The Point Of Officially Naming A Pet Is Not To Actually Use That Name But To Have A Baseline From Which

Someone's probably already done this in better quality, but here you go

But what if it was all a dream

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

Fanfiction: Alphys and Undyne’s First Date

The Undertale fandom seems obsessed with the skelebros and admittedly so am I, but I want to give a little love to Undertale’s cutest couple!

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Undyne sits on a bench in a large park. In the distance there are people playing Frisbee and soccer, but no one is nearby. Her girlfriend, Alphys – and she still can’t get over saying that – is grabbing some ice cream from a nearby store. Undyne had wanted to go with her, but Alphys insisted on paying this time. Something about “raising her affection stat”.

Come to think of it, shouldn’t she be back by now? Undyne gets out her phone to ask how Alphys is doing.

"Ohmigod, ohmigod, UNDYNE!"

Undyne starts, nearly dropping her phone. She turns to see her normally-shy girlfriend running with two claws full of ice cream cups.

"Undyne!" Alphys shouts. "Guess what!" She thrusts one of the cups in front of Undyne's face.

Undyne blinks. The ice cream looks a little like coffee flavor, with a few black flecks. It's still cold, and smells like salt. "What kind of ice cream is this?" she asks.

"It's snail ice cream!" Alphys says, bouncing on her toes. "I saw it in the store and I couldn't believe it SNAIL ICE CREAM IS REAL and I just had to try it omigodit'sjustlikeMewMewKissyCutieEEEEEEEEE!"

Alphys is so adorable when she gets like this. Undyne grins as the little yellow dinosaur shows more enthusiasm than she has all day, eyes bright and words flying. Alphys hadn’t been nearly as excited when they played paintball, though maybe Undyne had been too busy hunting the humans to notice. In fact, she’d been a bit scared of the other players. Undyne thought she’d had fun, though, but it was nothing compared to this.

"-and then she brings them back to her friends, but... it... turns out... they don't like them..." Alphys trails off, and her face falls. "oh no..."

"What?" Undyne asks. To her horror, Alphys begins to hyperventilate and her hands shake.

"Oh no! I forgot you wanted strawberry!" Alphys wails. She drops the ice cream and covers her face in shame. The cups bounce on the sidewalk. "I'm so sorry, Undyne! I must be trash, what kind of person forgets to get the right ice cream-"

"Alphys!"

"-I should have just gone with the flavor you asked for, I knew I was going to screw this up-"

"Alphys!"

"-I've been a mess this whole date, why did I even do this, i should have just stayed home, iamsuchapieceof-"

"ALPHYS!"

Alphys squeaks, cringing away. Undyne feels guilt crawling on her back. She knew Alphys was a little out of her comfort zone, but she hadn't thought it was this bad! They were supposed to be having fun!

Alphys sniffles a little, and Undyne immediately pulls her into a hug. Alphys "eep"s and freezes, then hugs Undyne back. A wet patch grows on Undyne's shoulder, and her soul aches. She rubs her girlfriend's back soothingly. "There, there," she mutters. "It's okay."

"i'm sorry," says Alphys, voice muffled by cloth.

Undyne shakes her head. "It's alright, Alphys."

"B-but the ice cream-"

"It's fine. I'm not mad about the ice cream."

Undyne pushes her back up so she can look Alphys in the eye. "I told you, I love how passionate you are. I love the energy you put into things, whether that's science or snail ice cream. And just a few minutes ago, that was the most passionate I've seen you all day."

Alphys blushes and looks away. She wipes at her eyes, but she's smiling.

"If anything, I'm the one who should be sorry," says Undyne.

The small dinosaur looks at her with confusion. "W- for what?" she asks.

Now Undyne looks away, shame curling in her gut. "I'm sorry you were so stressed out this whole date," she says. "You didn't really want to go to that paintball place, did you?"

"W-well, I suppose I..." Alphys trails off. "It wouldn't have been my first choice."

Undyne's shoulders droop.

"But..."

Undyne looks up. Alphys looks her straight in the eye, and gives a small smile. "But I wanted to go there with you. You'd been talking about the place all week."

"I was?" Undyne asked.

Alphys nods. "I wanted to see you out there, battling people, letting nothing stand in your way, fighting with you side by side... You were amazing.

"And it was fun! I actually hit someone, and you covered that one jerk in paint, and we ambushed their base like in Sable Swamp, and it was so cool!"

Alphys's eyes sparkle with a familiar glow, and Undyne thinks she might have fallen in love all over again.

"So, you don't have to be sorry about our date," Alphys says. "I had fun."

Undyne sighs, a weight lifting off her back. "So did I." She flashes Alphys a grin. "But maybe next time, we'll do something a little less extreme."

"N-next time?!" Alphys stammers. "You mean it?"

"Heck yeah I mean it! You're not getting rid of me that easy!"

"W-well, then, how about... a movie? At my place?"

"YEAH!" Undyne yells, pumping both fists into the sky. "Let's do it right now!... if you're up to it." The fish woman glances at Alphys cautiously.

Alphys nods, and Undyne quickly scoops up the yellow lizard (“U-Undyne!”). Alphys tries to cover her blush with her claws. Undyne is about to run to Alphys's house, but then pauses. She looks down, where Alphys dropped the two ice creams. One cup has spilled, but the other has miraculously landed bottom-down.

Alphys squeaks when Undyne places the still cold ice cream in her hands. "You said this was snail ice cream, right?" Undyne says.

"Uh-huh," the flustered dino replies. "You... you don't have to try any if you don't want to."

"Yeah, but you wanted to, right?"

"Oh! R-right!"

Alphys grabs the spoon and scoops up a small bite of ice cream. She opens her mouth, puts the spoon inside, closes her lips around the handle...

And a shudder runs through her body.

"Well?" Undyne asks.

"I think I know why only Mew Mew likes this flavor."

"That bad?"

"It's, uh..." Alphys winces a bit. Suddenly, she stills, and a crafty smile spreads across her face. "It's not for the faint of heart," she says, semi-casually.

"... is that a CHALLENGE?!" demands Undyne, determination running through her.

Alphys glances to the side. "... maybe a little."

Undyne sets Alphys down and grabs the ice cream. "No dessert is gonna get the best of me!" she declares. "NGAAAAAAAH!"

With that, she takes the spoon out of the cup and bites down, engulfing half the ice cream in one go. "Shfee!" she gets out. "Ah can tfotawwy-"

A bolt of ice slams into her head. Her eyes widen. "Aagh!" she cries out, slapping her hands to her forehead. The cup falls from her hand.

"Undyne!" Alphys says, rushing to her side. "Undyne, are you alright?"

"Bwain fweeze!" Undyne yells. She cradles her head, still trying to consume the ice cream. She can’t even taste it.

Alphys stares, then a snort of amusement escapes. She covers her mouth, only for another to slip out. The dinosaur tries to smother her giggles, but soon she is on her knees, laughing hysterically.

As the pain subsides, Undyne starts laughing as well, and they collapse onto each other in a giggly pile.

Finally, the two calm down, with only a snigger here or there. They stand back up.

"Come on Alphys," Undyne says. "Let's go home."

And so they do.

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Am I in the fandom yet?

all right so here's the schedule of when dracula daily will be updated, as gleaned from the archives

please share this, it was a pain in the ass

I usually use "I literally give no fucks", but yours is also excellent

i was trying to explain asexuality to an acquaintance and in the heat of the moment i summarized it as "it's like different strokes for different folks, but some folks prefer fewer-to-no strokes."

and then i had to stop and process what i'd just said

Picture a vampire who delivers blood bags for the Red Cross. They’re surrounded by living blood bags whenever they leave their truck, and by literal blood bags while on the road. It’s relatively easy to “lose” a bag here and "discard” an “expired” bag there, even easier if expired blood can still be eaten. However, if something unforeseen occurs, they may have to take a little - or a lot - extra. The higher ups don’t like when donated blood goes missing...

And maybe there are the other vampires who try to steal blood bags, impulsive or desperate people who risk outing themselves for food. How would they see the delivery vampire? How would they be seen?

Companies are starting to use drones to deliver blood to hospitals, ever since Zipline launched in Rwanda in 2014. Would this be an opportunity, or an obstacle? On the one hand, it’s even easier to make blood disappear when you’re the only one with records of where it’s going, and you don’t even have to go outside. On the other, the vampire risks getting replaced at their job, and not being able to adapt to drone work quick enough to get the job. After all, once you’ve gotten used to three meals a day, it’s hard to go back to scrounging or hunting for your dinner...

You know, I've never really thought about Mother Goose poems in years (outside of references to such), but I'd be baffled and bewildered if someone told me they'd never heard Jack & Jill, or Little Miss Muffet, or Hey Diddle Diddle.

And now that I put this into words, it sounds silly. Of course there's people who haven't heard those rhymes, at minimum anyone who didn't speak English as a child. Now I want to know if other languages/cultures have something similar. Those silly childhood tales that hardly ever get thought of, but almost everyone has heard at least once when they were little.

Danny gets a cold, sneezes really hard, and a Little Baby Man goes flying out like a bitey booger

You know, we don't see much of Danny losing control of his duplication ability. Screwing up using it, yes, but he never accidentally duplicates himself. With most of his other powers, he uses them accidentally, instinctively, or involuntarily at first. I wonder if his difficulty with his duplication power is just that it's immature, and at some point it'll become mature, become instinctive, like the others, and he'll wind up using it by mistake, too.

*the horrors approach with hot glue guns and bags of rhinestones* you want to be bedazzled, you say?

*canonballs into 2024 bc i've grown inured to the horrors and am overdue to be bedazzed by the wonders* giddyeup bitch

Huh?

heh.