I used to think I was tough, but then I realized I wasn’t. I was fragile and I wore thick fucking armor. And I hurt people so they couldn’t hurt me. And I thought that was what being tough was, but it isn’t.
James Frey
© JKONTOP | Do not edit. (1, 2)
KIAN: hey i’m comin to pick you up 😉 KIAN: a new sushi place opened downtown KIAN: & don’t even try to tell me u don’t like sushi KIAN: u can’t swerve me this time
◈ yeeyee
when kian gets past the point of drunk, teetering ever so lightly on hammered, he gets a little clingy, a little giggly, and a lot honest. it’s really a recipe for disaster. somewhere in his foggy mind, he knows this and his subconscious is screaming at him to just go home. but he doesn’t listen. “can i stay with you tonight?” he practically whines, arms wrapped around moonsu’s neck as he hangs off of him. he knows he’ll say yes, but he pouts anyway. it’s dangerous to be in this position when you’re not an entirely honest person, but it’s freeing. which is something that kian very rarely feels these days. “we can do whatever you want.” he sings, pressing his nose against the boy’s cheek. he kisses the soft skin there then presses another to the corner of his mouth.
dropping one hand from around his neck, he lets it trail over his chest then circles around and hops on moonsu’s back without permission. “you’re so nice, susu.” he compliments, nuzzling his nose behind the other’s ear. “i wish you weren’t, i wish you were mean. then maybe i wouldn’t feel so bad every time we’re together.” he confesses, closing his eyes as he leans all of his body weight on him. “everything would be a lot easier if you just hated me.” he mumbles. “i’m not supposed to feel bad, i never do. but you’re just so … nice.” he repeats again. “stop being nice, seriously.” he chastises. “so when i hurt you, i won’t feel guilty.”
“another one! hell yeah this game is my fucking BITCH!” casper exclaimed, throwing his long arms in the arm in celebration. casper was a very athletic person in general, so tossing a ball at stacked milk jugs was child’s play. he quickly apologized to the carny in charge of restacking bottles, feeling somewhat guilty for clearing house of prizes. sure, it was 3 plushies thus far but casper was a competitive soul. once he found something he was good at, he was wiling to milk it for all it had. no pun intended.“anyone want a plushie? it’s on me. i already have two.” he called out to anyone who he’d startled with his ridiculously loud celebration.
kian wants to rip his hair out strand by strand, not being built to withstand the kind of activity that comes with events like this. sure, his facade slips easily into place these days, but it’s so exhausting to keep up with for long periods of time and with so many different people. still, he humors those around him and forces a smile onto his face. “you’d have a great future in the olympics if only they had the milk bottle game.” he teases with a small smile, popping a piece of cotton candy into his mouth. it’s all a little too sugary for his taste, but he loves the way it melts on his tongue. “oh, wow? a plushie? for free? so generous.” he continues in a joking manner, craning his neck to check out the row of prizes. he’ll probably toss it the moment he gets the chance, but he’ll take it anyway. hell, he could even re-gift it to moonsu or something. “i want that one.” he points, his finger angled at the bunny. “you good at any other games, carnival boy? maybe we could make it into a little challenge.”
annya was barley following the movie if she were to be honest, but it was something mind numbing for them to watch as they tried to wait out this terrible snowstorm. at least he was with her, the two cuddling close and simply enjoying each other’s company. to her, that was enough. she nods as he leaves to make some more popcorn, her eyes following him for a moment before glancing back at the t.v. sure, she’s had a few relationships in the past during high school, and while they were great, she knew they wouldn’t last forever. the connection she made with them wasn’t as strong as she believed it should be. however, when it came to kian, something felt…different. she was falling for him, quite hard, and suddenly their relationship was starting to reach places she’s never explored before. was she terrified? absolutely, yet kind of excited as well. she’s now starting the rest of her life, and she didn’t mind if she got lucky in finding someone sooner than she thought.
she hums softly into his kiss before shrugging her shoulders, “you’re right, i haven’t really been paying attention.” she admits with a small blush that only worsens with his cute little line, causing her to bury her face into his shoulder for a moment with a quick laugh. looking back up at him, she steals another kiss, or three, before turning off the t.v completely. “hm…well there’s always a few video games we can play. you can’t go wrong with mairo kart, right? or there’s some board games i have some where…” she turns her head to look around for a moment, trying to remember where she put them before facing him once more. “or i can always make you another costume,” she teases with a light laugh before moving to straddle his lap, her arms hanging loosely around his neck as she kisses his forehead, than cheek, than lips once more. “what sounds good to you?”
he slips back into place beside her easily, fitting his arm behind her again, and it’s like all those movies where they claim to be puzzle pieces. it really is like they were made for each other. but kian knows that isn’t true. he was never meant to be happy, never meant to be with someone. he doesn’t deserve it. but she makes him feel like he does. “board games?” he repeats with a quirk of his brow. “are you sixty or five? i can’t tell.” he teases. but all rational thought flies out of his mind when she moves to straddle him and his hands immediately settle on her waist. she just fits so perfectly against him that it should be illegal. he shouldn’t be allowed to have her. especially not like this. but he still takes and takes because he’s selfish. he’ll keep her for however long it takes for her to realize that he’s a monster. “hm.” he hums, eyes closing as she peppers sweet kisses on his face and lips.
“what were we talking about again?” he smiles, pressing his lips to hers a little harder. he doesn’t dare deepen it before he’s pulling away again. and it’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he’s not trying to push her. for once in his life, he’s actually thinking about someone else before himself. surely he deserves some kind of award. “we could just do this? i’m good with that.” he suggests, unable to stop smiling. and not one of the fake ones either, this one is genuine. “or we could go sledding, i guess? i’m not really sure what people do during snowstorms.” he admits. “this is my first one. don’t get much snow in california. or, you know, any other kind of weather besides constant sunshine.” he explains. “tragic, i know. truly a first world problem.” he says, letting his hands fall slightly to rest just below her hips as his thumbs rub her thighs gently.
jiwon can literally feel the annoyance fill her body as the realization of just who has knocked into hits her. it was no secret that jiwon was a touch person, it didn’t take a lot to set her off. but, when it came to kian ko her annoyance practically radiated off of her. despite being involved in separate sports the pair still have a bit of an athletic rivalry going on, not that she consider being a mere football player anywhere near her level. she is quick to play off the run in taking a few steps back he chest heaving, she’d be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that kian was solid and the collision slightly knocked the wind out of her. the scowl that had already begun to taint her features deepened at his words, the line between her eyebrows deepening especially at the world ‘scrawny’. it touched a nerve with her, her whole track career her size had haunted her. “i’m not scrawny,” she couldn’t help scoff out immaturely as her arms crossed tightly in front of her. it wasn’t her best comeback and she already knew he would rip her a new one for those three words.
the challenge of a run peaked her interest as her eyebrows quirked up, “you think you a buffoon who plays with balls all day can beat me?” the words come out a feigned sense of disbelief behind them. her teeth grind together at his next words. kian knew exactly how to get riled up and insulting her in the only thing that mattered to her was a sure fire way to do that. her jaw clenched as she took a step closer to him, “clearly you were at the wrong match,” she managed to get out slightly cooler then she expected, “because if you were at my meet you would know i got first in all sprits,” her head cocked to the side, eyes narrowing on him. “i don’t lose,” she slowly after a short pause for the dramatics of it all, “can’t say the same about your last game though,” her lips pursed for moment, “what was that score again?”
he thinks the girl may actually deck him if he laughs at her words, but he just can’t help it. the way she says them is just so hilariously childish and seems to have come straight out of a feel good movie. “there’s nothing wrong with being scrawny.” he assures her. “you just gotta own it. i mean, you kinda rock it ... i guess.” he shrugs. “i’d be more worried about your comeback game cause, i mean—” he whistles, “it’s not doing so hot.” he points out. “did we really collide that hard? next thing you know you’ll be actually being nice to me. maybe we can go for a bite to eat even.” he smiles. their banter is fun and, even though it doesn’t give him the same satisfaction as playing with his other toys does, he still enjoys it. it’s different. in a good way. refreshing even in some aspects. “i can’t be the only one feeling the sexual tension.” he teases.
his smile only widens when she hits him with an icy retort. he knows he’s suppose to be pretend kian around people, but she really brings out the other side of him. that’s not his fault, really. “you can get first and still not be particularly good. just means you’re better than the people you were up against.” he points out. “it just seemed like you were distracted. maybe you got broken up with or something, how am i to know? it was coming from a place of concern, honest.” he says, placing his hand over his heart. when she tries to come back at him with the score of the last game, he can only roll his eyes. “football doesn’t mean that much to me.” he replies. “plus, i scored nearly every point in that game. it kinda goes along with that whole just because you win doesn’t mean you’re the best and just because you lose doesn’t mean you’re the worst. it’s all about circumstance.”
SEOJUN: one of us has to be the responsible one, but know it’s out of love!! SEOJUN: it’s impossible to be too nice to you, you deserve all the niceness in the world SEOJUN: that’s what you want me to think, huh?? :( SEOJUN: fineeee fine. if you sayyyy so SEOJUN: like anything you want!! SEOJUN: or whatever i want if you’re feeling adventurous 😊
KIAN: be responsible some other time 😕 KIAN: you really think so? KIAN: c’mon do you think that i’d lie to you? KIAN: anything?? thats dangerous territory KIAN: why don’t we just skip out on this week KIAN: forget our classes forget our responsibilities KIAN: we can go on a mini road trip