance of the gates. So you and Ellie yelled at the top of your lungs for help. When you made it through the gates you were begging the guards to fetch Tommy as you dismounted and dropped to Joel's side, fussing over the unconscious man as your tears fell freely.

The sound of frantic footsteps wasn't enough to pull your attention away from your lover. Tommy's choked question was though.

"What the hell happened?" He asked as he dropped to his knees, hands waving over his brother's form as he took in how sick he looked.

"We were ambushed at the school." You answered "The fireflies were long gone but some raiders were scouting the area. He got stabbed with a broken bat."

Joel's guttural yell pulled all of you to look at him and in the blink of an eye, his whole body had gone rigid. The convulsions tore through him violently. His eyes were white slits as his back arched and his limbs flailed.

"What's wrong with him?" Ellie asked as she cried openly "Joel?"

"He's seizing." Someone knew said "The infection is getting the better of him." They stated as Joel's body started to still "We need to get him to the hospital. Without medicine, this man is hours away from succumbing to it."

Tommy said nothing, just watched numbly as his brother was loaded onto a stretcher and then lifted off the ground. You all followed wordlessly as he was carried into the building that had been repurposed as a hospital. There were beds lining each wall, curtains parting each one. One or two had occupants but mostly, the hospital was empty. The medic led you all further into the hospital and through a door and into a long, wide, hallway. Opening the second door on your left, the medic held it open so that the other could carry Joel inside.

"Lay him down on the bed." The medic ordered as he washed his hands then grabbed some gloves "I need you all to clear the room."

"But-"

"I will fetch you once he is stable." The medic interrupted and the men that had carried Joel then ushered you out of the room.

You watched through the window as his clothes were cut away, revealing the gruesome wound that was swiftly killing him. You choked on a sob as the doctor started to cut the stitches you had done over a week ago, not because of the work you had put into them but because Joel didn't even flinch.

"Come on." Tommy said softly as he lead you away from the door and towards the main hospital "Watching ain't going to do anyone any good."

"I can't lose him, Tommy... I can't-"

"You won't." He assured you as he pulled you into his arms "Joel's persistent! Gonna take a lot more than a splinter to kill him."

This made you chuckle. You pulled away and smiled up at him, allowing him then to guide you to a set of chairs in another room. Sitting you then noticed it.

The blood.

It was all over you.

Your clothes, under your nails. It was even crusted in the ends of your hair and you felt sick to the stomach. All this blood that should be inside of Joel was all over you.

"Come, let's get you back to the house where you can shower and change." Tommy said upon noticing you staring at your hands.

"But Joel-"

"Docs gonna be working on him a while." Tommy stopped you "You have time to wash and change. Someone will fetch you if anything changes."

You nodded, eyes then drifting to Ellie who was looking to you for guidance. You wish you could give it to her. Wished you could be strong for her but you couldn't. You knew Joel's chances weren't good. The infection had almost certainly reached his blood by now.

Even with medicine, it was down to him to fight this.

And you weren't sure he could.

Next

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BRB, just inserting myself into all of @cultofdixon’s fic quotes with my boyfriend Daryl.

Y/N: *gifts Daryl a rock*

Daryl: The fuck am I supposed to do with this?

Y/N: Fuck I guess nothing. Give it back if you’re gonna be that way

Daryl: NO

The End Will Justify It All - Chapter 4

A Negan Series

Chapter 3 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 1

Warnings - mention of death, mention of torture, other Walking Dead themes.

Part of me wants to apologize that these chapters are going so slowly, but I don't think I will. I do hope you're enjoying them, though! Feedback is always welcome.

She awoke the next morning, the sun higher in the sky than she’d expected, and a dread in her stomach like a rock. She fought to shake the grogginess of the two sleeping pills she’d taken last night – the first time she’d used the gift from Shery, although Sherry left a new supply in her room after every dinner with Negan. As the fog in her mind began dissipating, her memory wasted no time filling the open space with the events of the day before. She’d seen Daryl, worn down and abused, and decided to do exactly what Negan had asked of her. She wouldn’t let him be tortured more than he already had. Not because of her.

So she’d gone to dinner that night, not touching the food, and told him everything she was willing to risk. She drew the layout of Alexandria for him, noting the armory, the make-shift infirmary, and Rick’s house. She’d told him all about Rick. She told him about his love for Glenn and how hard his death would have hit Rick, about his family, the things that made him angry, the things that made him happy, but most importantly, the fears that drove him – the love for his people and the responsibility of protecting them. Negan wanted his next move, and she gave it to him. Keep driving home that he could take any of Rick’s people from him, threaten even one of them, and he’d fold like a lawn chair. She’d told him all about Carl and his recklessness. She’d even gone as far as to suggest that guns were known to be unaccounted for, from time to time.

Negan leaned back in his chair when she finished talking, nodding and staring at her, eyes narrowed as if he could see everything in her mind. “I think you’re holding out on me,” he said after studying her for a long minute. Her stomach dropped, but she gave no physical sign of nervousness. He leaned closer to her.  “Tell me,” he demanded, lifting her chin with his thumb grazing her lip. Her stomach fluttered at the touch. Nerves, she’d told herself, nothing more than fearing him.

He had guessed right. She did have another idea. She knew where it had come from, and she wasn’t proud of it. It had come to her while she soaked in her pre-dinner bath, from a part of her that had hardened and darkened after the world fell. A part of her she’d buried deep enough that she hadn’t felt its presence in months and thought she never would again. She hated it, hated the idea it had given her. She didn’t want to tell Negan. If she told him, if she put it out there, there’d be no pretending this dark part of her didn’t exist. No denying it ever again. She feared what it might unleash within her again.

“Tell me,” he said again, his voice a little softer, purring a little. She felt herself flush at the sound of it.

“Make him hold it,” she said finally. “The bat. Lu- Lucille.  Make him hold it for you the next time you visit him. For as long as you can, make him carry it around for you.”

Negan sat up straight in surprise. “That,” he said, pausing as a wicked grin crept across his face. “That is sexy. as. hell! Somehow, I knew you had that in you. Man!  have never been more turned on than I am right now.” Again she felt that flutter in her stomach, and waited for his next move.  But it never came. He’d simply poured them both a drink, laughing to himself as he did. She drained her glass quickly, and walked as fast as she could to her room when he’d dismissed her, where she took her pills and laid shaking in her bed until she was dragged into a dreamless oblivion.

She made her way down to the kitchens for some coffee and breakfast, noting the lack of guard at the wives’ dorm door. That was a first in the 4 days she’d been here.

As she made her way down, she noticed… well, she noticed that she didn’t notice anyone. It was eerily empty in the halls for this late in the morning. When she reached the ground level, she exited the building and found - where there would typically be no less than 20 saviors hanging around - there were only two guys standing guard. She walked around the building to the area where they all parked their bikes and trucks – empty. Except for one box truck and a few pickups that were now being loaded with what seemed to be the remaining Saviors.

She noticed Simon talking with one guy and heading for a truck.

“Simon!” She called after him. He stopped and turned, waiting for her to catch up to him. She and Simon had only had a few short interactions since she got to the Sanctuary, but she’d developed a small sense of safety with him. She liked him, or thought she could if she spent any time with him. “Where are you headed?” She asked as she approached him.

“We are going to see a guy that’s supposed to be dead.” He answered, chuckling a little.

Greg… Hilltop. She remembered the deal Rick had made – the event that marked the start of this whole mess. 

“Is everybody else already there?” She asked him, gesturing to the empty – well, everything.

He chuckled again. “Nah, Negan took a big crew to visit your old pals a little earlier. I imagine they’ll be gone most of the day.”

Her heart sank. She knew Negan wouldn’t ignore her advice, but she didn’t know he’d implement it this fast.

She watched as the last of Simon’s crew loaded up and he turned to go, too. “Can I come with you?”

Simon stopped again and turned to look at her. He sighed as he said “I would love to take you along; I think you’d be valuable. But Negan hasn’t okayed you to be on a crew yet.” And with that, he finished his trek to his truck and got in. He gave her a sympathetic look and a nod as they drove past her and out the gate.

When the last truck was out of sight, she turned on her heels and sprinted back to the building.

----

This was her chance. With the place all but empty – at least of Saviors – she could get Daryl out. They’d still have to be careful not to be seen by any of the workers or people who lived here, but that shouldn’t be hard.

She knew where they were keeping him – she’d followed Dwight at as careful of a distance as she could manage after seeing Daryl in the hallway yesterday. She’d watched him put him in a dark room, lock the door, and start playing some godawful song that sounded like it was from a 70s sitcom on a boombox outside his door.

She almost slammed into a wall turning the corner into his hall. And there it was – his door. His door was open. Wait. Open? She rushed into it and immediately deflated. In the light from the hall, she could make out a puddle of vomit in a corner. It was completely empty otherwise. Of course Negan had taken Daryl with them. What better way to remind Rick that Negan could hurt his people than by bringing the one he now owned? She thought for a moment, before quickly making her way to a room she had barely registered as an office when she ran past. She grabbed a pen and found a small piece of paper. She scribbled out a note to him. She needed him to know she was still with him, still working on a plan.

Stay strong. I’m coming for you soon. -Sunshine

She folded it as small as she could and pulled the door behind her in the cell just shy of closing. She followed the small stream of light from under the door and placed the note on the edge of it. No one else would notice it, she hoped.

She took one last look around his cell. Fury rose in her as she pictured him sleeping on the cold concrete for the last 3 nights. Her shoulders sagged and she felt suddenly exhausted as she made her way back to her room. How long could she go on like this? How long could she hold onto hope that she really would get Daryl and herself out of here? Back in her room, she crawled into bed and stared at the wall until she let herself slip into a restless sleep.

----

She didn’t know how long she’d been asleep, but when she opened her eyes again it was dark outside. She blinked away the blur of a long nap, and almost shouted when she heard a throat clear in the dark.

“You’re awake.” Negan. In her room? Her pulse quickened. He was back, which meant Daryl was back… had someone found her note after all? Was he here to punish her? She slowly moved into a sitting position with her back against the headboard, and looked to where he sat in the armchair in the corner of her room.  She furrowed her brow in a question.

“I wanted to tell you something,” he said in answer, “but I found you asleep. Sherry said you’d been asleep since 2pm. I was worried you might be sick.” She saw what looked like genuine concern in his eyes. He was worried about her? He waited for her to respond.

“I’m fine.” She croaked out, with a dry mouth.

“Good!” He exclaimed suddenly and stood to walk to her bedside. He sat down beside her, grinning that wicked Negan grin. “I have good news for you! I went to see your old friends today, and I have to say, it went so. much. better. than I had hoped. And that is all thanks to you!” He patted her leg on the last word, a little high on her thigh, and a jolt shot through her from the touch.

“I just did what you asked,” she answered humbly.

“Oh, you did more than that,” he chuckled, “and like I told you, I am a generous husband. You start with Simon’s crew bright and early tomorrow morning!”

She was still processing the information; stuck on a question she was too afraid to ask. He must have read it on her face.

“Well, I had hoped for a little more gratitude…” he said pointedly.

He sighed. “What is it? I thought you’d be happy to get what you wanted.”

“No, I am. Really. I just…” she looked into his eyes, let him see her concern. “You saw…everyone? How was Maggie doing? She was the sick one the night everything happened.”

He went still, his face serious. He shook his head slightly, “she didn’t make it.”

She tried to hold back the tears stinging her eyes, but there were too many. She turned her head away from Negan to wipe them.

He watched her, and when she finally turned back to him, she was surprised to see sympathy on his face.

“I liked Maggie,” she explained, closing her eyes to stop more tears. “She accepted me faster than the others, quickly became my friend. We got close.” She didn’t tell him about the baby – that secret wasn’t hers to tell. Especially not with him.

She felt the bed shift, and suddenly Negan was scooting beside her, wedging himself between her and the headboard. He wrapped his arms around her, and she found herself resting her head on his chest, unable to stop her crying now. She hated that he felt… good, with his arms around her, comforting her. Even though she’d slept most of the day, she felt exhausted with the weight of grief. He held her while she cried, rubbing her shoulder with his hand. She cried for Maggie and Maggie’s baby. She cried for Glenn and Abraham – she had not let herself feel that until now. She cried for Daryl and the unimaginable things he was experiencing. She cried in fear that she might not be able to pull this off after-all, that she might have taken on more than she could handle. And she cried for herself, for the change she could feel blooming in her. It scared her - what she might become. So she kept crying, and Negan kept holding her, until she fell asleep against his chest.

She awoke again a few hours later to feel him standing from her bed and making his way to the door.

“Thank you, Negan,” she said softly as she settled into her pillow. Whether she was thanking him for letting her join a crew, for telling her about Maggie, or for offering her comfort in her grief, she wasn’t sure. Maybe a little of each. “I really am grateful.”

“You can show me tomorrow how much,” he answered from the door, and she could hear that wicked grin in it. It didn’t register that she grinned, too.

Love when writers do an insane amount of unnecessary research for their fics. I follow an author that did like 8 months of intense research into 14th century Scotland so they could write smut about it, and guess what. It was some fucking incredible porn AND I learned about old Scottish politics

Just finished the final chapter Justified and what a whirlwind! ❤️❤️❤️ I am confused as to whether Y/N loved Negan or not. Whether she'd choose him over Daryl or not. Is another story coming? How does this end for Y/N? Sorry for all the questions, I just really loved the fic!

🫶🏻

Thank you for reading it, I’m so glad you loved it!

There’s one more installment coming, I think it’ll wrap it all up nicely and answer all of your questions. So hang in for one more with me!

I watched this movie for the first time today, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to think about anything else for the foreseeable future.

Please watch it as soon as possible - La Belle et la Bête 2014.

The End Will Justify It All - Chapter 6

A Negan Series

Chapter 5 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 1

Warnings - guns, shooting, wounds, blood, violence, captivity, illness, and some language. 18+ only.

Feedback is welcome!

This was wrong.

There were too many. How had this happened?

She’d sent a note through a Savior to Simon earlier in the day to meet her for a drink at the fire after her dinner with Negan, which meant there should be three guys along the fence: Simon at the fire on the far end, and two guys on guard.

She counted 14 right now, maybe more, they kept moving. She looked at Daryl and Sherry, hunched down beside her, the three of them hiding behind a stack of wood crates. There were enough stacks and barrels between them and the hole she’d strategically placed in the fence that in the dark of night, they could get most of the way unseen.  The last ten yards to the hole was so exposed that no matter how well they timed the run, with this many eyes looking around, they would be seen.

Everything else had gone perfectly today. Fat Joey didn’t question her at all when she told him Dwight asked her to tune up his bike and have it waiting outside the gate for him. She had a whole story ready to explain where Dwight was going and why, but he could not have cared less. He was just happy to be speaking to her. She smiled sweetly at him, and he handed her the keys without another thought.

She’d asked Sherry to deliver Dwight’s lunch to him in front of Daryl’s cell today, so she could get to her target practice early.

“Hey, before I forget,” she said to Sherry as she handed her Dwight’s tray with a BLT, pickle, and glass of iced sweet tea, “can you meet me in the stairwell after my dinner with Negan tonight? I just need to talk for a while.” Sherry agreed, happily, as she walked away with the tray of food.

Her dinner with Negan was normal, if not a little awkward after the events of the night before. They ate, they played Scrabble, and they drank. She needed the drink. She found herself a little too distracted by every move of his mouth, flashes of their encounter last night trying to make their way into her mind. She had to force herself to focus on her Scrabble tiles more than once. It didn’t help that Negan played suggestive words, with that wicked grin, every chance he got. She was starting to sweat. She offered to refill their drinks when they were about halfway through the game and left him staring at his tiles while she worked at the bar cart. She delivered a well-timed joke and they both chuckled as she tipped the small bag of crushed sleeping pills into his whiskey. Swirling the glass around as she walked back, she smiled to herself as the powder dissolved in the amber liquid.

He'd emptied the glass by the time the game finished, him beating her for the first time. She wished she’d purposefully let that happen.  She bid him goodnight. She even kissed him on the cheek before leaving, and grinned again.

Dwight was passed out in his chair outside Daryl’s cell, as she expected. She’d put enough crushed sleeping pills in both his mayo and his sweet tea to knock Fat Joey out, but she couldn’t risk him waking up and ruining it all.

Daryl stared at her wide-eyed when she opened his cell and dragged the sleeping Dwight into it. She wanted to embrace Daryl, kiss him, and explain everything, but she had the escape planned very specifically. There just wasn’t time. She settled for one deep but quick kiss and held his hands as she instructed him to follow her closely, silently, and do exactly what she said.

They tiptoed as fast as they could down the halls, only having to duck into an empty room once to hide from a passerby. When they reached the stairwell, they found Sherry where she’d said she’d be. Sherry seemed to understand what was happening as soon as she saw Daryl, and without a word followed them both down the stairs.

“Wassat?” Daryl asked her as she grabbed a backpack from a dark corner at the bottom of the stairs.

“Supplies,” she answered, flinging it on her back and motioning for them to hide against the wall while she opened the door to outside.

They crouched, scampered, and crawled in the dark, finally making it here, where she was frozen, trying to figure out what went wrong. She hadn’t planned for this many guys; there shouldn’t be this many guys.

“Wha’s wrong?” Daryl asked her, feeling her stress.

“Just let me think for a second,” she whispered back.

She knew it wasn’t possible. She couldn’t get them all out without them being seen. If they were seen, they’d be hunted down. What would follow that made her stomach turn.

She knew what she had to do.

She turned to Daryl, kissed him hard and passionately. She handed him the bag of supplies and told him, “Stay low behind the row of stacks and barrels, when you get to the end, time it so no one sees you, and make a run straight to the fence. There is a hole cut out there, you can’t see it until you’re on it. Whatever you do, just keep going. When you get to the woods, follow the cuts in the tree like you taught me, you’ll find a bike ready to go. Do not wait for me, I will find you. Take Sherry wherever she wants to go, and then you go somewhere else. Daryl,” she held his face in her hands and looked hard in his eyes, “do not go back to Alexandria. Find another community to hide in until it’s safe to contact Rick.”

She looked at Sherry, “whatever happens here, keep going. Make him keep going.”

Sherry hugged her as she said, “I will. Thank you.”

Daryl started to argue, but she gently pushed him. She watched as they turned and slipped away into the dark.

When they’d gotten far enough away, she took a deep breath and stood, stepping into the flood lights. All the guys stopped moving and looked at her. She looked toward Simon, who should have been expecting her, and her heart stopped. Standing right beside him, with his arms crossed and Lucille hanging from one hand, was Negan. Well, his sleeping pills didn’t work, she thought.

“Tsk tsk tsk,” he shook his head, “well, boys, it looks like you were telling me the truth. Unlike Y/N here, who has been lying to me…”

When she said nothing, Negan turned to Simon, “I believe you two were going to be having a drink together? Well, what the hell? Let’s have a drink!”

And there it was, exactly what she needed. What Daryl and Sherry needed. “Negan, I’m so glad you’re joining us!” she exclaimed, seeing a flash of surprise across of Negan’s face at her response. “I love having drinks around the fire with friends! In fact, why don’t we invite everyone?”

She spun in a half circle, looking at each Savior in area. “Negan and I would like to invite you all to have a drink with us right now,” and when only a few moved toward her she added, “on Negan!”

They all moved at that, smiles spreading across their faces, and some swatting her arm in thanks as they passed. She smiled at Negan as they all filed in around the fire, far from the fence Daryl and Sherry should be approaching now.

She thought she heard the ting of metal moving. She smiled to herself.

She spent the next hour and a half making her rounds with the guys at the fire, joking with most of them, asking some of them about their girlfriends or wives. Everyone enjoying the beers she’d provided on Negan’s tab. When she felt she’d given Daryl and Sherry a big enough safety net of time, she said her goodnights and made her way back to the building.

She was almost to the door when Negan called from the group, “Y/n! You can’t go yet! You and Simon barely spoke, and I for one, would like to know what it was you wanted to talk about that brought you out in on this cold night, sneaking around like a rat, to talk in the dark…”

------

She braced herself for whatever he was about to say or do. She could almost see the fury radiating from him in waves. It no longer mattered what happened to her, she could handle it. Or maybe she couldn’t. That was fine, too. Daryl was out, he could be with his family again. He could do good, be good out there. Somehow, he and Rick would take Negan down, she had no doubt about that. Hopefully she would live to see it, she thought, as she saw the rage in Negan’s eyes directed at her.

He opened his mouth to speak, but it wasn’t his voice that escaped his mouth, it was a boom. A gunshot. No, it didn’t come from his mouth, it had come from somewhere behind him. Was someone shooting? Time seemed to slow. She felt a pang in her thigh, she looked down. There was blood, dark and thick, insidiously oozing from a hole in her pants, where the sting came from. Her legs gave out in that moment, and she was on the ground. She could no longer hear anything around her, could only feel the pain. She was on fire. She gripped at her thigh, a wounded animal panicking. She needed to calm down, get help, breathe. When was the last time she took a breath? She willed herself to suck in air, her head clearing some with the effort. She winced as she forced herself into a sitting position and took another breath. Apply pressure, she told herself, stop the bleeding until someone gets the doctor. She pressed, screaming at the added pain, her vision fading at the edges. She breathed again and kept pressing. Why was no one coming to help? Her ears cleared, and she knew without looking that no one would be. She raised her head to see blurs of legs as people ran past her, she heard men yelling, some screaming in pain, more gunshots. There were others here, now. Their faces were covered with what looked like ski masks.

She needed to get somewhere safe or get to some weapons. She tried to stand, stumbled back down, vision almost completely black from the effort. She tried again. Successfully on her feet now, she raised upright to evaluate the best direction to go. She saw it happen from her peripheral, but not in time to stop the metal cylinder from connecting with her skull. She barely had time to register the pain erupt from her temple before she was unconscious.   

She felt the pain before she knew she was awake. She’d never felt anything like it, she could barely breathe she hurt so badly. She couldn’t decide what parts of her hurt worse – her left thigh was still screaming with pain. Her head throbbed, a sharp pain radiating from her right cheek. She could taste blood, and guessed at her stuffy nose that she must have fallen on her face. The pain on her back was new – it stung, as cool air whispered against raw skin. She must have been dragged, she realized. Dragged where?

She opened her eyes. Well, she tried. Only her left eye would open, the swelling from her right cheek forcing that eye closed. Her head still drooping, she was looking at her lap. Her left pant leg was soaked in her own blood. She slowly lifted her hand to survey her head wound, but it wouldn’t move. She noticed then the ropes tying her hands behind her, uncomfortable as her elbows awkwardly tried to bend around the chairback behind her. She saw similar ropes restraining her feet to the legs of the chair she sat in. Do not panic, she told herself, assess.

As slowly as possible, to avoid blacking out, she raised her head. She saw a dark room lit by several camping lanterns placed on the floor. Concrete walls with no windows, some large iron equipment and pipes, possibly a boiler room? She and the lamps were the only occupants. She carefully turned her head, searching for a door. She heard one open behind her, and light flooded the floor in front of her, shadowed by her own hunched figure. “She’s awake,” a man’s voice said.

Two sets of footsteps approached behind her. Another voice said, “We know you’re in some considerable pain…” she didn’t respond. “We’d like to help you, if you want that.”

He waited for her to answer. She didn’t.

“We wouldn’t ask for much in return,” the first voice added, “just some information.”

“You gonna make me talk to the wall or come around and face me like men?” she growled, the effort of speaking sending the pain in her cheek rioting through her head.

One of them chuckled. “I would bet money that spirit is what attracted Negan to you,” he said as he moved in front of her and crouched to meet her eyes. He surveyed her face and whistled, “it might have been your face too, before this.” He touched her cheek on the last word, and she flinched away from him at the fire hot pain it sent through her.

“Shooo, I bet that does hurt.” He cooed at her. She glared as best she could with one open eye.

“We have some medicine, a doctor here, that could at least make that hurt less,” he said, “all we need to know is how many people Negan has working for him, and where they are stationed.”

“It doesn’t hurt that bad,” she said nonchalantly. She couldn’t think clearly from the pain, but she knew she didn’t want to give these assholes anything they wanted. “I think I’m good.”

The man in her face smiled, the smile not unlike one she’d seen on Negan’s face plenty of times, before making a point. “Well, I guess we need to change that,” he said viciously, before his right hand made forceful contact with her left jaw, sending her head flying right, only to see the back hand of the other guy flying toward her wounded cheek. She went unconscious again.

When she woke the next time, she heard thumping. Unrhythmic, sporadic, and it was coming from several different directions. She heard her two new friends talking in low, panicked voices behind her. “I thought we’d have more time!” one of them said, “how did they find us after only two days?” “I don’t know, but we gotta do something.” “What? They have us surrounded, and they’ve already killed most of our people!” The pause in their conversation gave her mind a chance to catch up, to realize what she was heard was gunshots.

“Did you really think,” her words were slow, the effort of talking through her newly bruised jaw slowing her down, “you could hit him at home, and he wouldn’t retaliate?” The guys moved from the door to stand in front of her while she talked. “You didn’t even know how many people he had, and you thought you could beat him?” she forced a laugh through the excruciating pain.

“You think this is funny, bitch?” one of them responded. “Well I’ll show you what I think is funny,” he said, lifting his metal pipe, the one she assumed gave her the busted face, like a baseball bat.

“I would not do that if I were you,” a familiar villainous voice growled from the door behind her, and her heart fluttered. Negan was here. For her. She was surprised at the relief she felt. “Not that holding back now will save you.”

Two Saviors appeared from behind her, holding guns. Her captors raised their hands, and the Saviors forced them to their knees. She felt her wrist restraints cut and fall, and rubbed her arms as she watched Negan cut her foot restraints. He placed her arm around his shoulder and helped her to stand on her good foot. With most of her weight leaning on him, he helped her to limp toward the door. She stopped him before they exited and turned back toward the room.

“If I can’t be the one to do it, I need to see it,” she told him. He nodded in understanding, and then toward the Saviors. She didn’t flinch at all at the gunshots, or as their lifeless bodies hit the floor.

Negan picked her up, then, carrying her from the room. He rushed down passages, and out through double doors. Blinking her good eye against the blinding sun, she heard continued shooting, and saw bodies, both Saviors and not, on the ground as Negan ran with her toward a truck. He placed her in the passenger seat as easily as he could and made for the driver’s side. She heard him yell orders to whoever was near as he climbed in and started the truck, not hesitating before throwing it in reverse and speeding away from the battle.

------

The truck sputtered and steam flooded from the hood.

“Shit.” Negan grumbled as the truck came to a stop on its own. “It must have been shot before we got away.” He frantically searched the cab of the truck. “Of course there is no damn radio in here! Is everyone an idiot?”

He thought for a moment, and finally asked, “Can you walk at all?”

It was the first time he’d spoken to her since they’d fled, they had been driving for about thirty minutes. “I… um, I can try,” she replied.

She steeled herself. This was going to hurt, but she knew there was no alternative. With all the gunfire, they didn’t know how many walkers were on their way toward them, and who knew how long it would be until their guys started heading back. If there were any guys left to come back… she shook the thought from her head as Negan opened her door and helped her out of the truck.

Immediately she knew she couldn’t do this, but she refused to tell Negan that. Refused to let him see the severity of her pain. So she began trying to find a rhythm of step, lean into him, hop. Each hop sent a white-hot flare of pain through her whole body, but she kept going. She was grateful that he would stop often to let her catch her breath, using the time to also wiggle her jaw, which was getting stiff and even more sore from clenching her teeth.

She guessed they’d been slowly hobbling down the road for about two hours when they saw an old barn ahead, a short distance from the road, in a field. He jerked his chin in the barn’s direction and said, “we need to stop here for the night.” It was nearly dusk already, and she knew if they kept going, they would risk tripping in the dark. The thought of that pain alone made her flinch.

Inside the barn, Negan gathered a mound of hay and gently set her down on it. After securing the doors behind them, he sat down across from her, resting his head against the wall behind him and closing his eyes. She watched as he seemed to be calming himself down, if she didn’t know better, she would have thought he was meditating.

“Who were those guys?” she asked, finally breaking the tense silence.

“One of the communities we own,” he said without opening his eyes, “we caught one of them at the Sanctuary when they took you. Took the bastard a whole day to break and tell us where they’d taken you. It took us half the next day to get there.” He finally lifted his head and surveyed her, lingering on her wounds. “It’s gonna be a long walk back…”

She nodded, fighting back the stinging tears at the thought of the long journey ahead of her tomorrow.

He moved to her, gingerly touching her wounded face and looking more closely at the wounds in the fading rays of light barn walls were allowing in. He met her eyes, still lightly holding her face in his hands. It hurt, but she didn’t mind.  

“I saw you go down,” he said slowly, “from the first shot. But I didn’t see where they’d hit you. By the time I got to where you fell, you were gone. I thought you were dead, until Simon said he saw them load you up and take off.” His eyes shone with pain.

“I didn’t know if anyone would come for me,” she said softly. She hadn’t admitted it to herself in that boiler room, but she had not been hopeful of making it back out of there. “When I heard you…” her voice broke as her tears finally flooded. He gently pulled her into his chest and wrapped her in his arms as she wept. When she stopped, she said into his shirt, “we really gotta stop hanging out like this.” They both chuckled as they separated.

It was dark now, and the temperature was dropping. Negan made a dugout in the hay and helped her to lay down in it. Once she was settled, he settled in behind her, pulling her close for warmth. They laid that way for a long time, listening to each other breathe, when she eventually broke the silence.

“I believe I still have two free questions,” she said in lighthearted tone.

“You definitely used two already,” he quipped back.

“Yes, but you only answered one of them,” she said, lightly pressing him with her elbow. “So, I get the second one back.”

“I’ll allow it,” he said, pulling her a little closer and nestling her head under his chin.

She laid there a few more minutes before asking, “you showing up there today, was that… well, was that to find me? Or for retaliation for attacking you?”

He didn’t answer for long enough that she wondered if he’d fallen asleep. “It wasn’t about retaliation,” he said finally. “As for your other question… Lucille was my wife, before. And during. She died, because of me… because of my inaction. I wasn’t going to let inaction be the cause of your death, too.” Something in her ached at his response, some twinge beginning of understanding how he’d become the Negan she knew.

The cold crept deeper into her. She shivered, despite the warmth Negan wrapped around her.

As she succumbed to a pressing urge to sleep, she thought she heard Negan say, “you are burning up.”

------

When she woke up, she was in Negan’s bed in the Sanctuary. An IV in her arm snaked to two pouches of liquids hung from a metal pole beside the head of the bed. She couldn’t remember getting here. In fact, she couldn’t remember much at all following the night in the barn. There were brief flashes of trees rushing past while Negan carried her, the doctor holding her non-wounded eye open and flashing a light into her eye, and the occasional voice talking to her, or someone beside her. It was an unnerving feeling, remembering nothing between one place and the next, but somehow knowing that time had passed.

She realized suddenly how dry her mouth was, and how thirsty she felt. She looked around the room to find a glass of water on the nightstand beside her. Beside the nightstand, in the leather armchair that used to be in the sitting area, Negan slept. He couldn’t have been comfortable, she thought, with his neck at that angle against the back of the chair. He looked a little haggard. Dark circles under his eyes, his scruff longer than he usually kept it, his hair unwashed and a little unkempt. He stirred as she reached for the water glass, just slightly too far away, and sat up when he realized she was awake. He stood, handed the glass to her, and walked out of the room. A moment later, he returned with the doctor.

As he assessed her, she asked questions to fill in the gaps. Her bullet wound was a good one – all the way through, no major arteries nicked, it didn’t hit bone. It would take some time and some effort, but the muscle it pierced would heal and she’d be able to walk again. It had become infected while she was tied up, and the infection had gone deep. Her fever had gotten dangerously high, which explained her sleeping through the last four days. Her cheekbone was likely fractured, though he expected it to heal well, too. Her nose had been reset, and her jaw and cheek bruises were already turning shades of greens and yellows. The swelling had receded enough that she could open her right eye enough to see out of. She turned down the offer to see herself in a mirror. Negan listened intently, not saying anything and not meeting her eyes.

The doctor left her with orders to drink as much water as she could, eat as much as she could, and sleep as much as she could. Once the infection cleared and the gunshot wound had closed, she could start working on walking again.

She looked at Negan, who was staring at the door the doctor had shut behind him.

“I vaguely remember you carrying me through the woods… you must have nearly killed yourself carrying me that far. I can’t thank you enough,” she said, meaning every word. He did not turn his head.

“I can ask the doctor to help me move to my room, so you can have your bed back.”

“No,” was all he said, before leaving her alone.

She told herself not to stress about whatever that was. If it was about her, he’d eventually have it out with her, and if it wasn’t then it would go away. But sitting there, in his bed, with nothing to do but think, stressing about it is what she did. She went over every possible reason he would be pissed at her, when she was literally unconscious for four days. After an hour or so of spiraling, the door opened, and she was surprised to see Tanya enter with a tray of food. Tanya set the tray up on the bed and made her way to sit in the chair near the bedside.

“Um,” she said to Tanya, with a raised eyebrow, “thank you?”

Tanya seemed to know she wasn’t asking about the food and explained. “Negan sent me to sit with you for a while. If you need anything I can get it for you. Or I guess if you want to talk, that’s what I’m here for, too.” Then she added, quietly, “which will be a nice change of pace.”

“Wait,” she asked Tanya, pulling the tray of food closer, “what does that mean?”

“Oh,” Tanya pushed a breath out of her nose in a sort-of laugh, “you’ve just been asleep every time I’ve been in here before.”

“You... you came to see me?” she was surprised. She and Tanya weren’t exactly friends. With Sherry gone, she wasn’t sure she had any friends here anymore.

“Well… Negan didn’t want you to be alone. He sat with you almost all of the time, but if he had to leave for whatever reason, he sent one of us to be with you. Said we had to stay awake in case you woke up.”

“I guess that explains why he looked so rough,” she commented.

Tanya replied, “yeah, I don’t think he’s had much sleep since he carried you in.”

She contemplated all of this while she ate the food Tanya had brought her. It didn’t take her long, she found with the first bite that she was famished.

When she finished her meal, she asked Tanya to fill her in on what she’d missed. She put on her best surprised face when Tanya told her Daryl had escaped. As Tanya informed her that when Negan was gathering the troops to come after her and her captors, they’d discovered Dwight missing, and the wives had not seen Sherry for a while either. They assumed both had run away together. Then two days ago, Negan suddenly remembered Daryl was locked up and with Dwight gone, no one was making sure he was fed, but they opened the cell to find Dwight in there, half-starved and feral. He said Sherry had drugged his food, and he woke up in Daryl’s cell.

“Sherry and Daryl ran away together?” she asked Tanya, dumbfounded.

Tanya couldn’t believe it either, “Negan was furious. He sent Simon and a group to Alexandria to find Daryl, but they haven’t been able to find him.”

She didn’t let Tanya see the relief she felt. This had worked out surprisingly well for her. She had planned to deal with Dwight later, though she hadn’t quite decided how at the time she’d locked him up. And Daryl had listened to her and didn’t go find Rick, that, too, was a relief.

After a few more minutes of chitchat, and Tanya getting a couple of books for her to read while she was bedbound, she told Tanya she was feeling very tired. According to Tanya, Negan wanted Tanya in there anyway, so she got a book for herself, and moved to Negan’s couch.

Sleep quickly consumed her, and she woke hours later to find Negan gently shaking the foot of her good leg to rouse her.

“Dinner,” he grunted, motioning to the tray on the bed.  He helped her into a sitting position before seating himself in the chair beside the bed.

“You don’t want to eat, too?” she asked him. 

“No,” he bluntly replied. Still in a mood.

She ate in silence for a few minutes. She was trying to decide how to proceed in conversation when he beat her to it.

“Free question,” he declared. “And don’t lie this time.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “When did I lie to you?” she asked him, not looking away from her stew as she took a spoonful.

“When I asked you before why you were really here. You lied. I want the truth this time.”

Her food turned leaden in her stomach, and she suddenly had no appetite.

“You came here to get Daryl out, didn’t you?”

She looked up at him, held his hard stare.

“Yes.”

“And you succeeded, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“I knew the moment we couldn’t find Dwight and Sherry was gone, too, there was more to it than them running away. They’d already tried that and failed miserably; Dwight is too spineless to try a second time. And that douchebag in Alexandria, Spencer, he’d let it slip that you and Daryl had a little thing going before you met me… so, I checked Daryl’s cell,” he confessed, “and who did I find, sleeping like a baby, not a scratch on him?”

“Negan,” she started, but he cut her off.

“Here’s the other thing, you didn’t just drug Dwight and get Daryl out… you tried to drug me, too. Didn’t you?”

She didn’t respond.

“I took one sip of that whiskey and could tell something was off about it. But I wanted to see what you were doing.”

She swallowed down the bile rising in her throat. She couldn’t run, she knew screaming would be useless. All she had on this tray was a spoon and some hot stew… she could throw it in his face, but that would only piss him off… she had no option but to take whatever punishment he had in store for her.

“Are you going to burn my face?” she asked him, no fear in her voice.

He stared at her for a long time before responding.

“No,” he said, defeat laced his tone. “No. You covered your tracks well. Dwight believes Sherry drugged him, and everyone else believes it, too.”

She loosed a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She wanted to thank him, but she didn’t think he’d receive it well.

They sat in silence for the rest of the evening, Negan removing her tray when she didn’t touch it for a while. He retreated to the bathroom, and she heard the shower turn on. She settled in, feeling tired again, and closed her eyes. Sleep didn’t come, but she kept her eyes closed, as Negan completed his shower and came back into the room. She heard him click lamps off, his footsteps moving around the room. She felt the bed dip as he climbed in beside her.

He'd found her out, revealed her plans, she had confessed it all, and now he was going to sleep beside her. She turned to her side to find his bare back facing her.

She knew she shouldn’t press her luck, but now curiosity was getting the best of her.

“If you knew when those guys took me… why did you come for me? Why lose all those guys to get me back?”

She watched his back decompress as she sighed, and then as he turned to his side to face her.

“How is the answer to that not obvious by now?”

She searched his eyes and watched as they moved to her mouth and then back to her eyes. He moved in close, their lips nearly touching. Then he kissed her. This kiss was not like the last time he kissed her. This was gentle, passionate, soft but powerful. She kissed him back.

When he pulled away from the kiss several minutes later, her silently cursing her wounds and the IV preventing them from going further, Negan said softly to her, “you will have to decide one of these days. You can try to survive with Daryl, or you can thrive here with me. You can’t be in my bed and his, too.” With that, he turned over and went to sleep.

Sirius isn’t usually my cup of tea - I’m a Snape girl through and though - but this was really hot and I can totally picture Sirius Black with a tongue piercing!

i meannn i told you i can't shut up (sirius has tongue piercing in this and i lose my mind about it)

sirius black x fem!reader, nsfw ♡

sirius can easily spend hours between your legs.

he pulls you into an angle he likes, your thighs parted to keep his head still, he likes to call the soft flesh of your legs as 'the best ear muffs'. you can only lay on bed, his pretty pillow princess, he willingly does all the work.

the sounds of him licking broad stripes on your cunt makes your head dizzy, he is shameless with his intentions. your panties are stuffed in his jeans' pocket, the tank top you wear to bed does nothing to cover your chest. you arch your back as he sucks your clit only a bit, his black locks cover your lower belly when he buries his head to your wetness.

"sweetest thing." he says, panting. "can't get enough."

"sirius-" you start but you don't know what to say. he's good at what he's doing, his tongue piercing grazes your sensitive spot and you whine. "do it again." you plead, eyes closed and brain slowly turning into mush.

"do what, sweetness?" he teases. "look at that, you're even wetter. didn't think that's possible."

"come on-"

"patience, babe." he says, biting your thigh.

your hands go to his head desperately when his piercing touches you again. you wrap your fingers around his locks unconciously, moaning his name as you pull him closer. you press him against your skin and he obliges with a soft groan. he sucks your needy bud, fingers stroking the sweet patch inside you. you pull him again when he touches a bit harder, the pressure is insane.

he only has a second to lift his head before you use your fingers on his scalp. "fuck." he whispers against your lower belly. "driving me mad."

he keeps sucking your clit, it's so swollen between his lips. he enjoys your taste, he adores how your head goes back when you can't stand his teasings. you play with his hair, nails scratching his scalp and sirius feels himself getting harder. it sends a chill to his spine, he presses himself on bed desperately.

"do it again." he says, getting faster. "pull my hair, baby, go ahead."

"do you like it?" you ask, breathless.

he rubs his clothed cock on bed again. "i like it." his cock is so sensitive, it hurts. "i'm gonna come for you, babe, if you keep doing that."

the words flash in your mind and you can't control what happens next. you moan needily, coming all over his face as he keeps licking you. your shaky fingers pull his hair harshly, you don't mean that (maybe), but sirius loves it. he rubs himself harder on bed as he grabs your thighs, the tingly feeling leaves him lightheaded.

the next minutes go blurry, sirius palms himself and squeezes with enough pressure to come. he doesn't care about his clothes or being embarrassed, thick liquid drips down on him as he lets himself come.

he breathes slowly, puts his head on your belly. the room is filled with breathing sounds, your fingers stroke his hair gently. you fix the messed up strands, your eyes heavy from sex. sirius is no better, he kisses your naked skin absent-mindedly, nuzzles closer to you.

"you ruined me." he whispers. "i love you."

"i know how to make you do anything i want now." you grin. "perfect."

sirius scoffs. he pulls himself up to make an eye contact, he gets closer to your face. "as if i haven't been wrapped around your finger from the start."

you cup his cheeks, brush a sweet kiss on his lips. "i love you, too."

Second best - Within You is the best. I need it to have 5 more minutes of lyrics please

i think as the world falls down by david bowie is the best song ever and labyrinth is the best movie ever