Me: *peeling Potatoes In The Sink*

me, at work: man... I'm so lucky to have this job...................................................................................................................... i wanna go home

there's two wolves inside me when I'm writing fanfic:

the wolf that recognizes it's better if I write short fics so I don't get burnt out and actually finish them

and the wolf that remembers that one time the hyperfixation was so strong I wrote 7,000 words in one sitting

Right click -> save as -> ancient curse

april fools used to be such a big deal to me. now I let year after year pass without a single jape or gag performed

is this what it is to lose your childhood whimsy?

me when- me w- when I-

was walking in the woods, saw this chip bag stuck to the rocks in the river (creek?). so I subjected myself to the worst sensory experience known to man and took off my shoes to wade over slimy ass river (creek?) rocks to fish it out. almost slipped like 8 times, but we did it. consider the environment saved guys

yo check this out. Alexa, cure cancer

Alexa-

I'm exhausted like all the time. I can't drink coffee because it makes my stomach hurt and it makes me sleepy. but not sleepy enough to actually fall asleep. no sleeping medication has ever worked for me and medications that are supposed to make you drowsy as a side effect don't do shit to me

I was up until 5 am writing fanfic last night. I woke up at 9:30 this morning. this is the most rested I've felt in weeks

what the hell am I because I'm clearly not human

me: I gotta get up early so it's super important I get good sleep tonight

brain: i-important?? that's scary! too much pressure! noooo we should stay up watching youtube with steadily growing anxiety instead!