I just want to keep this in my pocket :)
Why do you ship billford? i want to hear all ur handcanons and reasons hehehe
ALL of them? My friend I do not think you comprehend the magnitude of the task you have requested. I can tell you some of them.
Here's a post I already wrote listing why I like them, and here's a post about what Ford thinks about Bill, and I just made a post about what Bill thinks about Ford because I've had it typed up on discord for ages and decided it needs its own post.
So, some headcanons:
⭐️ While most people who ship it headcanon that they had a romantic relationship of some kind pre-betrayal, my default headcanon is that they DIDN'T have a relationship—mainly because I enjoy making Bill, specifically, miserable, and I like headcanoning that Ford violently lost interest in Bill at the EXACT moment Bill developed a sincere interest in Ford.
Meaning that Bill "LOOKS LIKE MR. BRAINIAC FINALLY GOT SMART" Cipher destroyed his own chances five seconds before going "no no wait I actually want to keep this one," and that's SO funny. I made a graph!
⭐️ From Lost Legends we know that Ford used to date a siren. In the original Greek mythology, sirens didn't woo sailors by singing prettily; sirens offered knowledge about distant and future events. Sailors wrecked their ship upon the sirens' shores and starved to death at their feet just to listen to them sing about the secrets of the universe.
What I'm saying is: Ford has a type.
⭐️ This is a mutual monsterfucker 4 monsterfucker relationship. They look at each other and go "wow you're such a weird-looking alien" and they're attracted to each other BECAUSE of that, not in spite of that. I don't want any of this "oh how could I be drawn to something so strange..." shame out of Ford, as far as I'm concerned his first crush was Mothra, a floating triangle is nothing.
⭐️ Consequently, this means that if you take an AU where Bill gets stuffed in a human body, rather than making things easier, it ironically means that any PHYSICAL attraction Ford had for Bill instantly evaporates. A humanized Bill could be the sexiest damn thing in the room and everyone else in the vicinity is going 🥵💦 but Ford's going 😐. If they hook up with Bill in a human body it's in spite of Bill's current appearance and it's because Ford knows that, underneath the body, Bill's still Bill. You could hand Ford a perfect Tumblr Sexyman supermodel and he'll be fantasizing about a three-tiered pyramid with more teeth than a shark.
⭐️ Bill WILL play Dungeons Dungeons & More Dungeons with Ford, voluntarily, for fun. However he always wants to DM and he's brutal.
⭐️ I think that the majority of the Henchmaniacs used to be like Ford: young, naive, USEFUL aliens that Bill was trying to manipulate into getting access to their universes, probably by trying to get THEM to build portals. None succeeded, but they got far enough along that either they chose to join Bill, they were forced to flee their dimension and join Bill—or, due to Bill, their home no longer existed, so they might as well join him. I think that every one of them was once his ✨favorite✨ person. I think he sealed the deal in winning their friendship & loyalty with a calculated, scripted display of vulnerability—the exact same one he tried to use on Ford: I liberated my constricting, flat world; I want to liberate yours...
He may have dated some of them, too, especially right after they joined. Because he wouldn't have recruited them unless he thought they were JUST ♥ LIKE ♥ HIM. They're special, they're important...
... and after a few years, Bill realizes they're not that much like him after all and loses interest, and they sink down into the rank-and-file with the rest of the Henchmaniacs. The Henchmaniacs are FULL of people who were once Bill's Favorite—his best friends, his confidants, his lovers—and most of them are desperate to catch his eye and be that important to him again. They gave everything they had to Bill only for Bill to get bored.
So when he shows off the human who enabled Weirdmageddon and invites him to join the gang, they know EXACTLY what they're looking at: Bill's newest favorite. They know how this goes, he'll be gaga over this earthling for the next 5 to 500 years and then Ford will be just another regular Henchmaniac. The fact that Ford doesn't seem eager to join is no problem. Ford isn't the only soon-to-be Henchmaniac whose world Bill ended; some of them had to be talked around into joining, too.
⭐️ I think that, if you took Bill with his canon personality, didn't give him any character development, and then made him GENUINELY fall in love with Ford, and had him SINCERELY try his hardest to be a good, loving, healthy partner... he would still be toxic as hell for Ford.
Part of what draws Bill to Ford is that he sees SO much of himself in Ford—some accurate, some just projection. (You who crave power and fame and fortune like I do; you who also hunger to be all-knowing; you who would also sacrifice your world and your family and everyone you know and love to get what you want; you with an ego the size of the moon, oh, you deserve an ego the size of a star.) And so he assumes that what Ford really wants is what BILL would want in Ford's shoes.
And if Bill was Ford, what he'd want is to REALLY be the man who changed the world. Bill thinks he's fulfilling all Ford's wildest dreams if he gives that to him. Naming Ford the orchestrator of Weirdmageddon is the most generous gift Bill could ever offer.
Even if Bill is Really Really Trying and accepts that okay Ford doesn't want his world invaded: his idea of showing Ford love will be pulling the strings to get Ford fame & fortune. Teach him secrets of the universe that he can publish in a dozen groundbreaking scientific papers, arrange meetings with politicians and celebrities, get him a Nobel, get him an Oscar-winning bio pic, get him a billion dollars, get him EVERYTHING Ford's ever imagined as a marker of success and then double it.
When Bill's manipulating Ford, he offers praise and approval in little drops periodically leaking from the faucet, to keep Ford thirsty for more. When Bill's LOVING Ford, he just breaks the fire hydrant and lets it flood the street.
But the thing is, that's not good for Ford. That'll never make him truly happy. Ford's only ever learned how to measure his success by external markers, but the more external markers he collects the more he'll feel like he hasn't Made It yet. It's even possible that knowing Bill's helped him get this far will make him feel like he hasn't really EARNED it. He could have the whole world handed to him and he'll feel just as dissatisfied as he was on the day he first summoned Bill.
And Bill, even if he's trying his HARDEST to do this right, wouldn't be able to understand why this isn't working. A trillion years old and the only way he knows how to show love (or to receive love) is by showering someone in praise and gifts and favors. If that doesn't work, he doesn't know what's left.
Case 2
The man who made himself into furniture – the human furniture artist
This is a short story from the Satsuriku no Tenshi Fanbook.
Written by Makoto Sanada, translated by me.
Keep reading
I would've added some more characters, but they'd just kinda be reiterating the same thing (also I got lazy)
Random Strange Facts:
Papyrus is the only character to speak without an asterisk
Papyrus’s dialogue shakes on a consistent basis when no one else’s does
Papyrus is described as “forgettable,” something only mentioned elsewhere in context with Goner Kid and Gaster
Papyrus seems to be able to see what the player is looking at when he calls them (”THAT BAG OF DOG FOOD LOOKS FAMILIAR…”)
Papyrus seems to know that MTT has eyes before MTT becomes MTT Ex
Papyrus has a total of 2184 lines in the game—more than any other character, and almost as much as the narrator of the game, which is at 2418 lines. The next closest character is Undyne, with 1268 total lines.
Similar wording is used to describe Papyrus as it is to describe Gaster. (It’s rude to talk about someone who’s listening)
Papyrus’s theme, “Nyeh heh heh/Bonetrousle,” is used in all of the trailers of the game
Papyrus and Sans break the 4th wall in the stream greenlight trailer, which shocks Toriel
Papyrus flies/breaks the laws of physics casually and seemingly on a regular basis
Papyrus is one of the few characters that refers to gameplay mechanics (“PRESS [C] ON THE KEYBOARD FOR DATING HUD!” “HOLD UP LONGER TO JUMP HIGHER, JEEZ!”)
Papyrus says himself that he knows nothing about his hands because he always keeps his gloves on.
There is nothing, nothing known about his past before his showing up to Snowdin. By the end of the game and after some research, you can basically know more about Gaster and Sans than you do about Papyrus, despite him having the most dialogue in the game besides the narrator.
Papyrus has such control over his magic in his fight, that he can make his attacks do zero damage because he refuses to kill the human.
You are healed to full HP right before the Papyrus fight, as well as immediately after if you are captured.
Papyrus doesn’t seem to realize that Frisk is a kid, despite Frisk wearing a striped shirt, which is a common indicator for childhood in monster society. (is he unfamiliar with common monster culture, for some reason?)
Sans reads Papyrus bed time stories on a regular basis, but Papyrus himself never seems to sleep
The Undertale Q&A that Toby Fox did for Undertale’s anniversary revolves around Papyrus
His defense raises in the spare phase of his fight, unlike every other monster. He seems to be able to manipulate his own stats.
Relationships:
The two 4th wall breaking characters (Flowey and the Annoying Dog) seem to have a special interest in Papyrus
Annoying Dog:
Steals bone attacks on two separate occasions (Papyrus fight and aborted Genocide hangout, in which the “special attack” is hinted to be Gaster Blasters)
Steals bones in general on two occasions (Under Papyrus’s sink and during the hangout with Undyne)
Eats Papyrus’s lasagna
Snuggles with Papyrus
Flowey:
Says Papyrus started a “Flowey Fan Club”
Says Papyrus took a long time to get boring on his repeated runs
Asks Papyrus to call Frisk before the True lab, gather everyone together before the True Ending, and probably leave a note in Alphys’ trash can
Flowey is the only one who knows Papyrus’s favorite food, which is dinosaur oatmeal (no, it’s not spaghetti. Papyrus has never eaten it.)
When Flowey attacks the group during the True Pacifist fight, he binds everyone with two vines, except Papyrus–who he binds with four.
Sans (overlooking the bounteous brotherly goodness of the two):
Papyrus lies to him on a consistent basis
This is to probably humor Sans about his level of knowledge?
Papyrus still expects Sans to know more about Papyrus than Papyrus does himself?
Papyrus acts negatively towards Sans’s puns, but then turns around and makes the most (and arguably best) puns in the game out of anyone
Personality:
Doesn’t outwardly acknowledge criticism
According to Sans, he is trash-talked a lot
May have self-worth issues
Extremely blasé about his own death
Doesn’t seem to have friends, despite working very hard to get them
He phrases things in really strange ways. (”UNMANDATE IT SAFER”)
Papyrus staunchly refuses to really hurt people, despite it being very likely that he could be just as hard or harder of a fight than Sans
He has a strong and unshakeable belief that people can change (does he know this from personal experience?)
He hates Grillby’s and Hotland
He is an amazing artist
He considers himself a great chef, even if he doesn’t necessarily eat what he cooks
Quotes:
“DEADLY SPIKES, PRECARIOUS BRIDGES! TRULY THE PILLARS OF YOUTH!”
[when dying] “ALAS, POOR PAPYRUS. [this is quoting Shakespeare while he’s dying] WELL, AT LEAST I HAVE MY HEAD!”
“I WOULD NEVER TAKE A VACATION FOR ANY REASON!”
Undyne: “Papyrus… doesn’t know how to sleep??”
“I WANT TO MEET DEATH!”
“YOU CAN SEE YOUR REFLECTION IN A PUDDLE, BUT… DON’T LET A BODY OF WATER DETERMINE YOUR SELF WORTH!”
“IT’S MY LEAST FAVORITE NIGHTMARE!” – referring to Hotland lasers and conveyors
“A MYSTERIOUS SCIENCE HOUSE. […] LABORADOR-Y?” When talking about Alphys’s lab with Sans present.
“A LAB?? MY BROTHER WOULD LOVE THAT!” –when talking about Alphys’s lab without Sans present.
“ICE CREAM? THANKS, BUT I LIVE IN SNOWDIN! THERE’S ICE CREAM ALL OVER THE GROUND!” –when talking about ice cream when Sans is present.
“I TRIED TO CAPTURE YOU… WHERE’S MY ICE CREAM.” –when talking about ice cream without Sans present.
“STOP LOOKING IN MY EMPTY MAIL BOX. THAT’S MY EMPTINESS, NOT YOURS.”
“I AM A PRETTY BRUTAL KIND OF GUY.”
“HOTLAND! I KNOW IT LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND. WHICH, SINCE I’M ALWAYS WEARING GLOVES… I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT!”
“WELL, IF YOU WANT TO GET SOMEONE TO OPEN UP, YOU SHOULD ENGAGE THEM IN COMBAT! HUM HUM HUM…” – before the Shyren encounter. This is one of the few times where Papyrus actually gives you something helpful, but how does he know?
Links for additional reading/theories(most links to @batter-sempai, @papyrus-knows, and @queenofdragons6 posts and reblogs): Optimism does not make Papyrus naive Papyrus casually breaking laws of physics Strange music (or lack of) in Papyrus’s room Brutal kind of guy screenshots Some disturbing connections Some suspicious screenshots Part 3 of a sans theory where the writer realizes Papyrus is ridiculously mysterious Chara and Papyrus similarities–they’re always smiling! Phone call and 4th wall suspicions Papyrus surprising cynicism Sans and Papyrus dynamic speculation Vague Gaster and Papyrus connection Papyrus’s skewed views on what is safe for kids… possible backstory connection? Another compilation of sketchy Papyrus-y things Insomnia and nightmares More on music and rooms Papyrus creeped out by echo flowers Papyrus and Annoying Dog interactions (there are a surprising amount) Sans and Papyrus dynamic speculation 2 Papyrus: treated like a child Papyrus: nasty words with a huge grin The fodder for many an amnesiac theory Papyrus is literally the skeleton in the closet Papyrus battle mechanics and minor Flowey connections The dude is lonely Theory: is Papyrus Gaster? More Papyrus fighting skill plus reality breaking phone call He’s a gentleman Papyrus doesn’t sleep Undertale Q&A/Papyrus’s favorite food Reference–How many lines each character has in the game Debunking Stupid Papyrus 1 – he knows what death is Debunking Stupid Papyrus 2 – the sink height. Strange, but workable Debunking Stupid Papyrus 3 – “solving” the horoscope Debunking Stupid Papyrus 4 – the lab Debunking Stupid Papyrus 5 – pet rock Debunking Stupid Papyrus 6 – spaghetti
When writing always remember… a character flaw is only a flaw until becomes useful.
Is your protagonist manipulative? Well that’s awful… until they manipulate the antagonist into making a decision that saves the lives of their friends.
Is your protagonist a skeptic? Well that’s not good… until someone tries to lie to them.
Is your protagonist overprotective? That sucks… until someone they love is in danger.
Is your protagonist remorseless? Well that makes them pretty unlikeable… until a hard decision has to be made.
And the Cafe AU.
Rachel is a new cafe employee?!
In a certain city, there’s a cafe called aNGels of death. It has quite strange employees.
Rachel is a new recruit, having been brought in by Danny, the head waiter.
Will the “naive” Ray be able to properly perform her role at the cafe, working alongside the unique waitress and patisserie chef?
aNGels of death
A rookie employee brought in by Danny. Has some things she is inefficient at.
Ray’s senior waiter who was appointed to show Ray the ropes. Popular with customers.
The head waiter. He appears to do his work perfectly, but…
A pastry chef whose work is like artistry. Handles the entire menu on his own.
A senior waitress. Extremely efficient, but has some problems with money…!
The cafe’s manager. Settles problems among his troublesome staff.
Story
In a certain city, there’s a cafe called aNGels of death. It has quite strange employees.
Every Christmas, the cafe is decorated, and is quite popular with customers. The employees wait eagerly to hear what Gray’s plans are this year – but due to problems with the budget, he says there are none!? Whilst everyone is in shock, the newbie Rachel comes up with a proposal…?
Satsuriku no Tenshi Character Profiles
Ray, Zack, Cathy, Eddie, and Danny’s profiles are from Until Death Do Them Part (volume 1).
Gray’s profile is from Blessing in Disguise (volume 2).
Art by Negiyan.
Scans and translation by me.
Messing with files again, I found one thing really interesting thing on Episode 4.
Aparantly, the game had another ending??? Or was supposed to have multiple endings, maybe? Anyway, i found something really interesting, but had to delete that famale conselour of Rachel and find a way to get on the facility without replaying the hole thing.
After that, the normal ending scene starts tho… I really wanted to see an ending with Rachel going after Zack.
An analysis of the funny lil gremlin:
Jevil is a pretty facinating character. He's gotten obviously overshadowed by characters like Spamton. Which is justified as Jevil played an admittedly insignificant role on the plot of chapter 1 and was more confined to his role as a "secret boss" than Spamton, who did play SOME role in the plot (even though he kinda barged into it) and had a much more fleshed out backstory than Jevil. Though the clown man does play a pretty important role in the bigger picture of the game by introducing the theme of freedom in characters other than Kris, and setting the predecent of future secret bosses exploring said themes of freedom.
Jevil's whole "I'm the only one free and everybody else is the one trapped" thing is kinda odd, but it starts to make sense when you really think about it. Gaster, or whoever it was that drove him to insanity most likely gave him some degree of knowledge of the nature of Deltarune. (Or at least a bit MORE knowledge, as even regular darkners seem to be a little aware that their world works on video game logic- ie. the tutorial puzzle guys- Lancer and his sign telling you not to take the darkfruit) This is a videogame. With main characters, npc's, and a set storyline everything is supposed to follow. Everybodies actions are dictated by the plot, the creators, (toby fox) and everything in this world isn't even for the darkners or the lightners. Everything is just for the convinience and enjoyment of some otherworldly being. (the player) Nobody can choose their own fate in this world. Nothing anybody does truly matters because the story will find SOME way to keep going. (take the weird route as a prime example of that)
This knowledge obviously broke Jevil, but his mind rationalized it in an extremely strange way. If nothing he does matters, than that means he could technically do anything. There are no consequences. At least to him. This is what he means by "being free." He is free from the limitations of society, responsibility, morality. This, of course, led to him doing whatever he did to get himself thrown into prison. A prison separated from even the ones in the normal basement.
Though, even faced with obvious consequences, Jevil was way too deep in his insanity. Being stuck in a prison alone defnitely didn't help his mental state either. That's part of what makes Jevil scary in my opinion. He's somebody with absolutely no restraints. He has absolutely nothing to lose and nothing to gain from fighting you. He just does it because he's desperate for SOMETHING to happen after probably years of being stuck and alone.
He represents the joker card (I mean it's pretty obvious, but is there anything actually confirming he's the joker card?) pretty well, with all that said. Obviously there's the whole thing of "being abandoned," as typically for most card games, (there are actually games that require the joker card) the joker is set aside without being used. And also to my knowledge, joker cards can be used for pretty much any purpose you want. They can replace a missing card on a deck, be used in magic tricks, be put in the bottom of the deck to prevent anybody from seeing the bottom card, or even be something like a "skip card," forcing a player to skip their turn. It's specifically because of their lack of functionality and adherence to the 4 suites of the deck that they are able to [I CAN DO ANYTHING!] I found that pretty cool.
I also find it interesting that Spamton seems to have the exact opposite mindset as Jevil. Jevil probably(?) didn't have to struggle too much to get his position as court Jester. Even before he went crazy, he most likely always was just a little goofball who just happened to get the attention of the king with his antics. In contrast, Spamton most defnitely struggled a lot to even keep himself afloat - Wondering why all the other addisons seem to be doing fine, when he was (probably) doing the exact same thing. (at least before gaster/the mysterious entity) He was most likely given the same knowledge the entity gave Jevil, and he absolutely hated it. He actively tried to fight against it, unlike Jevil who basically embraced the idea of a world where your choices don't matter and used it as an excuse to do whatever the hell he wants. Spamton didn't want to be confined to a story. This... game. He desperately wanted freedom, and he would do anything to get it. Even when he failed he would keep trying. After all, perseverence did let him become a big shot, even for a little while, so he just had to keep trying... right? Uhh... this wasn't supposed to be a Spamton analysis, but I just found that contrast cool.
All in all, Jevil and Spamton set a really interesting precedent for the future secret bosses and I'm excited to find out how toby fox handles the next one and how that boss will tie in to the whole freedom theme.
Help why did I immediately think Ray when I saw this-
(The full cover slapped tho)
Current fixations: Noel the Mortal Fate, Angels of Death(My AoD obsession will never die)
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