No Dracula Daily Today. Guess He's Dead Already.

The entirety of Dracula by Bram Stoker is really just:

Dr Seward: I wish we could figure out what’s wrong with Lucy.

Van Helsing: I figured it out immediately but I’m just going to let you solve it yourselves.

Dr Seward: Or you could just tell us.

Van Helsing: Friend John :( I have known you for one thousand years and you have been one of my very good friends and best students :( Do you not trust me? Why do you not trust me, friend John? Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me? Do you not think I have a good reason for withholding vital information? :(:(:(:( Have faith in me, your very old and good friend.

Dr Seward: You’re right :(

Lucy: I love everyone so much and I’m going to tell them every day 🥰💕 also legalise polyamory wtf

Renfield: look at all my pets that I’m definitely not eating 🪰🪰🪰🪰

Dr Seward: What happened to all the birds I gave you?

Renfield, with a mouth full of a feathers: I have no idea.

Arthur: I think… I miss my wife… also how the fuck didn’t we realise Dracula’s house was right next door?

Quincey: I keep saying I’m not that smart but I’m the only one to immediately point out that something was actively taking Lucy’s blood. Brb need to go shoot a giant bat with a gun.

Mina: I am the only person keeping this shit show together. We literally would not have made it without me and no one who adapts my character seems to get that. Women are the heart of this story. I am the glue that binds this group together. I just want ONE MOVIE that understands that and values my intelligence, which is at the forefront of my character.

Renfield: I have an entire character arc but don’t expect any adaptations to show it.

Quincey: ok but what if… we shot Dracula with a gun??? Also stop fucking cutting me from all the adaptations.

Jonathan: has seen indescribable horrors, is a shell of his former self, will literally never be what he was before going to Transylvania

Dracula: oh Jonathan! 🥰🥰🧛🏻🧛🏻🥰🩸🩸🥰🥰

BONUS: everyone is constantly holding hands, especially all of the men, and talking about how they’re going to be best friends forever. The male friendships in this book are shockingly pure and the women are incredible. The Crew of Light are actually the only found family ever, I think.

The suitors and their Wikipedia enthusiast

Honestly I think Johnathan would benefit from some deep breathing exercises. Maybe even some stretching or yoga. Throw some meditation in there and he will be fine

From now until May 1, 50% of proceeds from sales of the Re: Dracula Audiobook and Re: Carmilla Supercut will be going to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund!

no one prepared me for how fucking funny dracula was gonna be. u hoes wax poetic about dracula daily in a thousand different ways every year and never once have i heard anyone talk about how much dracula absolutely sucks ass at being a mysterious creature of the night. it is day 3 and the only reason johnathan hasn’t thrown the word “vampire” around is cause this is a work trip and his boss and dracula would both kill him in short order if he did lmao.

in dracula there is a cowboy and the female lead lives. in nosferatu there is no cowboy and the female lead dies. ergo, the existence of a cowboy is highly important for the survival of the female lead in a gothic vampire story.

I'm always shocked when Lucy says that Mina and Seward would make a good couple if it wasn't for Jonathan because........I just cannot see it lol. Not to get into a ship war with Lucy Westenra but......

Hey uh @re-dracula what the FUCK was up with the pro-Trump commercial I just heard at the beginning of an episode??! Do you all pick your commercials or are they out of your control?

“Under President Biden costs skyrocketed” um actually shut the fuck ALL the way up right now. Trump is literally adding extra taxes to every item just for fun.

Dracula is cleaning his castle.

Jonathan is packing for his business trip.

The Dracula Daily tag is getting busy.

Nature is healing.

"Mina is Dracula's long lost lover and Van Helsing is his archnemesis" shut the fuck up it's the exact opposite of this