“why Are You Tired? You Haven’t Done Anything All Day” The Simple Fact That I Exist Drains Me.

Buddy, you're just inbuilding your own child leash. You're going to forget that's there, try to charge off to do something ill advised, and choke yourself. Batman didn't tell you because he knows, that even for only one time, he will have a child leash for Robin, and if he could do it every day, he would.

Batman should probably tell the baby bird that tying their capes together has been tried before and that the prank is going to backfire on him as spectacularly as it did on the flippy bird

Jason, showing up in Gotham a month later, ecto-smoothie in hand and Danny clinging on his back: 'Sup.

Batfam: Uh, watcha got there?

Jason: A new little brother. Congrats, B. You're a father. Again.

Johnny hits Jason with his bike ("we were supposed to go through him babe!" "But we didnt!") which knocks Jason unconscious. Kitty sees he's a ghost and is like "its a baby!" gif and refuses to leave him there.

Jason wakes up to the weirdest coddling experience of his (after)life. After many many tries he cannot successfully escape the growing group of concerned ghosts who are doing the coddling

Two days later Batman issues a search for his missing son, becoming more and more distressed when the batfam finds no leads

Billy: Statute of limitations, but anyways thanks for coming!

Batman: That's not how the statute of limitations works-

Billy: I dropped out of fifth grade, my legalese compiles what cops've harassed me for.

The Justice League: What-

Billy: Man, I can like, trauma and info dump so much now! This is gonna be fun!

The Justice League: No it will not.

Billy telling them his identity when he hits 18 🙏

I'm always saying dictionary-ass bullshit like "heretofore" and "by dint of" and I'm always so paranoid that it sounds like I'm being pretentious but I promise this is how I talk and I really am just a freak

dr who’s on first, doctor strange is on second and doctor house is on third. theres no way theyre getting through a single inning

Love going to bed with a new, good daydream scenario fresh in my mind. Like yes girl, movie night!

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

Breaking News: Gotham Mayor Candidate Gets in Fist Fight with Outside Mayor

On a related note, approval rating of Candidate Fenton have moved up by 3%.

Danny runs for Mayor

Simple Prompt: Danny runs for the Gotham Mayor position

Extended Prompt: Danny is an absolute little shit throughout his entire campaign but still manages to win because he is legitimately one of the best candidates around

Just imagine the crack that could come from this!

Reporter: What is your stance on Vigilantism? Danny: Well I agree that Vigilantes are helpful for the communities that need them, and they should work with the police at every opportunity, I feel like the idea will always be a city where Vigilantes are not needed. Also I fail to see the relevancy of the question, there are no vigilantes in Gotham Reporter: What do you mean? What about the Bat-Family? Danny: No, Batman isn’t a Vigilante. Batman is a Crime Lord.

Or

Danny: As mayor, I promise that I will not be infected by corruption. Not because of my moral standings, but because I absolutely fucking hate clowns and I will never accept a bribe as long as that guy is still alive. Yes this is me putting a hit out on the Joker. Crime Bosses, if you want to try and bribe me, you gotta kill him first or I won’t even consider it!

Or

Batman: Why is a Meta-Human running for Gotham Office? You know this city doesn’t have a very good track record with people like you. Even the Signal had a rough start. Danny: Well, I just had a strong compulsion to help this city reach the peak of it’s potential *looks over Batman’s shoulder to see Lady Gotham holding up Cue Cards telling him what to say. She promised to help with his paperwork for the next 50 years if he became Mayor and helped fix her city* Danny: Such a strong compulsion…

Or

Penguin: Look kid, I don’t care if you have enough power to destroy me at the subatomic level, I have enough money to ruin you, your sister, your parents, even your uncle! Danny: Oh really? I could get the souls of every person you have ever killed to get confessions out of them. Or I could give them the power to rip you apart. Or I could even just possess you and donate all your money to charity.

Or

Danny: Oh god dammit! Vlad: Hello Badger! Glad to see you followed in my footsteps instead of your fathers! Danny: This wasn’t because of you! Lady Gotham asked for help! Vlad: A WIN IS A WIN!

the fact that “the vibes here are rancid” is a power that the jedi actually have is insane to me

Killed it dead, no regrets.

When you have too long of a conversation in the comments on ao3 it starts to look like this on mobile. We broke it lmao

@lirabuswavi