I Don’t Want A ROMANTIC PARTNER. I Want A DEAR FRIEND I Can Use As A HUMAN WEIGHTED BLANKET

lambie scale, by me

this was basically the prison arc right

idk how to flirt but i can make things awkward if you're into that

Thinking about how Day 1 of the egg event, as soon as Phil and Missa paired up, they immediately hit it off.

Thinking about how they spent the entire first day locked the absolute fuck in, watching Chayanne like a hawk, teaching him things, spoiling him with a pool and music and crops and armor, communicating with each other seamlessly whether it was in English or Spanish.

Thinking about the way Phil lit up like a Christmas tree hearing Missa play guitar and sing.

Thinking about how even once their schedules completely desynced, they left each other doodles and notes and gifts, or talked to Chayanne, Crows, or Missasaurios about each other.

Thinking about how not ONCE did Phil ever get upset *at* Missa for being absent. About how he'd lament he missed him instead.

Thinking about how quickly Goddess of Death took to Missa and immediately hit the He Has Two Hands button about her husband.

Thinking about how fiercely Phil would defend Missa whenever it came up, regardless of who brought him up.

Thinking about how quick Phil was to do his best to catch Missa up to speed about chaos on the island.

Thinking about how Phil never once indulged Missa's guilt about being absent, insisting he never moved out, that he was family, that they were (platonically) married, that Missa more than deserved him and the kids.

Thinking about how at the events where Missa wasn't there, Phil at some point would mention wishing he was around or wanting to show him pictures.

Thinking about how if Missa showed up in anything showed on movie nights, Phil would light up the same way he did when Missa would play music or sing.

Thinking about how Missa could be SO out of the loop, but the first person he'd go to, cling to, and/or think about would be Phil and Chayanne.

Thinking about how Missa had one-sided romantic feelings about Phil, never got to roleplay out any of it *with* Phil, and STILL q!Phil knew q!Missa was in love with him, and never expressed anything negative about it.

Thinking about how no matter how much time passed since they last saw each other, Phil always called Missa his (platonic) husband.

Thinking about Phil getting possessive of Missa towards Bagi.

Thinking about Missa instantly welcoming Lullah into the family.

Thinking about "My Missa."

I'm not aromantic, but thank you ccPhil and ccMissa for (unintentionally or not) giving people such a healthy and sweet QPR-coded relationship, even when you couldn't stream together.

I dont know guys .. i dont think he'll get his crown back :(

Thinking about Missa getting jealous over other people flirting with Philza but then going all "but I get it. If he choose them, I will leave. It's okay." vs Phil's "if you ever dare to even think you can ask him out I'm gonna kill you"

wilbur, bringing in someone he trusts because they’re stronger than he is and he’s shit at pvp:

tommy, a 16 year old appreciating that in a war he has a reliable older figure to put his trust in:

c!techno: wow you guys only saw me as a weapon also trying to blow people up and never acting on it? fucked up man (scoots the times he actively shot at people, set withers on them, rains tnt on their homes and sicks dogs on them, not to mention the fact he was literally in on wilbur’s original plan to blow everyone up, he literally said he’d set off withers)

wilbur: yeah it was pretty horrible of me for planning it then regretting my actions and going back on them :( i definitely used you and it’s not at all reasonable to ask someone for help for someone stronger in the situation i was in :( it’s not like you didn’t give a shit about me as a person either and completely ignored my shit mental health and was completely on board with my actions until they reflected badly on you afterwards where you denounced me and said i was “evil” despite being just as willing to go along with the tnt plan but also doing far more damage than i did :( but no i said you were the traitor bc we’d planned for you to set off withers when i set off the tnt and lo and behold, there you were setting off withers like we’d planned so im 100 times worse than you :( 

More Emduo but Epic musical stuff

cult member: hey leader can I kiss you?

lamb: no thanks! I'm saving these lips for the kiss of death

Narinder, from the Lambs side: the kiss of what now

10 Bishop's relic