I'm Trying To Figure Out More About Tumblr Right Now By Posting A Bunch Of Random Things, So Here's A
I'm trying to figure out more about Tumblr right now by posting a bunch of random things, so here's a story from my childhood;
I live really close to a creek, and I spent a lot of time around there as a kid. There was this one specific little pool that had a waterfall feeding into it that my friends and I really loved. It was only a few blocks away, so we'd always go there a bunch on hot summer days.
There were two spots you could use if you wanted to do a jump into the water instead of wading into it. One was a little rocky ledge about 3 feet above some deeper water. It was really perfect to do little plunges off of. 10/10 very fun. The other spot however, was this short and slanted overhang that stood about 6 feet above some shallow rocky water. If you wanted to jump off it you had to make an effort to jump out into the deeper area so you wouldn't break your legs landing on sharp rocks.
One day when I was about 9 or 10, I was at this pool with two of my friends, their dogs, and one of their parents. We were playing around and taking turns jumping off the overhang. I was a fairly unathletic kid, and it always took me a moment to prepare myself to be able to jump out far enough as to not land on the rocks. One of my friends was keeping lookout since the dogs were running around and playing with each other. She gave me the all clear and I ran toward the ledge, but I hesitated just long enough that the dogs had moved from their position farther away and had begun chasing each other. Next thing I know, they come in and sweep my legs out from under me. I hit the ground and start sliding across the rocky surface of the overhang.
Despite this ledge being only about six feet above the water, the rocks underneath were sharp and I was also quite weak and fragile at that age, so that knowledge combined with the adrenaline made me totally convinced I was about to fall to my death. (I probably would've just broken a bone or got a nasty cut or something, but ten year old brain full of adrenaline wasn't thinking the most logically) I was holding onto this tiny plant for dear life while slowly sliding farther down every time I tried to reorient myself to get back up. As a result of all the wet children dripping water all over when jumping off, it was very slippery.
My friend notices how I'm panicking and unable to get up and asks me if I need help. I was a very socially anxious child, and hated the idea of burdening anyone. So as I am sliding down this ledge, convinced I'm about to die, I hear my friend ask if I need help. My dumbass said no. I was lucky that she ignored me and pulled me up by my shoulders regardless. I find it kind of hilarious that despite being absolutely terrified, I still thought it would be better to fall and get injured than just ask for help.
I got out of it with just some scratches on my lower back, and I never told my parents because I knew they would freak out and never let me go there again. Still haven't told them to this day lol.
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My LEAST FAVORITE type of question as a theatre kid is the ones that are obviously just meant to prove that others are doing something wrong.
"So do we put our hands like this or like this?" "This is the right way." "Okay, I thought so but I saw SOME PEOPLE doing it the other way and I was pretty sure that wasn't right"
I don't mean when it's like a clarifying thing that nobody is sure about and has never been specified before and everyone is doing something different or something you yourself are struggling with or unsure about.
But when it's entirely obvious that just a few people made a mistake and did the wrong thing and they seem to know it was wrong and will fix it next time... just why?
It pisses me off so much especially now after I've done performing stuff for a while because I remember the intense shame I would feel when a castmate would openly be criticizing a mistake that only I made, in the form of asking a question. I almost quit choir freshman year because the person who sat next to me did that so often and was so judgemental that I felt like I wasn't welcome at my current skill level (the same skill level that a lot of the choir was at).
Honestly, I'm a strong believer of letting the director/instructor point out mistakes and fix them, or asking for help with mistakes you made or things that you are unsure about. Be kind to people with less experience or there might be nobody left to continue once you graduate.
I guess it wasn't as shitty as I thought. I got a 100% and the teacher emailed my parents to tell them she was impressed...
That wouldn't have happened if I used AI though, would it?
Did I have to rush my essay? Yes. Did I turn it in 10 minutes before midnight when it was due? Yes. Did I proofread it? No. Did I probably fuck it up at least a bit? Yeah. Did I get a good grade? We'll see.
But at least I didn't use AI. I wrote a good, genuine, shitty essay, instead of getting a program to write a shitty essay for me that would probably be easily flagged as AI.
WRITE SHITTY ESSAYS!!! A BAD GRADE FROM TRYING IS BETTER THAN A ZERO FROM GETTING CAUGHT USING AI!!!
Just had the random urge to make a post while watching Howl's Moving Castle in school. So here's a post. We ran out of things to do so we're watching Howl's Moving Castle.
'I want to go on a walk or ride my bike!'
*remembering that it's cold as fuck outside and I'm already in pain and very fatigued*
'Actually I'm not gonna do that nevermind'
it’s so funny when people are like “being nice is free” and “kindness costs nothing” and then they are the worst fucking person you have ever met
There are no words that I could ever use to fully describe how much I hate the US healthcare system.
I'm a teenager. I should be worrying about the grade I'm gonna get on my math test, not if asking to go to the doctor for the excruciating pain in my legs will make it so my family can't afford food.
I shouldn't be feeling guilty for going to the hospital for mental health care four times two years ago. I should feel happy that I'm in a better place because I've made progress, not because it means I won't make my parents spend money on that anymore.
I should be able to be a teenager. I'd love a life without health issues, but I know that's not possible. What is possible is a world where I can focus on getting better without even thinking twice about asking for care. A world where people don't end up dying because they can't afford treatment. A world where I'm worried about my condition because it's not good for me, not because I don't want my family to struggle financially.
This is one of said poems. Written in a week-long writing class for the prompt 'what I want my words to do to you' have read it to a crowd twice, both times at least one person cried. Could also be my naturally sad yelpy tone though idk.
Somehow almost all my poems make people cry. So either I'm:
One: a bad poet but my stories are sad enough that I can make people cry through bad poetry
Two: a good poet with stories that are just kinda sad but can be manipulated with words into beautiful poems that make people cry
Three: a good poet with sad stories that are enhanced through poetry to make people cry
Or four: a bad poet with stories that aren't sad and people are just crying because they feel bad that I'd choose to read them bad poetry
Either way, every time I read a poem to an audience, it seems like at least one person will cry or tell me they almost cried and had to actively hold themselves back.
Don't know exactly what to make of this. My poems are usually about my bad life experiences though, so I guess that probably plays a role.
There is nothing more powerful and with less disregard to their own well-being than a girl trying to finish a crochet project on a time crunch
The Beast, as they say, is Love. Good Morning.
I have absolutely no idea what this blog will hold. random thoughts? art? stories? probably just whatever comes to mind. you can call me Iris. she/her
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