Good Thing He Didn't Overreact...

can i be added to the tag list for stupidly perfect it’s so good

done :]

hellooo, can i request a felix x fem!dating!reader where felix finds a used pregnancy test in the trash can, and freaks because it said positive and thought it was the readers? turns out its not, it was her friends, but he was super stressed and sad the he wasn’t told that ‘he was going to have a child’?(around comeback since that kinda fits in)

this was so cute :( writing sad felix almost broke my heart fr but we pushed through . . . here you goooo~

floral tea - lee felix x reader

pairing: lee felix reader

summary: when felix finds a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom bin, a few misunderstandings follow...

genre: sad confused felix, non-idol!au, mentions of pregnancy, pregnancy tests, piss (i promise it's one word lol i'm not sus like that), mentions of injury, blood, lots of tears from felix aww :(

a/n: divider by @g0ds-f4v-svp3rn0v4

skz masterlist

"Y/n, hey!"

You let out an excited squeal as you open the door, embracing Jiseo. It's been so long since you saw her; the last time you did, she was busy travelling for her career.

Her familiar warmth surrounds you like a fluffy blanket as you hug, and her sweet perfume lingers lightly in the summer air. No greater is the joy of meeting an old friend, and that too, completely on an unexpected whim.

"Come in," you say almost shakily from joy, cheeks flushed from the surprise.

She laughs and steps in. You switch on the kettle and sit down to talk with her as steam fills the kitchen. You sit and talk for what feels like hours, reminiscing and gossiping about almost everything. It's so good to see her again, and as a surprise, too...

You're just about to gratefully verbalize this to her when she places a hand over yours, leaning in a little.

"By the way, um, I kinda have something to tell you," she says, a little nervously, but still smiling.

You grin. "What is it?"

Jiseo laughs, though there's a hint of uncertainty behind it. "I, um- Y/n, I think I might be pregnant."

You spit out a mouthful of tea, spluttering ungracefully and splashing the table in floral essence. "What?!"

She nods, unfazed by your rather disgusting reaction. "Yeah, it- kinda just happened, you know?"

You lean forward, almost knocking over your mug, eyes so wide you're sure you look like an owl. "Do you know for sure?"

She shakes her head a little bashfully. "I don't really know... I just came here to you, because if I was going to find out, I wanted you to be with me... s-something like that anyway..."

You can't help the warm bubble that sits in your chest; Jiseo has always been so direct yet so shy at the same time. Her sentiment makes your cheeks tinge with colour as you squeeze her hand. She's probably terrified, poor thing.

"I have pregnancy tests upstairs, if you want to use one," you say, smiling gently. Her hands are clammy.

She exhales shakily. "W-would that be okay? Like, not an invasion of privacy, or-"

"Jiseo," you interrupt, chuckling. "It's okay. I promise, whether it's positive or not, I'll always be here for you. Now, go piss on that stick."

She laughs and gets up.

.

You carefully brew another cup of tea as a smile ghosts the corners of your mouth. Inhaling the scent of your second cup of goodness, you sit down in your previous spot and let your fingers skate over the smooth wooden table.

You can't believe Jiseo is pregnant. You couldn't be happier for her.

She left around an hour ago, after around two hours of excited screaming, cheering, and tears from the both of you. She had been terrified, but you spent so long reassuring her, and she'd gone home after disposing of the pregnancy test, in order to catch her breath before her lover came home. You wonder how they would react; they're a good person, and you hope that Jiseo feels supported and cared for throughout the whole process. You have no doubt that her and her partner are probably jumping for joy in the comfort of their own little home right now, and it makes you smile further.

You can faintly hear Felix coming through the front door now; there's the familiar, faint thuds as he kicks off his shoes and puts them to the side.

He comes into the kitchen, sunlight spilling across his frame, and you tilt your head to kiss him as he leans down to you in your chair.

"Hey, sunshine," he murmurs, stroking your hair.

"Hi. How was your day, hmm?"

He sighs and tugs off his tie. "Yeah, busy. Not too bad, though. I'm gonna get changed and then we can make dinner together?"

You nod and smile.

There's a brief moment of silence as Felix shuffles upstairs, his footsteps receding as he shuts the bathroom door. You sit and stare placidly out the window, absentmindedly sipping the cooling tea and absorbing the fading warmth of the mug.

All is quiet.

That is, until a blonde-haired tornado falls down the stairs and stumbles over to you, shirt askew and hair ruffled. You jump with a start and turn to him, about to ask what the matter is, but you're caught up short when you notice the tears pooling in his eyes.

"Love," he gasps, a borderline sob almost escaping. "What is this?"

He holds up a short, white stick and you squint, realising what it is.

Jiseo's pregnancy test.

She must have thrown it away afterwards in the bathroom bin.

You get up, holding out your hands, trying to calm Felix down and explain. "Sunshine, I-"

"No," he gasps. "No, you knew and you didn't tell me? You just threw the fucking test away- love, are you serious? Why would you do this? You didn't even think to call me when you found out you were gonna have a child? Our child?"

"Felix-"

The tears actually spill out of his eyes then, and a guilty look sets itself uncomfortably across his face. "But I swear, we were so careful- How could this happen, I didn't even know because you didn't even think to tell me you were going to eventually fucking give birth-"

"Felix!" You cry. "It's not mine, okay? Calm down."

He stops short, stuttering, tears still streaming down his cheeks in shock and distress. "What?"

You almost laugh, but then remember it might upset him further. He's still confused, after all, and he splutters further.

"W-what do you mean, it's not yours? Do you realise how bad that sounds? Wait, do you mean that the child isn't yours, or the test-"

"For goodness' sake, Felix, the test isn't mine," you say, exasperated as you tug him into a chair with some difficulty. His shirt slips off his collarbone, revealing the freckled, sun-kissed skin underneath. "One of my old friends showed up earlier and she took the test, because she had a hunch she might be pregnant. She must have thrown it away before leaving.."

He's silent for a moment, processing, and then he bursts into tears, upon which you just stare at him, utterly confused. Taking him into a hug, you let him rest his head against your stomach.

It's almost like he just got the news that he's pregnant, you think wryly. This is exactly how Jiseo reacted.

"Lix, honey," you say, a little softer. "It's okay."

"No, it's not," his muffled voice comes from your stomach. You can faintly feel tears soaking the fabric of your top. "I was so stressed, I thought we were gonna have a child, and around comeback season too, I was so scared trying to figure out how we were gonna manage it all-"

You shush and coo at him gently, stroking his ruffled hair, askew in all directions. "I'm sorry I scared you."

He shakes his head, his voice sounding faraway from where he's plowed his face into your middle. "I was worried for you too..."

You fight the warm feeling rising in your chest at his sincerity. He's never afraid to tell you how he feels, your Felix. You do feel bad for not realising Jiseo threw her test away and resultingly scaring the shit out of your lover, but you're glad that he cares enough to be upset about it.

Even if he was wrong.

You let your gaze wander down to where his hair is mussed against your shirt, and you can't help but notice the way his arms are wrapped so tightly around your waist, like he's afraid you'll float away if he lets go. You notice a small gash on his arm, the crimson startling against his pale, freckled skin.

You hum as he lifts his face, tear-streaked and swollen. "What'd you do to your arm?"

He sniffs. "I hit it on the doorway when I came down the stairs... I didn't even feel it."

You sigh, stroking the tiny, soft hairs at the back of his neck. "What am I gonna do with you, hmm?"

"Love me."

You chuckle. "Let's get you patched up."

a/n: listening to zero o'clock by bts while writing this and why does it fit so well . . . ttokki is sad now

Hi Ttokki! 😁 I just wanted to ask if you could possibly write some short scenarios of Stray Kids being protective over their ninth member!maknae!reader? 🙏

Here are some ideas: a staff member is rude/impatient with the reader for no reason; a fan is being weird (getting too close, saying uncomfortable things, asking weird things); the reader receives hate for something stupid (sweating, being "too" comfortable/close with the members, having a scar, acne, whatever); during a variety show, the reader is forced to face a phobia and even almost cries (snakes, spiders, insects, etc); because of some pain or uncomfortable outfit, the reader's vocals are unstable during a performance and people hate on it.

I know there are many ideas... you of course don't need to use them if you don't wanna. Or even do this request at all. 💕 Either way, I hope your life is full of happiness! 🫶

hii !! thank you for the request, anon <3 i think i might make this two parts lol . . . it might have gotten a bit long otherwise . i'll use the rest of your ideas in the maknaes' part . here you gooo~

protective!hyung line skz x maknae!9th member reader

pairing: protective!ot8!skz x maknae!9th member reader

summary: how skz would be protective of their maknae (that's you!)

genre: idol!au, 9th member!au, just hyung line being super sweet and protective, chan being intimidating asf, hyunjin being super cheeky but that's just who he is lmao (we love him really)

a/n: divider by @mikeykuns . also taglist is open for anyone who wants to join !

skz masterlist

Chan who firmly chides a staff member who's getting a little too riled up over a small mistake that you made during filming. He picks up the camera stand that you accidentally knocked over and guides you away, a hand on your back. Whispers a little joke to you and tries to make you smile in a bid to make you forget about being told off. Needless to say, that certain staff member seems to disappear when Chan is around you from then on, and you ask him if he did something to make that happen. He just looks away and suddenly changes the subject, and then later on, you notice that the staff member who kept telling you off is suddenly nowhere to be seen. Their belongings are gone from the desk and you're glad to see them gone, and you catch Chan smirking to himself as he shuts their empty office door.

Minho who glowers at a fan who's being just a little too flirty; he's sitting next to you for the fanmeeting, and there's a fluffy headband sitting on the crown of his head. It doesn't stop him from responding effortlessly to him own fan, but his hands tighten around the gifts in front of him as the creepy fan in front of you begins to inch a little closer over the table, reaching for your hands. As the fan doesn't notice his attempts to intimidate, he knocks over a bottle of water, spilling a long, thin stream of it over your side of the table, effectively creating a water line between you and the fan, and making said fan jump back in shock, complaining over soaked sleeves. Minho just winks at you and pokes your knee, muttering a rather vile phrase and making you giggle as the fan storms out.

Changbin who watches you trip over on stage as you walk up to begin your part of the song; your mic clatters to the floor and the entire audience holds their breath as you scramble to pick it up, cheeks scarlet from embarrassment. Your energy is dimmed for the rest of the performance, and you can practically feel the judging, disapproving stares of everyone in the crowd. That is, until you hear another clatter from in front of you, and realise that Changbin has dropped his mic too, leaning down to pick it up with a cheeky grin as he jumps back into place. Your heart rises, the weight lifted off of it as he shoots you a wink, reassuring and reckless. The murmurs get louder but now you couldn't care less, leaning down to whisper a thankyou to him as the choreo brings you closer to him. Later, his face will be proudly tinged with pink as you all walk off the stage.

Hyunjin who quickly changes the subject during an interview that's getting a little too personal, and leans down to put a hand on your shoulder as the interviewer starts getting a little too close. Interjects with loud laughing and funny skits to keep the attention off you, and his gaze is slightly maniacal as he eyes the interviewer, squeezing your shoulder before pulling away so the cameras don't pick it up. Is so smooth with it that you begin to feel more comfortable throughout the interview and you even become confident enough to question the interviewer himself, who stutters and changes the subject. Hyunjin watches on proudly and definitely reports the guy afterwards for harassment, and even sits through a scolding from a staff member about being polite to the reporters and interviewers. He couldn't care less, if he was being honest, and fights a cheeky, rebellious smile as he's dismissed from the room.

a/n: yay first post with my new taglist~ send me a dm, ask, or comment under the taglist post to be added !

ttokki's taglist: @emilywhyyy @galaxy4489 @hyuneskkami @justsomekpopstuff @wavetohannie @strayingawayy @its-stayville-forever

just so you know, if u feel like world sucks and it looks ugly, hyunjin would find something beautiful in it. if you think nothing matters, just so u know, hyunjin would probably find something in it that matters and why everything is why it is.. he’s a thinker and he will eventually find a purpose in everything, and so will you too

snake - yang jeongin

pairing: yang jeongin x reader

summary: you come home to jeongin after a long, exhausting day

genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort, soft innie, reader had a tough day, the snakes are just a metaphor i promise

a/n: this is super rushed. divider by @atsubie

You trudge down the pavement, brushing past pedestrians and groups of chattering students. A man with his phone to his ear shoves roughly past you and you sway where you're standing, a feeling of hopelessness settling into your stomach like a dark, writhing snake.

These past few weeks have been horrible.

First, one of your close friends at work told you that some of the other coworkers have been spreading nasty rumours about you. You spilled your drink this morning on the way to the building and had to run back and change quickly.

Then when you did show up, your boss shouted at you for being tardy in front of your entire division. You elected to work a couple more hours as compensation, and Jeongin is actually at home for once instead of at the company, so you missed out on an evening with him.

You had texted him earlier in the day, saying that you couldn't come home, and he'd called you. He hadn't minded, his tone casual and slightly teasing as per normal, but you knew him well enough to know he was disappointed at not getting to finally spend some time together.

The coiling snake of guilt, shame, and exhaustion in your stomach has been writhing all week long, and honestly, you're just fed up. Pressing a hand to your midriff, you sigh and pick up the pace, weaving between people, muttering sorry and my bad without so much as a second glance.

You shove the door open and run directly into Jeongin with an oof. His hoodie pillows your face in a refreshing wave of fading cologne and fresh linen. You groan and stand there, sagging into him, the door still flung open in the wake of your frustration.

Jeongin blinks down at you, seemingly unsurprised. He wraps his long, firm arms around you, letting you lean against his chest. It's so warm and so comforting it brings tears to your eyes.

"Hi," he murmurs. "Long day?"

You nod mutely, face still shoved into his hoodie.

Jeongin chuckles, picking you up with little effort and carrying you over to the couch. There's a movie playing. He must have been watching it while waiting for you to come home, and your heart twinges guiltily for having made him wait.

"Innie," you whisper tiredly. "It's so late, why aren't you asleep?"

He's kneeling in front of you, gently undoing the buttons of your shirt so you can breathe, then slipping off your socks and shoes. The look of caring focus on his face doesn't go unnoticed in your current overemotional state. When he finally speaks, Jeongin's voice is soft, gentle, firm.

"You know I can't sleep without you, and I didn't want you coming home to silence."

You nod, unable to do anything.

"Besides," he continues, "You always wait up for me, even when I spend hours and hours at the company for dance practices."

He moves to sit beside you, tugging you gently into a side hug, the solidness of his chest against your chest a comforting anchor. You sit like that for a while, the movie muted and faint in the background.

Jeongin's presence is so warm, so comforting, that all you can do is close tired, strained eyes and lean into him further, inhaling his scent, relishing the solid weight of his arm around you. The burden finally lifts and the sharp, dull tension behind your eyes begins to dissolve, leaving you feel more relaxed and cosy than you've felt in a long time.

The coiling snake in your gut settles and disappears.

a/n: no snakes were harmed in the making of this fic

Can you do something fluffy with 29 and 45 with Changbin? Glad to see you back!! (JJ)

hihi <3 thanks for the request, it's good to be back! this is my first time writing prompts but it's super helpful actually... idk why i didn't do it before. i know you said fluff but i've been itching to write spy!changbin for so long so i just did it quite lighthearted. lmk if you want a rewrite <3

gatecrasher - seo changbin

pairing: seo changbin x reader

summary: you and changbin get sent on a spy mission. look i don't know what the fucking description for this is supposed to be okay

genre: fluff, superspy! au, crack, pretty lighthearted, a few mentions of guns but that's it, kiwi hyunjin surprise appearance

a/n: i mean, come on. changbin as a spy? yes.

⛓️ prompts: 29. "I like the way you think." / 45. "This changes everything."

skz prompt list | skz masterlist

Changbin is smirking as you reach the bottom of the red-carpeted stairs, his hands tucked into the pockets of his sleek, dark suit. The top button of his dark dress shirt is undone and he pulls the material away from his skin, fanning himself dramatically as you reach to take his extended hand.

He bows exaggeratedly and you swat at his chest, chuckling. You subtly brush a hand across your thigh to feel that the gun holster strapped to your thigh hasn't come loose. You know the exact model and make of your pistol is also strapped against Changbin's chest, sleek and dark and out of sight.

For now.

Adjusting the comm-link in your ear, you take Changbin's arm as you two subtly blend in amongst the other guests. The ballroom is large and sumptuous, filled with sparkling light and expensive items for auction. The guests themselves are dripping in diamonds and glamourous clothing and you fight the bile rising in the back of your throat. These people are so snobby and oblivious.

Changbin nudges you silently and you both take several steps backwards, disappearing behind a heavy velvet curtain. Part of you wishes you could keep walking through the ballroom and admire everything, but you and Changbin have a job to do.

That's the thing about being a spy. Sometimes you want to do things and then your duties tug you in the other direction, the way an irritated owner might tug their yappy dog on a leash.

"By the way," Changbin whispers from where he's situated next to you, "you look good."

"You too, gatecrasher."

He rolls his eyes. "We're spies. We're allowed to gatecrash. Legally. I think."

He tugs on your arm now, leading you to the curtain. You're both here to acquire a precious item; or rather swipe it and bring it back to your headquarters. Peeking out from in front of Changbin, you notice the target item being inspected by a snobby-looking man and another woman.

"What now?" You whisper.

Changbin hums from where he's looking out the curtain above you. "We just have to wait a while until they leave. Then we'll swipe it."

You groan softly. "I hate waiting. It'll take ages for that guy and his wife to leave. Look how much they're yapping."

He snickers. "Some particular intel tells me that woman with the snobby-looking guy is his mistress, not his wife."

You gasp, equal parts scandalised and delighted. Changbin claps a hand over his mouth to muffle his laugh.

"Or," he says, clearly struggling to hold his mirth in, "We could go now and try to fake-buy the stupid thing first. This is an auction, after all."

"Yeah. One that we broke into."

He rolls his eyes and pokes your forehead. "That's because it's our job to break into places and steal things. It's for the greater good."

You grin. "Greater good, my a-"

"Shut up, they'll hear us. Let's just wait a couple minutes then stroll out all posh and try and win the auction for the item."

You smirk and look back out the curtain. "I like the way you think."

Changbin nods modestly. "I know you do. It's very obvious."

"Just one thing, how are we supposed to walk out of here with the item? You have to pay for it and then show your receipt to the bouncers at the door."

He grins. "We'll figure that out soon enough."

You roll your eyes and turn back to peek through the curtains. A tiny, almost inaudible sound from behind you makes both you and Changbin whip around, guns unholstered and in hand.

Hwang Hyunjin is leaning against the wall, dressed in a sleek white and black tuxedo. His hair is startingly different, now a shorn dirty blonde and you find yourself missing his long, dark locks all of a sudden. Not that he looks bad. He looks good, pretty even-

You gulp as Changbin lets out a small puff of laughter. "Hello, kiwi."

Hyunjin just rolls his eyes, his voice a low drawl. "Hello, Bin. Chief sent me to keep an eye on you two. Swiped that pretty target item yet?"

He looks at you as he says the word 'pretty' and you feel Changbin bristle on your behalf. Not that you mind, though you feign annoyance at Hyunjin's subtle remark.

"I don't see you with the item," Changbin retorts.

"Yeah, because I'm supervising."

You fight a laugh as Changbin turns back to the curtain, huffing dramatically. "Supervising. Totally."

Hyunjin just grins and peeks out the curtain too. "I mean, I could go get the item, since you two are content to hide behind here."

You poke him harshly in the side and he bends sideways, glaring playfully at you.

"This changes everything," Changbin huffs. "It'll look suspicious if two of us came behind this curtain and three of us walk out."

You side-eye him. "What now, then?"

Hyunjin's breath plays across your cheek. "Let's all go."

"No," you and Changbin whisper in unison.

He rolls his eyes. "On the count of three."

"Hyunjin-" You protest.

"Onetwothreego-"

And he's gone, sashaying into the crowd of opulence.

"Fucking kiwifruit man." Changbin swears, glaring through the curtain. "Come on, he'll wreak havoc on his own."

You grin and take his offered arm. "Thought he was supervising."

"Not anymore, it seems. We need to swipe that target item or at least catch up with Hyunjin. We exit from the curtain on three, okay? One-"

"Two three go!"

a/n: if i had the motivation i would have made this into a series

awww my love :( i'm so glad it helped at least a little bit. don't worry, even just waking up and eating something is a big accomplishment, so be proud of yourself for everything so far . . . it does get better, i promise, and you'll be okay. i'll be here until you are <3

do you wanna talk about it?

Your fic about safe is so amazing I'm inlove with it?? Could you do a similar one but with daddy issues like you're dating Han or Chris (idm which you pick) and you sometimes worry he'll leave you + Ur own issues, tw? Bipolar and depression? Whatever makes you comfortable to do at least

aha thank you so much ! i just titled this one 'depressed reader' but all of the main details are in the descriptions below >< also i couldn't decide between writing chan or han so i just kind of wrote both lol . . . hopefully this one brings you some comfort too, anon <3

hold me - bang chan x depressed!reader

pairing: bang chan x depressed!reader

summary: watching chan with one of his members makes everything you've felt lately rise to the surface.

genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort at the end, depression, hinting to bipolar disorder, heavy descriptions of relationship issues (i made it sort of vague so it applies to a lot of scenarios), descriptions of ed, deprecating and negative thoughts, breakdowns, attachment issues, chan is the sweetest most understanding person in the whole world, jisung is mentioned multiple times in this fic

a/n: sending love to all my readers ! you are all soso appreciated <3. divider from @ianrkives

You hesitantly open the door to the studio after knocking twice. When there's no reply, you quickly step inside and blink. The room is pretty much dark, the only source of light coming from a dim standing lamp in the corner.

Chan is seated at his desk, hunched over the soundboard, with a pair of headphones clasping either side of his head. You can barely see him in the dark, only his face, hands, and the column of his throat visible out of the baggy black clothes he always likes to wear.

He doesn't look up as you enter and then quietly shut the door, too focused on the wavy, lilting lines and sequences of the song production software in front of him. You sigh softly and walk up to him, coming from the side so you don't startle him. Placing your bag down on the small table before the sofa, you place a couple of hesitant fingers on the arm of his chair.

"Channie?" You say quietly.

He's still squinting at the screen, somehow so focused he doesn't even see you right next to him. Or maybe it's the light from the screen; when you stare at a device for so long in the dark, it gets difficult to see anything else.

But he suddenly seems to sense your movement, and he must have realised it was you, because he wraps an arm around your waist and gently pulls you closer.

"Hi, baby," he murmurs, not taking his eyes off the screen. His gaze is focused and almost intense as he scrutinizes every soundbar and beat of the music. You bite your lip.

You begin to worry a little then; have you disturbed him from his work? Maybe you shouldn't have come, or at least sent him a text telling him you were coming to the company studio. Maybe he would be more comfortable if you just left him alone.

Before your thoughts can descend on your head like a static black cloud, Chan finally slips off his headphones, leaning back in his chair with a heavy exhale. His arm is still around your waist and so he tugs you with him a little bit, eyes roaming over your face as he stretches.

"Sorry," he says, sighing contentedly as his back pops a little. "Got so caught up, didn't realise I'd be here so late."

"It's okay," you say quietly. "I figured."

Chan catches the hint of sadness creeping into your tone and he pulls you onto his lap, coiling strong arms around your torso. His unruly, ruffled curls tickle the naps of your neck and you squirm, letting out an involuntary giggle. Though the sound is happy, it immediately fills you with a creeping feeling of disgust, and you reproachfully close your mouth.

Chan doesn't seem to notice; he seems rather content to just keep you on his lap. He's absentmindedly singing something, and you stand up off of his lap suddenly, brushing yourself off. For some unknown reason, you begin to feel a bit embarrassed, like you used to feel around Chan when you didn't know him too well.

The man in question sits up a little straighter in his chair, smiling at you. "How was your day, baby?"

"Good," you say a little curtly. You're not sure where the tone is coming from, and you shove the feeling down before you can say something in a way you'd regret.

Chan hums thoughtfully and pokes you lightly in the stomach. "Just good, hmm? Usually I'd get a lot more than that... are you okay?"

"Yes," you say quietly, even though you feel anything but. You're grateful for the darkness then, because it means Chan can't see the tears beginning to prickly hotly at the corners of your eyes. You keep your voice strong and fight the urge to sniffle so as not to alert him. "Just had a long day. You?"

Saying those sentences almost makes you break.

Chan can never know what it's like; how it feels to be brushed off and ignored and attacked by someone who is supposed to love you. To feel like you don't really matter, or that your thoughts and ideas and dreams are just that; useless, empty words inside your head. And to be constantly reminded of how little your worth is, to the point where you're not sure what love is, or what it looks like.

Chan will never understand; he had a completely normal childhood, with a completely normal family and upbringing, and he's normal. Normal in the way that he has people to turn to, people who love and support him, and he's normal in the way that he doesn't scrutinize his own actions every single second of every single day.

And he will never know what it's like to be struggling with something to the point where it all just builds up inside your head like a messy pile of bricks. Where it all weighs down heavy on your mood and sends clouds of dust into the air, distorting and warping your emotions.

So far you've been able to control your mood swings around him; you'd succeeded in making Chan think that you're a person who likes to sleep a lot. In reality you just lie down and keep your eyes and mouth shut so you don't end up acting hypomanic or have outbursts at him. At least it's working; you would much rather keep it all inside than bare the most vulnerable parts of yourself to someone who might decide to turn away and leave you because of it.

You've learnt that keeping those thoughts and emotions inside is better, because then at least people stay. For some time, anyway. Lately you've been feeling like you're biding your time, waiting until the day where Chan finds out everything and decides to do what's best for himself.

When he decides to leave you.

"...And then Han decided he was going to try and do his makeup himself all of a sudden, and of course it was a whole mess. I had to clean sparkly highlighter out of his mouth. I mean, how does that even happen?"

You blink. Chan has been talking this whole time while you've been zoned out of your mind, pitifully burying yourself in your struggles. You climb out of the pit but for a moment and nod along, though he still can't see you because of the dark. You hope that he's just been talking about Han the whole time and not anything else, because if you missed something, Chan will definitely know something's wrong. You inwardly curse yourself for making a habit out of replying to every event and topic that comes out of Chan's mouth.

"Does he not know you guys have perfectly good stylists for that?" You murmur, carding a hand through his fluffy hair.

He sighs exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. "Apparently not."

You feel the slightest hint of mirth warming your heart as you notice the tips of Chan's rough, calloused fingers covered in the faintest hint of sparkles. But it quickly disappears, replaced by a cold, dead numbness that seems to encapsulate your whole being. Like icy water.

"Anyways," Chan stretches again, standing up. "How come you're here and not at home?"

Slightly taken aback at the blunt statement, you stutter a little. Chan's eyes go wide and he shakes his hands frantically in front of himself. "N-not like that! I'm glad you're here, it's just that it's really late and I thought you would be asleep by now..."

You blink at him, and then at the clock. He has a point; the white LEDs on the display read 1:43 am. Normally you'd be passed out in bed at this time.

"Couldn't sleep," you say. "I missed you."

And it's true. You did miss him. But suddenly you're looking straight through Chan to someone else and saying that last sentence to him instead. You clench your fists.

"Aww," Chan whines cutely, pulling you into a hug. "My baby. I missed you too. This new song track is killing me."

You pull back from the hug and kiss him on the cheek, partly because kissing Chan makes him go all red, and if you let him hug you any longer, you'll probably break down.

Chan does go red and you poke him lightly in the side, teasing gently. He chuckles and jerks away as you walk to the low table and pick up a bag. "I brought food."

"Oh, you're the best," Chan dives for the bag and eagerly digs through, clumsily kissing your cheek as he pulls the lid off one of the takeout containers. He sits down on the couch before pulling out a pair of chopsticks from the bag and heaping a mouthful of the food. He groans loudly. "This is so good."

"Tastes better after work, doesn't it?" You sit down next to him and lean back, looking at the ceiling. You cross your arms over your stomach to keep it quiet.

Chan nods eagerly and holds out his chopsticks. "Say ahh, Y/n."

You shake your head ruefully but Chan insists, moving closer. Relenting, you open your mouth and feel the warmth of the food against your tongue. It tastes so good, and for a second, you think about asking for more, but you realise that Chan needs it more. After all, he's been working all night.

Besides, if you ask for more of his food, he might think you're being greedy and look at you that certain way that someone else does.

In disgust.

You know in your heart that Chan would never do these sorts of things, but the doubt nags consistently at your consciousness, tugging your mood one way and then your emotions the next. The constant change between feelings is almost giving you whiplash and you exhale, closing your eyes and leaning back into the couch.

"Baby?"

"Mm," you say without opening your eyes.

"Is everything okay?" You hear him setting down his chopsticks, feel the tiny thud through the table as he sets the already-empty container down gently. Your heart drops to your stomach.

Keep it together. He doesn't know anything.

You sigh and sit up, your heartstrings twinging. "Just a lot to think about lately. Why?"

Chan nods, leaning back into the couch next to you. "It's just that you've been really quiet lately. I was wondering if something was going on..."

He ends his reply on a sort of question, like he's expecting you to open up to him about everything at once. You almost laugh out loud at the absurdity of it. How could he possibly expect you to do something like that? And so easily too...

You inwardly scoff. Nice try. You're not getting anything out of me, Chan. Better you don't know anyway. I know you'll change your mind about me.

But your heart takes control of your mouth, and maybe it's the constant sense of longing you seem to have around Chan, but you want to open up to him. Tell him everything, about your terrible past and terrible experiences, and all you are because of it. And a sudden, lingering sense of hope makes you believe that even after you tell him all of it, he'll stay.

Even if it's just for a moment.

"I, um.. I just had an argument with someone," you say vaguely. And it's not entirely the truth. But it's not exactly a lie either. The words shouted at you earlier flash through your mind, white and hot and painful. Like a fresh cut, a harsh, swift slice too deep and sudden to process. Where, for a moment, there's nothing, until the blood starts filling the white gap and then spilling over, like a gruesome parody of tears.

Chan turns to face you on the couch. "Argument? About what?"

You shift a little uncomfortably. Now you have to tell him. "About- just whatever."

"It's not whatever, Y/n," he says firmly. "Not if it's making you this upset."

And maybe it's the sudden realisation that Chan is so normal, with his normal family and mind and life that you feel a raging pang of jealousy fill you up from your toes to your head. You huff and turn away.

"It's nothing," you grit your teeth, fighting not to spit venom.

Stop it, Y/n. It's not his fault.

Chan blinks in surprise at your slightly harsh response but doesn't push you any further. You don't look at him, but you hear him sigh and get up to toss the empty takeout container in the trash. Your heart sinks and you wait for him to turn around and chide you for being so rude and stubborn. After all, he was just trying to help.

But he doesn't. He sits back down on the couch, and looks up at the ceiling, so that you two are lying next to each other in the exact same position. He doesn't talk, either.

You both sit in deafening silence.

You're grateful when the door opens with a haphazard bang and Han walks in, clad in an oversized grey hoodie and sweats. He's clutching a notebook in his hands, glasses slipping off the bridge of his nose. You know the story Chan told earlier was true because you can see smears of sparkly highlighter high on his cheekbones. He doesn't seem to be aware of the time, nor the dark state of the room, or the fact that you're so tense your shoulders feel like concrete.

You're grateful for the interruption until he walks over to Chan and promptly sits in his lap. Han murmurs a few lyrics to him, who seems unfazed by the sudden action, and questions about what he thinks could be changed with the song words. Chan replies quietly and his gaze flicks to you in the dimness of the room, but you just shrug, saying you don't mind.

But sitting there, watching Han sit so quietly and comfortably in Chan's lap makes your heart pang for some reason. He wasn't afraid, didn't ask if it was okay, just sat right down and made himself comfortable. Because you know for a fact Chan lets him do this.

And maybe it's the way Chan strokes an absentminded finger down Han's shoulder, or the way he speaks so softly, or the way it's so reminiscent of someone taking care of their child, but you find your eyes brimming with hot tears by the time Han gets up and leaves.

Chan turns to you, about to say something about the lyrics of the new track, but he stops short. A look of worry comes over his expression.

He scoots closer, placing a warm hand on your arm. "Baby? Are you okay?"

All you can do is shake your head, your eyes scrunching up as you fall into his arms. Chan holds you close, one hand cradling your head against his chest like you're the most precious thing in the whole world. Little do you know, to him, you are.

You sob. The reality of everything comes crashes down on you and all you can do is wail and hiccup into Chan's warm, solid chest. You expect him to push you away by the time the tears have soaked through his shirt, but he doesn't. He holds you close and rocks you gently, shushing you and cooing as he wipes hot, sticky streaks off your cheekbones.

You can't help but cry harder. Your eyes almost sting from how hard you've scrunched them up, and your hands ball in the back of Chan's hoodie like it's a lifeline. And it is. You feel that if you let go, you might fall and never return.

"I'm here," you hear Chan whispering through the mess. "I'm here."

Again and again he says it, and every time he does, your tears flow a little slower, and he keeps saying it until your breakdown has reduced itself to a fit of hiccups and messy sniffles. Still he doesn't push you away, or snap at you to get over it, or that your tears mean nothing. He just sits and holds you.

When you finally look up, Chan is smiling gently, reassuringly, though a little sadly. He sees the look in your eyes and knows you don't want to talk about it, so he sits and rocks you softly on his lap. You squeeze your eyes shut and heave in a rocky breath.

Please just keep holding me, you beg him silently. Just for a while.

And he does. And he doesn't let go, not even when you whimper into his shoulder and soak the juncture of his neck with your misery. He kisses the salty wetness away and strokes the pads of his fingers across your face, where the skin is red and sticky.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I'm sorry," you cry. "I can't get it all out of my head, and- it's too much, and I can't-"

"Shh, baby. I've got you, okay? Just breathe for me."

You heave in a few breaths and continue clinging to him. He feels so warm and safe. All you want is to be surrounded by him, to breathe him in, have him tell you that he loves you.

He must have read your mind, because he leans close to your ear and whispers firmly.

"I'm not leaving you, yeah? I'm gonna stay right here, hold you til you're better. You mean the world to me, hmm? Do you know that?"

You shake your head sadly.

"Now you do. I'm not going anywhere," he says with such conviction that you almost begin to believe it. He wraps his arms closer around you and kisses your forehead, whispering fiercely.

"I promise."

a/n: masterlist

lonely st. ✧ chapter vii : the people who care

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: usual warnings (see masterlist for all), descriptions of a panic attack, nightmares, fainting, jisung cries, mentions of eating, mentions of feeling isolated

a/n: this chapter starts off a little darker so please read the warnings before continuing ! <3

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Hyunjin woke with a jolt, covered in sweat.

His hair was plastered to the back of his neck, bare chest heaving with exertion, like he'd just run a marathon. His hands clenched the bedsheets beside his hips as he tried to calm himself down, processing what he'd just dreamed.

Glancing across to the mirror in the corner of his room, he noticed his cheeks were rosy in the reflection, his ears burning scarlet. He took a deep breath and he stood shakily, feeling unusually unsteady on his feet. He felt sick.

He moved to the mirror and inspected his reflection before turning abruptly on his heel, unable to bear the sight of his own face, reflected back scared and pale in the darkness of the room.

Sighing and moving to the bathroom, he noticed how dark it was outside. He'd woken ridiculously early, though he didn't notice, too focused on splashing cold water on his face, trying to cool himself down.

Inhaling shakily, he leant over the sink, trying to forget the images burnt into his mind. Feeling a wave of nausea pass over him, his knees gave out without warning and he awkwardly hit the tiled floor with a thud, head lolling back against the sink cabinet.

Hyunjin closed his eyes.

Everything was quiet and dark.

Hyunjin felt serene, like he was underwater, surveying the lights and chaos going on above the surface. The sounds around him felt muffled and distant, like the feeling of water seeping into his ears.

He stretched an arm out, feeling hazy and disconnected from his limbs. He moved his fingers faintly, feeling numb, like he was watching someone else's arm move instead of his own. He was just a presence floating delicately in the air, sinking til he met the ground.

He saw Y/n above the surface; her outline blurred and faded by the ripples of water. He thrashed wildly, though he had no strength, trying to reach her. But it was like a boulder had been tied to his ankles, and he sank further into the abyss...

He screamed underwater and a stream of bubbles left his mouth, water gurgling in his lungs as he screamed with everything he had left.

Y/n, come back!

He felt himself being lifted out of the water, the water dripping off him and leaving him feeling heavy and saturated. Someone tugged on his arm as he began to sink back down, into unconsciousness. A faint burst of sunlight broke through the hazy, foggy mass surrounding him like a cloying perfume. He heard voices, calling out to him, frantic and strained.

"Hyunjin! Hyunjin, wake up!"

"Hyunjin!"

"HYUNJIN!"

He took a heaving, shuddering breath, his cloudy eyes opening to meet Jisung's.

He looked as worried as Hyunjin had ever seen him; through the fog hanging over his head, he noticed his friend's face was pale and his eyes were rimmed in red, like he'd been crying. His voice sounded faraway.

"Felix, he's awake!"

The blonde haired boy rushed in, holding a bottle of water. Though the sink was directly above them, Felix knelt down and uncapped the bottle, jerking it so a gush of the water hit Hyunjin squarely in the face.

He coughed, some of it going down his throat. Leaning over, he propped himself up on his elbows. His lower half was spread across the tiles, and he felt numb; he wasn't sure he could stand. His head throbbed suddenly and he let himself be pulled into Jisung's lap, gasping weakly.

Jisung scoffed despite the singular tear streaking down his cheek. "Felix, I said he was awake. You didn't have to splash the water."

Felix shrugged worriedly, looking at Hyunjin.

Jisung stroked his friend's hair, trailing a hand down his shoulder in a soothing pattern. His voice was low and cracked.

"Hyunjin, what happened?"

Felix followed up his friend's concerned question.

"Yeah, man. We were supposed to hang out this morning, and Jisung kept calling you because you didn't show up. And I tried contacting you too, but when you didn't respond after forty minutes, we got worried and came here.

We knew you were home alone because you told us your parents were away for a couple weeks on a trip, so we figured something happened."

Jisung whispered, his voice echoing in the silent space.

"We found you passed out right here and both of us freaked. You've been out for who knows how long..."

Hyunjin coughed and sat up. True to Jisung's word, he was still in his boxers, which he'd slept in, and his upper back hurt from where he'd slumped against the cabinet. His head hurt a little too and he was fighting to stay awake.

Felix shared a worried glance with his friend, biting his lip. "Hyunjin, can you stand?"

He weakly shook his head.

Both boys slipped an arm around Hyunjin's torso, lifting him from the tiles and through to his bedroom. Felix knelt in front of his friend, keeping a hand on his knee to ground him.

His voice was soft. "What do you remember, Hyunjinnie?"

Hyunjinnie.

Wasn't that what Y/n called him the other day? Hyunjinnie.

The images from his nightmare flooded back into his mind, flashing and searing, tossing him under waves, making his head spin. He saw Y/n's smile, her hands delicate and pretty as she held her pencil, sketching image after image. She looked up just as he threw a basketball to her, grinning.

His left hand ached suddenly, his fingers closing around nothing, missing the feeling of her warm hand in his, like when she'd held it in the classroom. A singular, whispered phrase swum between the racing thoughts and flashing images in his mind.

I missed you too, Hyunjinnie.

"Don't leave me," he cried weakly to her, gasping, though she wasn't there, much to his distress.

Felix's voice was shaky as he moved to comfort his friend. "Hyunjin, it's okay. We're not going anywhere, just breathe-"

"I can't-"

"Shh, it's okay, we got you. Don't worry, just in and out, okay? You can do it, just breathe with us..."

Jisung murmured to Hyunjin in soft, soothing tones, Felix rubbing his knees, trying to calm him.

Felix tilted Hyunjin's chin up after a while, wiping away his friend's tears, though they were immediately replaced.

"Y/n-" Hyunjin cried weakly.

Felix and Jisung shared a surprised, worried glance. Piecing the events together, Jisung rubbed his friend's back, whispering to him reassuringly.

"Hyunjin, it's okay."

Felix nodded. "Y/n's not going anywhere. Did you dream about her?"

Hyunjin nodded, a hiccupping sob escaping his mouth.

"I want her to come back.."

"Wait, so he thought I died?"

Y/n's voice sounded through Felix's phone speaker as he paced, feet padding across the sunlight-dappled floor of Hyunjin's living room.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "He's not telling us what happened, but we figured he probably had a nightmare, something involving you."

"Oh. Is he okay?"

Felix glanced across at the couch, where Hyunjin sat with his knees tucked up to his chest, face buried between them. Jisung had his head leaning on his friend's shoulder, whispering sweet nothings and quiet reassurances to him in a constant, unending stream.

Felix bit his lip. "I'm not sure."

Y/n sounded worried, her voice becoming quieter over the phone. "Can I talk to him?"

Felix sighed, walking a little closer, and covered his phone with his hand. "Hyunjin, do you want to talk to her?"

The boy looked so dazed and out of it that Felix immediately brought his phone back to his ear.

"Yeah, I don't think he's up to it..."

Y/n let out a worried sigh over the phone, feeling anxiety creep up on her. "Just- keep an eye on him for me, okay?"

Felix nodded, forgetting he was over the phone and she couldn't see him.

"Felix?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure."

Felix ended the call, looking to Jisung, who still had his arm draped over his distraught friend's shoulders.

"Let's get you something to eat, Hyunjin."

Walking into the classroom, Felix set his belongings down on the desk, before turning to Jisung who was a couple desks away.

"Is Hyunjin coming in today?" He asked.

"He is, actually."

Both boys looked up at the sight of their friend; Jisung immediately stood up and threw his arms around the boy, squeezing him tight around the middle.

"Hi, Sung," Hyunjin wheezed, clapping his friend on the back. "I'm feeling better, don't worry."

Felix scoffed, getting up to hug his friend anyway. "You're lucky we didn't tell your parents."

"Yeah," Hyunjin chuckled. "They would have freaked. But I'm okay now."

Hyunjin sat down in his usual spot as the teacher began to call the roll. He checked his timetable; usually he knew off by heart what classes he was due for the day, but the events of the weekend had left him feeling unusually forgetful. Jisung had told him it was nothing to worry about, just some lingering aftereffects.

Checking in his bag, Hyunjin dug inside for a pen to mark off something on his schedule, and his fingers closed around a ballpoint. Drawing it out, he blinked in surprise.

It was Y/n's, the one he'd stolen almost two months ago.

He smiled ruefully to himself. I bet she hasn't forgotten about it all this time. She's not forgetful like me.

Realising he had a class with her next, he slotted his timetable and notebook back into his bag, wondering if she also remembered his offer for her to sit with him. He mentally facepalmed; he shouldn't have asked her to sit with him over text. It would just make it awkward if he had to ask her again face-to-face. Especially if she wasn't planning to sit with him at all.

Glancing up as the bell rang, he stood unsurely as the other students filtered out of the room, brushing past him while laughing and chattering.

Felix accompanied him on the walk, since his classroom was just a few doors down from Hyunjin's and he kept up a steady stream of excitable chatter, talking about this and that, not letting Hyunjin get a word in edgeways.

Which suited him just fine, since he was preoccupied with other thoughts. So he let Felix ramble on without interruption, only stopping to quickly say bye before slipping into his class.

He sat down in his usual spot at the back, feeling uncharacteristically nervous. His eyes darted about the classroom, trying to spot the telltale shimmer of her keyrings and pins on her bag, but it was nowhere to be seen. He relaxed with a sigh of relief. Spreading one leg slightly, he pushed it under the leg of the chair next to him, inconspicuously saving the seat. Hopefully for Y/n.

A familiar scent filled the air, vanilla and cinnamon, and Yeji pulled out the chair next to Hyunjin, almost catching his foot in the process. She dumped her belongings down before moving to sit next to him with a grin.

"Hey, Jinnie."

Hyunjin stuttered, his plan falling apart. "Hey."

Yeji peered down into his face, still standing, one hand planted firmly on the back of the chair. It moved slowly to the back of Hyunjin's chair til she was leaning almost over him, her knuckles brushing his back. A shiver went down his spine and he straightened a little, trying to redirect his focus to the classroom door.

"Sorry," he said quietly, bracing. "You can't sit here."

Yeji's smile dropped. "Why not?"

"Just can't."

Yeji's grin returned, wide and pearly, and it reminded Hyunjin of the Cheshire cat-style bandaid Y/n had given him. He rubbed his knee subconsciously, where the bandaid sat stuck neatly to the skin.

"Oh, I see," she teased. "Saving it for someone?"

Hyunjin nodded mutely before speaking up. "Y/n's coming soon, and I asked her to sit with me. Sorry."

Clearly Yeji was not expecting this response, because she spluttered, flicking her hair over her shoulder haughtily.

"Fine," she huffed suddenly, her tone laced with savagery. "Save it for your little loser friend."

Hyunjin made to nastily retort back at her, before his eyes flitted to the classroom door and Y/n walked in. He shoved the anger down inside him before smiling at her. He sat back down and looked up at her expectantly as she walked up to him.

Y/n glanced at the seat next to him shyly, pointing a finger.

"Yeah," he nodded, his tone soft. He couldn't keep the smile from his face.

Y/n slid into the seat and the class commenced. The teacher announced the content would be on the term exam and normally, Hyunjin would have zoned in, writing down notes and organizing his schedule (usually much to Jisung's disgust), but all he could think about was the girl sitting next to him.

They were sitting together.

He looked out the window, relief and happiness settling over him like a pleasant, dreamy cloud. His plan had worked. He felt a finger poke lightly into his bicep and he looked across as Y/n slid him a note.

Felix told me you fainted on the weekend. Are you feeling better?

He took the note and wrote a reply, his pen feeling slippery and unsteady in his hands.

Yeah, I'm okay. I had a nightmare and I must have gotten freaked out.

He slid it back to her, their fingers brushing momentarily. Her next reply was quick.

Nightmare? About what?

Hyunjin bit his lip. Should he tell her? Would she think it was weird or perverted that he'd dreamt about her? It had no romantic or suggestive connotation about it, but he still felt that there would be a chance that she thought it was kind of disgusting. Who dreamt about their friends? Maybe she would take it the wrong way.

But it wasn't like that, he told himself firmly, scribbling his reply.

You.

He heard Y/n make a little, almost inaudible squeak, like she was surprised, and he propped his head up on his elbow, putting his hand across his mouth to hide his smile.

Her reply came back.

Damn, am I that much of a horror to be friends with?

Hyunjin scoffed quietly.

No, of course not.

She wrote a response.

Then what happened in the nightmare?

Hyunjin took a deep breath, trying to stop his knee from bouncing rapidly under the desk. Should he tell her? He decided that she wouldn't mind. Besides, he was already this far in. He couldn't back out now.

I dreamt that you left me. And I kept calling for you but you weren't there. I felt like I was drowning...

He passed the note back across the desk with shaking fingers, biting the inside of his cheek.

Y/n passed the note back quickly, and Hyunjin's heart sank. Now his suspicions were confirmed. She thought it was weird..

Opening the note and moving to glance back at the sentence he'd written that had supposedly ruined everything, he was surprised to see that there was a small reply written under it.

I'm here now, Hyunjinnie. I promise I won't leave. Not if you don't want me to, of course.

Hyunjin felt his cheeks tingle, and moved to tug lightly at the lobe of his ear, which were now painted a shade of rich cherry red. She'd shown him time and time again that she was sweet, and honestly rather sentimental, but it had continued to surprise him. And with each time, his felt his heart swelling more and more, and expanding to accommodate her affection, coupled with his own. So much that he felt his heart would burst if they continued the way he did.

The bell rang for the end of class and Y/n moved to pack up her belongings, sparing Hyunjin a soft nod and a glance before moving to leave. She stopped to turn back, assuming he would get up and walk with her, but he dismissed her with a small, nervous smile, murmuring something about extra homework from another class. She nodded again and left.

So maybe she wasn't much of a talker, but oh, how she could make him feel.

"Y/NNNNNNN!"

Said girl let out a squeak as Jisung collided with her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders in a hug. She exhaled a laugh, patting his forearms, and kept walking, taking smaller steps so as not to trip both herself and Jisung over.

He kept his arms around her, waddling awkwardly behind and spouting his daily nonsense straight into Y/n's ear. She didn't mind, looking up to see Felix and Hyunjin waiting outside the school gates. Jisung steered her from behind towards them, almost colliding with the iron bars of the gate.

Y/n let out a small sound as she put her hands against the wall. "Oof, be careful- Ew, it's wet."

It had been raining earlier, and the smell of petrichor hung in the air, laced with the smell of watery mud and the rain-soaked blazers of the students filing out of the school campus. She'd heard a couple girls in her class complaining about the rain, but she found she quite liked the weather. It was much more familiar to see the sky all grey and overcast than to walk out and be blinded by the sun.

Groaning in disgust, she waved her hands at Felix, who ducked, whining.

"Y/n! Go dry your hands."

Sighing nonchalantly, she wiped her right hand on Jisung's sleeve, the boy gaping at her in open-mouthed horror. He glanced down at his sleeve, checking that it wasn't stained, before skipping past her, down the street. Having seemingly forgotten about Y/n's damp hands, he turned back and seized Hyunjin's hand, telling him about the latest drama he'd heard in the hallways.

Y/n discreetly wiped her hands on the tail of Jisung's blazer before dropping back to walk alongside Felix. He smiled at her before calling out something to Hyunjin.

"Yah, Hyunjin! Wanna go to Bbokari's?"

The dark-haired boy checked his phone before turning his head and nodding. Felix let out a hum before asking Jisung the same thing. He readily agreed and turned himself so he was facing Y/n, walking backwards and clinging onto Hyunjin's arm to talk to her.

He grinned at her eagerly. "You should come with us!"

Y/n felt a silent stutter escape her lungs, her mouth opening just a little bit as she was thrust into the spotlight. All three pairs of the boys' eyes were trained on her, waiting for her response.

"Sorry," she said inaudibly, suddenly unable to speak.

Felix leaned forward a little as he walked, nudging her gently with his shoulder and sending a rush of heat radiating into her skin through her blazer.

"Come on," he said gently to her, smiling. "It'll be fun. Just like when we played basketball together."

Y/n found her eyes drifting to Hyunjin; he'd been looking at her while Felix had been talking, but at the eye contact, he suddenly busied himself with checking his pockets. Y/n felt her spirit sink a little and she considered making up a lie so she wouldn't have to go with them.

Not that she didn't want to. But it was difficult, and she knew she would end up feeling downcast and isolated if she told them she couldn't go. But if she said yes, she risked being left out; she risked being a spectator to their animated conversations, and honestly, Y/n couldn't stand the thought of being an invisible presence in yet another friend group. Just the lingering feeling made her visibly blanch, but she was snapped out of it when Jisung poked her shoulder.

"Pleaseeee?" He dragged out the word, pouting at her, his eyes wide and dark like boba balls.

Y/n glanced at him, unsure.

Jisung continued to drag the word out, his voice getting higher and higher and his face becoming redder and redder with the constant, forced exhale of a word.

Felix let out a low whistle. "If you don't give him an answer, he'll just keep going. No offence, but I don't feel like dragging a passed-out Jisung to Bbokari's."

Y/n let her eyes drift to Felix, the group still walking. Her voice was quiet, hesitant, like she was afraid she would scare him away if she spoke too loud. "What is Bbokari's?"

Felix beamed at her. "It's my parents' shop. Like a convenience store, but there's a seating area where there's a microwave and a coffee maker and stuff. We always buy food and my parents give Hyunjin and Jisung friend discounts because they come round all the time. Also, I live upstairs to the store."

Y/n nodded subconsciously, taking in all the information.

"She nodded!" Jisung screeched, jumping up and down and almost dislocating Hyunjin's arm, still in his grip. "She said yes!"

Y/n yelped as Felix took her arm, Jisung letting go of Hyunjin to take her hand, leading her forwards at an alarming pace down the street. The sudden flurry of movement around her meant she almost tripped, Jisung and Felix's combined grips on her being the only thing stopping her from falling.

"W-wait!" Y/n protested, struggling against their grip. "That's not what I meant! I was nodding to Felix-"

It was useless; they were far stronger that she had previously assumed. She felt like a twig in their firm but gentle grip.

Jisung cackled, his laugh floating up and mingling with the last few spatters of rain falling from the grey, cloudy sky.

"Too late. You're coming with us."

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how each skz member would do their nails - hyung line

pairing: ot8 hyung line x reader

summary: how skz hyung line would do their nails

genre: ...

a/n: should i do the maknaes ?

bang chan ♡

sleek, short nails with a glossy finish

minimalist designs featuring simple lines or dots

soft pastel colors like baby blue or mint green

occasional graphic designs that showcase his creativity

nail art inspired by his favorite music or quotes

a touch of silver or gold foil for a hint of glam

maybe even matching nails with his close friends

well-groomed but low-maintenance to fit his busy lifestyle

lee know ♡

sharp, medium-length nails with a smooth black finish

edgy designs like geometric patterns or spikes

bold colors like deep red or dark purple to reflect his fierce side

maybe some nail art inspired by cats, as he loves them

a bit of nail art with star motifs or glitter for a touch of flair

matte finish on some nails for contrast

intricate designs that showcase his attention to detail

layered designs that represent his layered personality

changbin ♡

sturdy, well-kept nails with a sporty vibe

bright, energetic colors like neon green or vibrant orange

bold designs inspired by his rap style, such as graffiti

maybe some nail art with music notes or sound waves

occasional use of stickers or decals to express his playful side

clean and polished to reflect his strong work ethic

a mix of shiny and matte finishes for variety

short and practical, perfect for his active lifestyle

hyunjin ♡

we already did hyunjin's, but i think elegant nails with a glossy finish

soft, romantic colors like lavender or pink mixed with black accents

intricate, dark designs or delicate lace patterns

possibly some holographic or iridescent accents

nail art that highlights his artistic nature, like brushstroke designs

minimalist and chic, reflecting his fashion sense

maybe a touch of gold or silver for added sophistication

well-maintained and perfect for stage performances

a/n: ...yea i think i'll do the maknaes

the fast lane : part 5 (bangchan x reader x felix)

Summary: Welcome to the world of underground street racing. Chan is known for his flashy cars and confident attitude. You're new to the racing scene, eager but inexperienced. Felix is known for his sneaky tactics and charming demeanour. What happens when all three of your worlds collide?

Warnings: skz racer!au, fluff, angst, chan isn't as much of a dick (yayyy), jisung is the best, lots of vroom vrooming, not proofread, brief mentions of injury, tiny bit suggestive if you squint, that's it i think 3.6 k wc

series masterlist

part 5 : white knight and black knight

"You ready?" Jisung asked.

Y/n nodded shakily, adjusting her leather jacket. The material felt foreign, unusually smooth and uncomfortable against her skin. Jisung had kindly lent it to her, since she didn't have a racing jacket of her own yet, and not for the first time, Y/n was truly grateful for his amiable nature and quick smile.

He was just so easy to be friends with.

Y/n had only spent several days in Jisung's company as he'd helped train her, but by the time Saturday's race came around, she felt as if she'd known him for years. It was a pleasant feeling, to have someone who was so willingly kind to her after experiencing Chan's confusing attitude towards her, and the other racers' nonchalance and ignorance of her presence entirely. Minho's absence still bitterly tugged at Y/n's heartstrings, but with Jisung's constant chattering, grinning, and spontaneous antics, the sadness and longing began to slowly fade away, and Y/n surprisingly found herself enjoying herself in and out of the arena for the first time since Minho's impromptu training sessions.

Jisung nudged her shoulder suddenly, chuckling as she blinked, having been so lost in her thoughts that she'd forgotten where she was. "You'll be fine, Y/n."

Y/n exhaled, nodding, glad that he'd mistaken her quietness for nerves. She liked Jisung, but being a naturally suspicious person, she was finding it truly difficult to open up and tell him things that might have come easy to someone else. She understood now, why Chan acted the way he did, how he might have been feeling the same way as she did, not knowing who to trust or open up to.

Y/n was surprised she currently even had the capacity to hear herself think. The arena was bright and bustling, trails of car exhaust smoke rising in wisping plumes against the night sky. The floodlights were slightly dimmed, their usual blinding, white glare toned down by the hundreds of coloured light bulbs threading through the grandstands, giving the arena and racetrack a garishly dramatic, multi-coloured aura of reds, pinks, blues, and yellows. The cars racing in the next heat were already lined up, decorated in flashy stripes and sheens of neon colours that made Y/n's head spin if she looked for too long. Minho's car, her car now, was there too, the neon green and chrome black cast sending a jolting, bittersweet pang through her heart. Jisung's neon red and candy-pink Mustang was positioned directly behind hers.

Someone brushed past her shoulder suddenly, smelling woodsy and spicy. Y/n knew that scent now.

Chan moved past her, walking into the crowds towards his car as if she'd conjured him there out of her thoughts. She hadn't seen him around much since their shared breakdown in the tuning shop, but she was relieved to at least see that he was okay. Yn subconsciously realised she'd been coming around to him, albeit extremely slowly and warily.

Not to say she had forgiven him for what he'd done to Minho.

Y/n considered going after him suddenly, feeling a strange urge to reconnect with him the way they'd done in the garage. But she knew in her heart Chan wouldn't want to talk about it, especially since he'd been crying. She had a feeling most of the racers here weren't really into shows of affection or vulnerability unless it was shoving their tongues down the throats of the grid girls, who were currently swarming flirtatiously around a blonde-haired racer clad in jet black and blue.

Not that there was any time to reconnect with Chan anyway.

Jisung clapped her on the back, giving her a final, million-watt smile before disappearing behind her to enter his own car in the lineup. Y/n took a shaky breath and opened the car door of her own, sliding smoothly into the driver's seat. Her fingers found their place on the wheel, the cool leather sending an involuntary shiver up her spine. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to focus. Opening them again, trying to clear her head, Y/n glanced in her rearview mirror, noticing Jisung making his final adjustments in his seat. Y/n fought a tiny, fond laugh as he hit his elbow on the window frame, his lean top half temporarily disappearing as he keeled over dramatically at the pain.

Dragging her eyes away from her friend, Y/n glanced across to her left, noticing Chan clenching the wheel of his own car next to her. His sleek, dark Corvette was polished to an effortless shine, the red streamlining catching the multi-coloured lights sprinkled around the racetrack. He was wearing the exact same black and red racing suit he'd worn when she'd first ran into him, and Y/n cringed at the memory, remembering how she'd fallen straight onto her ass afterwards. She was also convinced that Chan probably slept in his racing suit at this point. She was about to smile at the thought, turning to look at him, when she realised he looked a lot more focused than usual.

No, not focused.

Tense.

Like he was worried about something.

Every single muscle was rigid and stiff. He kept shifting in his seat, his usual bravado disappearing completely as he fretted silently to himself, frowning every now and then. Y/n hastily redirected her gaze as Chan's eyes caught hers, her heart thudding at the unexpected glance.

A grating rev from her other side made Y/n jolt. Glaring at the racer to her left, Y/n's jaw dropped a little as she realised the racer who had been flirting with the grid girls was staring directly at her. Her glare disappeared as quickly as it had come, a sudden shyness and sense of inferiority crashing over her being. His car must have been the most expensive one on the track. The McLaren P1's sleek, deep blue body was decorated with vibrant, sky blue lightning strikes detailed in black and white. It was truly stunning.

So is the racer inside it, Y/n thought.

She promptly realised she'd been staring at the blonde-haired racer for some time now. He was doing the same, his dark, almost boyishly pretty eyes boring into Y/n's with an intensity that made her want to shrink into oblivion. His face was freckled, the blonde strands falling down over his forehead and nape in messy, loosely clustered strands. She could faintly see his roots growing out, the colour beneath the harsh dye a pleasant, dark, chocolatey brown.

Y/n watched, stupefied, as the racer smirked, a strand of pretty blonde hair falling into his face. He shook his head a little, shaking it out of the way, before cocking a confident eyebrow at her and smirking again, his tongue darting out to briefly touch his teeth. Heat flooded Y/n's cheeks at the expression, though she knew he was mocking her, nonverbally telling her to stay out of the way.

Out of his way, most likely.

She watched as he threw his head back and laughed, though she couldn't hear it from her car. It didn't seem like the friendly type of laugh, either. More derisive and taunting. Y/n's hands clenched involuntarily on the wheel and she looked straight ahead, trying to redirect her moral compass, and focus.

This would have been so much easier if Minho was here, she thought desperately. She leant forward a little and watched with hawk-like eyes as a grid girl sashayed onto the track, holding a single, black-and-white checkered flag. Y/n's heart thudded as she watched the girl raise the flag. Y/n glanced at Chan one more time before the flag dropped.

The instant the green signal flared, they were off.

Tires screeched against asphalt as the cars launched forward, engines roaring. The blonde-haired racer's car had already disappeared round a turn as soon as the signal flare had launched, and Y/n sputtered, faltering momentarily.

How had he gotten there so fast?

Recollecting herself, Y/n's heart leapt into her throat as she slammed her foot on the gas. The adrenaline surged through her veins as the world around her blurred, the car's momentum throwing her against the seat. Jisung's car sped past her, stuck in the middle between Chan's car and her own, but she strangely found she didn't mind. Jisung seemed to have enough skill to hold his own, and Y/n was far more focused and preoccupied on beating two particular cars.

Chan’s car surged ahead at first, taking an early lead like Y/n had always seen him do, with smooth confidence and practiced ease. Y/n glanced at her rearview mirror; she could already see the blonde racer's car coming up behind her. He was so incredibly fast that Y/n put him out of her mind, instead focusing on Chan's car beside her.

Forget about the hot blonde guy, she thought. I just have to place, and beat Chan.

Chan's car was faster, smoother, and Y/n could tell that he knew the track like the back of his hand. But Y/n stayed focused, her knuckles white against the wheel, refusing to be intimidated. She could feel the power beneath her, every turn and shift of the road pushing her to test her limits, and go beyond. She gritted her teeth and wrenched the wheel, eyes laser-focused on the track ahead and the cars vying to overtake her.

The cars whipped around tight corners, engines screaming, sparks flying as their bumpers almost brushed. Y/n inched closer, narrowing the gap between her car and Chan's. Her eyes flicked to the speedometer—she was pushing her car harder than ever.

Y/n saw Chan’s engine suddenly sputter, and his car jerking violently. The reckless revving dropped, and the smooth power that was seconds ago relied on faltered. His car slowed, losing speed, and within seconds, it was clear—his car was stalling.

Y/n's eyes instinctively flickered back and forth between the track ahead and Chan's car, now dropping behind her. She could see him beat his fist against the wheel, his expression wild and glaring. Her heart hammered against her chest as she grit her teeth, wondering if she should slow down. But regaining her rationality, she cast Chan one last glance and sped past, right behind Jisung and the blonde racer. Steeling her focus, she looked ahead at the finish line, the grid girl now standing on the side of the track, waving the checkered flag.

Her hands tightened on the wheel. This is it.

The finish line was in sight, the wind whipping past her, the crowd roaring as they saw her take the lead, directly behind the blonde. She sped ahead, leaving Chan and his stalling car behind.

Seconds later, Y/n crossed the line, the rush of her first placing victory flooding through her veins. She slammed on the brakes, coming to a hard stop, her heart pounding, barely believing what had just happened.

She turned the engine off and with clammy hands, opened the door, stumbling out. Her ankles and wrists ached with the exertion and her fingers hurt, like they had been molded to the steering wheel. She made a mental note to buy gloves and loosen her grip next time.

The thought flew out of Y/n's head as a large, lean figure tackled her in a hug, her hearing muffling temporarily along with the roars from the crowd. Jisung lifted her above the ground, his hair slick with sweat, eyes crinkled as he laughed. He shrieked, jumping up and down on the spot, Y/n jolting in his arms.

"You did it!" he cheered. "Even beat me and Chan. How's that for a proper race, uh?"

Y/n smiled, letting out a tentative, wheezy laugh, struggling in his grip.

"Thank you, Jisung, but I can't breathe-"

"Oh! Oh, sorry, sorry," he placed her back on the ground, readjusting the jacket from where he'd disheveled it. He grinned at her, running a gloved hand through his hair. The haphazardly neon, overexcited crowd bustled around them, jostling and shouting. "Better?"

Y/n nodded, relieved, just as she spotted a head of messy blonde hair. Peeking behind her friend, she noticed the blonde racer pushing and brushing his way through the crowd. She blurted out a half-hearted excuse to Jisung and disappeared into the mess of people, trying to keep him in her sight.

Finally making her way through to the other side of the crowd, Y/n inhaled in a much-needed breath of cold, slightly smoky air, and glanced around hastily, her eyes settling on the racer. He was a little way away, talking to a slim, well-dressed man with a stern face. Y/n stumbled past a crowd of flamboyantly dressed young women and came up beside him, panting slightly. The well-dressed man disappeared with a glance at her, just as the blonde racer turned to face her. Y/n's breath escaped her lungs in a low whoosh.

He was beautiful.

Stuttering slightly, and feeling like a common peasant in the presence of someone so ethereally charming, Y/n found she had temporarily lost the capacity for speech. Her words finally came out in a rather pathetic, stumbling mess of fragments.

"U-um, I just- wanted to say, that-"

The racer raised an eyebrow, his expression not unfriendly nor open. More... mildly irritated and hesitantly curious at the same time. Y/n was convinced she couldn't have pulled off the expression if she tried.

His voice broke through the charged, slightly smoky atmosphere, the tone and pitch of it deep and thick and smooth like honey.

"Yes?"

Y/n's knees almost buckled. His voice was rich and accented, like Chan's but just a little bit more so. Y/n noticed his freckles again, spotting the bridge of his nose and cheeks, his eyes veiled by long, dark lashes. There was a slighter larger freckle on the smooth curve of his cheekbone, shaped a little like a heart. She fought the sudden urge to smile at the cuteness of it and awkwardly cleared her throat.

"Um, congratulations. For winning the race."

Her words came out more composed than before. Y/n silently congratulated herself on being able to form a singular coherent sentence in front of this ethereal supermodel of a human being.

"Thank you."

Y/n fidgeted, unsure of what to do. She intertwined her fingers, trying not to make things awkward. The supermodel racer simply stared at her, tilting his head slightly, before reaching out and tugging lightly on the collar of her borrowed jacket. A jolt of fire seared through Y/n at the touch, though he had made no contact with her skin. Like a static shock.

"Stealing Jisung's things, hmm?"

Y/n stuttered. "He let me me borrow it. Uhm, for the race."

"I see. Congratulations to you too. Much better since your last try."

Y/n almost choked on her saliva, the humiliating memory of her first race resurfacing in her mind. Had he been watching her?

All this time?

The racer seemed to notice her assumption, because his eyes widened infinitesimally, his hands clenching into fists. Seemingly irritated, he huffed out a breath that felt more forced than genuine.

Must be to keep up an image, Y/n thought ruefully to herself. I bet he's a softie under all of it. Like Chan. I think.

The blonde's thick, velvety voice floated through the air to her again, this time tinted in clarity and begrudging respect.

"Don't get cocky, rookie."

"Okay."

The racer simply nodded, apparently deeming the conversation finished, and brushed past her into the crowd.

Y/n watched him go.

☆★☆

The crowd was like a human barrier; Y/n was pushing and stumbling her way through, trying to get back to Jisung. Suddenly turning around, she ran directly into someone, almost falling over backwards. Panic set in her chest as she stumbled, the jostling crowd around her doing nothing to help her regain her bearings or balance.

Y/n squeezed her eyes shut, bracing, just as a pair of strong arms coiled around her waist, warm and stable. Her feet caught themselves on the asphalt, and one foot hovered unsurely just above the ground. Y/n looked up at Chan.

He smiled ruefully. "Should have caught you the first time, uh?"

Y/n's heart dropped out from her ribcage, down her legs, and out of her ass. She flushed suddenly at the feeling of his arms around her waist, cheeks tingling with fire.

"Thanks," she managed to get out as Chan pulled her fully upright. He released his hold on her and Y/n's body almost followed him like a magnet, already feeling cold without his touch. A sense of bittersweet disappointment filled her stomach. She blinked, hard, before looking up at him, unsure of what to say. Was he upset he'd lost?

"Um, your car-"

"Don't worry about it," Chan's expression was unreadable.

Such a carefully constructed mask, Y/n thought. A lot like Minho's.

But where Minho's mask was gold and ivory, Chan's was silver and obsidian.

Opposites.

In every way, it seemed. Black and white. Light and dark. Like two knights from opposing kingdoms, standing for completely different things.

White knight and black knight.

Y/n snapped out of her thoughts, opening her mouth to speak. Chan beat her to it.

"I'm sorry."

What?

Y/n's dumbfounded expression must have betrayed her surprise, because Chan rolled his eyes, tapping his foot on the asphalt. He huffed, seemingly trying to steel himself, or keep his irritation in check. Knowing Chan as little as she did, she went ahead and assumed it was probably the latter.

"Just- I'm sorry. That I shouted at Minho in front of you, that I left the tuning shop so suddenly. I didn't mean to get so sentimental, just- memories, y'know?"

Y/n blinked, her capacity for speech returning from its brief holiday.

"Oh. Um- it's okay."

Chan blinked back at her, expression mildly surprised. His eyebrows shot up into his hairline, disbelieving. It was clear he hadn't been expecting to be forgiven.

"I thought you'd be pissed."

Y/n shrugged. "I was, but I let it go after a while. I forgive you. You know, if that's what you want to hear."

Chan's mouth formed a small, 'o' and Y/n's cheeks puffed up, trying to hold back a laugh.

"You look like a pufferfish," she snickered.

Chan flushed a light pink across his cheekbones and tutted once at her before hastily running a hand through his dark, sweat-slicked hair. Now that he was standing a little closer, Y/n could see the light bruising around his right eye showing through. She could see the light, careful smoothing of concealer over the sweat-sheened area and bit the inside of her cheek. A tiny patch of purple and green bloomed in faint patches at the corner of his eye, and to Y/n, it looked like it'd gotten worse since the last time they'd seen each other. Se glanced up at the racer, suddenly concerned, but decided not to say anything.

Chan suddenly opened his mouth to retort to her comment and was immediately tackled by a tornado with dirty blonde hair and a mesh shirt. He let out an oof and stumbled back a few steps, freezing as Jisung joyfully squeezed him around the middle. Chan exhaled before hesitantly patting Jisung on the back. Y/n chuckled.

"Y/n beat you," Jisung's voice was muffled, though it contained no small amount of glee.

Chan groaned. "Well spotted. Uh- you can let go now."

Jisung lifted his head from where it was buried in Chan's shoulder, and reluctantly let go, cheeks puffing out in a pout.

Y/n chuckled at her friend's antics and glanced at Chan. The crowd around her was beginning to feel suffocating.

"Let's go sit down."

☆★☆

Chan groaned as Jisung snatched his drink for the fourth time, laughing.

Y/n had dragged the both of them up into the bleachers, where they could watch the entire event without being crowded. The neon flashing lights and the screeching of the cars had dimmed, as if someone had draped a blanket over it, dulling the lights and colours and noises.

She dragged her gaze away from the arena below and turned her gaze to Jisung. He was busy scarfing down the rest of Chan's drink. Tossing it into a nearby bin, he turned to her with a cheeky grin. Chan groaned and shoved him lightly, displeased with the theft of his refreshment, sending Jisung into a fit of laughter.

Looking down at the arena again, Y/n replayed the events of the night. The blonde haired racer popped into her mind, and she turned to Jisung suddenly, curious.

"Jisung?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you, um- there's this blonde haired racer, he was next to me in the lineup. Do you maybe know who he is? He had the McLaren with the lightning strikes on it."

Jisung nodded thoughtfully. Chan was preoccupied, running calloused fingertips over the thick silver chain on his wrist. He looked up in interest just as Jisung spoke.

"Blonde hair, McLaren, lightning strikes... sounds like someone we know, huh, Chan?"

Chan rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat. The night breeze blew his dark hair black, the wind running its cool fingers through the sweat-dried locks.

"Oh, we know him all right."

Jisung grinned cheekily, chuckling. "Chan hates him because he's a better racer."

"I do not. And he's not that good."

"Mhm, totally..."

"Oh, shut up, Jisung."

The younger boy laughed, holding up his hands in defence, leaning away from Chan. The shit-eating grin on Jisung's face was wiped away by a swift, sharp slap to the upside of his head. He groaned and flopped dramatically to the arena floor. Y/n, meanwhile, just blinked softly, unbothered by their antics.

"What's his name?" she asked inquisitively.

Chan huffed, stretching out his long legs in front of him before propping them up on the seat in front. His voice was gravelly.

"Lee Felix."

a/n: i planned to post this a month ago but oops. also felix introduction yay !