Jashtober Day 9: Cruisin'
Jashtober day 9: Cruisin'
Maybe it’ll be ok for now. The war feels fresh, but perhaps it never existed at all. Maybe it did exist, but it doesn't matter now. I’m alright. The world is composed. Everything around me makes sense. Exactly as it should. I wonder if I’m a new person after all this time. When I first played this song my context was completely different. The way I told the story was of a different style and experience. I find myself hesitating to even attempt it once more. If I am a new person, will even trying it feel wrong. If I’m not a new person, will it just be derivative slop? Why am I even attempting this? Wait, that's exactly what I need to remember. Why I am doing this. The world feels manageable and understandable. The horrors aren’t close and the stars are in grabbing distance. The world is just as it needs to be. I may be revisiting this, but I have new understanding to bring. And I may be changing the synth for jazz, but I’m not a completely new person just because some has changed. Whatever comes of this has come from me. It’ll be not perfect, but it will be mine.
More Posts from Katindeed and Others
Okay, so this is the most niche thing ever, but my friend @caywall is big into this band named Yardact (I also enjoy quite a bit of their songs), and he was curious about any potential connection between them and Chonny. So now this exists in the world. The two other fans of both Chonny and Yardact are freaking out right now.
Pelted by an image in my brain I needed to draw
Pride month writing thing (specifically transfem :3)
The small droplets of water ran down my cheek. From the water radiated comfort. Not a release of dismay but of elation. My watered eyes, for the first time in what feels longer than my memory can withstand, wept tears of joy and not repression, or pain or stress or anything like that. In the mirror I do not see a hurt sad boy, but a strong brave woman. Despite all the hate she got. Despite all the friends and family she sadly left behind. Despite the countless doctor appointments that felt like they went nowhere. Despite the anxiety of going out dressed in a way that felt real and right. Despite the nonsense politics. Despite her own lack of faith she would or even could survive. Despite everything she stood happy and proud. Through all the change I could still see the person I once was, the once sad boy. From the boy I saw not fear but relief. Despite what my parents had told me, I had not killed the boy. The boy was never real. The boy was nothing more than a mask and after all this time there stood the person who was always underneath. The girl smiled. I smiled. Happy pride month.
I've been re-listening to "not perfect," and it's literally so good. I don't know how to properly express it. Like this song feels so deeply personal yet relatable. I might have a new favorite Chonny song after remembering this absolute gem
Cowards, think of the gaming channel /j
He kept talking about selling out in the QnA a year ago so-
Pros:
• Gaming channel
• CCCC Simmish cover
Cons:
• Less songs
• Probably worse songs
I got one of my friends to match with me in Discord. Him as mind and me as heart, and I've never been happier
Fire art
This one goes out to my biggest fan @vinniemitchell
What happened to him:
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katindeed reblogged this · 7 months ago
she/her :) I acknowledge my flaws, which in a way shows my perfection. Pfp by @saturn-rays
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