The Constant Struggle

my blog was meant to be a roleplay / irl kinda thing and i chucked the roleplay aspect into the trash LMAO

im meant to roleplay as a siren confused about living on land which makes sense tbh for my age rn since im only 18 and now living life as an adult™

I THINK ITS HAPPENING AGAIN

yall im in my online class and MY LAPTOP CRASHED 💀💀💀

WTF 😭😭😭

A cis woman tells me that maybe she should transition to gain male privilege as I'm recovering from getting beaten up in the men's bathrooms.

I tell her to be my guest and give me a call when she gets her jaw broken, I always carry a first aid kit and a pepper spray.

She calls me a misogynistic asshole.

A cis man tells me that he'd sure love some T.

Gave him my prescription and best of luck with the constant shortages and getting denied.

He calls me a pussy.

I'm fighting for my life and reproductive rights. I get told to get off women's fights, that it's not about me, like I shed my womb after my first T shot.

I search for support groups for SA victims, and I'm stuck in the same “women/NBs only”. Still shooting my shot, send an application. I introduce myself. Never get a call back.

I go to a trans night. Say I go by he/him. Get told back “yeah, that's how we all start !” by a trans woman. I'm too exhausted, I get up and I leave.

I hang out with my friends, one of them drunkenly says masculinity is a prison we must learn to escape. She gets rows of applause. Back to drinking alone.

Yes I could explain it. But who'd you rather be ? A delusional girl or a man made threat ?Or it could be better, I could just not exist ! And we'd bleach my corpse and I'd become a casualty. Not an F, ot an M, a W for Wound and for Wrong.

I put a candle on a single cupcake, 2 years on HRT. I blow it in the dark. Curtains closed like casket.

if you’re cis and dont know what you can be doing right now, or even trans but not sure what you can do, this article is great

my mom is trying to make the flight so im just looking up at the planes entrance mentally thinking

“wheres my mommy? wheres my mommy?”

AND we need to stop having radfem ideals as the main feminist movement. not only do they often believe this, they also PUSH it as what men will ALWAYS do

radfeminism is no longer about the patriarchy, its about hating men.

radfems often just became or already are sexist, transphobic, and homophobic.

ive seen radfems say that “all men” are the same which INCLUDE CHILDREN!! a CHILD showed signs of sexual abuse but they didnt care BECAUSE it was a male child who went to a female child and pulled her head to his crotch and said “suck”

NO TODDLER WILL DO THAT UNLESS THEY WERE TAUGHT TO AKA SEXUAL. ABUSE.

and radfems OFTEN do and say stuff that tell men that it is completely fine for them to do what they expect all men to do (the crimes that men are statistically more likely to do) which then tells women that they should expect it from them (which then can become victim blaming or even accepting abuse since its “expected”)

the “all men” ideology* is harmful and actively tells men and young boys that it is in their blood and biology to BE harmful people.

one thing people often say (that i agree with) is that we need to stop teaching women to accept abuse from men/defending them and to teach men to stop being abusive. the radfem ideology doesnt do that. it actively tells men that they WILL act that way since its what they always do. it actively HARMS that ideology

*this does not include the “all men” when it comes to randomly in the street, in public, etc. the ideology that you do not know that person therefore they may harm you IS valid. it ISNT valid to say that every man HAVE TO / WILL act a certain way as it tells young boys that they WILL act that way therefore telling them that it is completely fine to act that way. it is just a rebrand of “boys will be boys”

not only that, what about trans people?

do trans men count towards the “not all men” (according to them, it doesnt lmao)

then when you ask them why it often has to do with the fact that we are trans.

if you have to bring up someones PAST identity, the identity they NO LONGER IDENTIFY AS to defend WHY you dont include them in you ideology that has to do with the gender they currently are, then you dont see them as their current identity, only the previous one

as much as i would love to bring up issues that trans women deal with due to radfeminism, i have no clue how to bring it into the conversation as im not a trans women and, due to shitty memory, only remember my own experiences as a trans man when it comes to radfemisim. the og post i reblogged has a wonderful comment speaking on the fact that this also is trans misogyny as it claims that AMABs will always act a certain way, so does it apply to trans women?

again, radfeminism is just transphobia and sexism masked as feminism

it harms everyone. women especially. its essentially telling them that they should expect and accept abuse from men since “it’s what they do”

also, if any radfems see this, im blocking you lmao

this isnt a discussion, argument, etc. between us. i do not care what you have to say

only saying this because ive see a radfem before try to defend themselves in a post talking about the harm of the ideology as a trans man

people gotta stop acting like every single thing a man does is sexually motivated. it's not helping the men who do focus on making things sexually oriented that shouldn't be grow past the behavior. we gotta stop equating every single thing men do to somehow having to do with sex on some level. this is profiling whether or not we want to admit it, and it IS making the problem worse, because it REINFORCES this behavior in men who DO act like this. challenge the notion that all men care about is sex, not reinforce it. all you're doing is being absolutely fucking nasty, and you're especially walking all over sex repulsed men, asexual spectrum men, and men who have sexual trauma.

Daily reminder that :

-Validating a trans person's manhood only when you want to exclude them from certain communities is not being a trans ally.

-Validating a trans person's manhood only when you want to make them seen inherently predatory towards women is not being a trans ally.

-Validating a trans person's manhood only when you want to make comments such as ''eww...why would you want to be a man...?'' or ''k!ll all men,including trans men'' is not being a trans ally.

-Validating a trans person's manhood only when you want to talk about how they inherently have ''male privileges'' over women is not being a trans ally.

-Validating a trans person's manhood only when you want to exclude them from conversations about misogyny or reproductive rights is not being a trans ally.

im feeling down but theres nothing i want to do or buy i dont even wanna buy food which is something i always wanna do whenever im upset

was supposed to play overwatch with a discord server im somewhat active in but like no one showed

i hate having no friends. being alone is fun until youre reminded that youre truly alone

and like i really want to share the fact that im having bottom growth and have people tell me in that moment that theyre proud and happy of me but i have no one :’)

might just post it randomly to a discord server im in meant to tmen and get my validation from there

and im constantly like “i wish i had a bf” but i really dont wanna use dating apps they fucking suck

grindr is so damn scary and comes off as “scam the app” then i feel like shit using any other dating app i dont wanna swipe on ppl thats mean

idk. just sad and lonely rn

ever since coming out and realizing that im a trans man, i feel so weird romancing haley in stardew valley

i might romance alex or shane instead instead 😭

RIP grandma.