When She Says She Doesn’t Send Nudes

In a series of completely unrelated coincidences, the same family moves into a haunted house, attracts the attention of a local poltergeist, purchases an evil ventriloquist dummy, activates a witch’s curse, and adopts the newborn antichrist, all in the same week.

lord the peasants are so loud today

sorry if i’m being a party pooper but because rabies is apparently the new joke on here ??? please remember that rabies has an almost 100% fatality rate after symptoms develop so if you’re bitten or scratched by an animal that you aren’t 100% sure is vaccinated then GO TO A DOCTOR. it’s not a joke. really. 

reblog if you think it’s ok to have plushies at any age

IF A CREEP WANTS YOUR NUMBER

A series of fake numbers to leave behind.

1-888-447-5594 - Easter egg number for finishing God of War, contains a dramatic speech. Personal favorite.

605-475-6968 - Rejection hotline, politely explains that whoever gave you this number turned ya down, buddy

888-276-6760 - The 24-hour Klu Klux Klanline where you can get a FREE INFORMATION BOOKLET!!!!1!

866-740-4531 - Only responds with “I am Groot”

206-569-5829 - Seattle radio station “Loser Line”. If they leave a weird voicemail, it could get broadcast over the airwaves.

Stay safe, people.

Astronomy I-

Do you have a physical disability?

Can someone please explain to me what evaporated milk is? Wouldn’t that just be gas by definition? I live in constant fear

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.