This Too Shall Bass

? scientist just discovered something but they dont want to tell us

REMEMEBER IF HARD WATER IS CAUSING CALCIUM BUILDUP IN YOUR BONG, JUST LET SOME WHITE VINEGAR SIT IN THAT THING FOR A FEW MINUTES AND SHE'LL BE LOOKIN BRAND NEW. JUST DONT SMOKE WEED WOTH THE VINEGAR INSIDE PLEASE

what a mother does for you out of obligation vs what a mother does for you because she wants to. the taste of a cup of coffee made from obligation vs. the taste of a cup of coffee made. did you raise me because you wanted to or did you raise me because you had to, because i was in your home and you thought, i have to put food in every mouth under this roof. did you look at me with love or did you look at me. did you ever look at me? did you ever see me? did you want to? do you want to still? if i asked you to love me would you laugh? would you ask me why? would you tell me to not ask such stupid questions? would you go to bed and wonder to yourself, why does she think i don't love her? i've done everything for her i've bathed her i've clothed her i've fed her i kept a roof over her head. isn't that love? do you even know? do you know what love looks like? did your mother love you? did she make you coffee? can you tell me what it tasted like?

He was as tall as he was tall, and his eyes were the color they were. To describe his hair one would say that he had some. His face had all the features you'd expect, and none of the ones you wouldn't. "There he is," people would often say of him, but only when he was there. And they were right.

this meeting could have been a thirty year long loveless marriage

Ash is to Ash what Dust is to Dust

a spark is to an ember what “I’m trying to lose weight to feel good about how I look” is to “I’m planning out my life to try not to look like you”

a knife is to a blade what “I’m concerned about the obesity epidemic” is to “I wish I could solve the problem of your body” is to “I see your body as diseased because it’s not like mine”

an injury is to a wound what “I’m so bad for skipping the gym” is to “I’m being so good for ordering a salad” is to “Health is a moral obligation” is to “You’re failing if you have a disability”

a ghost is to a phantom what “Processed foods are so bad for you” is to “You should feel guilty for eating what you can afford”

"is it possible for a [thing] girl and a [different thing] boy to be in a relationship? 🥺" i'll stop you right there. get a notebook cause i'll only tell you once. men and women are not allowed to date each other

It's so fucking funny how many people who owned Furbies as children ended up being traumatized by them in some way

if i see a group of men laughing i just know its not funny