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May I request the reader being childe’s younger sibling in their teen years and ends up falling into the abyss while he’s off in Liyue

what happened to you?

# — characters: gender neutral reader, childe/ajax, skirk, zhongli, aether, lumine, kaeya, albedo

# — summary: you're not the same person ajax left behind.

# — warnings: blood/fighting/injury mentions

# — tags: hc/drabble format, egregious canon divergence, angst, fluff ??, abyss prince aether, kaeya and albedo are associated with the abyss, traveler lumine

# — notes: when i saw this req, i got so fucking excited, you have no idea. this is so cool to think about, holy shit. when i say i sat here and wrote this for hours, i mean it very very seriously. also, if it wasn't already obvious, i have a thing for making the reader strong, so this is really up my alley. anyways, as always, reblogs are appreciated and i'd love to know what you think about this! i hope you enjoy!

# — tag list: @marius-z @sxnnyserene @favonius-captain @the-gayest-sky-kid @chichikoi

want to join the tag list?

✧ — 🐋 — ✧

it's actually not specified just how many older siblings childe has, but it is known that he has some

so let's say for the sake of this post that you were born after ajax

the gap between you two isn't very large -- he's in his very early twenties and you're in your late teens -- but it's enough to make a difference

he treats you almost the same as he treats tonia, teucer, and anthon, and no matter how much you tell him to stop, he just .. won't

don't get me wrong, ajax is an amazing older brother

it's just that he has this habit of treating you like a little kid

you followed closely at his heels when you two were a bit younger

you looked up to him despite him being a timid boy, because though he was timid, he was ambitious

even before he became a fighter, he vowed to protect you by any means necessary

so, onto the abyss.

when ajax returned after being missing for three days, you tried to cling to him as you usually did, but a simple glance at him told you everything you needed to know about him

whoever it was that came out of that forest... wasn't your brother.

something was missing in your brother's eyes when he came home that day -- something important. you didn't notice it at first, but you were still the first to notice something was wrong.

when he ran away with nothing but a bag of bread and a shortsword, you shared in your mother's grief, even at the age of 10. with snezhnaya's unforgiving weather, you were sure that you would stumble across ajax's frozen body within a day. your father was on a trip somewhere far away, and your mother was too busy tending to your lively home to set out to search for her son herself.

"we just have to wait," your mother told you, her face swollen from crying for hours. she loved each and every one of you more than she loved herself; if something happened to any one of you, it would surely break her down. you wept with your mother as she cradled you in her arms. "by the grace of the cryo archon, he'll return." she whispered.

you, like many other snezhnayans, trusted in the cryo archon's judgement, even if she was merciless at times. you said silent prayers for two nights, hoping that she would answer.

when dawn broke on the third day, you truly thought the tsaritsa heard your desperate pleas.

you were the first one awake that morning. you often climbed into bed with ajax since you had frequent nightmares and a horrid fear of the dark, but without him there to fight off the terrors of the night, you couldn't sleep very well. you quietly trudged around your house with your favorite blanket draped across your shoulders. mornings were quiet in your house, even if there were so many of you living there.

you gazed tiredly out the window at the snowy terrain. you remembered your mother's words about waiting and rested your head on the cool windowpane. you would have given anything to see your brother walk out from the forest in the distance, safe and sound.

apparently, you didn't have to give a thing. movement in the distance caught your eye and you squinted, straining your eyes to try and make out the features of the stranger. as they got closer, you pick up the faint image of a familiar shortsword.

it's him. it had to be. you were sure of it.

not caring if you were wrong, you shed your blanket and flung open the door, your face aching with how wide your smile was. "ajax!" you screamed at the person.

they halted in their tracks at the sound of the same and waited for a few seconds before they picked up the pace, sprinting towards you. once they got a little closer, you noticed the familiar head of orange hair and ran to meet them halfway, your bare feet sinking into the snow.

your mother and siblings came running down the stairs behind you, afraid that something had happened to you, but stilled themselves when they saw you tackling your brother into a crushing hug, the two of you collapsing into the snow with loud laughter.

"we were so worried about you!" you cried, your arms tightening around your brother. he was still laughing. "why did you leave us?"

ajax pushed himself up and took you along with him, hoisting you into his arms as he started towards the house. you yelped at the swift movement and wrapped your legs around him. "i wanted to explore by myself for a while," he said, his hand patting your back. "i scared you, didn't i?"

you nodded quickly. "mhm! more than the monsters under the bed!"

ajax made a soft sound. "that's no good. i'm sorry. i'll make it up to you when we get inside, okay? let's get you warmed up first."

your entire family doted on ajax all day when you two got inside. you all treated him to his favorite foods and games while your mother inspected him for injuries despite his insistence that she stop.

that should have been the warning sign.

when the day ended and everyone returned to their rooms to head to sleep, you and ajax stayed on the living room floor and talked about his time away. you told him about how you tried to be a big kid with him gone -- how you tried and failed to fight off any monsters that may have been lurking in your room. ajax patted your head with an apologetic smile.

"i'll crush those monsters for you tonight, okay?" he said.

at first you were excited to agree, but as you looked at your brother with the same starry eyes you always did, you found that something was.. off.

maybe it was the wording of his promise that tipped you off. he sounded far too enthusiastic about the idea of fighting off non-existent monsters. you knew very well that there were no monsters in your room; you were just afraid of the dark. it made you feel better to think there were so you could pretend to beat them up and conquer your fears. if you were both aware that this nightly monster hunt was a game, why did he look so excited by the idea of a battle?

you stared at ajax for a little while longer, trying to figure out if you were just making stuff up because you were scared. once you were in panic mode, it was hard to not see everything as some sort of monster. ajax was always the exception to that feeling.

or at least, he used to be.

you nodded and made an excuse about having to use the bathroom, scurrying up the stairs as quickly as your feet could manage. your breathing began to pick up as you recalled what you saw -- or more precisely, what you didn't see -- in your brother's eyes.

the two of you were beneath the ceiling lights.

then why couldn't you see the lights reflected in his eyes?

ajax wasn't stupid. he picked up on your sudden fear of him right away that day.

he found it odd, though, that you didn't behave as though you were afraid of him.

there was a wall between you two that wasn't there before, but every so often you would reach across it, even when he caused trouble and started unnecessary fights.

your relationship mended itself over time because of his gratitude.

you were the only member of the family who knew of his early promotion to harbinger status. you disagreed with his way of life, but you tried not to treat him any different.

ajax was a different person altogether, and yet you still tried to accept that new person as your brother.

ajax, now childe, revises his vow:

to protect you and your light at all costs.

he did what he could to protect you, even from afar when he was sent to liyue. you exchanged letters with him that were separate from the ones he sent to the family

he would detail his plans and his complaints, and send you special gifts recommended by this zhongli person he met.

he tells you via letter one day that he met a fascinating blonde traveler. from a moment's glance, he knew she would be the perfect sparring partner and he told you as such

but towards the end, he tells you how much he thinks you would like her.

she was a lot like you, apparently.

so naturally, you decide that you have to meet her. crazy as your brother may be, it's not every day that you hear about ajax being so amazed by someone who wasn't the tsaritsa

you pack your stuff and sneak away in the night, making your way to the harbor by taking a shortcut through the forest

unfortunately, you ended up taking a very, very, VERY long detour.

when you come to, you immediately realize that there's a gap in your memory.

you remember tucking away ajax's last letter to you under your pillow; you remember walking through the forest to get to the docks; you remember being startled so badly by a passing deer that you slipped.

after that...

your body enters survival mode in an instant as you take in your surroundings. you were a smooth, ebony marble floor and as you look around, you notice that the rest of this room -- this castle -- was made of a similar material. you appear to be in a dark throne room of sorts; there was some obvious wear and damage that tainted the room, but there was an undeniable elegance in the obsidians, navys, golds, and silvers that made up the room.

how did you end up in a castle, of all places? did you fall and hit your head so hard that you fell into a coma? were you just dreaming? what throne room would be in the middle of the forest?

"another one?" a voice comes from in front of you, where the throne is. you blink rapidly when you actually see a blonde man in strange clothing sitting there. he wasn't there before, was he? you were alone a second ago.

"do the people of teyvat only know how to stare?" he scoffs at you, crossing one leg over the other. "what happened to common greetings?"

the blonde stranger has eyes that match the golden plating of his clothes, you notice. they burn holes through you as they seem to glow brighter in the dark atmosphere. he's suddenly joined by two other men; one with long blue hair and an eyepatch, and another with ashy light blonde hair and teal eyes so bright, you almost feel the need to shield your eyes. the newcomers stand on opposite sides of the throne, each of them assuming different postures.

"with all due respect," the man with teal eyes speaks. his voice is smooth and quiet. "the people of teyvat are not used to circumstances like this."

the blonde in the throne clicks his tongue impatiently. "then why do they put themselves in said circumstances?" his eyes haven't left yours for a second. you're too shell-shocked to speak; it must show on your face, because the blonde outlander raises an eyebrow at you, a small smirk forming when he sees you back away. "cute. they're afraid of me."

you struggle to find your voice. "wh-who," you swallow dryly, "who are you people? where am i? how did i get here?"

the blue-haired man leans on the throne nonchalantly. "my, my," he croons, "so many questions, and you've only just arrived here, little one." he chuckles when you visibly shudder at the sound of his voice. "i think we ought to introduce ourselves, no?"

the man with teal eyes hums in agreement. "i think that'd be best. we need to appear less threatening if we want them to start talking."

you make a small squeaking sound. what were they going to do to you if you didn't talk? thanks to your years of being around ajax, you picked up on his ability to read environments very well. this new place is terrifying and reeks of ancient death, but the men before you seem completely harmless, though that does little to soothe you. you were an intruder in their eyes, and only the archons know what they might do to an intruder like you.

you squeeze your eyes shut, fearing the worst. you just wanted to see your brother again -- wanted to see how happy he was in liyue. you didn't ask for all this. you just wanted to go home.

"it's been a while since someone's come down here." a woman's voice comes from behind you, scaring you enough to make you yelp out loud. her voice is rich and rough around the edges. she chuckles as you scoot backwards on the floor in an attempt to stay away from her. "we got ourselves a scaredy-cat this time, your highness."

your highness?!

you whirl back around to look at the blonde man in the chair. the white accents of his clothes and jewelry glow in response to the title. he was royalty? your stomach drops as your brain reminds you of what happens to people who disrespect those of such high standing.

"enough, skirk." the prince orders. "don't give them the wrong idea."

the woman -- skirk, apparently -- shrugs and walks towards the throne. "fine, fine." when she gets to where the prince and the other two men are, she shifts her weight onto one leg as she examines you from afar. her eyes suddenly light up with recognition. "say, kid; you wouldn't happen to be related to an 'ajax', would you?"

you feel the blood drain from your face. "h-how do you know my brother's name?"

skirk laughs. "i knew you looked familiar! say, how is he these days? i've been meaning to kick his ass again someday, but he never visits."

the prince snorts. "you'd prefer if people fell in this hellhole more often?"

"eh, it keeps me on my toes."

"how," you raise your voice abruptly, "how do you know my brother? answer me!"

you're not sure where you got the confidence to speak to these strangers with such force, but as time passes, you realize that you're cornered. each of these people possess so much raw power that you can almost taste it; even if you stayed quiet, you'd be no closer to escaping this place unscathed. so, you figure you may as well get as many answers as you can before they kill you.

you feel yourself break into a cold sweat at the thought of dying here. you were going to die alone -- your family has no idea that you left home and ajax thinks you're still at home, helping your mother around the house. none of them would know that you ended up here. ajax, anthon, tonia, teucer... none of them would know a thing. tears sting your eyes but you blink them away.

skirk makes an impressed noise. "your brother wasn't as brave as you, y'know." she praises. "he tried to act all tough in the beginning, but i heard him crying himself to sleep for like, a week. but you... you've got guts. i like it."

you give skirk your dirtiest scowl and feel exasperation build when she smiles at you. ajax ended up here when he went missing all those years ago? well, it was no wonder he came back a different person; these people were fucking insane. he's lucky he was able to fight and survive for so long.

skirk's words replay in your head. did she say ajax was here for a week? but that doesn't make any sense. he was only gone for three days.

"what is this place?" you ask after a moment.

"and that," the prince suddenly stands, "is where i come in. i think we should get on with these introductions, don't you?"

"what?" you blurt. "b-but you didn't answer my--"

the blonde ignores you. he introduces himself as aether. "currently, i'm in charge of whatever is left of this place. this," he points to the man with teal eyes, "is albedo. this man here is kaeya," he points at the man with blue hair, "and this--"

skirk holds up a hand, cutting aether off. you wonder why she hasn't been punished for her insolence yet. "i think i'll do a proper introduction later." she says, her eyes locked on yours. "believe it or not, we have some history together."

aether nods understandingly and makes his way over to you. when he takes a knee a little ways away to look at you at eye level, you belatedly realize that you've been on the floor this whole time. your face warms with shame; you're making a prince kneel because you're too weak to stand on your own.

now that he's closer, though, you notice how... kind his face really is. from this distance, his eyes look less like blinding lights and remind you more of the sun. you almost start to feel warm under his gaze. why was he looking at you like that now when he looked like he wanted to kill you a little while ago?

"you must be scared out of your mind, huh?" aether asks. he's lowered his tone for you. when you don't back away from him, you see the ghost of a smile appear on his face. "i'm sorry about earlier. we have to put up a front if we want people to respect us if and when they show up here."

"who wouldn't respect a prince like you?"

aether's laugh is low and mirthless. "you'd be surprised. here, if you want respect, you have to earn it by any means necessary. we test any intruders by intimidating them because humans reveal their true colors when they're at their most vulnerable."

you blink, dazed by his words. hasn't ajax said something like that before..? "s-so... did i pass?"

you didn't think you said that very loud, but apparently you did, because kaeya and skirk snicker from where they stand. you feel your face burn. aether's smile grows. "yes, little one." he rises to his feet and extends a hand to you, offering to help you up. you hesitate but take his hand regardless, pulling yourself to your feet with aether's help.

"you pass."

what happened then?

as nice as that little introduction to the abyss order was, rest assured that things did not remain that way.

first of all, aether and albedo explain to you in no uncertain terms that you cannot leave this place unless the abyss lets you

you basically have to prove yourself -- prove your worth -- if you want to come and go as you please.

and so, skirk puts you through training

and let me tell you, her training is HELL.

for weeks, you lie awake because of the pain she puts you through for hours at a time.

her endurance training tests not only your stamina, but your pain tolerance. she pushes you to the brink of death and barely waits for you to come back before she's on your ass again

you feel like giving up by the time the first month is over, but skirk sits you down after training one day and explains that you were progressing ten times faster than your brother did.

"ajax wasn't weak," she says, "not by a long shot. but he didn't have any prior training, and that stunted his growth." she hands you something to drink, chuckling when you gulp at it desperately. "did ajax even train you? also, slow down, kid, you might choke."

you gasp for air once you think you're fully hydrated. "no," you say between breaths, "he didn't."

now that you were acutely aware of your natural strengths and weaknesses, you know that you were born with better instincts than the average person. skirk told you that it was actually intuition, but you felt it was more than that. maybe it was a combination of the two.

if it was your intuition, then you would know why you felt the way you did in certain situations. intuition was born out of experiences and was based in your subconscious; in your case, you would have had to experienced all sorts of danger at some point to know why you respond the way you do.

but you didn't have any experience. up until now, you were a completely normal sixteen year old with a normal(-ish) life. somehow, your quick reactions and responses were already hardwired into you. with these sharp instincts, you quickly became a better fighter than even your brother.

skirk frowns at your words. "he should have. there's a lot of potential in you, and you're only just now tapping into it. now," she taps you twice, "let's get back to it."

you groan and stand, ignoring the screaming of your joints.

"oh, and one more thing." skirk pats your shoulder fondly. "happy birthday, kid. let's go."

you gape at your instructor. you never told her your birthday.

somehow, between the hellish training and near death experiences, you found a family in the people you met in the abyss.

your 17th birthday came and went, and before you knew it, you'd been in the abyss for six months.

by this point, you've grown close to the abyss prince

he's incredibly multi-faceted, which made more sense to you when you learned that he wasn't even a being from this world

he's a lot more terrifying and powerful than he looks, which didn't surprise you, considering you could feel power rolling off of him from the moment you met

you also learn that he's a twin and that they're separated from each other. he looks so guilty when he tells you the story.

"i walked away from her." aether says with a bitter smile. "i can't leave this place -- these people. not until i've finished what needs to be done. i'm sure she'll understand soon."

you hum in understanding. if ajax was here for three months, then surely he knew about this too. you wonder, distantly, if you'll be able to reconnect with him after this. "can i ask what your sister's name is?"

aether's smile becomes fond as several memories flash before his eyes. "lumine." he murmurs her name so softly; so reverently. you smile in return. you get that feeling. "her name is lumine."

"i was going to liyue to meet her," you inform the prince. his eyes widen a fraction, but he doesn't look displeased. "ajax talks so highly of her, so i wanted to be her friend."

aether rests a hand on your head. your smile fades when you think that he reminds you of ajax.

"she'd love you as much as i do." the prince says.

you find a family during your time down there.

what happens when you leave?

reality is not as kind to you as i've made it seem

age means nothing in the abyss. you are not spared a single detail. you know everything from your time there.

you fight alongside the remaining peoples of khaenri'ah, doing the job that the famed twilight sword could not.

you are highly respected and feared, but you become jaded in response.

you earn your electro vision while fighting monsters, but it means nothing to you. not when you know what you know.

a year passes in the abyss before you are told by albedo that you should leave with him.

(assuming that ajax was in the abyss for three months but was only missing for 3 days, the same would apply to you. 12 months = 12 days.)

he has responsibilities in mondstadt, but he can ensure that you arrive in liyue safely.

he, like aether, kaeya, and skirk, have become family to you, so saying your goodbyes is a tearful affair

sort of. you haven't cried in almost 5 months now, but you're not emotionless. you don't know the next time you'll see aether or skirk again, so its only natural you get choked up

you take albedo's hand and suddenly... you're in liyue harbor. you have no idea how he managed to get you here, but before you can thank him, he's gone.

you're on your own now, but it doesn't daunt you much. you decide to sightsee before setting off to find your brother.

ajax has become... secondary.

it ticks you off that the people of liyue hold rex lapis in such high regard. if only they knew how much blood their beloved archon had on his hands.

you're also disgusted with your former self; you can't believe you once thought the tsaritsa was worthy of respect. going home seems like a terrible idea.

keep in mind, you're still just a kid, but you've adopted the mind of a warrior -- of a soldier.

(although you will admit, it's strange having had a birthday in the abyss only to re-emerge and still technically be sixteen, but we move)

you have the marks of a soldier all over you; the faded bruises, the scars, fresh and old alike

the calloused hands, the honed senses..

you and ajax are now on the same page; you both see yourselves as weapons

but now, you are weapons pointed at each other.

what does he think when he sees you?

after being your own tour guide and familiarizing yourself with liyue harbor, you decide that it's finally time to face your brother.

you head to northland bank and walk in with your head held high. you know how the people of snezhnaya judge those who look as though they don't belong. the fatui, as snezhnayan citizens, must be even worse than the average person.

you may have been raised in a home overflowing with love, but just outside that home was a nation so unforgiving, even the weather acted as judge, jury, and executioner on behalf of the citizens.

you make your way to the receptionist and keep your expression as blank as possible. "i'm here for the eleventh." you say. it rubs you the wrong way having to address your brother in such a manner, but you brush it off. "where is he?"

the receptionist, ekaterina, glares at you suspiciously from behind her mask. she must be sizing you up. "i'm afraid i don't know who you're referring to." she answers you slowly. "did your parents ask you to say something like this?"

you actually chortle. she has a point; you may not feel like it, but you're still a child. plus, kaeya taught you that you shouldn't try to make yourself tough. doing that would make you seem like an inexperienced idiot. ekaterina asks you what's funny and you shake your head.

"it's nothing. no, my parents didn't put me up to this." you drop your shoulders and roll them back. you'd been holding them so high this whole time because you've never had to put your training into practice on actual people before. the tension seeps right out of you as you realize how easy this is. "i know what i said. should i not have called him the eleventh? should i call him by name?" you smirk when the receptionist begins to fluster. "what? did you think i didn't know who he was?"

"i... would advise against it." ekaterina says. she looks left and right before calling another employee over. they discuss something in hushed tones for a moment before you see the other person start ushering people out of the bank.

confused, you put your hands behind your back and grab your wrist. the sudden emptying of the bank puts you on edge, but you know better than to call on your weapon before your potential opponent does. "is there a reason for this?" you ask as politely as you can muster.

ekaterina gestures to the door and you turn to see two fatui agents blocking it. that was your only exit. "miss, either you explain what's going on, or i find the eleventh myself." you warn lowly. "i'd rather not do the latter."

the receptionist ignores you. "you're a dangerous person, calling on lord harbinger so freely. rather than trouble him with your presence, i believe we should handle you first."

you sigh. not even six hours on the surface and you're already being challenged. you release your wrist and shake your head. you know what you came here for; if your brother was going to be the one to handle you, then you'd prefer that.

"i'd rather not harm you and your co-workers, ma'am." you tilt your head in an attempt to come across as harmless as possible, but you feel the presence of the two fatui agents slowly approaching from behind you. did they think you wouldn't notice them because of their cloaking? "you have about five seconds before i call on him myself. i know he's here."

"your bluffing skills need work, little one." is all ekaterina says before she tilts her chin up. it must be a signal, because the two fatui agents are suddenly speeding at you from both sides.

you avoid them with ease and use all the air in your lungs to call for your brother. "ajax!"

"alright, alright."

to the surprise of the agents who have their knives pointed at your throat, ajax strides down the stairs in the back, his face dark. "is all of this really necessary?" he's speaking to the agents, who have all bowed before him. "who could possibly warrant this kind of behavior from you?"

you clear your throat, forcing your brother to look your way. you wiggle your fingers in greeting and laugh at his expression. "i think they mistook me for someone else." you chuckle.

ajax's humorous expression becomes unreadable very quickly. it's hard to pinpoint what exactly he's feeling as he looks at you. "you..." he murmurs. he steps towards you and holds your face in his hands as gently as his hands possibly can. he flicks his other hand to dismiss the remaining agents, his eyes not leaving yours for a second. "you're here..?"

your smile grows tight with confusion. "uh.. yes? are you gonna start interrogating me now?"

ajax puffs out a breath. "no, that's not..." he suddenly pulls you into a bone-crushing hug.

"a-ajax, this wasn't the reunion i had in mind," you wheeze as you struggle to hug him back. "are you happy to see me or not?"

your brother sniffs softly. "mom told me... you'd gone missing." his voice is quiet and shaky. even before his return from the abyss, he would always lower his voice when he was on the brink of tears. "you ran away from home, didn't you..?"

you're not sure what kind of sharp pain stabs your chest, but you think it might be guilt. without thinking, you did the exact same thing to your parents that your brother did, except this time, they must genuinely believe that you're dead. you tighten your hold on ajax. "i was coming to see you," you confess. "you made lumine sound really cool, so i... i left. i, uh.." you grimace slightly. "got lost."

ajax lets you go at that and goes back to staring at you so intently, you think he's looking for something. just then, you think he finds it, because he suddenly looks disturbed. "you got lost." he repeats. there's something stony and suspicious in his tone. you don't like it. "where exactly? do you know?"

he knows you're lying. or at least, it seems that way. you decide to play dumb. "i dunno," you lie, "i've never been outside snezhnaya."

that part wasn't a lie, but ajax still looks at you in disbelief. "you're not telling me everything." he's starting to glare at you now. "tell me the truth."

"i told you the truth, ajax."

"people don't just go for missing for twelve days, come back alive, and have no recollection of what happened." ajax crosses his arms over his chest. you're picking up on some growing hostility. not disappointment, not relief... hostility. "either tell me the truth, or--"

"or what?" you snap. you knew things would be different when you got back, but you didn't think it would be like this. part of you wanted to keep your relationship with ajax intact, but as the two of you go on your guard, you know that that's not going to be possible. "what will you do, ajax? fight me over a lie?"

ajax's eyebrows twitch. "why do you think i'm going to fight you? do i look like i am?"

"don't act stupid," you gesture to his posture. he's not in any fighting stance, but experience tells you that he's preparing himself for battle. you're not sure if he's going to go on offense or defense, but it doesn't matter. he's wary of you, and he's doing a terrible job of hiding it. "you're terrible at masking bloodlust, ajax."

your brother visibly tenses and takes a step back. recognition flashes in his eyes. "what did you say?"

"i said you fucking suck at hiding when you want to fight. be more subtle about it. i don't wanna fight you anyways." a part of you begins to ache at the way ajax is acting, but at his core, he's the servant of the very archons you were now trained to resist. he was your enemy now, whether you liked it or not.

the ache spreads through your whole body and your frustration fizzles out. why did it have to be this way? you started your journey just to see ajax, so why? why was he looking at you like that? you reach towards him. "i really, really don't want to fight you, ajax." you say brokenly. "please."

ajax doesn't share in your sentiments. you've never seen him in action before, but now, you think you understand what his enemies feel when he's before them. he shakes his head slightly, his expression pained. "would you stop saying my name like that?"

"what? ajax, i--"

"only my family calls me by that name," he cuts in sharply.

tears sting your eyes. "ajax..."

"you're not my little sibling." it looks like it hurts him to say it -- like he doesn't believe the words coming out of his own mouth, but he continues. "i don't know who you are, but you aren't them." he pauses to turn some words over in his mouth. "but... if you are, then... i need you to tell me the truth."

you shake your head. "of course i'm your little sibling! b-but i can't tell you everything, okay? i want to, i do, but skirk, she--" your throat closes. you've said too much.

ajax rushes forward and holds your shoulder tightly. "you met her. i fucking knew something was wrong with you -- that's where you were."

"i c-can't say anymore than that," you cry, tears falling on their own accord. you were so close to losing ajax completely just now. even if you two could never be what you once were, you didn't want to lose your brother. he was all you had now -- if you went home, they'd likely give you the same treatment they gave him. "i was there, but i can't--"

"twelve days... a fucking year?" ajax looks mortified at the thought of being in the abyss for so long. shattered sympathy fills his eyes. "what happened to you?"

you shake your head mutely. you've already said too much. if you say anymore, you might ruin the delicate balance that aether's worked so hard to maintain. so you hug your brother, finally sobbing as the horrors of the past year replay in your mind.

it was terrifying, what happened there. the things you saw and learned were enough to bring the strongest person to their knees. but you, a mere child, stuck around for an entire year, fighting a war you had no business being involved in. you were exhausted and damaged, and you nearly lost the only family you had left.

ajax presses you to his chest, shushing you quietly. "alright, alright. you're safe now." you sob again, and he sighs shakily. if you could see him, you'd see the silent tears on his face. "you're safe."

✧ it's been like. six hours. i really hope this didn't fall apart at the end... anyways, i suppose i'll announce that i'm planning an interactive story event to celebrate reaching 400! it's still in the planning stage, but i just wanted to let you guys know bc i'm really excited :D okay i hope you enjoyed it bye !

doodles inspited by @pbeltarts titanic au cause i’m always a hoe for pretty ladies on period drama costumes

pairing: aventurine x reader | fluff with vv light angst (tbh its only kinda implied) | wc: 347

a/n: i had the urge, i felt the need, i wanted to use his real name. i love it. it makes him him.

“kakavasha!” you chant his name like a prayer, full of hope. you let out a loud sigh of relief upon seeing your boyfriend opening his eyes.  “finally you're awake, i was worried sick!”

your hands rested on his shoulders, pursing your lips as your eyes scan his face for any signs of discomfort.

huh. why did you look so perplexed? it hit him when he felt a cool droplet glide down his warm cheek. was he seriously tearing up right now? and why'd it feel like he was burning up, cold sweat was glistening on his skin and his head felt dizzy.

just what in the world was happening?

“thank god you're awake! i tried to shake you awake for the past five minutes now. because you kept whispering something about a grand death and kept moving uncomfortably.” your right hand reaches out to the lobe of his ear to play  with his turquoise peacock feather-like earring, tangling it around your fingers.

oh, so that's what it's all about.

“are you alright?” your eyes darted over his handsome face, skin almost as pale as porcelain and eyes alluring as ever.

“if something or someone is bothering you, let's talk about it. or resort to violence, i’ll kick their ass, whichever you prefer!” you lightly chuckle. 

“don't try to take the burden all upon yourself, okay?” , shooting him a look that says “i’m always here for you, don’t forget that - don’t forget me.”

upon hearing that he can only smile fondly. after all, he loves you and his family more than anything and anyone - even more than himself.

but perhaps, perhaps this wasn't the right time to tell you. at least not yet. the right time will eventually come - no it will come. he has everything planned out.

“don't worry. i’m fine, everything is and will continue to stay fine. trust me.” he reassures you before suddenly pulling you into a tight embrace, being pulled onto his lap as your head is buried into the crook of his neck.

“let’s stay like this for a bit longer. please.”

© TOORURS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms is not permitted.

𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅'𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔.

synopsis. how they would react and cope after you left their lives. characters. jing yuan, dan heng, blade, gepard x gn!reader (separate) author's note. congrats, you have made it to the vault (carlyle's version). due to the 1.2 update i will not shut up about hsr and speak now tv. sorry if this was short, the writer's block is still kinda there. lmk if u want any other character!

jing yuan would be a bit more dignified about losing you. after all, after everything he has witnessed in his long, long life, he knew that it would only be inevitable that he would lose you, too. but for the amount of loss that he has experienced, it did not make it any easier for him to cope. your presence always made everything just a tad bit bearable and he missed that sorely. on the outside, jing yuan would make sure that he would seem fine, greeting everyone warmly and nodding to their consolations, but the moment the public's eyes are off him, he'd be devoid of any emotion. you had always likened jing yuan to the sun, he'd remember, before you went on a tangent about his eyes again, but the true sun in his life was you. and you were gone.

dan heng would immediately blame himself. no matter the circumstance, he'd chalk it up to the karma of being with someone like him. it was apparent how much happier you made him when you were together — the astral express would always comment how he seemed to glow around you despite the neutral expression he always wore — that everything just turned dead when you were gone. at least, that's how it was like for him. no more of indulging in the silly romantic antics that you'd drag him in — oh, how he'd give anything for one last adventure with you. dan heng would spend most of his time locked in the archives after this, his mind awake and going over every tender memory you shared with him. his most favorite one was when you sung to him; now, it'd be the only voice haunting him before he fell into the deepest slumber.

blade would not believe it first. you made a promise to him that you would stay with him, no matter how long it takes. you promised that to him, and he does not take the promise of forever lightly. when the undeniable is presented to him, blade would lose control over the overflowing emotion in him. he's in despair, he's seething in anger, he's breaking down in labored cries, even kafka does not want to be around him when he'd be experiencing all these at once. he'd curse his immortality again over and over, wishing that the universe would finally grant him his wish to die, because all he wants now is to be reunited in your arms, your hand gently stroking his hair and your voice whispering to him that you were there and you were fine. he would swear to never love again, not like how he loved you.

gepard would break down at the news. rightfully, it was unbecoming of the captain to react in such a public manner, but he did not care. you had always made sure he was taking care of himself, that he'd just condemn himself for losing the best thing that ever happened to him. he'd work thrice as hard and sink himself deeper into his duties afterwards. as you were no longer there to chastise him for overworking himself to the bone, gepard would be prone to collapsing every time he pushed himself too hard. even when serval would call him out on this self destructive behavior, he wouldn't listen. some nights, he'd swear that he, delirious and sleep deprived, sees you standing right next to him, a frown on your face as he stayed up all night to finish the documents. "don't look at me like that" he'd say, but how he would wish for you to say something to reprimand and snap him out of it.

written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)

Hello wello, may I request the genshin tall bois (Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli) with a gn reader where reader really likes them and its not a secret that theyve been trying to win them over but a situation forced the bois to admit that they hated/find reader annoying and they didnt know that reader heard everything. (Did that make sense?) please feel free to pour truck tons of angst. Whether it has comfort in the end is up to u :3. I hope you have a great day ❤️

— # 🫐Listening To The Truth | Genshin ✘ Reader(s) Hcs

⤤ Summary: The reader is ready to truly confess to the *genshin character* they like until they hear that Genshin character mention their name. Stating how annoying they are around them, and how they can’t stand them or working near them. Which breaks the reader’s heart.

⤤ Notes: I tried to make this as long as I could, and I also apologize for this request since it took longer than it should have. So like… yeah. I did two characters for now because I am hella tired, Kaeya & Zhongli will be added later. Also if this is seen without Childe or empty paragraphs, I accidentally published it without it being finished… also childe’s part is toxic. Don’t think what he is doing is correct.

⤤ Characters: Diluc & Childe.

Warnings: Heartbroken, Sad, Slight Suicidal Thoughts + Angst + Comfort & Toxicity From Childe

Diluc | Hard Truth

You managed to find yourself walking around Mondstalt looking for Jean. Seeing if she was with Lisa or Kaeya. Today would be one of the days where you were going to the Tavern and ask Diluc for some help.

Not that you really needed any, but because you wanted to express your true feelings to him. Cause trying to suppress those feelings inside was already hard enough.

You continued to walk closer to the tavern, realizing it was a bit too late for it to not be open. But you could see that door was slight open, so you peaked through it to see if anyone was inside.

In your sight you could see Jean and Diluc talking quite loudly from behind the counter. Listening to them talking about commissions and etc.

“Diluc, perhaps I should have [Name] show you” you heard Jean mention your name as a suggestion. “They know more about the hilichurls than most of us.”

You grew with excitement. If by all means you could spend more time with Diluc. There would be no point in complaining. Though the only thing that could be a pain in the ass would be fighting those hilichurls all day.

They were quite an annoying breed.

“No thank you.” You hear Diluc say coldly. Your once flustered heart, dropped.

“Why?” Jean asked and Diluc huffed loudly. You pressed your ear closed to the door.

“I am not fond of their behavior. They annoy me, at a great level. I can’t dare to spend another day with them distracting me from my work. They are just too… joyful.” He went on to complain. Each word leaving his lips making cracks in your heart. “They can be strong all they want, they’d be the reason of my death due to their annoyance.”

Slowly tears started to pour from your eyes as you stood up straight once more. Pressing your hand to your nose to keep the sniffles muffled, before running off quite loudly. But away from the tavern. Jean swiftly turned her head to the tavern doors and raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.

“You hear that?”

“Hmm?”

You ran as far as you could feeling your beating heart, crack like a fragile mirror. So with every few steps you took, you would try to wipe at the tears running down your face. But it didn’t work. It never worked.

You continued to run up the stairs, near the church. Before finding a nearby bench, where not many people or citizens were at.

You just lowered your head hoping no one would notice your tears that laid on face and fell to your lap. You were ready to continue your sobbing, until someone sat besides you.

“Kaeya?” You asked turning your head, swiftly to the right. Kaeya smirked slightly, and raised an eyebrow as to why you had so many tears coming down from your face.

“I saw you running here, so I assumed it was an emergency” he started.

“Oh…” you mumbled. “My apologies then”

He let out a chuckle.

“Why are you crying?” Kaeya asked, grabbing your chin with his hand, and wiping your tears away.

You couldn’t help but let out more sobs. But after some time, the words came out of your lips like a sweet melody.

— — —

For the next following weeks, you grew quite quiet, and just stayed neutral when you were with Diluc. You didn’t laugh, or joke with him like you usually did. Didn’t go to ask him of his favorite things nor asked how his day went. You just went and killed hilichurls and reported it to Jean.

And you stayed extremely quiet when it came to talking with Diluc or Jean. Whether they asked how your day went, or if you needed help. The most they could and would get is a nod or shaking head from you.

But of course when you were in the comfort of your house, behind doors, you were secretly in a relationship with Kaeya. You never wanted it to be too open to the public, but he did tease you a lot. Which made some of the knights question the two of you.

When you two were together at home, you both would either cook with each other, read books, do work, or sleep besides each other. Or just cuddle for hours. Usually the choice was up to you.

“[Name]” Jean called out walking down from one of the hallways. “Have you seen Diluc?”

You shook your head. And darted towards the doors, in a hurry to leave the place. Jean got a bit nervous and started to feel guilty, realizing that you weren’t like you’re usual self.

They had enough knights that have been traumatized and you were the only one who was actually able to spread some joy. But now seeing that you were no longer capable of doing that, she started to question if it was because of her.

When you walked outside, Diluc noticed your presence. But you didn’t notice him, and he watched you walk to the area where some of the Barbara fan clubs would be near. Especially Albert.

Usually in that area where many leaves would pile up and the traveler (aka Honorary Knight) would be forced to clean. Diluc started to follow you.

Even he has been curious on why you didn’t act the same. And as much as he wanted to admit that he preferred you to not be so loud. He quite missed it. Because after these few weeks and nearly a month passing, he realized that he feelings for you.

Feelings he realized he didn’t have before. So when he followed you, and realized you ran into Kaeya’s arms with such joy sparkling in your eyes as Kaeya picked you up. His heart didn’t shatter. But he could feel it drown.

Drowning in regret.

Childe | Rude Truth

You smiled wildly, as you entered the bank, and entering one of the back halls to go and see if Childe was still lingering in this fancy place. You could hear Childe’s voice coming from his office. As you could hear Scara’s voice as well.

So you stopped carefully right in front of his door. Hearing the two of them speak.

“I can do it myself, asshole.” Scara complained. “Besides why don’t you go and train with [Name]?”

You hear Childe let out a brutal chuckle.

“I hate them, that’s why.”

That one sentence. Left a crack right down in the middle of your heart. Making you feel disappointed and sad. The way the word left his lips were just so… cold.

“Cannot blame you, huh? They piss me off too.” Scara added, and it was enough for you to hear before tears ran down your face.

You ran away from the door loudly, running away as fast as you could and darting out through the main entrance. Running as fast as you could down a few more steps before crashing right into Zhongli.

Tears getting on his cloths due to you.

“Oh my archon!” You exclaimed, embarrassed and trying to hide away the tears. “I am so heavenly sorry!”

Zhongli let out a sigh gesturing his hands that it was fine.

“I am fine… but are you?” Zhongli asked, before wiping off some dirt he got on your shoulders. You couldn’t help but shake off your head.

He patted your head a little bit, as he wrapped an arm around your waist, and having to be by your side while you ranged and complained about what happened. While Childe secretly watched from the balcony.

— — —

After a couple of weeks you managed to get over Childe, and found yourself in a romantic relationship with Zhongli.

He was much better than Childe. He treated you correctly and always praised you for your hard work. Which was something Childe didn’t take very lightly. He didn’t realize how he felt until after he stated his hatred towards you.

It was hard when he was so used to you, running up to him and asking how is day went. It’s like you guys were already in a relationship. Which is why he didn’t take it kindly when you got in a relationship with Zhongli. He felt cheated on.

Now that you no longer clinged onto him, it pissed him every second of the day. So while he watched you right now, drinking tea with Zhongli outside, directly underneath the bridge type of balcony he was standing at.

He slowly wielded his bow, aiming it towards you. Making sure it would hit right in the middle of your neck. So that it could be an instant death. He kept fighting with his brain that it wasn’t fair. How he lost you so easily.

It wasn’t fair. It never was fair.

“If I had to suffer… he should too” Childe mumbled.

He released the arrow.

they say something they don’t mean | valentines special! (part two)

includes diluc, kaeya, childe, and zhongli

✦ angst with no comfort, except for zhongli’s

i just really can’t see him saying something that mean i’m sorry

g/n reader as always!

y’all didn’t actually think i wouldn’t post angst for valentines day … right? enjoy <3

*note: there’s a slight mention of diluc’s past in his section that some might not know about. you can look here on the wiki to read about it, or skip it if you don’t want spoilers.

part one | the moment they fell for you with diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli, and xiao

— diluc

diluc can hardly even look at you. he needs to calm down, he can feel his rational slipping — but every time he pictures you recklessly running into the middle of a battle, an unbearable rage shoots through him.

“diluc, you’re being childish—“

“oh, i’m being childish? this is ridiculous, i can’t believe you,” he spits. “that was quite possibly the dumbest decision you’ve ever made. i don’t even know why i bother to bring you along with me anymore.”

you scoff, eyes narrowing. “you’re kidding, right? i’ve saved your ass on numerous occasions, sorry for the inconvenience.”

his jaw clenches as diluc struggles to keep his temper, shaking his head at your words. “what you did today was idiotic. had i not reached you in time, you wouldn’t be standing here at this moment.”

you continue to glare at him, eyes hardening as you say, “well, i guess we didn’t all have the luxury of training with the knights.”

he snaps.

diluc visibly seems to bristle as the simmering anger in his eyes begins to burn brighter. he takes a step toward you, not noticing the fresh fear in your gaze.

“how dare you?” he growls, voice growing louder as he continues to speak. “i have done nothing but babysit you ever since we met — i let you join me on my errands because i thought it would help you find a sense of worth, but i suppose it was useless. you’re nothing but a burden.”

you swallow before quietly asking, “is that how you really feel?” he huffs out a humorless laugh that only makes your heart ache more, the man standing in front of you seeming more and more like a stranger.

“why would i waste my time lying?”

you have no response as you stare back at him, the shock and hurt evident in your eyes. he drops his gaze. 

“i think it would be best if you left,” he says, voice low and threatening. you’re quick to turn and briskly walk out the door, leaving diluc alone with his thoughts. his mind begins to clear as soon as he realizes what he said, an overwhelming wave of guilt washing over him. he quickly makes his way outside, sighing in relief when he sees your figure walking away from the winery.

he catches up to you, panic setting in when you refuse to look at him. “please, we should talk—”

“i want nothing to do with you,” you retort, trying to quicken your pace. “leave me alone.”

“i shouldn’t have said that,” he tries, stepping in front of you. you glare up at him, and diluc feels his heart crack when he sees the tears welling in your eyes. “please come back with me, we need to talk about this.” he gently tries to reach for your hand, eyes widening when he sees you flinch away. 

were you scared of him?

“there’s nothing to talk about.” your voice is small, yet he can still sense the hurt in it. “let me go, diluc.”

“i—”

“move.” reluctantly, he moves to the side, watching hopelessly as you walk away. 

diluc swears his world gets a bit dimmer when he realizes he might have lost you for good.

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I told myself I’d draw something serious and detailed but then-

Hot Spring

Original artist: こえだ (koeda) ll twitter

Source: here ll chinese ver.

🍒 Please do not repost! 🍒

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