Thinking About The Wildflowers That Willem And Jude Planted In The Fields Around Their House And How

i just went to see a little life recorded for the cinema and i’m actually so heartbroken!

hanya yanagihara lives in my head. she just gets it, and people don't like what she says because she doesn't sugarcoat things, she tell stories of tragic lives and unspeakable lives. People want and need to have an optimistic sight of life when that's not always the case. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you work on yourself and how much you hope and how much you try, things that happened to you can't be heal or forget and the best you can do it's trying to live with it the best way you can, to accommodate the life that's left.

Things don't magically get better.

i think about jude’s biological parents everyday actually. why did they leave him? did they regret it? did they wonder if he’d been successful? (he was) did they wonder if he’d actually even survived?

the parallels in this book make me insane but yk when Harold was talking w Liesl for the first time in sixteen years and discovered she had been doing the same thing he had, which was seeing Jacob’s essence in the faces of students or just passerbys in the street.

“Only to realize later that she had imagined they might be our son, alive and well and away from us, no longer ours, but walking freely through the world, unaware that we might have been searching for him all this time”

And then later on, after Jude’s death, Harold finds that in everything he sees, he sees him. He seeks his son’s face once again, finding comfort in the idea that he might be somewhere off in the world, walking free, without pain and without grief, but he is no longer his and Julia’s.

Was that the price that Harold and Julia paid to let Jude be freed? That he might be off somewhere else, no longer really Jude but something or someone else that does not carry the pain or grief that Jude carried with him? But in return, he would no longer be Harold and Julia’s? They would never be able to reach him again, but he is free now.

“And if a child can no longer be comforted, is it my job to give him permission to leave?”

i am so fucking high and i can’t stop thinking about jude st francis

this quote haunts me

quote that blasted me across the room first time I read it

BOOKTOK GIRLIES!!! what is the ✨spice✨ level of this book? 😂🩷

jb messaging jackson: