Hi Again! Back Here Pretending I Didn't Say I'd Be Posting More And Then Disappeared. I Hope There's

started 'água viva' today. my first clarice! her writing is wow, i've been annotating a lot. so many thoughts already. just wild!

i was gonna go for run today, but gave up, it's been one of those lazy days. probably do some yoga before go to bed.

tomorrow i feel like it's gonna be a good day. (probably won't though) - let's keep it positive.

that's a goal: be more positive! 🤍🌧

so, i came back to tumblr, after all! weird to be here, i've disappeared almost everywhere, the queen of ghosting. it was for a good reason. i've been dealing with a long period of crisis, gave up 2 semesters at uni, been stuck in my bed 23h/day (not a hyperbole). finally, i feel like coming back here.

in this whole period, i haven't done too much. couldn't read, watched not so many movies/tv shows, but i did listen to a bunch of music. that kept me a bit less depressed.

i feel like i have something inside of me that is trying too hard to get out, but i don't know how to do it; it's a feeling of creation. only a few people actually feel this, like they need to create something, to put it out, but haven't found a way yet. it's stuck, and it's a whole interwork.

AND altho i know that not many people follow me, neither know who i am or whatever, but to anybody reading this and going through something bad, i hope you get better. focus on your health. it'll pass, doesn't matter when, just be strong and keep fighting. this isn't a coaching shit or self-help bad book, but for experience of someone who's dealing with way too much. everyday is a new day to begin again, until you get it.

have a really muthafuckin great day, guys. much love to you. (that's for the 2 people maybe reading this lmfao thank you for being here) 🌧🤍

📖 reading week (11/12 - 17/12)

currently reading

lolita - nabokov (pg. 56/ 331)

crime e castigo - dostoievski (pg. 33/561)

the way of kings - brandon sanderson (530/1252)

estado de sítio - camus (42/149)

to be read

cult classic - sloane crosley

i love you but i've chosen darkness - claire vaye watkings

dream work - mary oliver

read (11/12-17/12)

in the dream house - carmen maria machado

this one.

E no final, assim, calado, eu sei que vou ser coroado rei de mim.

- Los Hermanos

Nirvana

Rare Caption

finished 'tell me i'm an artist', which was really good. what it means to be an artist? that's a very profound question, i think.

also, i'm reading 'infocracia' because i want to read everything byung-chul han writes.

actually i'm reading too many books at the same time. 5! AND trying to deal with college.

great music to be my partner, hayley slays. fr. 🤍🌧

“There is no justification for present existence other than its expansion into an indefinitely open future.”

— Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex

been holding on too tight to things i can control, but today the rope ran outta my hands.

opened my eyes in the morning and straight up felt completely defeated.

there are those days when you just gotta accept to lose the battle, live minute by minute, wait for tomorrow. tomorrow, we still have possibility.