Me In The Middle Of The Night Feeling Suddenly Productive: Tomorrow Is The Day I Start Getting My Life

So ,I’m a music teacher and every year we have what are called “walk through observations”. Basically, this means that 4 times a year the principal or vice principal comes into my class to assess my teaching. Fine. Sure. No problem. Well, today I was doing an activity with my 1st graders called “Musical Groceries”. Basically, they make up a fake shopping list and then together we figure out what the rhythm of the words on the list is. To do that, a small group of students plays the beat on the conga drum while the rest of the students move around the room while chanting the word. It sounds weird but it’s a great way for the kids to figure out the relationship between syllables and rhythm. They quickly get bored of walking the rhythm so I let them come up with their own ways of moving around the room.( skipping, hopping, etc) One student suggested they hop around the room like frogs, way down low to the ground. Okay fine. Or it was fine until my vice principal walked in to do my observation only to find 20 seven year olds hopping around the room like a hoard of little hob-goblins, rhythmically chanting “BREAD! BREAD! BREAD!” while five other kids played ominous beats in a drum circle. I have never seen anyone look so confused in my life and I really don’t want to know the rating I got on my observation.

So my mom told me to record a song for her. She didn’t give specific instructions like what kind of song and she didn’t tell me not to fool around while singing, so there.. now’s my chance to do some impressions

(by order)

Britney Spears

Vanessa Hudgens

Angelica Pickles

Raven

Isabella

Bubbles

Scuttle

My dad’s GPS

Me

Next time a conspiracy theorist tries to tell you ‘what really happened’, present a more outlandish theory and accuse them of covering up the truth.

still here, finally someone references your hole 

wait I think I’m actually here for this

james cameron: what’s the best way to adapt a manga lads. it’s by digitally giving the main character giant ass eyes like in the Japanese Style right. right fellas

Can a ghost and a zombie come from the same person?

user: tittie

tumblr:  STOP! You violated the law. Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit.

The News will try their HARDEST to avoid admitting acts of racism.

Closed caption:

reporter: We’ll never know why he shot those people.

Killer: fam i just wanted to kill black people

Reporter: his motives and reasoning will always be unknown.

Killer: dang maybe she can’t…. BLACK PEOPLE I WANTED TO KILL PLACK PEOPLE

REPORTER: Maybe it was an attack on christianity

Killer: My only problem with God is that He made black people.

Reporter: let’s not jump to the conclusion that this was about race.

Killer: NEGROEEES……THE NIGLETSS…….AFRICAN AMERICANNS

Reporter: We Don’t know what that means

Killer :Dark Brown individuals from the African Diaspora

Reporter: but its not just a black issue

Killer: UPPP GIMME THE MIC. I’M RACIST

The thing about the “and they were roommates” girl is I bet she really did just say something truly wild or explosive that totally warranted the unbelieving “and they were roommates”