Who: Cole & @stevehharringtcns​

sinclairss​:

if it weren’t for the most recent injury, lucas would’ve gone on a run right now. the adrenaline coursing through his veins meant he barely felt any pain, not from his surgically-repaired knee and not from his newly-dislocated shoulder. he could use something to channel that adrenaline, especially when he wasn’t entirely sure how deep into this conversation he wanted to get.

to buy himself some time, lucas hopped out of the car and rounded the passenger side to tug cole’s door open. “yeah,” he finally said with quick nod. “i felt like…i thought i was gonna die.” and that would be a shitty way to go. he held his arm out, unsure if cole might need him for balance and then heading for the doors beneath the glowing EMERGENCY ROOM sign.

this, lucas wasn’t sure on, but he had a hunch. “two’s a coincidence. three’s a pattern,” he said, like he didn’t need to elaborate at all.

xx.

“Thanks,” Cole gave Lucas a grim smile as he climbed out of the passenger seat. He was able to stand on his own, which Cole hoped meant it wasn’t a major injury. Something that would go away in two days, tops. But Cole was tired-- not just physically, but emotionally. He was drained and if he was honest, all he really wanted to do was lock himself in his room for a few days to try and understand what was going on.

Cole waved his hand, dismissing Lucas’ arm. “I’m good, thank you though,” he repeated, feeling bad that Lucas had driven him all the way here just to field his questions and be released with a concussion. Lucas said ‘I thought I was gonna die’ so casually that Cole barely clocked it, so when he realized what Lucas said, Cole stumbled over some shitty landscaping job. “Mine was really real too. Only I wasn’t the one dying,” he added the last part in a mumble.

Raising an eyebrow at Lucas’ comment, Cole turned to him. “Three?” he prodded. He knew he’d remembered a few others mentioning things they’d seen, but everyone was so rattled that he guessed he hadn’t paid much attention. “What does it mean, if it is a pattern?”

eddiemcnson​:

+++

pursed lips, eddie took another drag, buried one hand in the pocket of his jeans. he huffed. oh, he’d known about this stuff for a while, alright. the mere thought of it made his stomach drop, he squeezed his eyes shut for a second, softly, almost unnoticeably, shook his head. trying to shake the image of red skies and black lightning, swarming bats from his mind. 

eddie clicked his tongue, absent-mindedly kicked some gravel. “’easier’.”, he echoed, musing. wondering if he should shield cole from the truth. but he’d been roped into it, too, now. so what good it denial do him. and how cruel would it be of eddie, not letting him in on all the crazy. “remember….remember spring break ‘86? the.. ‘earthquake’ - it wasn’t an earthquake. anyway.”, another drag, eddie quickly exhaled. “anyway. anyway, shit …. went down, basically. like, supernatural shit. and i, well. i almost died.” eddie shrugged, resigned. it seemed so far away now, unreal. though it became frighteningly present again, every other night when eddie woke up in a cold sweat, heaving and panting and clutching at his chest to remind himself that he was alive and breathing. “it’s not …. it’s serious stuff, cole. but it - well, in a way, it sort of gets better. when you get outta here, it gets better.”

he glanced at cole, a small smile tugging at his lips, he nodded. “yeah. friends, i’d like that. that’d be cool. you’re not half bad yourself, montgomery.”truly, eddie hadn’t expected to make any new friends during his summer back in hawkins. and this was a pleasant surprise. 

quirked brows, eddie watched with an amused expression on his face as cole went on about adam, gushing about him, and he felt a warmth swelling in his chest. he was genuinely happy for cole, even more so since they were both so alike. which made eddie hopeful that maybe he could be just as happy as cole one day. “yeah, he seems pretty cool. great catch, cole. well done.”

eddie quickly looked away, flustered chuckle, the mention of steve brought a blush to his cheeks. “it’s… ah, it’s nothng, not really. it’s - “he was cut off by his own incredulous laugh, eddie ran a hand through his hair, then rested his palm on his forehead, he turned to look at cole. “i just can’t wrap my head around the fact that i, like….i made out with steve harrington. king steve. that’s - that’s not real, you know? like, guys like him don’t… they don’t go for guys like me. it’s mental.”

xx.

Cole searched Eddie’s face, noting how viscerally uncomfortable talking about this made him. Clearly, Eddie had seen some shit. If Cole couldn’t sleep because of a vision of Adam’s death, how much worse would he be feeling if he had really experienced any of that shit? 

With a frown, Cole watched the gravel scatter under Eddie’s foot. He nodded, trying to wrap his mind around another tragedy that was actually supernatural in origin. “What the fuck,” he said, incredulously. He almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity, because... why Hawkins? Lifting his eyes to Eddie’s face, Cole nodded at his hopeful conclusion. He patted the other’s shoulder in a slightly awkward display of affection. “I’m sorry... I know that was... fucked up,” he said, at a loss for something more substantial to say. He took a puff of the cigarette and turned it over in his mind. When you get outta here, it gets better. Cole hoped that much was true, and hoped that he and Adam could get out sooner rather than later.

With a teasing smile, Cole flicked his cigarette. “Not half bad,” he echoed, his eyes lingering on the water in front of them. It was nice, something glaringly normal in the midst of everything else. A reminder, almost, that things could be simple and easy. “Don’t let it go to your head,” he warned, with a chuckle.

“Thank you, really... it’s nice to get to talk about it,” Cole said, Eddie’s congratulations causing a swell in his chest. In another world, where they didn’t have to sneak around, Cole would parade Adam around, would wear his name ever on Cole’s lips, because he could never get tired of the feeling that Adam loved him. Despite everything, Adam chose him.

Clearly, Eddie could relate to the feeling. He nodded his understanding, smile still pushing on his lips. “But why shouldn’t he? You’re a catch too.” With a hint of mischief in his eyes, Cole shrugged, “I mean, we already established that I have good taste.”

@goldenboyrichards

PARKS AND RECREATION — 4.05 “Meet n Greet”

eddiemcnson​:

+++

“oh.” eddie just continued to stare, stupidly, until his eyes widened, brain finally catching onto what cole had just admitted here. shit. so hawkins wasn’t as prim, proper and heterosexual as he’d been made to believe all this time. eddie licked his lips, blinked. wracking his brain on what to say next. nearly choking on his own breath when he said ‘we fucked’ and oh, his cheeks immediately lit up, stained a deep red colour. he nodded.

“so you’re….”, he trailed off, browd furrowed, giving cole a meaningful look before he dropped because shit, what else did he need, here? cole had just said he used to have a boyfriend, whom he quote unquote ‘fucked’ - or the other way around? he tried not to think about it, it was getting hard trying to concentrate as is -  what other confirmation could he possibly need to know that cole was into guys?

he didn’t miss how cole’s eyes slipped to his lips and his tongue darted out to swipe over his bottom lip. shit, why was he this flustered? getting hit on in chicago eddie usually wasn’t this squirming and blushing mess of a man. but hawkins? whole ‘nother story. not that he was totally suave in chicago, either, but at least a little more in control. here, he felt powerless. 

however, he straightened his back, took another drag. however, he thought, it didn’t need to be that way. if he pulled himself together. “oh yeah?”, he questioned, brow raised, a grin forming on his lips. “yeah? well, what if i -” and he actually couldn’t believe he was going to use a line this corny but here went nothing - “ well, what if i wanted to skip straight to dessert?”

xx.

As redness overtook Eddie’s cheeks, Cole took another drag of his cigarette. “Yes, I’m gay. You can say it,” he confirmed, his voice remaining low. Cole was sure Eddie would never out him, partially because that wasn’t Eddie’s character, and partially because of mutually assured destruction.

It was exhausting to have to keep such a large part of him a secret, and Cole was frustrated by it. Maybe that’s why he told Eddie (other than, obviously, trying to hook up with him). When Cole went to college, he was able to be himself more freely; he wasn’t out, per se, but he was much more comfortable discussing his sexuality. He wondered if Eddie had a similar experience in Chicago, and was now, like Cole, struggling to reconcile all the different parts of himself.

Cole grinned, noting the change in Eddie’s demeanor. Cole finished his cigarette and reached behind Eddie to throw it away. He brushed his arm against Eddie’s and took advantage of proximity this move afforded him. Glancing up into Eddie’s eyes, Cole’s own twinkled mischievously. “Well, that’s too easy. What about foreplay?” his voice was barely above a whisper. 

stevehharringtcns​:

.

steve smiled once cole accepted his beer, nodding his head as he took the bottle to his mouth and took a sip, looking at cole as he talked about the lake. letting out a chuckle, steve shrugged his shoulders slightly. “yeah, i haven’t exactly had the best experience with lover’s lake… trust me.” he said, his eyes widening a bit at the memory of being pulled down all the way to watergate and the demo-bats. the simple thought sending shivers down his spine, but he thought it probably wouldn’t be for the best if he shared that with cole. he didn’t want to sound crazy at that hour. “is adam okay?” he asked, remembering that the other had been with cole when something had grabbed them in the water, raising an eyebrow at cole for a few moments and then nodding his head.

once cole gave him the green light to ask the question, steve nodded his head slowly. cole would definitely know what to say, after all, he had been his first… experience with another guy. and steve trusted the other. after all, he had never told anyone, so there wasn’t a reason not to trust him. “oh, uh… we’re not together.” he said, closing his eyes momentarily as he tilted his head down and sighed. “it’s not even really a question, it’s just… i think eddie likes me. and i… kind of like him too. but i don’t know, i don’t know what to do. i’ve never been with… a guy. you know, besides you.” he said almost in a whisper. he really didn’t want people to listen to his trouble in his love life. “do you have any advice for that? i mean, you were… are together with adam, right?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

xx.

Cole wasn’t surprised at Steve’s comment. Max had mentioned that Steve was one of the people who knew about the... spooky shit going on in Hawkins. Cole gave him a grim nod: “So I’ve heard.” Shrugging, he answered Steve’s question. “That’s the weird thing... he didn’t have any kind of mark. Just me. I think he’s shaken up, but we’ll be okay.” But he didn’t really want to talk about it. For some reason, Cole didn’t want answers anymore. He was afraid of what the answers would mean for him, for Adam, for Max, for... everyone. Wouldn’t it just be easier to stay out of its way and move on? Or was it wishful thinking? 

He welcomed the change of topic to something lighter. Well, maybe it wasn’t lighter for Steve, but it wasn’t sea monsters and ghosts. Cole nodded at Steve’s explanation. The hint of a smile played on Cole’s lips at the mention of their hookup in the back of Steve’s car. He wondered if Eddie had told Steve about the mall. It didn’t matter. “I’ll be honest, the way you two were looking at each other by the beach? It definitely seems like he likes you. But I think I’m more sensitive to that... since I know you both, you know.” He paused for a moment, chewing on his lip. “I think you have options, but you’ll have to decide that with him. Like... if you want to be together, then do it. There’s a way, and there are plenty of people who won’t think a thing about it.”

Cole nodded, confirming Steve’s question. “Adam and I dated in high school. Secretly, obviously, except for a few people we really trusted. And then... well, he died. Or disappeared. Whatever. So that was that, which is why I... sort of, was with a few other people. Yourself included. But now that he’s back, yeah, we’re together.” He looked over at Steve, giving him a tender smile. “It’s worth whatever risk I was afraid of to be with the person I love. I know you and Eddie might not be there yet, but... to me, it’s worth the risk.” 

zccming​:

cole might not have known about the truth about upside down, the mall fire, or the flayed, but he did know the truth of loss. he understood better than most the weight of grief and how it could change a person. at least, cole understood it in some of the ways max understood it. regardless, as soon as she started feeling jittery about everything she searched for cole. naturally, he met with an argument, which only made her scoff as she moved to refill her cup, “i wouldn’t trust you to remember how to spell your own last name, let alone cups.” max assured him, then took a drink from her cup as a vow of don’t worry, i will. 

swallowing the last of her sip, she took a couple of step backwards, “come on, i have something better.” max turned around and proceeded to lead cole halfway down a stopped escalator. they sat overlooking a fountain on the lower level, it’d be almost pretty if this entire place didn’t feel so eerie. she fished around in her pockets, shoes, then bra to a produce a baggie, paper, and zippo lighter. “gotta get this off me.” max insisted, like it wasn’t perfectly clear why she had pulled cole aside. it wasn’t often max and cole got vulnerable with one another, but it happened enough that they managed to stay friends throughout all the bickering. a trauma bond ( and then some ) or whatever.

max got to rolling, throwing her trash off the side of the escalator as if to say fuck this mall as she went. all finished up, max sighed, “are you as miserable as me right now?” she asked bluntly, extending the joint to cole, then the lighter. max placed her hands on her knees  and shook her head, “like, this is super messed up, right?” 

xx.

"In my defense, my last name is long," Cole teased, trying to lighten the mood-- but the smirk on his face felt wrong, like he was spitting on Adam's grave. How dare he be happy in the place he had died? Cole finished his cup and set it on the ledge nearby, taking a long drag from his cigarette in the process.

When Max told him to follow her, he did so without hesitation. She was one of the few people in this town he trusted fully, oddly enough. Their friendship, however unorthodox, was a natural one: after running into her at the skate park a few times, he started bringing snacks for them and they just clicked. He could tell they were similar: both of them carrying around a pain they didn't know how to handle, and both of them unwilling to burden another with it.

Upon seeing her stash, Cole put out his cigarette on the side of the escalator, following suit and launching it over the side. Fuck this mall, indeed. Cole laughed, though it was more a breath than anything. "Oh yeah. Let's go throw a rager to memorialize the place our friends and family died. Nothing weird about that," he remarked, taking the blunt and lighting it behind his hand. He took a drag and handed it to her.

"It's just... do you ever feel like it should've been you? Like, why did all those people die and not me?"

Timothée Chalamet

zccming​:

“yeah, and you were only able to fracture it because i saved your ass first.” max huffed. now she understood how dustin felt all the time, no credit paid where credit was due. it wasn’t like she was expecting to be met with high praises or anything, but she had been anticipating a few more thank yous and a few less lectures. cole, at least, wasn’t going to lecture her. he was only going to be whiny, like always. “i’m surprised it isn’t already healed.” max snickered, then condescendingly sympathized, “must be real bad.” then as he made fun of her request for him quiet down, she smiled mockingly at him, “it’ll be quiet enough when you shut the fuck up.” 

despite the hostile words tossed around, max shuffled over to her dresser, grabbed her baggie, and got to rolling. following the mall, she was relieved to find that things seemed to remain normal between them. there wouldn’t be anything weird from her end, but it made her quietly pleased to see cole stand by his choice to share his truth with her. in time, she’d produced a joint for them. moving mostly in silence, max laid staring at her ceiling as they passed the j back and forth until she was lost in her thoughts, the sounds of the radio, and the bugs chittering outside of her thin walls.

cole had shared with her about adam, and all max could think about was how she couldn’t stop relating it to her feelings about eleven. of course, they had skimmed the surface over the billy of it all, but this was a new, equally difficult, perspective. it was horrible of her, but that didn’t mean anything weird, did it? maybe cole would know… thoroughly baked, max distantly asked, “do you ever think about how el has like, the perfect face?” did he even know what she looked like? “or how she’s like, the perfect girl. or perfect person even. it’s… crazy.” it wasn’t exactly explicitly emotional, but in her altered state, max was holding out hope that cole might just read her mind about what she was trying to convey. “i really missed her.” with even less tact than usual thanks to the weed, max somehow brutal and awkward, prodded at cole, “how does it feel when you think about adam? like …what does missing someone…like that…feel like…to you?” then she rasped, “it’s different from…my experiences.”

xx.

“It is real bad, thanks for your sympathy,” Cole retorted sarcastically, cradling his finger in his other hand. “I can’t play the piano with this shit. What else am I supposed to do at work?” he sighed, though his eyes twinkling with laughter. Cole blew Max a kiss with his good hand, playing along. “What, did you invite me over here to sit quietly in the corner? You got a dunce cap I can wear while I’m at it?” he teased, though he wouldn’t put it past her to actually sit him in the corner with a dunce cap, for the bit.

Cole gratefully took the joint and lifted it to his lips. “Cheers,” he breathed out, releasing a cloud of smoke. He still couldn’t believe he’d come out to Max. He hadn’t regretted it-- the opposite, he felt an ongoing sense of relief-- but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a tad on edge, waiting for any sign that Max treated him differently. He passed the joint to her and turned onto his side, studying her face. She acted like something was on her mind.

The mystery only lasted a few seconds more, until she started going on about El. Chuckling, Cole took the joint back from her, “I hadn’t really thought about her face. She’s nice enough, but not really my type.” The two grew quiet and Cole dared not vocalize his thoughts, his suspicion that Max maybe liked El as more than a friend. Maybe he was projecting, hoping that she could relate to him in that way. Then, to his surprise, her questions all but confirmed it. He took a drag of the joint, and then another, turning his response over in his head. “Not to be dramatic, but I think it felt like... I was missing part of myself. The part that only he knew, you know?” he looked down at his hands. “It still feels like that. Like I’m a fraud, like everything I do without him is just pretending.” Cole looked back up at Max, wondering, but not wanting to pressure her. “Maybe I need a shrink.”

who: Cole & @rcbinbvckleys​

where: hate to say... the hospital

Since Cole and Adam had cleared the air and sort of discussed what happened at the carnival, Adam had refused to leave Cole’s side for more than a few minutes. It was the comfort he needed-- to know that every time he woke up, Adam would be there, holding his hand. Luckily, Cole hadn’t had any visitors who were out of the loop-- Max and his roommate(s) Steve and Eddie were well aware, and when Jack had stopped by it was clear that Adam had told him.

When Robin walked in, Cole instinctively pulled his hand away from Adam’s. With a slightly nervous smile, he greeted Robin. “Hey, Buckley,” he said, his voice notably hoarse. Maybe he was paranoid, but Cole could’ve sworn that her eyes lingered on Adam, his proximity to Cole, the intimate moment she’d walked in on. “You know Adam? We were really close in high school. I’m friends with his sister,” Cole’s cheeks flushed and he knew he was stumbling over his words.

He changed the topic, partially to divert her attention away from the Adam equation and partially because he had been worried about her, since Max mentioned they’d both been separated from the group. “Are you okay? Max mentioned... something.” 

eddiemcnson​:

+++

his thoughts were spiralling, dizzy with how close they suddenly were to one another. a contact high, if you will, eddie thought and nearly chuckled at his own joke that he had cracked, to himself, in his own head. decided against it because he had a strong feeling that that might ruin the mood. and after his love life had been a big heap of, well, nothing, these past few months, eddie was definitely not trying to do anything that could potentially ruin the mood.

eddie watched, enraptured, as cole’s eyes stuck to his lips and is own darted down to cole’s. and man, while he hadn’t taken much notice of him in hgih school, he now wondered why - cole was pretty. like, very pretty. the relevation hit eddie hard, made his breath hitch. shit.

his heart skipped a beat, stopped for a second, he thought, as he felt cole tug on his shirt. he bit his lip as his eyes flicked down to cole’s lips, god, they really had to get out of there, stat. so eddie nodded, hummed in agreement. grabbed hold of his wrist and looked around for a moment before he dragged him off around the corner, pressing him up against a marble pillar.

nervous eyes searching is. “uh…you, uh, sure about this?”

xx.

Since Adam had died, Cole had been chasing the feeling-- the euphoria-- of connecting with another. That’s not to say he was looking for a relationship... no, he was too closed off for that. He was looking for a reminder that he was still capable of connection, maybe even love. One day.

And today, this chance encounter with Eddie was exactly the feeling he’d been wanting. He’d always noticed Eddie in school-- how could he not, the way Eddie seemed to fill up every room? But he’d never seen Eddie like this: nervous, but sure. In control. And Cole was loving it. 

Cole’s stomach leaped when Eddie took him by the wrist and pressed him against the wall. He could feel the heat coming off of Eddie’s body, he could practically taste Eddie’s words. Fluttering his eyes, Cole looked up at Eddie, hand still gripping the other’s shirt.

“I am. Are you?”