Kashmir Is Bleeding

I bought a sandwich cutter from China and I think the translation on the package is a bit off

It got real dark real fast

so we went to an improv show and we played this game where somebody is given a trait and another player has to guess what it is based on how they answer questions

and one of the players who was a taxidermist was asked “what do you do for a living?” and she replied “oh you know…. stuff” AND TO THIS DAY THAT IS THE GREATEST PUN I HAVE EVER HEARD MY GOD

This single image could not be more inaccurate about about Gen Z slang even if the selection process was getting a series of randomly chosen monkeys to tap on keyboards to generate phrases.

the best thing about having the house to myself is that I can make breakfast in my underwear

goyisch historians: jews did not put up any fight in WWII :) they just complacently marched off to camps 

90% of yiddish folk music from WWII: i can and will kill hitler with my own two fists

A Wordplay Poem

I take it you already know

Of tough and bough and cough and dough?

Others may stumble, but not you,

On hiccough, thorough, lough, and through?

Well done! And now you wish perhaps,

To learn of less familiar traps?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word

That looks like beard and sounds like bird.

And dead - it's said like bed, not bead -

For goodness sake, don't call it 'deed'.

Watch out for meat and great and threat

(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt):

A moth is not a moth in mother,

Nor both in bother, broth in brother.

And here is not a match for there

Nor dear and fear for bear and pear.

And then there's dose and rose and lose -

Just look them up - and goose and choose,

And cork and work and card and ward,

And font and front, and word and sword,

And do and go, and thwart and cart -

Come! Come! I've hardly made a start!

                                 ~from the Manchester Guardian, 1954

  Proof that English is as fickle as they say it is.

And for anyone unfamiliar with old-fashioned British phonetics, hiccough is pronounced like hiccup and lough is "lak." Thank you Merriam Webster.

funny text posts arent my

WAIT

IN JAPANESE, WEDNESDAY IS 水曜日

WHICH IS LITERALLY WATER DAY

FREE! COMES OUT ON WEDNESDAY

FREE! COMES OUT ON WATER DAY 

お

O's "a" wOrking Out.