Okay, Real Advice For Newcomers Who To Participate In The Tumblr Social Sphere?

Color Guard pick up lines (feel free to add more if you know more)

You make my heart dropspin

I'll let you in my toaster

I'll strip for you

Are you a drum major? Cause I've been watching you all day.

I'll guard you with all my heart

Do you want to see me dance with my pole?

Trust me, I can barely remember what I had for breakfast this morning, must less what age I was my freshman year of high school

did you know there are bisexual flowers and they’re perfect

Who You Should Fight: Marching Band Edition

piccolo

who wins: them

don’t do it.  don’t fight the piccolo player.  just don’t.

flute

who wins: them

they were told you were challenging them for first chair. run while you still can.

clarinet

who wins: them

threaten you with their register key.  forfeit for the sake of all.

saxophone

who wins: them

you are promptly deemed a “nerd” and stuffed in a band locker by the entire section even though you only wanted to fight one of them.

low reeds

who wins: no one

 you yell increasingly bad sexual innuendos at each other across the band room for twenty minutes until you both get tired and go home.

mellophone

who wins: them

punches you in the face repeatedly on the offbeats of a sousa march playing in the background.

trumpet

who wins: you and then them

you win the fight easily while they’re giving their villainous monologue.  entire trumpet section later jumps you in a dark hallway for disgracing one of their own.

trombone

who wins: no one

they get distracted halfway through the fight and wander off.

low brass

who wins: them

you mock them by making farting noises with your lips.  they punch you in the stomach with their abnormally strong arms.  you can’t breath properly for days.

pit percussion

who wins: you

pretend like you can’t tell the vibes, marimba, and xylophone apart.  wait until they’re blind with rage, then run them over with the closest wheeled pit equipment.

drumline

who wins: them

show up to the fight with a shank fashioned out of a broken drum stick.  proceed to kick ass.

drum major

who wins: them

calls you to attention (you can’t disobey!) and then waits until you faint from exhaustion.

color guard

who wins: them

have you ever watched one of these fuckers on the field?  you’re screwed.

band director

who wins: them

just when you think you’ve won, they get up smiling and say “one more time!”

Just saw someone ask what fanfiction.net is,,,,,some of you didn’t go through the hell of trying to connect your DSi to the internet at a family members house, just so you could read teen wolf fanfiction on that hell site in peace, and it shows.

I laughed so fucking hard at this

when hayao miyazaki said that true love was two people inspiring each other to live…recognizing just how hard living is, putting one foot in front of the other every day, how easy it is to lose our passion for it…… that’s the real shit

The Sections At 1 AM The Night Before A Competition

flutes/piccolos: asleep scattered across the floor of someone's bedroom wearing matching sweatpants.

clarinets: moodily playing pokémon

alto saxophones: all at walmart separately because they all think they're the ones responsible for treat bags and forgot until now. never see each other and each get like ten treat bags the next morning. confused but happy.

low reeds: finding more ways to hide dirty jokes on their section hoodies.

trumpets: practicing their "marching face" in the mirror to make it suitably focused and serious yet smoldering.

mellophones: trying to figure out how to attach a large sign to their instrument that says "it's a mellophone, not an exceptionally large trumpet." they are doomed to fail and the masses remain uneducated.

trombones: frantically trying to fix their instrument from attempting to pop to the box in their bedroom with the slide as far down as possible and slamming into the ceiling.

baritones/euphoniums: reflecting bitterly on all the times the tubas have upstaged them. vow to never let it happen again.

tubas/sousaphones: standing in front of a mirror trying to figure out precisely which angle at which to tip their beret to look the most roguish.

pit percussion: still loading their equipment on the band truck even though they started after school; one of them is missing for no reason.

drum line: performing a ritual sacrifice.

color guard: already doing their hair. still almost don't get done in time.

drum majors: practicing their salute 40,098 times, then making sure they don't "stand weird" while conducting.

The idea of Luke coming up with his impression of Din solely from what Grogu tells him before they meet again is hilarious to me because

Grogu, probably: my dad is so cool and smart and calm and good at fighting and a great pilot and

Din in real life: