Unfortunately, The Batfamily Is Used To Weird Shit, And They Presume That Some Magic User Made Them Forget

"It doesn't work like that for me, I could get ARRESTED,"

"Jail is temporary, death is forever,"

"Easy for you to say, you're the Grim Reaper,"

"Sounds like a skill issue, tbh,"

"Did you just say tbh OUT LOUD?!"

“If you kill a killer the number of killers stays the same.” “Just kill two, hell i killed like 17 today.”

rereading my own fic and every single line is hitting because i wrote it specifically to cater to my extremely particular interests

Another Rebooted AU! This time, the TimTim AU!

((I never watched the Young Justice Cartoon but I cherry picked aspects of that universe for this AU, so it won’t be 100% like the show.)) 

A month before his first official outing as Robin, Tim is home alone, studying in his room when he notices a bright light in the corner of this eyes. Before he can turn to see what it is, searing pain ignites in his chest. It feels like someone is prying open his ribcage and shoving something inside, something warm and soft. It’s the last thing Tim remembers before passing out in a heap on his floor.

Unconscious, Tim is greeted with the sight of someone standing before him. It’s an older, more experienced version of himself, one who has endured years of turmoil and hardship. He looks exhausted, seemingly using the last bit of his strength to just simply exist.

“I have no were else to go.” His older self whispers. “Can I stay here?”

Somehow, he understands immediately what is being asked and smiles. He reaches out his with his hand and grabs the elder’s own. “Of course you can stay.”

—– 

-Older Tim’s universe (DC comics universe) is utterly annihilated, and his soul is left wandering the void until he stumbles upon an younger version of himself. The younger Tim (YJ cartoon universe) happily lets the other stay with him, becoming a body with two souls. 

-So now young Tim has Older Tim in his head, giving him advice and teaching him the tricks of the trade. Older Tim takes the name Drake so it’s no so confusing when they talk to one another. (It reminds him fondly of Damian).

-Tim is in control of his body the entire time, except for when he’s in a very tense or dangerous situation. The two souls can sync up, allowing Drake to guide Tim on how to move his body like an echo of his own. This allows Tim to pull off shit way past his level of experience, but it a pays a nasty toll on his body, and he could be stuck in bed for days if he pushes himself too far.

-Tim is shy and very quiet. He has no friends, his parents are always gone, and Batman and Nightwing keep him at arms length. But everything changes with Drake, and Tim finally feels like he has a brother, a twin who will stay with him till the end. He doesn’t want that taken from him, so he keeps Drake existence a secret. (Tim is scarily protective of Drake)

-Tim’s right eye (blue) changes to the same color as Drake’s eyes (teal).

-Anything Tim drinks or eats, Drake can taste. Tim HATES coffee, but he knows Drake loves it, so he’ll indulge the other and drink it for him once in awhile.

-Two Tim’s mean two times the brain power. It’s scary how smart they are combined, but most of their conversations happen in Tim’s head, so it becomes common to just see Tim standing still in random spots, spacing out.

-Drake is very protective of his younger self and wants to try and make the other happy. He still feels so much regret and sorrow for the world and the people he lost, and wants to make sure Tim doesn’t suffer the same fate. He also feels guilty about sharing a body with Tim, but Tim assure him constantly that it’s fine.

hope is a skill

(Just gonna put this here, hope you don't mind the addition)

The next human Danny comes across is an old man in the kitchen. He had scurried away from the random office or whatever it was when he heard the whirring of an elevator (enhanced hearing for the win. Except for when it was overwhelming) and had followed the next source of noise. The old man seemed to be cooking dinner or a late night meal depending on whatever time it was. Danny was currently just a Little Guy, he really couldn't care less after having his nap.

The old man looked down at him. He looked up. They maintained eye contact. The old man raised an eyebrow. Danny flicked his tail. The other eyebrow rose up to join the first. "I see Master Damian has a new... companion," the, apparently British, man said. He also didn't get called a pet, good. He may just be a little guy who enjoys cardboard boxes and avoids higher thinking skills, but he wasn't a pet. "And when's the last time you've been fed, little one?"

Fed? Food? Danny wagged his little tail and gave his cutest expression. Widen the eyes, furrow his little brows just so, "Mrrp?" He asked, trying to convey his utter starvation and how he was just a little guy, had never ever been fed, he mostly ceartinly didn't eat before starting his vacation. British Guy simply nodded and turned to whatever heavenly smelling thing he had in his pot.

Danny pawed at British Guy. He wanted some! British Guy gave him another raised eyebrow. "I may be unfamiliar with your species, but the general rule is no hot chocolate before allergies are ascertained,"

Danny whined pathetically. He was just a little guy! And if it wasn't for him, then who was it for?

Traffic light kid, out of his traffic light uniform, came skidding into the kitchen.

"Pennyworth! Have you seen-" Green eyes locked onto him. "You!" Yes, him, who still wasn't being fed! The rest of the family(?) chose to burst in at that moment. Danny wanted a vacation, not whatever this is!

Danny had been planning this vacation for months, and Ancients did he plan to make the most of it. His friends and parents all agreed to keep Amity safe while he’s gone for the summer, and he had Clockwork to tell him when it was time to portal back home. As he floated towards a natural portal in the ghost zone (because it’s far more fun when the destination is a surprise), he began shifting his form. He had been dealing with so much both as a human and as a ghost. School, fights, teen drama, hunters— but not this summer! This summer, it’s going to be different! He won’t have to worry about human or ghost problems, because this summer, he’s not going to be either! He’s going to be…

A Little Creature™️.

He doesn’t use his “compact” form very often, since it dampens his powers and takes away his ability to talk. But, on this vacation, he won’t need his powers. He can just wander around an unknown dimension, steal some food, sleep in a cardboard box. If he actually needs to be human for something, he can switch back no problem. But honestly? It’s fun being a little guy, even if being a little guy does make him kinda stupid. (He got stuck in a cardboard tube the first time he went into his little form. He was stuck for half an hour. Didn’t even think to phase out of it. As soon as he was pulled out of the tube, he went right back in and got stuck again). Plus, he can stay in this form for an incredibly long time— he doesn’t even switch back when he’s hurt! (Which no, it was not fun to learn that, but good to know)

Shifting into his compact form, Danny slips through the portal and finds himself wading through a big pool of stuff that seems like ectoplasm, but slightly to the left. Like yeah, it’s technically ectoplasm, the same way a carton of milk set out in the sun for three days is technically milk. Not fun to play in, horrible to eat.

As Danny pulls himself out of the gross, bubbling “ectoplasm” pool, shaking himself off, he sees some sort of big fight going down. Bunch of people with swords, some big guy dressed as a bat, some kid dressed as a traffic light. He considers stepping in for a moment, but… no. This is his vacation. Not his dimension, not his problem. Just be a Little Creature™️. He sees a bat-shaped piece of metal at his feet. He knows exactly what a Little Creature™️ would do in this scenario.

He hits it.

Then he hits it again.

Then he hits it again, and again, and again and again and again and he grabs it and bites it and rolls around with it and tail slaps it and bites it and bites it and bites it and bites it and then he almost gets stepped on.

Danny looks up from his toy to see the kid dressed as a traffic light staring down at him. The kid tries to grab the toy away from Danny only to be met by the fierce batting of his little paws. The kid moves his hand close a couple more times, and each time he’s fought off valiantly by Danny’s little paw smacks. He’s not sure why the kid looks like he’s smiling when he’s so clearly losing this battle. The kid gets distracted by the guy in the bat costume calling out to him, and Danny takes this opportunity to continue biting the bat toy, rolling with it and biting it and batting it and biting it and why is he being carried away by the kid.

Danny looks around and sees that the kid is carrying him into a big plane being piloted by the guy in the bat suit. Then he’s shoved under the kid’s cape, and he doesn’t really see too much for a few minutes. He chirps at the kid, and is met with a soft yet quick “shhh!” He waits until he can feel the plane they’re in take off to peek out of the cape and look out the window.

He can see the large pool— though it’s more of a pit, now that he sees the whole thing— that he arrived through, as well as a bunch of people running away from it. Not sure why though, it’s just a bubbling—

Ah.

It blew up.

… Danny hides a bit further in the cape, clutching his bat toy a little tighter. He wound up in a very comfortable position, which made him just… a little sleepy…

Danny woke up wrapped in the cape, held by the kid, surrounded by a shocking number of people all yelling something about a “tiny pet pit demon.”

reblog this if you're okay with booping spams please !!

Writers, it's okay:

to be proud of your own writing

to write something self-indulgent

to celebrate your achievements

to have a bad day of writing

to hype up your own writing

to be kind to your characters once in a while. ok? it's ok

blood test came back i'm half full of blood

blood test came back i'm full of blood

pls don’t let this flop