I'm Half Mexican, And For Me, That Food Is Tacos. Now Since I'm Also Half-white, And A Semi-picky Eater,

Okay but Maria looks so cute in this art style. Like...... LOOK AT HER!!!!!

The cutest 🦔🌼

Me: *looks at Genie laws* Huh.... Okay looks like it's allowed. Master: I'm a lawyer Me: That explains it.

You are a genie. Predictably, your latest master uses their first wish to wish for infinite wishes, but you tell them you’re unable to give infinite wishes. What you didn’t expect was that they would instead use their first wish to wish that you were able to give infinite wishes.

Please don't call us out like this...

My mom showing me "hot", buff, alpha males she took from Google: "Do you think he's attractive? He looks really nice!"

Me thinking about stinky opossum guys who look like they've been out in the rain for 13 days: "Yeah I guess I dunno.."

Wife: STOP SLOBERING ON THE DAMN COUCH! Me: MAKE ME! *puts daughter on back and I run away, both of us laughing* Wife: WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU

Slowly turning into a werewolf after being bitten by one, you were terrified of losing your mind, and hurting your wife or daughter. Turns out, there wasn’t any need for worry, since wolves are extremely loyal to their mate and their children. Life changes in unexpected but fun ways.

Guy: YOU STUPID BITCH! I FUCKING TUTORED YOU FOR NOTHING?! Me: WELL YOU SUCK AS A TEACHER YA CUNT!

You are “the guy”, when something needs to be done, something needs to be fixed, when governments, billionaires or very important people need something done and someone says “I know a guy”, you are that guy. Now you are facing what may be your hardest job.

"You gave me up thinking I didn't have any powers! What makes you think I'll let you back into my life! I'm happy with my mom and the life I have now! She loved me and didn't care if I didn't have powers or not!" I yelled at them, tears running down my face (continue this with the reblogs! Cause I was see the stories others make!)

You were abandoned by your family for not having superpowers. The strongest superheroine adopts you and loves you as her son regardless. When you finally have superpowers, your former family wants you back but you don’t want to do anything with them.

HOW????

I'm not gonna sugar coat it!!!!!

you're very beautiful.

and yeah,

you're gonna have to deal with that for the rest of your life

Me: THE FUCK IS THE COLOR KERIGN?

Technology has finally advanced to the point where humans can get surgery to see colors invisible to them before. However, this ends up letting them see things humans were never meant to comprehend…

This reminds me of how I act with a friend.... She's Raph but instead of Leo in the speech bubble...... It's FUCKING WILLAIM AFTON!!!! While I'm Mikey trying to get her to stop.

I will never shut up yall im sorry

First day of march :3