“I Thought You Loved Me.” She Said, Questioningly

#need something to grab onto #to ground me #feeling lost #hold my hand #before i float away

You think her kiss is magic One day you’ll learn it’s poison

The darkness in my head thick viscid pulling me under

I once thought you had come to banish the darkness It turns out you only came to snuff out my remaining light

I am a believer Always wanting To believe In the good in people In something bigger That promises made Are promises kept

It took a long time And immeasurable disappointment To become this distrustful But I’m really not

On the inside I still believe In you

And I believe You will break my heart Again

Fuck conventional And fuck your white picket fence What makes you think someone so remarkable as yourself is meant for such ordinary dreams? You focus so hard on what you think will bring you happiness I fear you will neglect to see the possibilities for happiness already at your feet

Please don't remember me fondly

Remember me as the one who held your heart so softly, the one who loved you without restraint even when your love for me was a tangled mess which took years to unravel

Remember my patience and devotion as I sat at your feet, then how you crushed them under your heel

Remember me with pangs of guilt and regret when you think on your habit of assuring me I was safe with you then abandoning me once again

Don't remember me fondly, remember you killed me