No Offence But I Think A Lot Of Us Me Included Don’t Actually Want Romantic Love As Badly As We Think

Dinah's never been particularly... religious. She hardly ever prays, but even less expects to be answered. But the last time, she was, and now...

Dinah knelt at the small altar she had made. It was simple, and honestly more of a completed checklist of things from the book Constantine had given her.

A metal bowl of offered food. Dinah went with grapes as it seemed the safest option, given she didn't know who or what she was praying too. Sticks of incense, an unoffensive orange blossom scent. A cup of rose water, as a fancy but low key offering. She wasn't still entirely sure about doing this, but, well... They'd answered her before, and she didn't know if they'd answer again. Better to establish some form of rapport now.

John's book had been very clear that there was no fury like a god scorned, and Dinah would rather not to have to fight off another invasion.

Dinah carefully lit the incense and clasped her hands in what she hoped was an appropriately prayerful position.

"Hello," Dinah said quietly. "I am Black Canary, and two weeks ago you answered my prayer to help protect people. I don't know if it was a one off thing, or you want me to be a follower of yours, or what you want at all.

I'm not going to demand anything. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for answering my prayers. Thank you for lending me the power to protect people. Thank you for helping me save my loved ones. Whoever you are... thank you,"

Dinah kept her head lowered for a few moments more, breathing in the orange blossom incense and out her worries and fears. It felt a little like meditation.

When Dinah lifted her head, her eyes immediately zoned in on the empty bowl and cup. The cup was empty, but in place of the grapes there was a scrap of blindingly neon green paper.

Dinah picked it up carefully, and not for the first time hoped that John hadn't steered her wrong.

I'm glad I could help, it read. I'm called Phantom, and if you need help protecting people again, I will be there if you call. Acceptable offerings include chips, soda, and NASA souvenirs if it's a really big thing.

Well. Dinah blinked at the paper. That could have gone worse.

Black Canary is in a tight spot. She prays to any high power that might be listening to help, and she actually gets it.

There's a huge alien spacecraft about to land, it's a total invasion attempt, if that mothership lands then it's gameover, and it's all hands on deck.

Specifically, the Mothership is an unholy amalgamation of magic and alien tech, and if it lands, it'll start pumping pollutants that will change the ecosystem on Earth and make it unable to support Humans.

It'll terraform into something for the aliens at an extremely accelerated rate.

Everyone is preoccupied.

The Mothership is getting closer.

Dinah prays to someone, anyone, to help her keep that thing off the ground.

She opens her mouth...

...And lets out the strongest, most powerful scream she's ever let out.

The Mothership isn't just thrown back, it's torn to pieces. Those pieces are then shoved well past the stratosphere.

Anything that was in the air around the mothership is decimated.

The buildings below it are starting to crumble.

Black Canary stands on the street, voice gone from the strain, and stares blankly at the destruction.

Who, exactly, had she called on?

Or: Undirected prayers go to the Infinite Realms, for anyone to look at. Prayers allow the Prayee to borrow something from the Being that accepts the Prayer. Danny accepts Black Canary's, and lets her borrow his Wail. Except he wasn't expecting the difference between his home dimension and hers to be so great, because while it's considered an overpowered ability even in his own dimension, in her's it could accurately be classified as Godly.

1: It will piss off Vlad Masters.

2: There is precedent (pictures of all the Batkids)

3: I fit in to your adoption preferences.

4: Elaborating on the previous points, I look like a Wayne.

5: I have a bad home life.

6: I have a strong sense of morals and justice.

7: I have a punny sense of humor.

8: Moving on, I have experience with billionaires with a secret lair under their house.

9: I also know about your vigilante personas, so you don't need to hide it from me.

10: I am also a vigilante, so I can help when needed and am not helpless if targeted.

11: I'm dead, so I need specialized care that only someone as rich as you could afford.

12: On that subject, I have a ghost doctor that can help with Jason's pit madness.

...

65: It would be really funny for me.

66: I'm a package deal. You get an extra daughter for free!

67: I am a poor child who has hardly known a parents love, wouldn't you like to do something about that?

68: Tim already knows me, so I'll already have a friend.

69: You already have adoption papers ready. I already stole some and partially filled them out.

In conclusion, sign here to be my legal guardian and dad, please.

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

Lying to your grandparents about what you're reading (fanfic).

evil infodumping where you just tell lies

For @hermesserpent-stuff DTIYS! Thank you for being an awesome writer sharing your gifts with the world, a fantastic artist that helps bring their stories to life, and good friend. Click for better quality.

I forgot thought people mainly go to parties to talk. Every time, I think it'll be different. I can dance to music, people watch, but no. Societal convention traps me.

Ah, time for my most least favourite thing: a party. Don't you love standing in a crowd and yet feeling entirely isolated? Stay tuned for more incurable introvert and socially anxious thoughts.

I need people to understand that sometimes autism is just this

I cannot be stopped. Here's another piece of fanart for @st-whalefall ! Who needs exam prep when you have characters in distress.

did this last night

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying