Dude I Feel So Conflicted Cause Ive Been Depressed As Hell And Was Gonna Go To The Movies With My Friend

Planned to b/p today but I literally have no desire to eat why am I kind of disappointed

My family just told me that we are moving back down to my hometown in June. I’m so upset Ive worked so hard to establish my life and support system up here and now I’m going to lose it all, and there is barely any mental health services back there. I am now even more determined to lose enough weight to be hospitalised within the next 3 months so I can stay here longer. They can’t take me back, I won’t let them.

I’ve gotten so lazy and lenient with myself lately no wonder I’ve been binging so much, come back honeymoon phase you left me so soon 🙏🙏

I don’t want to go to work I just wanna sleeep ☹️☹️

Introduction

ׂ╰┈➤ Hello! My name is Kassidy / Kas and I use they/them pronouns.

I restrict / binge and purge through laxatives.

I’ve been lurking for a couple years now on and off, too afraid to post anything due to the fact I am undiagnosed.

I have been engaging is disordered eating behaviours for many years now, but feel uncomfortable labelling myself as having an eating disorder or anorexia until I’ve lost enough weight to get diagnosed. (Imposter syndrome be damned).

I want to use this blog now to connect with other disordered people as the loneliness that comes with these behaviours has become unbearable, and document said behaviours and progress as I work towards reaching my ugw.

Mutuals are welcomed and encouraged, and DM’s are always open <3

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I am sixteen (08) and 170cm.

Current weight: 53kg (bmi 18.3)

Goal weight 1: 48kg (bmi 16.6)

Goal weight 2: 42kg (bmi 14.5)

Ultimate Goal weight: 38kg (bmi 13.1)

Block don’t report please!!

I used to love baking before I relapsed, I really miss it. Hopefully one day, if I finally get sick enough to deserve recovery, I can start doing it again.

Rewarding myself with getting my nails done when I reach 48kg !! I want them done so bad I need to lose 5kg asap

There is so much I want to eat but changing my OMAD routine feels so scary ☹️

Honestly so excited for school starting tomorrow, I love the routine and it gives me something to do and think about besides my disordered eating :)

Hello !!

Does anyone know how many calories would be in 1 slice of this sourdough? I’ve been putting it into lose it as 136 but I’m worried I’m underestimating.