Y’all I Can’t Believe It I’m Only 1.2kg Away From My Gw, ITS SO CLOSE I COULD VERY WELL BE AT MY

BMI 18.1 IM SO CLOSE TO BEING UNDERWEIGJT BMI 17 LET ME INNNN

Why the fuck didn’t I just go to sleep I had a mini binge on fucking noodles and mini Easter eggs now I’m at roughly 800 cals for the day and I just want more

GUESS WHO WOKE UP UNDER 50KG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR, CAN I HEAR A ROUND OF APPLAUSE !! (I’m so happy I could cry)

Managed to shoot all the way from 50.7kg to 51.5 overnight, I feel so discouraged. I’m never binging again.

I’m switching up one of my meals and oh my god I’m shaking I’m so stressed because it’s not pre packaged and I don’t have a food scale at the moment so I’ll have to estimate/use other more unreliable measuring tools and I’ve never had it before so it might be ass but it’s so expensive and I’d feel bad for wasting it AHHHHH

Gonna stick to my plan today and if I make it to 50kg by tomorrow I shall celebrate with a hot cross bun and milk ^^

It just hit me that I don’t want recovery, I just want to be happy.

And I know that recovery won’t change anything, eating won’t cure me of my depression so what’s the point. I don’t know how to feel now to be honest, I’ve romanticised getting sick enough to recover for so long because I thought it would bring that happiness but it won’t so now I don’t know what to do. I think that’s why I’ve been so suicidal lately, because I know deep down I’m just gonna be miserable forever no matter what I do so what’s the point in living at all.

GUYS I MADE IT INTO THE BMI 17’S LETS GOOO 💪💪

Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with exercise guilt? I’m liquid fasting and too exhausted to get even 10k steps today when I usually get 20k a day and it’s killing me, I’ve tried my hardest to at least burn off the calories from my energy drink but at this point I don’t even have the energy to stand up for more than a couple minutes at a time.

I’ve bee stuck in 53kg jail for the past 3 days now despite consistently getting 20k steps, eating under 600 calories and abusing the hell out of laxatives. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can get out of this plateau? I’m thinking of just fasting until the number drops.