Men Are Just Incapable Of Creating Meaningful Friendships That Would Fullfill Their Emotional Needs And

I think Harmony could genuinely work. It's so interesting. Especially post war with emotional infidelity. I can only enjoy it without Ron bashing tho.

But doesn’t him saving the world (like defeating a whole Basilisk, always running, even at the tournament) plus the quidditch training he did, imply he was athletic? And people could even assume insanely. When he got put on the team it was because McGonagall saw his talent and potential. And it wasn’t even a full game. He was very talented (+ the boy who lived so people naturally gave him more attention) and athletic. Not in a buff macho way. Just in a strong, competent way.

So I think your original post is kind of wrong, that's what I wanted to say. But if you don’t see it then I suppose it's fine to leave it at that 🤷‍♀️

describing harry as "an insanely athletic man" while all he does is sit on a flying broom is crazy work

They think enemies to lovers is just negative or angry banter with a grudge.

I think term enemies to lovers is so waterdowned and that's why people think harrymort is weird

Now I have the urge to read Tonks/Snape for the first time in my life.

When Snape told Tonks her man was weak and she could do better, he ate.

Actually both Harry and Snape had full rights to turn evil ngl

"Harry also had a shitty childhood and was bullied, but he didn’t turn out like Snape."

True, because:

Harry found refuge at Hogwarts, where he felt welcomed, supported, and protected from the very beginning. Severus did not.

Harry had adult figures who protected him, cared about him (Hagrid, the Weasleys, Dumbledore, Lupin, Sirius...), and showed him affection over the years. Severus did not.

Harry had two friends who would have torn apart anyone who dared to strip him in front of the entire school. Severus did not.

Harry and Malfoy had a rivalry because they were on equal footing. Severus was bullied by a group of guys who attacked him together and were far above him socially and economically.

Harry was rich—disgustingly rich, to be exact. Severus was disgustingly poor.

Harry felt loved from the moment Hagrid came for him just after his 11th birthday. Severus never felt loved in his entire damn life.

Harry was favored by Dumbledore and other school staff on multiple occasions. Dumbledore forced Severus to stay silent about an attempted murder against him.

Harry had choices. Severus had nothing.

think all of my problems would be fixed if sirius and james kissed every once in a while

Do you think James and Sirius bullied Severus frequently? Since we only have one memory, perhaps it was especially brutal that day because of the Shack incident? Or maybe this was simply the norm for their interactions. The fact that everyone around laughed tells me this type of thing did happen at least once before. I can't imagine most people not being shocked if this were the first time Sirius and James had treated Severus so harshly.

Severus clearly had a bad reputation (although not because of anything bad he did). The fact that he immediately knew what was coming the moment he heard their voices in the memory - and was described as twitchy - suggests he had adapted a defensive stance in this environment. This implies the bullying must have been somewhat frequent. But what did it actually look like?

James and Sirius clearly felt entitled to bully him, even just to get rid of their boredom. But were these actions common, or was it particularly brutal that day due to the Shack incident and other circumstances?

Yes, James and Sirius frequently bullied Severus, and the narrative makes this quite clear through multiple hints. SWM scene in is the only one Rowling shows us directly, but it is not an isolated incident; there is enough context in the books to infer that the bullying was constant:

-When Harry sees Snape’s memory, the narration emphasizes that Severus tenses up and assumes a defensive stance the moment he hears James and Sirius’s voices, indicating that he is already used to being their target. If this kind of attack were an exception, his initial reaction would be one of surprise rather than resignation.

-The other students do not seem shocked or outraged; in fact, many laugh or just watch without intervening. This suggests that this behavior was normal and recurring. If James and Sirius had attacked someone randomly or without precedent, the reaction would likely have been different.

-Sirius mentions in PoA that "it was just something between Snape and us." Moreover, in OotP Lupin—who tends to be more impartial—acknowledges that James was "a bit of an idiot" and that his behavior towards Snape was unjustifiable. This confirms that the bullying was not a one-time thing.

-The mere fact that James called Snape "Snivellus" suggests a pattern of constant mockery. Offensive nicknames typically arise in contexts of systematic bullying, not from a single episode.

-Snape and the Marauders did not just argue in class or have an intellectual rivalry; their relationship was marked by animosity that went beyond academics. This is evident in the fact that Sirius once tried to lure Snape into the Shrieking Shack to be killed by a werewolf. Such an extreme act does not occur in the context of occasional teasing but rather in a sustained hostility dynamic.

-The fact that Sirius and James decided to attack him simply because they were bored suggests that this was a habitual occurrence. The difference may have been the brutality of the attack itself, but the underlying attitude remained the same.

My logical brain agrees, but my heart can't help but support unethical haterism. To some degree it will always slip, unfortunately...

On ethical haterism in fandom & how to be an ethical hater 

Being a hater (sharing negative opinions about tropes, ships, characters, and trends in fandom) is fun and often tempting. Being a skilled and ethical hater is even more fun, though difficult to achieve. 

(This is pretty HP focused. While all fandoms have an unethical hater problem, HP fandom has a particular dynamic where people are quick to feel guilty about fandom participation due to jkr being awful and then project that guilt onto others by trying to identify other people in fandom as being ‘bad’ so they can feel ‘good’ in comparison.) 

Number one question: Are you enjoying yourself? If you’re not, then stop. You cannot be an ethical fandom hater if you yourself are not having fun and are instead making yourself miserable by being a hater. None of these other factors are relevant if you’re not having fun. Take a break from fandom and go outside instead.  

The next consideration is space - public vs private and the specifics of social media platforms. 

You’re almost always being an ethical hater if you’re bitching and laughing in your friend’s DMs. You’re never being an ethical hater if you’re on Tiktok or another algorithm based platform where people cannot avoid your content showing up on their pages. Discord servers and tumblr posts are where it gets complicated. Make a good faith effort to make sure anyone who wants to avoid your hater content is able to do so via appropriate tagging or sticking to approved channels within the discord server. 

Next: humor

If you’re being mean, you better be very funny. If you’re not funny, you probably can’t get away with being mean. Be less mean. 

The best of ethical haterism is creative and funny and active. It is about creating and enjoying yourself with friends more than it is about tearing others down – even if you are mocking people and ships and characters! 

A useful question to ask: could a reasonable person with a different opinion from you find what you’re doing funny? (This is different from: can the absolute worst, whiniest, most sensitive person in fandom find what you’re doing funny?)

Things that are never ethical haterism: 

Making accusations about individual people’s politics, values, and identities based on their preferences for ships and characters. General rule: if you (or the people you surround yourself with) are throwing out the words ‘nazi,’ ‘pedophile,’ ‘freak’ or ‘bigot,’ you’re not being an ethical hater. 

Things I have seen that are not ethical haterism and are simply asshole behavior: accusing anyone who doesn’t like femme Sirius of being homophobic or transphobic, accusing anyone who ships any Death Eater/order member ship of being a nazi, accusing Snape stans of being incels, accusing anyone who ships Snarry or any student/teacher ship of being a pedophile etc.

Note: Ethical haterism is separate from critiquing fandom trends and the influence of broader politics on how we engage with fandom. It is asshole behavior to make specific accusations of individual people based on their ships, headcanons, and art, but it is reasonable (and I’d say good!) to examine how white supremacy/patriarchy/capitalism show up in trends in fandom. 

Things that are asshole behavior and never ethical haterism: commenting rudely on fics, talking publicly about specific fics you hate, deliberately going into ship tags to start fights, making accusations, generally being unpleasant. 

The two fundamental questions of being an ethical hater: 

Is what you’re doing making fandom more fun, more creative, more engaging, more lively, more connected? 

Are you sensitive to the idea that some people might not enjoy seeing this content and want to make sure it’s possible for them to avoid it? 

That’s my theory. Thoughts?

Spot the difference

Dolores Umbridge, who was a quiet, insecure and unpleasant child in her first years, was one day in her 6th year paired up with Regulus Black. They had a similar work ethic, and that’s where their quiet camaraderie started. But since she wasn’t a pureblood and wasn’t much to look at, he kept to himself and mostly ignored her presence.

But in their 7th year, everything changed when they had a casual encounter that led to a deeper talk, where they both realized their ideas for the wizarding future were the same and their passion was just as intense. They talked for hours about Voldemort, exchanged ideas on the many ways Muggleborns and half-breeds should be subjugated, and developed mutual crushes.

Regulus, whose passion and intellect weren’t always reciprocated and who was a lonely boy, found solace and friendship in Dolores, and they both enjoyed each other’s presence while it lasted.

Then Regulus died, and Dolores’s heart hardened with a mission to keep going and succeed at what she had dreamed about with Regulus. She suppressed her pain, became a Ministry worker, and pledged to make the lives of half-breeds and Mudbloods worse. Her loneliness, and the only ounce of deep connection she had ever been given—whom she now grieved for—kept driving her actions.