Like-luke-likes - Like-Luke-Likes

why hasn’t anyone offered my parents 5 camels for my hand in marriage yet what am i doing wrong

me, under a blanket: oh warm?

THEY JUST KEEP JUMPING ON THE COUNTER. AND CRAWLING UP HER LEG. THIS IS THE GREATEST PROBLEM YOU COULD EVER HAVE

action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him

Pepe the Frog: To Sleep, Perchance to Meme.

Matt Furie, Pepe’s original creator, draws his 2016 nightmare.

Me on a date: fuck, i forgot my purse!!

Them: thats ok, i’ll pay for you 

Me shoving bread sticks down my shirt: you dont understand! 

evVERY TIME SOMEONe FOLLOWS ME I JUSt imagine them like